[HP] Love Song for a Werewolf (ch4)
Moderator: LadyTevar
Another great job, IB.
Me: Nope, that's why I have you around to tell me.
Nitram: You -are- beautiful. Anyone tries to tell you otherwise kill them.
"A life is like a garden. Perfect moments can be had, but not preserved, except in memory. LLAP" -- Leonard Nimoy, last Tweet
I like it, but I worry that you're making James a too unsympathetic character. The style and flow of the story are pretty good though.
Η ζωή, η ζωή εδω τελειώνει!
"Science is one cold-hearted bitch with a 14" strap-on" - Masuka 'Dexter'
"Angela is not the woman you think she is Gabriel, she's done terrible things"
"So have I, and I'm going to do them all to you." - Sylar to Arthur 'Heroes'
-
Prozac the Robert
- Jedi Master
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- Joined: 2004-05-05 09:01am
- Location: UK
James was rather arrogant though, OotP showed that. I imagine that he would be quite ready to jump to the aid of a friend, which would be the main reason people thought of him so highly, but he's not above mocking people. And remember that he's not even an adult at this point.
Oh, and I like this IB. It would be a real shame if JKR messed it up by writing the next couple of books the wrong way.
Oh, and I like this IB. It would be a real shame if JKR messed it up by writing the next couple of books the wrong way
.Hi! I'm Prozac the Robert!
EBC: "We can categorically state that we will be releasing giant man-eating badgers into the area."
EBC: "We can categorically state that we will be releasing giant man-eating badgers into the area."
It's a good point, but I'm not trying to show James in a balanced light. I'm trying to show him through the eyes of someone who hates him, so i'm not too worried. He has his moments, but we all know he's a good guy really.
"I fight with love, and I laugh with rage, you gotta live light enough to see the humour and long enough to see some change" - Ani DiFranco, Pick Yer Nose
"Life 's not a song, life isn't bliss, life is just this: it's living." - Spike, Once More with Feeling
"Life 's not a song, life isn't bliss, life is just this: it's living." - Spike, Once More with Feeling
Actually that relevation makes the story more excessible.InnerBrat wrote:It's a good point, but I'm not trying to show James in a balanced light. I'm trying to show him through the eyes of someone who hates him, so i'm not too worried. He has his moments, but we all know he's a good guy really.
Η ζωή, η ζωή εδω τελειώνει!
"Science is one cold-hearted bitch with a 14" strap-on" - Masuka 'Dexter'
"Angela is not the woman you think she is Gabriel, she's done terrible things"
"So have I, and I'm going to do them all to you." - Sylar to Arthur 'Heroes'
-----------------
CHAPTER FOUR: MAKING THE TEAM
-----------------
It was not even Halloween yet, and Remus had too much work again. He had planned to give all his classes practical homework this week, to reduce his marking load over the full moon, but his fifth years had proved to be so behind – presumably due to their erratic teaching so far - that he’d had to overload them already, and was pushed to try and get them up to OWL standard this year. He’d advised those who wanted to get a really good mark to sign up for Dumbledore’s Army, which was now being run by Luna Lovegood, one of his best Seventh year students apart from Ginny Weasley, who had quite enough on her plate with her Head Girl duties and Quidditch. However, Luna wasn’t as good a teacher as Harry had been, and she had to work towards her NEWTs as well, so Remus was working on a new schedule to enable both the fifth and seventh years to do themselves justice in their exams.
He was interrupted in his thought process by a knock on the door, which swung open to reveal Fiona, a broomstick in one hand and a goblet of something steaming in the other.
“Hi Remus,” she looked at the long scrolls of parchment littering his desk. “Bad time?”
“No, that’s OK,” Remus frowned, with thought. “I think that’s enough to be getting on with. I can finish my marking tomorrow, and then I’ve got the weekend free,” he sighed out of closed lips; a free weekend would be a lot more exciting a prospect if he didn’t have to transform into a werewolf and spend it in his office.
Fiona gave a sympathetic smile. “Well, about that, Severus asked me to bring you this,” she indicated the goblet in her hand and handed it to him. He regarded it with distaste.
“What have you been doing with Snape, anyway?” he asked teasingly, taking a sip at the foul tasting connoction. She assumed an expression of mock indignation.
“If you must know, I’ve just come from a meeting with him,” she turned to shut the door properly behind herself, then perched herself on an empty spot on Remus’ desk. “Cathy Boot.”
“Ravenclaw second year,” responded Remus promptly. “Her older brother has just left, with an Outstanding in his Defence Against the Dark Arts NEWT, and she feels a bit overshadowed. She produces superlative written work herself, but panics in practical situations. Can’t deal well with the unexpected.”
“Impressive, Professor,” said Fiona, amused. “Well, she’s just made Chaser.”
“And this merits a meeting with Snape?”
“Not in its own right, no. But she insists on flying this old thing,” Fiona lifted the broom in her hand, and Remus looked at it blankly, not really knowing one broomstick from another. It was losing its varnish in places, and had a large notch in the handle where some of the wood had broken off. “It’s one of the school Shooting Stars,” Fiona explained. “She flies incredibly well on it for what it is, but it’s quite frankly not up to competition standard.”
“So why does she insist on it?” Remus asked, but not really expecting an answer. Cathy had spent the last practical lesson refusing to participate because the Red Cap she’d wanted to work with had been taken by the time she made the front to collect it.
“I don’t think even she knows, really,” Fiona confirmed his suspicions. “She flies it in lessons, and insisted on it every time last year. Brian Perkins says that once someone got it instead and she went into hysterics.
"The thing is, she can do things on this old thing that half of the Slytherin team can’t do on their Nimbuses, and has rightly earned a place on the team, but of course, Tim Bradley won’t let her play on this as it is, so the three of us and all the Heads of House have just had a pointlessly long meeting about what Filius and I can do to improve the broom’s flying ability, without acting illegally with respects to the tournament. Severus seems to take it all very personally.”
“Well, the Heads of House do see themselves as the eighth team member, usually. But I suppose it’s all a bit petty to you?” Remus raised an eyebrow at Fiona as he drank more of the Wolfsbane Potion.
She actually scowled a little. “No, Remus, I don’t think that I’m ‘above’ school Quidditch if that’s what you’re implying. I just think it’d be nice if some of the teachers in this school realise that no matter what level you’re playing it at, it is just a game.”
“I didn’t mean it that way, Fi,” Remus said, a little insulted. She paused a sec, then shook her head.
“I’m sorry,” she said, noticeably more calmly. “I think I’m just getting that impression from Severus. His opinion of me has gone down, it seems.” Which is a good thing, she assured herself. Definitely a good thing.
“Well, he’s not got a lot of time for Quidditch outside the House Cup,” Remus pointed out, “and has even less for Quidditch players."
“No, he really hasn’t, has he?” said Fiona thoughtfully. That explained a lot.
---------------------
“Fi, are you in here?” Lily pushed open the door and softly entered the second year girls’ dormitory to find the curtains around Fiona’s bed were closed. There was an oppressive silence in the room, as if Fiona had stifled her sobs when she heard someone come in.
Lily peeked into Fiona’s bed to see, sure enough, her friend lying face down on the bed, with her face buried in her pillow. Lily sat down beside her and placed a hand on her shoulder. “Aren’t the tryouts today?”
Fiona’s reply was muffled by the pillow, but it sounded to Lily like “’m nud gern!”
“Oh come on, Fi! You’ve been talking about Quidditch every day for as long as I’ve known you! You said you’re really good. You are good! You’re not seriously telling me that you don’t want to try out for the House Team, are you?”
“Don’t wanna go if he’s going to be there,” said Fiona stubbornly, lifting her face just enough to get the words out.”
“Oh, Fi, don’t listen to him. He’s just a horrible, nasty person. He’s only doing it to get a rise out of you.”
“But it’s not true!” Fiona exclaimed indignantly, sitting up to talk to Lily. “I don’t… I would never!”
“I know,” replied Lily patiently. “James is just a stupid bully. They all are.”
“I don’t get it, Lil. Why are they like that? How come Peter puts up with it?”
“I don’t know,” she shrugged. “I guess he just hasn’t got any other boys to hang out with. There’s only four of them in Gryffindor, after all. Besides, Fi, he knows they don’t mean it. They’re only having a joke.”
“Yes, AT MY EXPENSE!” Fiona looked like she was about to cry again.
“Ssh,” Lily said soothingly. Not sure what to say, she hugged her friend,“Just don’t let them know they get to you. They’ll only get worse.”
“Why, Lil? Why would they be so horrible to me if they know how much it upsets me?”
“Because they’re mean, stupid little boys,” Lily said venomously. “Now listen, Fi. I’ve seen you fly. How many times has Mr Boreas said you’re a natural Seeker? You love Quidditch. You’ll never forgive yourself if you don’t try out?”
“But if I’m Seeker and Potter makes Chaser…”
“… then James’ll just have to learn to treat his team mates with respect, is all. Besides,” Lily continued, “if you don’t go, who knows who we’ll have? I for one don’t want that stuck up cow Devaki representing me!”
It was so rare to hear Lily insulting anyone that wasn’t a Marauder – the name Sirius had rather arrogantly assigned to himself and his friends last year – that Fiona smiled in spite of herself and wiped her eyes.
“That’s better,” Lily smiled. “Are you coming down, then?” Fiona nodded, and reached for her broomstick: a brand new Shooting Star that her father had bought her over the holidays. She’d show James Potter what Quidditch was about.
CHAPTER FOUR: MAKING THE TEAM
-----------------
It was not even Halloween yet, and Remus had too much work again. He had planned to give all his classes practical homework this week, to reduce his marking load over the full moon, but his fifth years had proved to be so behind – presumably due to their erratic teaching so far - that he’d had to overload them already, and was pushed to try and get them up to OWL standard this year. He’d advised those who wanted to get a really good mark to sign up for Dumbledore’s Army, which was now being run by Luna Lovegood, one of his best Seventh year students apart from Ginny Weasley, who had quite enough on her plate with her Head Girl duties and Quidditch. However, Luna wasn’t as good a teacher as Harry had been, and she had to work towards her NEWTs as well, so Remus was working on a new schedule to enable both the fifth and seventh years to do themselves justice in their exams.
He was interrupted in his thought process by a knock on the door, which swung open to reveal Fiona, a broomstick in one hand and a goblet of something steaming in the other.
“Hi Remus,” she looked at the long scrolls of parchment littering his desk. “Bad time?”
“No, that’s OK,” Remus frowned, with thought. “I think that’s enough to be getting on with. I can finish my marking tomorrow, and then I’ve got the weekend free,” he sighed out of closed lips; a free weekend would be a lot more exciting a prospect if he didn’t have to transform into a werewolf and spend it in his office.
Fiona gave a sympathetic smile. “Well, about that, Severus asked me to bring you this,” she indicated the goblet in her hand and handed it to him. He regarded it with distaste.
“What have you been doing with Snape, anyway?” he asked teasingly, taking a sip at the foul tasting connoction. She assumed an expression of mock indignation.
“If you must know, I’ve just come from a meeting with him,” she turned to shut the door properly behind herself, then perched herself on an empty spot on Remus’ desk. “Cathy Boot.”
“Ravenclaw second year,” responded Remus promptly. “Her older brother has just left, with an Outstanding in his Defence Against the Dark Arts NEWT, and she feels a bit overshadowed. She produces superlative written work herself, but panics in practical situations. Can’t deal well with the unexpected.”
“Impressive, Professor,” said Fiona, amused. “Well, she’s just made Chaser.”
“And this merits a meeting with Snape?”
“Not in its own right, no. But she insists on flying this old thing,” Fiona lifted the broom in her hand, and Remus looked at it blankly, not really knowing one broomstick from another. It was losing its varnish in places, and had a large notch in the handle where some of the wood had broken off. “It’s one of the school Shooting Stars,” Fiona explained. “She flies incredibly well on it for what it is, but it’s quite frankly not up to competition standard.”
“So why does she insist on it?” Remus asked, but not really expecting an answer. Cathy had spent the last practical lesson refusing to participate because the Red Cap she’d wanted to work with had been taken by the time she made the front to collect it.
“I don’t think even she knows, really,” Fiona confirmed his suspicions. “She flies it in lessons, and insisted on it every time last year. Brian Perkins says that once someone got it instead and she went into hysterics.
"The thing is, she can do things on this old thing that half of the Slytherin team can’t do on their Nimbuses, and has rightly earned a place on the team, but of course, Tim Bradley won’t let her play on this as it is, so the three of us and all the Heads of House have just had a pointlessly long meeting about what Filius and I can do to improve the broom’s flying ability, without acting illegally with respects to the tournament. Severus seems to take it all very personally.”
“Well, the Heads of House do see themselves as the eighth team member, usually. But I suppose it’s all a bit petty to you?” Remus raised an eyebrow at Fiona as he drank more of the Wolfsbane Potion.
She actually scowled a little. “No, Remus, I don’t think that I’m ‘above’ school Quidditch if that’s what you’re implying. I just think it’d be nice if some of the teachers in this school realise that no matter what level you’re playing it at, it is just a game.”
“I didn’t mean it that way, Fi,” Remus said, a little insulted. She paused a sec, then shook her head.
“I’m sorry,” she said, noticeably more calmly. “I think I’m just getting that impression from Severus. His opinion of me has gone down, it seems.” Which is a good thing, she assured herself. Definitely a good thing.
“Well, he’s not got a lot of time for Quidditch outside the House Cup,” Remus pointed out, “and has even less for Quidditch players."
“No, he really hasn’t, has he?” said Fiona thoughtfully. That explained a lot.
---------------------
“Fi, are you in here?” Lily pushed open the door and softly entered the second year girls’ dormitory to find the curtains around Fiona’s bed were closed. There was an oppressive silence in the room, as if Fiona had stifled her sobs when she heard someone come in.
Lily peeked into Fiona’s bed to see, sure enough, her friend lying face down on the bed, with her face buried in her pillow. Lily sat down beside her and placed a hand on her shoulder. “Aren’t the tryouts today?”
Fiona’s reply was muffled by the pillow, but it sounded to Lily like “’m nud gern!”
“Oh come on, Fi! You’ve been talking about Quidditch every day for as long as I’ve known you! You said you’re really good. You are good! You’re not seriously telling me that you don’t want to try out for the House Team, are you?”
“Don’t wanna go if he’s going to be there,” said Fiona stubbornly, lifting her face just enough to get the words out.”
“Oh, Fi, don’t listen to him. He’s just a horrible, nasty person. He’s only doing it to get a rise out of you.”
“But it’s not true!” Fiona exclaimed indignantly, sitting up to talk to Lily. “I don’t… I would never!”
“I know,” replied Lily patiently. “James is just a stupid bully. They all are.”
“I don’t get it, Lil. Why are they like that? How come Peter puts up with it?”
“I don’t know,” she shrugged. “I guess he just hasn’t got any other boys to hang out with. There’s only four of them in Gryffindor, after all. Besides, Fi, he knows they don’t mean it. They’re only having a joke.”
“Yes, AT MY EXPENSE!” Fiona looked like she was about to cry again.
“Ssh,” Lily said soothingly. Not sure what to say, she hugged her friend,“Just don’t let them know they get to you. They’ll only get worse.”
“Why, Lil? Why would they be so horrible to me if they know how much it upsets me?”
“Because they’re mean, stupid little boys,” Lily said venomously. “Now listen, Fi. I’ve seen you fly. How many times has Mr Boreas said you’re a natural Seeker? You love Quidditch. You’ll never forgive yourself if you don’t try out?”
“But if I’m Seeker and Potter makes Chaser…”
“… then James’ll just have to learn to treat his team mates with respect, is all. Besides,” Lily continued, “if you don’t go, who knows who we’ll have? I for one don’t want that stuck up cow Devaki representing me!”
It was so rare to hear Lily insulting anyone that wasn’t a Marauder – the name Sirius had rather arrogantly assigned to himself and his friends last year – that Fiona smiled in spite of herself and wiped her eyes.
“That’s better,” Lily smiled. “Are you coming down, then?” Fiona nodded, and reached for her broomstick: a brand new Shooting Star that her father had bought her over the holidays. She’d show James Potter what Quidditch was about.
"I fight with love, and I laugh with rage, you gotta live light enough to see the humour and long enough to see some change" - Ani DiFranco, Pick Yer Nose
"Life 's not a song, life isn't bliss, life is just this: it's living." - Spike, Once More with Feeling
"Life 's not a song, life isn't bliss, life is just this: it's living." - Spike, Once More with Feeling
Very nicely done, IB. Can't wait for the next chapter!
Me: Nope, that's why I have you around to tell me.
Nitram: You -are- beautiful. Anyone tries to tell you otherwise kill them.
"A life is like a garden. Perfect moments can be had, but not preserved, except in memory. LLAP" -- Leonard Nimoy, last Tweet
-
Ghost Rider
- Spirit of Vengeance
- Posts: 27779
- Joined: 2002-09-24 01:48pm
- Location: DC...looking up from the gutters to the stars
I really like the implication and foreshadowing with a past with Snape, and the whole James/Lily play. Superb material there.
MM /CF/WG/BOTM/JL/Original Warsie/ACPATHNTDWATGODW FOREVER!!
Sometimes we can choose the path we follow. Sometimes our choices are made for us. And sometimes we have no choice at all
Saying and doing are chocolate and concrete
Sometimes we can choose the path we follow. Sometimes our choices are made for us. And sometimes we have no choice at all
Saying and doing are chocolate and concrete
Don't believe everything you see in the moviesCrown wrote:Isn't James made Seeker
"I fight with love, and I laugh with rage, you gotta live light enough to see the humour and long enough to see some change" - Ani DiFranco, Pick Yer Nose
"Life 's not a song, life isn't bliss, life is just this: it's living." - Spike, Once More with Feeling
"Life 's not a song, life isn't bliss, life is just this: it's living." - Spike, Once More with Feeling
Ahh yes, but it was the 'playing with the snitch' that stuck in my mind more, honestly.InnerBrat wrote:Don't believe everything you see in the moviesCrown wrote:Isn't James made Seeker
Oh and just to add some more fuel to the fire about the halfblood/pureblood;
source
Love me?Mugglenet.com wrote:When Tom Riddle was talking to Harry in the Chamber of Secrets he said that they were similar because they were both half-bloods. But Harry isn't a half-blood. Lily and James were both wizards and witches. (Many people say that because Lily was muggle born that makes Harry a half-blood, but that is not true. If both parents are witches and wizards you are a pure-blood. Half-blood means ONE parent is a witch/wizard and the other is a muggle.)
But I don't really put too much weight behind it, since Dumbledore repeated the same reasoning to Harry in OotP, but it seems interesting how the line has been blurred on this issue, I mean Draco always refers to Hermione as the 'mudblood', but never picks on Harry on this issue. In fact the only person I can think of who picked on him as being non pure blood was Bellatrix, right
*shrugs*
Η ζωή, η ζωή εδω τελειώνει!
"Science is one cold-hearted bitch with a 14" strap-on" - Masuka 'Dexter'
"Angela is not the woman you think she is Gabriel, she's done terrible things"
"So have I, and I'm going to do them all to you." - Sylar to Arthur 'Heroes'
And guess who he stole the Snitch from?Crown wrote:Ahh yes, but it was the 'playing with the snitch' that stuck in my mind more, honestly.
Well, yes, but I knew this already (sorry if I didn't make it clear). That's why Remus' half blood status doesn't affect my story in having both his parents wizards...Oh and just to add some more fuel to the fire about the halfblood/pureblood;
source
Love me?Mugglenet.com wrote:-snip-
"I fight with love, and I laugh with rage, you gotta live light enough to see the humour and long enough to see some change" - Ani DiFranco, Pick Yer Nose
"Life 's not a song, life isn't bliss, life is just this: it's living." - Spike, Once More with Feeling
"Life 's not a song, life isn't bliss, life is just this: it's living." - Spike, Once More with Feeling
<Hermione>Ooooh! Pick me! Pick me! I know, I know!</Hermione>InnerBrat wrote:And guess who he stole the Snitch from?Crown wrote:Ahh yes, but it was the 'playing with the snitch' that stuck in my mind more, honestly.
Niiiiice, tie in there!
Woot!Well, yes,Love me?
Η ζωή, η ζωή εδω τελειώνει!
"Science is one cold-hearted bitch with a 14" strap-on" - Masuka 'Dexter'
"Angela is not the woman you think she is Gabriel, she's done terrible things"
"So have I, and I'm going to do them all to you." - Sylar to Arthur 'Heroes'
Crown wrote:<Hermione>Ooooh! Pick me! Pick me! I know, I know!</Hermione>
"I fight with love, and I laugh with rage, you gotta live light enough to see the humour and long enough to see some change" - Ani DiFranco, Pick Yer Nose
"Life 's not a song, life isn't bliss, life is just this: it's living." - Spike, Once More with Feeling
"Life 's not a song, life isn't bliss, life is just this: it's living." - Spike, Once More with Feeling
<Feeling like a dumbass here>I don't get it ... </still feeling like a dumbass, despite closing the paranthesis>InnerBrat wrote:[img]<snip>[/img]Crown wrote:<Hermione>Ooooh! Pick me! Pick me! I know, I know!</Hermione>
Η ζωή, η ζωή εδω τελειώνει!
"Science is one cold-hearted bitch with a 14" strap-on" - Masuka 'Dexter'
"Angela is not the woman you think she is Gabriel, she's done terrible things"
"So have I, and I'm going to do them all to you." - Sylar to Arthur 'Heroes'
No, and no.
*batters eyelids in a cute like manner* Η ζωή, η ζωή εδω τελειώνει!
"Science is one cold-hearted bitch with a 14" strap-on" - Masuka 'Dexter'
"Angela is not the woman you think she is Gabriel, she's done terrible things"
"So have I, and I'm going to do them all to you." - Sylar to Arthur 'Heroes'
-
Ghost Rider
- Spirit of Vengeance
- Posts: 27779
- Joined: 2002-09-24 01:48pm
- Location: DC...looking up from the gutters to the stars
Go read it man...it's good for yaCrown wrote:No, and no.
.MM /CF/WG/BOTM/JL/Original Warsie/ACPATHNTDWATGODW FOREVER!!
Sometimes we can choose the path we follow. Sometimes our choices are made for us. And sometimes we have no choice at all
Saying and doing are chocolate and concrete
Sometimes we can choose the path we follow. Sometimes our choices are made for us. And sometimes we have no choice at all
Saying and doing are chocolate and concrete