Unrealistic Movie/TV Happenings

Lord Poe · Post by **Lord Poe** » 2002-11-11 11:46pm

What bothers you when you see it in a movie? For me:

People that never end a phone conversation like they would in real life. No "goodbye", nothing.

People who jump out of bed and into their clothes right after sex. Ewww....

Blood squirting out of a body like a ketchup pack when shot.

People not locking their car after they park it.

People sticking their head IN a toilet and caressing the bowl as they throw up. I've NEVER seen anyone do this, no matter HOW fucked up they were.

Post by **Kuja** » 2002-11-11 11:48pm

A guy whips out a gun and puts a bullet right between his opponent's eyes in less than a second at a range of thirty yards.

A guy who takes a bullet and doesn't even react to it (Con Air).

Post by **weemadando** » 2002-11-11 11:50pm

IG-88E wrote:A guy whips out a gun and puts a bullet right between his opponent's eyes in less than a second at a range of thirty yards. :roll:

A guy who takes a bullet and doesn't even react to it (Con Air).

My personal favourite is:

Cops ALWAYS die 3 days before retirement. Unless their name is mentioned in the opening credits.

The Dark · Post by **The Dark** » 2002-11-11 11:51pm

Every freakin' car in Hollywood explodes. A car on fire does NOT react that way most of the time! I've seen car fires; my father and grandfather were firefighters. Cars just don't explode the vast majority of the time.

Illuminatus Primus · Post by **Illuminatus Primus** » 2002-11-11 11:52pm

Muzzle flashes that rival fireworks displays.

Post by **fgalkin** » 2002-11-11 11:53pm

Sound in space. It really pissed me off when I was watching Wing Commander.

Joe · Post by **Joe** » 2002-11-11 11:53pm

There's a movie on the way called The Core in which the magnetic core of the Earth stops turning. My head was about to pop when I saw the trailer.

Specialist · Post by **Specialist** » 2002-11-11 11:54pm

I hate when woman always have on a blank chest high.
Father forgot stupid 8 year old brat's birthday.

Post by **Kuja** » 2002-11-11 11:56pm

Somehow, all beds have L-shaped sheets that cover a woman up to her neck, but only come up to the waist on the guy next to her.

Post by **weemadando** » 2002-11-11 11:57pm

Specialist wrote:I hate when woman always have on a blank chest high.
Father forgot stupid 8 year old brat's birthday.

MOD!

Illuminatus Primus · Post by **Illuminatus Primus** » 2002-11-11 11:57pm

Free the tits in America!

Brother-Captain Gaius · Post by **Brother-Captain Gaius** » 2002-11-12 12:01am

There's a LOT of things that piss me off about movies. But if I had to pick one:

WHY THE FUCK DOES THE COOL BLACK GUY ALWAYS HAVE TO FUCKING DIE!?

It pissed the royal hell out of me. They're always so goddamned cool but then they always die some gruesome, disgusting, horrible death. What the fuck?

David · Post by **David** » 2002-11-12 12:02am

The way some people can come out of an explosion dirty and beat up, then a scene later they are clean and fine.

Damaramu · Post by **Damaramu** » 2002-11-12 12:06am

Uneccessary gun cocking. Done in almost EVERY action flick.

Stravo · Post by **Stravo** » 2002-11-12 12:06am

The horribly contrived ways that people get into stupid situations with a killer in slasher/horror movies. I mean c'mon, most people with half a brain could avoid the situations that Michael Meyers, Jason and Freddy use to kill them. Thats just lazy writing.

The formula of action pics last fights. Hero fights villain, villain starts kicking his ass, hero gets a burst of heroic adrenaline, wipes up floor with villain...see Spiderman as a prime example of this in the final fight. Its getting really tiresome. Even worse, Steven Seagal movies where he doesn't even break a sweat in the final fight.

Durandal · Post by **Durandal** » 2002-11-12 12:10am

Outrunning explosions. You can't. They travel much faster than you.

Brother-Captain Gaius · Post by **Brother-Captain Gaius** » 2002-11-12 12:16am

Unrealistic war movies. Grrr....
Like in Saving Private Ryan, at the end in the battle in Ramelle, the sniper with the Springfield 1903 just sat there in the bell tower firing non-stop. Hello!? Springfields have FIVE ROUND CLIPS! He fired at least 8 shots without reloading. And when the captain was wounded and firing his M1911 at the Panzer, he fired 7 shots at it, then it was destroyed by a P-51. That's all great and fine, but then shows him again and you can clearly see that there is still a round in the chamber, which should not happen 'cus M1911s have 7 round clips!!! GRRR

And its not just ammo issues. You see crap in other movies like bazookas (which are obsolete) destroying main battle tanks. Or the Nazi planes in Enemy at the Gates, when they strafed the Soviet boat they hit like all the passengers in the neck somehow and left little pinpoint entry wounds. Last time I checked fighters had heavy machine guns and cannons that can take out bombers. Said weaponry would completely dismember a human target.

I think the only one that has not committed any of these crimes is the most excellent Black Hawk Down.

ElBlanco · Post by **ElBlanco** » 2002-11-12 12:19am

At what point is it just anal retentive? I can see getting pissed about a huge plot hole, but counting the rounds in a gun?

Brother-Captain Gaius · Post by **Brother-Captain Gaius** » 2002-11-12 12:20am

ElBlanco wrote:At what point is it just anal retentive? I can see getting pissed about a huge plot hole, but counting the rounds in a gun?

Its just...wrong.

The Dark · Post by **The Dark** » 2002-11-12 12:21am

JediNeophyte wrote:Unrealistic war movies. Grrr....
Like in Saving Private Ryan, at the end in the battle in Ramelle, the sniper with the Springfield 1903 just sat there in the bell tower firing non-stop. Hello!? Springfields have FIVE ROUND CLIPS! He fired at least 8 shots without reloading. And when the captain was wounded and firing his M1911 at the Panzer, he fired 7 shots at it, then it was destroyed by a P-51. That's all great and fine, but then shows him again and you can clearly see that there is still a round in the chamber, which should not happen 'cus M1911s have 7 round clips!!! GRRR

I'll agree with the sniper, but the Captain could have already had a round chambered in the M1911, which would have left one after firing seven rounds.

Brother-Captain Gaius · Post by **Brother-Captain Gaius** » 2002-11-12 12:28am

The Dark wrote:
JediNeophyte wrote:Unrealistic war movies. Grrr....
Like in Saving Private Ryan, at the end in the battle in Ramelle, the sniper with the Springfield 1903 just sat there in the bell tower firing non-stop. Hello!? Springfields have FIVE ROUND CLIPS! He fired at least 8 shots without reloading. And when the captain was wounded and firing his M1911 at the Panzer, he fired 7 shots at it, then it was destroyed by a P-51. That's all great and fine, but then shows him again and you can clearly see that there is still a round in the chamber, which should not happen 'cus M1911s have 7 round clips!!! GRRR
I'll agree with the sniper, but the Captain could have already had a round chambered in the M1911, which would have left one after firing seven rounds.

Possible, but unlikely.

neoolong · Post by **neoolong** » 2002-11-12 12:29am

JediNeophyte wrote:
ElBlanco wrote:At what point is it just anal retentive? I can see getting pissed about a huge plot hole, but counting the rounds in a gun?
Its just...wrong.

How much about movie making do you know? There are people in charge of continuity between shots but gun shots is not something they really pay attention to. Since the weapons are going to be reloaded for nearly every shot and each shot has multiple takes, it is incredibly hard to be totally correct with the number of bullets shot. This is compounded when the editor decides which take to use for each shot. It's just not very important.

Raxmei · Post by **Raxmei** » 2002-11-12 12:31am

The Dark wrote:
I'll agree with the sniper, but the Captain could have already had a round chambered in the M1911, which would have left one after firing seven rounds.

Maybe he followed the overlord list advice and got a weapon modified to fire one more shot than normal.

Frank Hipper · Post by **Frank Hipper** » 2002-11-12 12:38am

The driver of a car gets in on the passenger's side all the fucking time. Have any of you done this except in EXTREMELY rare circumstances?

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2002-11-12 12:43am

Unrealistic movie cliches:

a man and a woman who hate each other and insult each other constantly are actually madly in love with each other, and at the height of one of their arguments, will suddenly start tearing each others' clothes off. That is so fucking stupid that mere insults cannot do it justice.
people who are actually lifted off their feet and thrown through the air by a punch or kick. Nobody hits that hard, folks.
people getting up and continuing to fight after #2.
car tires squealing on dirt or gravel roads. Somebody please take the sound guys aside and beat the living crap out of them for being so fucking stupid.
brilliant criminal masterminds. Real criminals are either idiots or white-collar criminals who do not get into gunfights with the police.
ultra-localized grenades. In the movies, if you can get even six feet away from a grenade before it goes off, you'll be fine.
perfect dialogue. Nobody ever stumbles over their own words, stutters (except for comic effect), makes broken sentences, etc. People are invariably eloquent and smooth.
moron with a heart of gold (otherwise known as "Forrest Gump Syndrome"). In movies, the smarter you are, the more evil you are likely to be. The dumber you are, the more noble you are likely to be. In real life, stupid people tend to be insensitive, inconsiderate assholes (not surprising; it takes a certain amount of intelligence to think about the effect of our actions upon others). We even make excuses for them when they're assholes, eg- "they're mentally retarded; they don't understand the social graces."
muscle mass makes bullets miss. In real life, a man who can bench-press 600 lbs and a man who can bench-press 100 lbs have precisely the same chance of being hit by an enemy bullet (actually, the bigger guy is a slightly bigger target). But in most action movies, the biggest, strongest guy in any group of soldiers will always survive until the end of the battle, so he can fight the other army's biggest, toughest warrior. Apparently, bullets fear muscle mass and will change their trajectories in order to miss.
100% of Asian men are expert martial artists. Apparently, we're born with the ability.