Flawed Creature
Moderator: LadyTevar
Flawed Creature
Comments please. I feel like this will actually get itself off the ground. There is more on the way!
Act One
I
He was Lord Matthew Jonathan Isaac Portsmouth. While he still had to wait a few years for the title to become official – at 50 his father was still in good health - he was well liked enough for people to use the title out of respect. Even the parents of the ladies he chased would admit that despite his flirtatious ways, he never took his actions too far. Along with Geoffrey Paige, his inseparable friend, he was the face of the young nobility in the city. Those few galas that the two did not attend were agreed by all to be lacking some spirit. This being the case, the Count of Tunney was fortunate enough to have a very spirited party.
On this day Matthew was a tiger, stalking his prey through brightly coloured dresses and flamboyant capes. Finally he saw it: clustered near the punch bowl was a group of young ladies, for the moment out from under the watchful eyes of their parents. Nonchalantly, he walked past them, listening to their conversation as he poured himself some punch.
“Papa says Duke Eastlands will be in the city next week.”
“Eastlands? Didn’t he get married recently?”
“I heard that she was just a serving girl before he married her. Can you imagine?”
“Yes! So did I! Apparently she went mad and killed their son. That’s what happens when you give commoners noble responsibilities. The stress must have got to her.”
“Tch! Don’t say things like that. It’s just an ugly rumour.”
“Yes, Chantal. You should be ashamed. Have you been gossiping with the stable hands again?”
“Still,” said another girl, “you always hear strange stories about the Duke.”
The conversation paused for a moment and Matthew seized his chance. “Perhaps he’s a vampire. My father says he hasn’t aged in 50 years.”
The girls all stared at him wide-eyed. “Don’t say that kind of thing,” said Chantal, blushing. “You’ll scare us.”
“There’s no need to fear. I would protect any lady from the fury of such a beast… although the beauty of some may prove to be a distraction.” He bowed, his eyes fixed not on the simpering Chantal, but on the tanned girl next to her. “I have more grace than any monster. If you don’t believe me, perhaps I could prove it to you on the dance floor, Eliza.”
Eliza smiled. “I’ll take your word on it, my Lord. Perhaps Chantal would need more convincing than me.”
“As you say, Miss Eliza.” Matthew sighed inwardly as he led Chantal to the floor. He would have to work harder to woo Eliza. But not too hard, he reminded himself. You don’t want anyone thinking it’s serious – especially not her father. Almost half the young women in the city had caught his eye at some time or another and he had gained the favour of most of them. Only a few, like Eliza, ignored his overtures. He sighed again, trying to divine the best way to win Eliza as he danced with Chantal.
The dance ended and he bowed to his partner. He then quickly excused himself and headed towards his friend.
“Cut down again, I see,” said Geoffrey. “You’ve been going after her for three weeks now. That must be some kind of record for you. I hope you’re not planning to break the poor girl’s heart.”
“Of course not,” said Matthew. “She knows it’s a game.” I wouldn’t chase her if she didn’t.
“Chantal doesn’t.”
“Well, I’m not going after Chantal, am I?”
“You danced with her.”
“So? I didn’t want to. That was Eliza’s doing.”
“She likes you.”
“I don’t like her. She’s far too pale for my liking.”
“Pale skin is a sign of good breeding, you know.”
“That doesn’t mean I have to like it. Besides, she’s an idiot. Always giggling and blushing. And she’ll believe any rumour that comes her way, and she always spreads them. She’s got no decorum.”
“Did you hear that Duke Wulf is coming to the city?” Geoffrey changed the topic. “He’ll be here all winter. My father’s hosting a party in his honour next week.”
“You mean the Duke of the Eastlands? I’ve heard.”
“I wonder what his wife looks like.”
“Probably dowdy and unfashionable. The Eastlands have always lagged behind the western provinces.” Matthew dismissed her casually.
“I hope not. I don’t want to spend the evening entertaining a plain woman. Father says I have to keep her company because she’s not used to parties.”
“She’ll be here, even with the rumours?”
“You’ve heard them too?” Geoffrey looked worried. “We were hoping to keep them quiet. Do you think we can stop them from spreading? Who did you hear them from?”
“Chantal was sharing the worst of them.”
“Oh, dear God. Everyone knows.” Geoffrey looked stricken.
“Hey, cheer up. I’ll keep you company so you don’t have to be seen alone with her.”
“Even when Miss Eliza’s around?”
“Oh. I think I’m getting over her. Now do you see Julia Icarus there?” Matthew pointed towards a dark-skinned girl. “I think she’s been making eyes at me the whole time we’ve been talking.”
“Hmph,” said Geoffrey. “Your parents would never approve of her.”
“And her parents would never approve of me.” Matthew smiled. “It’s a perfect match. Now if you distract her mother, I’ll be able to sneak in a dance without her noticing.”
Geoffrey sighed, but went to talk to Lady Icarus anyway. He was certain that Matthew’s antics would get them both in trouble one day, but for the moment the worst they could get was a scolding. It would be fine so long as Matthew didn’t get too foolish an idea in his head. Good luck on that, he thought to himself. Good luck.
_____________________
Edit: thread title change and I removed the dashes that annoyed Kuja.
Edit 2: Oooh. Formatting. Now the story has "Acts".
Have a very nice day.
-Lusankya
Act One
I
He was Lord Matthew Jonathan Isaac Portsmouth. While he still had to wait a few years for the title to become official – at 50 his father was still in good health - he was well liked enough for people to use the title out of respect. Even the parents of the ladies he chased would admit that despite his flirtatious ways, he never took his actions too far. Along with Geoffrey Paige, his inseparable friend, he was the face of the young nobility in the city. Those few galas that the two did not attend were agreed by all to be lacking some spirit. This being the case, the Count of Tunney was fortunate enough to have a very spirited party.
On this day Matthew was a tiger, stalking his prey through brightly coloured dresses and flamboyant capes. Finally he saw it: clustered near the punch bowl was a group of young ladies, for the moment out from under the watchful eyes of their parents. Nonchalantly, he walked past them, listening to their conversation as he poured himself some punch.
“Papa says Duke Eastlands will be in the city next week.”
“Eastlands? Didn’t he get married recently?”
“I heard that she was just a serving girl before he married her. Can you imagine?”
“Yes! So did I! Apparently she went mad and killed their son. That’s what happens when you give commoners noble responsibilities. The stress must have got to her.”
“Tch! Don’t say things like that. It’s just an ugly rumour.”
“Yes, Chantal. You should be ashamed. Have you been gossiping with the stable hands again?”
“Still,” said another girl, “you always hear strange stories about the Duke.”
The conversation paused for a moment and Matthew seized his chance. “Perhaps he’s a vampire. My father says he hasn’t aged in 50 years.”
The girls all stared at him wide-eyed. “Don’t say that kind of thing,” said Chantal, blushing. “You’ll scare us.”
“There’s no need to fear. I would protect any lady from the fury of such a beast… although the beauty of some may prove to be a distraction.” He bowed, his eyes fixed not on the simpering Chantal, but on the tanned girl next to her. “I have more grace than any monster. If you don’t believe me, perhaps I could prove it to you on the dance floor, Eliza.”
Eliza smiled. “I’ll take your word on it, my Lord. Perhaps Chantal would need more convincing than me.”
“As you say, Miss Eliza.” Matthew sighed inwardly as he led Chantal to the floor. He would have to work harder to woo Eliza. But not too hard, he reminded himself. You don’t want anyone thinking it’s serious – especially not her father. Almost half the young women in the city had caught his eye at some time or another and he had gained the favour of most of them. Only a few, like Eliza, ignored his overtures. He sighed again, trying to divine the best way to win Eliza as he danced with Chantal.
The dance ended and he bowed to his partner. He then quickly excused himself and headed towards his friend.
“Cut down again, I see,” said Geoffrey. “You’ve been going after her for three weeks now. That must be some kind of record for you. I hope you’re not planning to break the poor girl’s heart.”
“Of course not,” said Matthew. “She knows it’s a game.” I wouldn’t chase her if she didn’t.
“Chantal doesn’t.”
“Well, I’m not going after Chantal, am I?”
“You danced with her.”
“So? I didn’t want to. That was Eliza’s doing.”
“She likes you.”
“I don’t like her. She’s far too pale for my liking.”
“Pale skin is a sign of good breeding, you know.”
“That doesn’t mean I have to like it. Besides, she’s an idiot. Always giggling and blushing. And she’ll believe any rumour that comes her way, and she always spreads them. She’s got no decorum.”
“Did you hear that Duke Wulf is coming to the city?” Geoffrey changed the topic. “He’ll be here all winter. My father’s hosting a party in his honour next week.”
“You mean the Duke of the Eastlands? I’ve heard.”
“I wonder what his wife looks like.”
“Probably dowdy and unfashionable. The Eastlands have always lagged behind the western provinces.” Matthew dismissed her casually.
“I hope not. I don’t want to spend the evening entertaining a plain woman. Father says I have to keep her company because she’s not used to parties.”
“She’ll be here, even with the rumours?”
“You’ve heard them too?” Geoffrey looked worried. “We were hoping to keep them quiet. Do you think we can stop them from spreading? Who did you hear them from?”
“Chantal was sharing the worst of them.”
“Oh, dear God. Everyone knows.” Geoffrey looked stricken.
“Hey, cheer up. I’ll keep you company so you don’t have to be seen alone with her.”
“Even when Miss Eliza’s around?”
“Oh. I think I’m getting over her. Now do you see Julia Icarus there?” Matthew pointed towards a dark-skinned girl. “I think she’s been making eyes at me the whole time we’ve been talking.”
“Hmph,” said Geoffrey. “Your parents would never approve of her.”
“And her parents would never approve of me.” Matthew smiled. “It’s a perfect match. Now if you distract her mother, I’ll be able to sneak in a dance without her noticing.”
Geoffrey sighed, but went to talk to Lady Icarus anyway. He was certain that Matthew’s antics would get them both in trouble one day, but for the moment the worst they could get was a scolding. It would be fine so long as Matthew didn’t get too foolish an idea in his head. Good luck on that, he thought to himself. Good luck.
_____________________
Edit: thread title change and I removed the dashes that annoyed Kuja.
Edit 2: Oooh. Formatting. Now the story has "Acts".
Have a very nice day.
-Lusankya
Last edited by Lusankya on 2005-06-11 05:24am, edited 3 times in total.
"I would say that the above post is off-topic, except that I'm not sure what the topic of this thread is, and I don't think anybody else is sure either."
- Darth Wong
Free Durian - Last updated 27 Dec
"Why does it look like you are in China or something?" - havokeff
- Darth Wong
Free Durian - Last updated 27 Dec
"Why does it look like you are in China or something?" - havokeff
Sorry. The dashes were because it was just a snippet of conversation. I could get rid of them.
"I would say that the above post is off-topic, except that I'm not sure what the topic of this thread is, and I don't think anybody else is sure either."
- Darth Wong
Free Durian - Last updated 27 Dec
"Why does it look like you are in China or something?" - havokeff
- Darth Wong
Free Durian - Last updated 27 Dec
"Why does it look like you are in China or something?" - havokeff
Ok here's the second chapter. Aren't I wonderful! Two chapters in two nights!
The story develops.... once again, comments please. I like comments they make me feel as though someone's reading my story.
II
Matthew arrived at the party early to find himself the only person – aside from servants – present with the earl – Geoffrey Paige senior – and Duke Wulf. This did not surprise him much. The time for the party had been set for an hour later, and most fashionable people did not arrive early, but he had hoped that he would be able to see Geoffrey.
“Have you met Lord Portsmouth’s son, Matthew?” the earl asked the duke. “He’s a good friend of my own son.”
“Not as yet.” The duke turned to Matthew. “I am very pleased to make your acquaintance.” The formality, reminiscent of an earlier time, flowed naturally from his lips as he met Matthew’s gaze. His eyes were a faded blue, almost as pale as his firm white skin.
My father met him when he was a boy, but he looks as though he’s barely forty. Matthew wondered at the duke’s appearance as they shook hands. “I’m also pleased to meet you, your Grace. When did you arrive in the city?”
“My wife and I arrived yesterday morning,” said the duke. “Unfortunately our house was not yet prepared for our arrival, but Earl Paige has been gracious enough to host us for the next few weeks.”
“Geoff said he would escort the duchess to the ballroom this evening. He shouldn’t be long.”
Matthew thanked the earl and said that he would wait. The small talk continued for a time. Geoffrey kept quiet, answering questions asked, but otherwise letting his seniors speak. Little held the duke’s attention for long. Seemingly there were very few topics that interested him. He would dismiss history with a wave of his hand; any talk of the latest science would only make him raise one thin eyebrow. Recent news that had not yet had time to reach the Eastlands gained the most attention, but even then he was dismissive, as though he had heard it, or something similar, before.
The earliest guests had begun to arrive when a small woman came down the stairs, alone. She looked thin and pale, unhealthily so, but as she walked she managed to command Duke Wulf’s attention like nothing else had so far that evening. He did not take his eyes off of her for one second as she descended and as he watched, Matthew noticed the Duke lick his lips. He hungers for her, Matthew thought. She must be his wife. Where’s Geoff?
As she neared, the lady smiled and for one brief moment she met Matthew’s eyes. Why so sad? he thought. He was used to seeing empty smiles – the court was full of fake laughter and hidden emotions – but he had never seen a smile hide such deep emotion. Nor, he admitted, was he used to seeing such a beautiful face. Matthew understood the duke’s hunger now. Despite her unnaturally pale skin, the duchess was stunning.
“Lucinda,” said the duke, clasping his lady’s shoulders and kissing her gently. “The blue suits you.” Matthew studied her dress in surprise as he realised that it was not black as he first thought, but a deep blue. The satin shimmered in the light and sequins sewn into the material glistened like stars, making her look like a goddess of the night. She wears it well. She’s no commoner.
“Your Grace,” Earl Paige bowed. “You are a sight to behold, although it seems that my son is not with you. You must forgive me for his manners.”
“It’s alright,” said Lucinda – the name suited her more than any title, Matthew thought – “Your son was feeling ill, and I suggested he rest.” The duke’s eyes narrowed at that statement.
“I hope he’s alright,” the duke said.
“He’ll be fine.” Lucinda smiled at her husband. Husband! Matthew riled at the thought. The duke may look young, but he’s older than my father! He tried to suppress the sudden rush of jealousy.
“Still,” said the earl, “This is your first ball. He should be here to entertain you. I will not have my family show poor hospitality.”
“I’ll keep her company.” The words blurted out of Matthew’s mouth too quickly for propriety.
“Pardon?” The duke was polite, as ever, as all three looked at Matthew questioningly. It seemed he spoke too quickly even to be understood.
“I said I would keep her company.” Matthew said, more slowly this time. “Our families are close enough that no one will comment.”
The earl pondered for a moment. “By your leave?” he bowed his head to Duke Wulf. The duke nodded. “I accept your offer then, Lord Matthew. May I formally introduce you to Her Grace, Duchess Lucinda of the Eastlands.” He turned from Matthew to Lucinda, “Your Grace: this is Lord Matthew Portsmouth, son of Hayden Portsmouth.”
“It is an honour to meet you, Your Grace.” Matthew bowed and took one hand, warm and throbbing with life, and brushed his lips against it. He was no stranger to the game of love, but that brief touch, normally no more than a courtesy, excited him more than any passionate kiss. She’s out of your reach, he told himself. She’s already married.
Yes, replied some traitorous part of his mind. But she’s not happy. You can change that.
* * *
“I know the rumours.” Matthew was surprised to hear the lady by his side mention them. Throughout the evening he had been careful to shield her from any mention of the foul gossip that had preceded her arrival. “We thought that if I remained behind, people would take that as proof they were true… so I came.”
“Are they true? I mean, the one about your son. That’s the only one that matters.” Matthew cursed himself for his tactlessness. Still, he reminded himself, she’s the one who brought it up.
Lucinda looked out into the distance, resting her hands on the balcony where they stood, secluded for the moment. “I… am unable to have children.”
“But, the duke and you… what will you do?” A noble needs heirs. Matthew struggled with the concept of a childless family. Who will inherit the estate when age catches up with him?
“We will live. As well as we can, for as long as we can.” Lucinda sighed. “What else is left for the likes of us?”
“I don’t know. I don’t know.” Matthew gazed at the night, stealing glances at the woman besides him. He understood the sadness within her a little better now, he thought. And it’s not the duke’s fault, cursed the jealous part of him that he had tried to hide. He studied Lucinda carefully. Perhaps there was something else hidden there inside her; another sorrow that he could put right. The moonlight made her skin look white, paler even than it was before. Her hand trembled…
Matthew quickly reached out and caught Lucinda as she staggered. “Your skin’s ice cold,” he said. “Are you alright?”
Lucinda regained her balance, holding the balcony with both hands for support. “I’m fine. I’m just a little hungry. I only had a small snack before I came down this evening.”
“Then you should eat.”
“Not now. My husband and I dine privately.”
“Can’t you still eat now? There’s a buffet.”
“No. It’s our habit to dine alone. Besides, you would be shocked at our Eastern table manners.”
“I doubt so. I would love to dine with you.” Be quiet, his mind told him. She’s a married woman. It’s not her father you’ll have to deal with if you’re found out. It will be her husband after your head.
“No. I can’t.” Lucinda turned from the balcony. “Let’s go back inside. I’m feeling better.” She began to walk slowly yet steadily inside.
Matthew went in after the duchess. She’s hiding something. There’s a part of her that needs help. If I can provide it, then I will.
______________________________
Have a very nice day
-Lusankya
The story develops.... once again, comments please. I like comments they make me feel as though someone's reading my story.
II
Matthew arrived at the party early to find himself the only person – aside from servants – present with the earl – Geoffrey Paige senior – and Duke Wulf. This did not surprise him much. The time for the party had been set for an hour later, and most fashionable people did not arrive early, but he had hoped that he would be able to see Geoffrey.
“Have you met Lord Portsmouth’s son, Matthew?” the earl asked the duke. “He’s a good friend of my own son.”
“Not as yet.” The duke turned to Matthew. “I am very pleased to make your acquaintance.” The formality, reminiscent of an earlier time, flowed naturally from his lips as he met Matthew’s gaze. His eyes were a faded blue, almost as pale as his firm white skin.
My father met him when he was a boy, but he looks as though he’s barely forty. Matthew wondered at the duke’s appearance as they shook hands. “I’m also pleased to meet you, your Grace. When did you arrive in the city?”
“My wife and I arrived yesterday morning,” said the duke. “Unfortunately our house was not yet prepared for our arrival, but Earl Paige has been gracious enough to host us for the next few weeks.”
“Geoff said he would escort the duchess to the ballroom this evening. He shouldn’t be long.”
Matthew thanked the earl and said that he would wait. The small talk continued for a time. Geoffrey kept quiet, answering questions asked, but otherwise letting his seniors speak. Little held the duke’s attention for long. Seemingly there were very few topics that interested him. He would dismiss history with a wave of his hand; any talk of the latest science would only make him raise one thin eyebrow. Recent news that had not yet had time to reach the Eastlands gained the most attention, but even then he was dismissive, as though he had heard it, or something similar, before.
The earliest guests had begun to arrive when a small woman came down the stairs, alone. She looked thin and pale, unhealthily so, but as she walked she managed to command Duke Wulf’s attention like nothing else had so far that evening. He did not take his eyes off of her for one second as she descended and as he watched, Matthew noticed the Duke lick his lips. He hungers for her, Matthew thought. She must be his wife. Where’s Geoff?
As she neared, the lady smiled and for one brief moment she met Matthew’s eyes. Why so sad? he thought. He was used to seeing empty smiles – the court was full of fake laughter and hidden emotions – but he had never seen a smile hide such deep emotion. Nor, he admitted, was he used to seeing such a beautiful face. Matthew understood the duke’s hunger now. Despite her unnaturally pale skin, the duchess was stunning.
“Lucinda,” said the duke, clasping his lady’s shoulders and kissing her gently. “The blue suits you.” Matthew studied her dress in surprise as he realised that it was not black as he first thought, but a deep blue. The satin shimmered in the light and sequins sewn into the material glistened like stars, making her look like a goddess of the night. She wears it well. She’s no commoner.
“Your Grace,” Earl Paige bowed. “You are a sight to behold, although it seems that my son is not with you. You must forgive me for his manners.”
“It’s alright,” said Lucinda – the name suited her more than any title, Matthew thought – “Your son was feeling ill, and I suggested he rest.” The duke’s eyes narrowed at that statement.
“I hope he’s alright,” the duke said.
“He’ll be fine.” Lucinda smiled at her husband. Husband! Matthew riled at the thought. The duke may look young, but he’s older than my father! He tried to suppress the sudden rush of jealousy.
“Still,” said the earl, “This is your first ball. He should be here to entertain you. I will not have my family show poor hospitality.”
“I’ll keep her company.” The words blurted out of Matthew’s mouth too quickly for propriety.
“Pardon?” The duke was polite, as ever, as all three looked at Matthew questioningly. It seemed he spoke too quickly even to be understood.
“I said I would keep her company.” Matthew said, more slowly this time. “Our families are close enough that no one will comment.”
The earl pondered for a moment. “By your leave?” he bowed his head to Duke Wulf. The duke nodded. “I accept your offer then, Lord Matthew. May I formally introduce you to Her Grace, Duchess Lucinda of the Eastlands.” He turned from Matthew to Lucinda, “Your Grace: this is Lord Matthew Portsmouth, son of Hayden Portsmouth.”
“It is an honour to meet you, Your Grace.” Matthew bowed and took one hand, warm and throbbing with life, and brushed his lips against it. He was no stranger to the game of love, but that brief touch, normally no more than a courtesy, excited him more than any passionate kiss. She’s out of your reach, he told himself. She’s already married.
Yes, replied some traitorous part of his mind. But she’s not happy. You can change that.
* * *
“I know the rumours.” Matthew was surprised to hear the lady by his side mention them. Throughout the evening he had been careful to shield her from any mention of the foul gossip that had preceded her arrival. “We thought that if I remained behind, people would take that as proof they were true… so I came.”
“Are they true? I mean, the one about your son. That’s the only one that matters.” Matthew cursed himself for his tactlessness. Still, he reminded himself, she’s the one who brought it up.
Lucinda looked out into the distance, resting her hands on the balcony where they stood, secluded for the moment. “I… am unable to have children.”
“But, the duke and you… what will you do?” A noble needs heirs. Matthew struggled with the concept of a childless family. Who will inherit the estate when age catches up with him?
“We will live. As well as we can, for as long as we can.” Lucinda sighed. “What else is left for the likes of us?”
“I don’t know. I don’t know.” Matthew gazed at the night, stealing glances at the woman besides him. He understood the sadness within her a little better now, he thought. And it’s not the duke’s fault, cursed the jealous part of him that he had tried to hide. He studied Lucinda carefully. Perhaps there was something else hidden there inside her; another sorrow that he could put right. The moonlight made her skin look white, paler even than it was before. Her hand trembled…
Matthew quickly reached out and caught Lucinda as she staggered. “Your skin’s ice cold,” he said. “Are you alright?”
Lucinda regained her balance, holding the balcony with both hands for support. “I’m fine. I’m just a little hungry. I only had a small snack before I came down this evening.”
“Then you should eat.”
“Not now. My husband and I dine privately.”
“Can’t you still eat now? There’s a buffet.”
“No. It’s our habit to dine alone. Besides, you would be shocked at our Eastern table manners.”
“I doubt so. I would love to dine with you.” Be quiet, his mind told him. She’s a married woman. It’s not her father you’ll have to deal with if you’re found out. It will be her husband after your head.
“No. I can’t.” Lucinda turned from the balcony. “Let’s go back inside. I’m feeling better.” She began to walk slowly yet steadily inside.
Matthew went in after the duchess. She’s hiding something. There’s a part of her that needs help. If I can provide it, then I will.
______________________________
Have a very nice day
-Lusankya
Last edited by Lusankya on 2005-01-05 07:50am, edited 1 time in total.
"I would say that the above post is off-topic, except that I'm not sure what the topic of this thread is, and I don't think anybody else is sure either."
- Darth Wong
Free Durian - Last updated 27 Dec
"Why does it look like you are in China or something?" - havokeff
- Darth Wong
Free Durian - Last updated 27 Dec
"Why does it look like you are in China or something?" - havokeff
You'll see.Ace Pace wrote:Nice, Nice, I like this, but where is this going, and how do vampires get into this
*looks mysterious*
In the meantime, get lots of people to read it! lots and lots! I want feedback!
*chants*
I want feedback! I want feedback! I want feedback!
"I would say that the above post is off-topic, except that I'm not sure what the topic of this thread is, and I don't think anybody else is sure either."
- Darth Wong
Free Durian - Last updated 27 Dec
"Why does it look like you are in China or something?" - havokeff
- Darth Wong
Free Durian - Last updated 27 Dec
"Why does it look like you are in China or something?" - havokeff
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- Emperor's Hand
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I like it. Very good lead in for things to come. Though isn't 'Your Grace' a title reserved for Church officials? I may be wrong.
Writer's Guild 'Ghost in the Machine'/Decepticon 'Devastator'/BOTM 'Space Ape'/Justice League 'The Tick'
"The best part of 'believe' is the lie."
It's always the quiet ones.
"The best part of 'believe' is the lie."
It's always the quiet ones.
You're wrong. Dukes are addressed as "Your Grace".Mark S wrote:I like it. Very good lead in for things to come. Though isn't 'Your Grace' a title reserved for Church officials? I may be wrong.
![Image](http://bbs.stardestroyer.net/download/file.php?avatar=16.gif)
Me: Nope, that's why I have you around to tell me.
Nitram: You -are- beautiful. Anyone tries to tell you otherwise kill them.
"A life is like a garden. Perfect moments can be had, but not preserved, except in memory. LLAP" -- Leonard Nimoy, last Tweet
Righty-ho. Here's chapter three. It's quite short, but that doesn't mean it's any less important than some of the longer chapters.
I'm a bit worried that the dialogue might be a bit clunky in the second section. Maybe I'll fix it later, but if you guys think it's fine, then it's fine. My dad has a saying, "perfection is the enemy of good."
I've also changed the format for the chapter headings from "Chapter (number)" to roman numerals. I think it suits the short chapters better.
III
Overnight, the snows had finally come. As Matthew’s carriage made its way towards the gates of the Paige mansion he saw two servants removing the stiff body of a homeless man.
“The cold must have caught him last night,” one servant called.
“Yes, but I still don’t see how he got into the garden. It’s a bad omen.” The other made the sign against evil.
“He was probably just looking for somewhere warm to sleep.” The first servant dismissed the other’s superstition. “Come on, let’s get rid of him.”
The two servants stood aside as Matthew passed through the gates. Fascinated, he looked out of the window at the body. Noticing something, he called for the carriage to stop.
“He doesn’t have the pox, does he?” he asked.
“No. Why do you ask?”
“Look at those welts,” he said, pointing to the corpse’s neck. Two red marks stood out against the deathly white skin.
“Oh, them.” The servants looked relieved. “They’re just bite marks.”
“We think he must have had a run in with a stray dog. He has them all down his arm.”
Matthew nodded. “That’s good then.” The pox had come two years before, taking his older brother and two sisters. He wouldn’t lose anyone else he cared about this year.
* * *
“I hear you fulfilled my duties last night.” A pale Geoffrey sat by the fire in his chambers. A scarf was wrapped around his neck and he was shivering, despite the warmth in the room. “You must have been upset to miss the party.”
“No. I enjoyed myself. She’s a fascinating woman. How are you feeling?”
“Tired.” Geoffrey laughed weakly. “I feel like the essence has just been sucked out of me.”
“Do you know what’s wrong?”
“I don’t remember.” Geoffrey narrowed his eyes in thought. “There was something last night… I blacked out. Father blames the duke for some reason. He asked him to leave this morning.”
“Why does he blame the duke?” Matthew thought back to the previous night. Did the duke care about anything enough to deliberately harm his hosts? Then he recalled Lucinda. He might do it for her. But why would he harm Geoffrey?
“I don’t know. He was angry though.”
There was a knock on the door. “Come in,” Geoffrey called. Earl Paige entered, followed by a priest wearing the black frock of an exorcist. The earl looked bleak. The exorcist evidently had come for a reason.
“Will you please give us some privacy,” the earl commanded, barely looking at Matthew.
“What’s wrong –” Matthew began to ask.
“I asked you to give us some privacy.” There was fear, not anger, in that abrupt statement. Matthew bowed and made his leave, wondering what could have happened to his friend that he needed an exorcist to be cured.
______________
Have a very nice day.
-Lusankya
I'm a bit worried that the dialogue might be a bit clunky in the second section. Maybe I'll fix it later, but if you guys think it's fine, then it's fine. My dad has a saying, "perfection is the enemy of good."
I've also changed the format for the chapter headings from "Chapter (number)" to roman numerals. I think it suits the short chapters better.
III
Overnight, the snows had finally come. As Matthew’s carriage made its way towards the gates of the Paige mansion he saw two servants removing the stiff body of a homeless man.
“The cold must have caught him last night,” one servant called.
“Yes, but I still don’t see how he got into the garden. It’s a bad omen.” The other made the sign against evil.
“He was probably just looking for somewhere warm to sleep.” The first servant dismissed the other’s superstition. “Come on, let’s get rid of him.”
The two servants stood aside as Matthew passed through the gates. Fascinated, he looked out of the window at the body. Noticing something, he called for the carriage to stop.
“He doesn’t have the pox, does he?” he asked.
“No. Why do you ask?”
“Look at those welts,” he said, pointing to the corpse’s neck. Two red marks stood out against the deathly white skin.
“Oh, them.” The servants looked relieved. “They’re just bite marks.”
“We think he must have had a run in with a stray dog. He has them all down his arm.”
Matthew nodded. “That’s good then.” The pox had come two years before, taking his older brother and two sisters. He wouldn’t lose anyone else he cared about this year.
* * *
“I hear you fulfilled my duties last night.” A pale Geoffrey sat by the fire in his chambers. A scarf was wrapped around his neck and he was shivering, despite the warmth in the room. “You must have been upset to miss the party.”
“No. I enjoyed myself. She’s a fascinating woman. How are you feeling?”
“Tired.” Geoffrey laughed weakly. “I feel like the essence has just been sucked out of me.”
“Do you know what’s wrong?”
“I don’t remember.” Geoffrey narrowed his eyes in thought. “There was something last night… I blacked out. Father blames the duke for some reason. He asked him to leave this morning.”
“Why does he blame the duke?” Matthew thought back to the previous night. Did the duke care about anything enough to deliberately harm his hosts? Then he recalled Lucinda. He might do it for her. But why would he harm Geoffrey?
“I don’t know. He was angry though.”
There was a knock on the door. “Come in,” Geoffrey called. Earl Paige entered, followed by a priest wearing the black frock of an exorcist. The earl looked bleak. The exorcist evidently had come for a reason.
“Will you please give us some privacy,” the earl commanded, barely looking at Matthew.
“What’s wrong –” Matthew began to ask.
“I asked you to give us some privacy.” There was fear, not anger, in that abrupt statement. Matthew bowed and made his leave, wondering what could have happened to his friend that he needed an exorcist to be cured.
______________
Have a very nice day.
-Lusankya
"I would say that the above post is off-topic, except that I'm not sure what the topic of this thread is, and I don't think anybody else is sure either."
- Darth Wong
Free Durian - Last updated 27 Dec
"Why does it look like you are in China or something?" - havokeff
- Darth Wong
Free Durian - Last updated 27 Dec
"Why does it look like you are in China or something?" - havokeff
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- Emperor's Hand
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Very well done, in the manner of the better Gothic stories you're keeping the hero in the dark and only dropping hints to your readers. Bravo. ![Very Happy :D](./images/smilies/icon_biggrin.gif)
![Very Happy :D](./images/smilies/icon_biggrin.gif)
![Image](http://bbs.stardestroyer.net/download/file.php?avatar=16.gif)
Me: Nope, that's why I have you around to tell me.
Nitram: You -are- beautiful. Anyone tries to tell you otherwise kill them.
"A life is like a garden. Perfect moments can be had, but not preserved, except in memory. LLAP" -- Leonard Nimoy, last Tweet
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- Pathetic Attention Whore
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So here's chapter IV... There's a short story as to while it's so late. You see, first of all, I got moved into the laundry for a while at work, and you might not realise this, but menial labour renders one BRAINDEAD. Quite literally, too. And then I had to organise my uni enrolment, while at the same time moving house... it's been hectic.
In any case, this chapter is longer than the last one (about 3 times longer, in fact), so I haven't been completely wasting my time.
Here you go, enjoy. And remember, I like feedback, so please, comment! Even if it's just a quick "gee, this is good, get the next chapter up pronto!" or even a "this is crap. I hate it. you smell." Just respond, please!
IV
“What’s the boy doing here?” Two figures stood at an open window of the town house, looking over the shadowed street. The taller one narrowed his eyebrows in disapproval.
“I invited him.”
“Don’t make another mistake like you did at the earl’s place. It cost a lot to keep us safe. He may still turn us in.”
“I won’t. I promise.”
“Good. I’ll be watching.”
* * *
Matthew looked up at the duke’s town house. The design was an old one, and most people would have replaced the dated structure with a more modern house. He wondered why the duke had not done so already. He could certainly afford to.
Two figures were silhouetted against the light of the only large window facing the street. Matthew recognised the smaller one as the duchess and assumed that the larger one was her husband. They stood close together – too close, really, to be proper. Is he kissing her neck? Right where everyone can see him? Two heads rose, and for an instant Matthew could see two white faces staring down at him before both figures left the window.
Matthew shrugged and knocked on the door. The duke’s private life wasn’t any of his business.
Inside, the duchess was waiting for him, a slight flush to her cheeks. “Good evening, Your Grace,” Matthew took her hand, bowed and kissed her fingers, feeling that same shock that he had felt the evening before. Forget about it, he told himself. You saw how she was with her husband.
“So formal, Matthew?” Lucinda laughed. “You don’t have to greet me like that when we’re in private.”
“But I enjoy it,” Matthew said, thinking of the feelings that raced through his body as he touched her hand.
“Truthfully, it makes me feel a bit uncomfortable. I didn’t grow up in the court, and it seems a little… strange. It feels unnatural. ”
“But I enjoy it,” Matthew insisted, quickly thinking of the ways he could convince her to allow him this one, small, physical contact. “It’s second nature to me.”
With that, he swept into another bow, taking her hand again, and in his excitement, he didn’t notice the almost-suppressed shiver that shook her small frame.
* * *
Matthew couldn’t understand it. Lucinda had invited him to visit, but she had spent the entire evening distant. What did I do wrong? Yesterday, at the party, she had been friendly, if somewhat withdrawn, but now she wouldn’t look at him. She would flinch away at his slightest movement towards her. She was beginning to look pale again, too. It was amazing how quickly her skin tone could change.
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
“Nothing.” Lucinda brushed away his concern. “I’m just distracted. It’s all so new here. There are so many things that I didn’t learn.”
She’s lying, was Matthew’s immediate thought. But what would she be lying about? He paused for a moment before replying. “What did you want to learn?” Hopefully she’ll open up.
“I don’t know. I just don’t feel comfortable. The dances here seem so fake and I don’t even know the steps. Everything seems like some ritual. Everyone’s polite, but I’m not sure if they really mean it.”
“I don’t understand.” Did he seem fake? Did she think he was lying? Matthew wondered at her meaning. “I can teach you how to dance, if that’s bothering you.” It seemed like such a pathetic offer, but what else could he do?
“You don’t understand. It’s not that.” Lucinda sighed. “I’m just so lonely. I don’t fit in.”
She looked so delicate, so lost, that Matthew barely thought before he found himself saying, “I’ll always be your friend. I promise.” Friends? It wasn’t what he wanted. How could she be married to him? She was so young, and the Duke, regardless of his appearance, was older than his grandfather. But friends was the best he could do for now. for now. Perhaps one day she would be widowed… Matthew quickly dismissed the uncharitable thought. The church taught that such wishes would rebound on the one who made them. He turned his attention back to Lucinda.
“Really? Friends? You promise?” She seemed surprised by his offer, as though it was too good to be true.
“I promise. I’ll be your friend, no matter what.”
With that affirmation, the walls she had put up earlier that evening seemed to collapse. “Thankyou,” she said. “Thankyou.” She began to tremble – with gratitude, Matthew thought.
As a friend, I wouldn’t be out of place giving her a hug, Matthew suddenly thought. He reached out and embraced her, mildly surprised when she hugged him back. She was still trembling, and impetuously, he kissed her forehead. It was strange how cold her skin felt against his lips. Perhaps it was he who was hot.
He felt Lucinda’s head tilt up; felt her tongue lick his neck. Be careful, a voice in his head told him. She’s another man’s wife. He almost ignored it, but a movement in the corner of his eye caught his attention. He turned and looked towards it. How did the duke get in here? In a moment of terror, he pushed Lucinda away, afraid that her husband knew what they were doing. Of course he knew what we were doing, he thought. He saw us, didn’t he?
“What are you doing?” The duke’s voice was edged in anger. Matthew started to stammer out an excuse, but the duke’s eyes were fixed on Lucinda. She looked back at him, still trembling, her eyes wild.
“I asked what you were doing with this boy,” the duke demanded of his wife again.
“I’m just…” Lucinda licked her lips and looked at Matthew. Just what? Matthew didn’t understand, but the duke did.
“Again? How could you be? You’re just greedy.
Matthew hung back, glad in a way that the duke’s anger seemed focused on Lucinda and not on him. She was still trembling, and looked pale like she had the night before, when she fainted.
As if thinking it had made it be, Lucinda suddenly collapsed. The duke caught her with startlingly quick reflexes, his anger gone in an instant. “Oh, honey,” Matthew heard him whisper. He cradled her close to him and looked up at Matthew. “I think it’s best you go home now, boy,” he said.
* * *
Two priests walked down the road.
“Halt!” called one as he saw the carriage. As he came up, the faint moonlight showed him to be the exorcist who had seen Geoffrey earlier. Behind him stood an acolyte, nervously clutching his cross in one hand and a wooden stake in the other.
“Ah. Young Lord Portsmouth,” said the exorcist. “You should be careful on the roads this late. There is a vampire loose in the city.”
“A vampire?” Matthew bit his lower lip in thought. Weren’t vampires just legends?
“I’m surprised you hadn’t heard. It attacked your friend, Master Paige.”
“I knew he was ill… is he ok?”
“He is recovering from the wound, but we still haven’t exorcised the demon.”
“The demon?” Matthew knew little of vampires, and had never heard of them in relation to demons.
“When a vampire bites its victim,” the exorcist explained, “it drinks the victims blood, and also infuses them with demonic essence. The essence can either be removed through treatment and prayer, or by killing the vampire who bit them. The treatment is unreliable, however, and your friend did not respond today. Of course, even if the treatment had worked, we would still be searching for the vampire. We can’t let demons run loose in the city.”
“What if you don’t find it?” While he was infected with a demon, Geoffrey would not be allowed to enter holy grounds. If he died while infected, his body would have to be buried outside of the church grounds, and his soul consigned to hell.
“There’s always hope that the treatment will work the next time we try it.”
“May I visit him?”
“Certainly.” The priest nodded. “Firm friends may help him to fight the demon if we cannot find the vampire.”
“Thankyou, Father. I will pray for him tonight.”
“You do that, my son.” The priest made the sign of the cross over Matthew. “Take care, and may God protect you on your journey home. May he bless you and keep you safe. Amen.”
As the carriage continued to make its way through dark streets, Matthew whispered the priest’s prayer to himself.
“… Amen.”
In any case, this chapter is longer than the last one (about 3 times longer, in fact), so I haven't been completely wasting my time.
Here you go, enjoy. And remember, I like feedback, so please, comment! Even if it's just a quick "gee, this is good, get the next chapter up pronto!" or even a "this is crap. I hate it. you smell." Just respond, please!
IV
“What’s the boy doing here?” Two figures stood at an open window of the town house, looking over the shadowed street. The taller one narrowed his eyebrows in disapproval.
“I invited him.”
“Don’t make another mistake like you did at the earl’s place. It cost a lot to keep us safe. He may still turn us in.”
“I won’t. I promise.”
“Good. I’ll be watching.”
* * *
Matthew looked up at the duke’s town house. The design was an old one, and most people would have replaced the dated structure with a more modern house. He wondered why the duke had not done so already. He could certainly afford to.
Two figures were silhouetted against the light of the only large window facing the street. Matthew recognised the smaller one as the duchess and assumed that the larger one was her husband. They stood close together – too close, really, to be proper. Is he kissing her neck? Right where everyone can see him? Two heads rose, and for an instant Matthew could see two white faces staring down at him before both figures left the window.
Matthew shrugged and knocked on the door. The duke’s private life wasn’t any of his business.
Inside, the duchess was waiting for him, a slight flush to her cheeks. “Good evening, Your Grace,” Matthew took her hand, bowed and kissed her fingers, feeling that same shock that he had felt the evening before. Forget about it, he told himself. You saw how she was with her husband.
“So formal, Matthew?” Lucinda laughed. “You don’t have to greet me like that when we’re in private.”
“But I enjoy it,” Matthew said, thinking of the feelings that raced through his body as he touched her hand.
“Truthfully, it makes me feel a bit uncomfortable. I didn’t grow up in the court, and it seems a little… strange. It feels unnatural. ”
“But I enjoy it,” Matthew insisted, quickly thinking of the ways he could convince her to allow him this one, small, physical contact. “It’s second nature to me.”
With that, he swept into another bow, taking her hand again, and in his excitement, he didn’t notice the almost-suppressed shiver that shook her small frame.
* * *
Matthew couldn’t understand it. Lucinda had invited him to visit, but she had spent the entire evening distant. What did I do wrong? Yesterday, at the party, she had been friendly, if somewhat withdrawn, but now she wouldn’t look at him. She would flinch away at his slightest movement towards her. She was beginning to look pale again, too. It was amazing how quickly her skin tone could change.
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
“Nothing.” Lucinda brushed away his concern. “I’m just distracted. It’s all so new here. There are so many things that I didn’t learn.”
She’s lying, was Matthew’s immediate thought. But what would she be lying about? He paused for a moment before replying. “What did you want to learn?” Hopefully she’ll open up.
“I don’t know. I just don’t feel comfortable. The dances here seem so fake and I don’t even know the steps. Everything seems like some ritual. Everyone’s polite, but I’m not sure if they really mean it.”
“I don’t understand.” Did he seem fake? Did she think he was lying? Matthew wondered at her meaning. “I can teach you how to dance, if that’s bothering you.” It seemed like such a pathetic offer, but what else could he do?
“You don’t understand. It’s not that.” Lucinda sighed. “I’m just so lonely. I don’t fit in.”
She looked so delicate, so lost, that Matthew barely thought before he found himself saying, “I’ll always be your friend. I promise.” Friends? It wasn’t what he wanted. How could she be married to him? She was so young, and the Duke, regardless of his appearance, was older than his grandfather. But friends was the best he could do for now. for now. Perhaps one day she would be widowed… Matthew quickly dismissed the uncharitable thought. The church taught that such wishes would rebound on the one who made them. He turned his attention back to Lucinda.
“Really? Friends? You promise?” She seemed surprised by his offer, as though it was too good to be true.
“I promise. I’ll be your friend, no matter what.”
With that affirmation, the walls she had put up earlier that evening seemed to collapse. “Thankyou,” she said. “Thankyou.” She began to tremble – with gratitude, Matthew thought.
As a friend, I wouldn’t be out of place giving her a hug, Matthew suddenly thought. He reached out and embraced her, mildly surprised when she hugged him back. She was still trembling, and impetuously, he kissed her forehead. It was strange how cold her skin felt against his lips. Perhaps it was he who was hot.
He felt Lucinda’s head tilt up; felt her tongue lick his neck. Be careful, a voice in his head told him. She’s another man’s wife. He almost ignored it, but a movement in the corner of his eye caught his attention. He turned and looked towards it. How did the duke get in here? In a moment of terror, he pushed Lucinda away, afraid that her husband knew what they were doing. Of course he knew what we were doing, he thought. He saw us, didn’t he?
“What are you doing?” The duke’s voice was edged in anger. Matthew started to stammer out an excuse, but the duke’s eyes were fixed on Lucinda. She looked back at him, still trembling, her eyes wild.
“I asked what you were doing with this boy,” the duke demanded of his wife again.
“I’m just…” Lucinda licked her lips and looked at Matthew. Just what? Matthew didn’t understand, but the duke did.
“Again? How could you be? You’re just greedy.
Matthew hung back, glad in a way that the duke’s anger seemed focused on Lucinda and not on him. She was still trembling, and looked pale like she had the night before, when she fainted.
As if thinking it had made it be, Lucinda suddenly collapsed. The duke caught her with startlingly quick reflexes, his anger gone in an instant. “Oh, honey,” Matthew heard him whisper. He cradled her close to him and looked up at Matthew. “I think it’s best you go home now, boy,” he said.
* * *
Two priests walked down the road.
“Halt!” called one as he saw the carriage. As he came up, the faint moonlight showed him to be the exorcist who had seen Geoffrey earlier. Behind him stood an acolyte, nervously clutching his cross in one hand and a wooden stake in the other.
“Ah. Young Lord Portsmouth,” said the exorcist. “You should be careful on the roads this late. There is a vampire loose in the city.”
“A vampire?” Matthew bit his lower lip in thought. Weren’t vampires just legends?
“I’m surprised you hadn’t heard. It attacked your friend, Master Paige.”
“I knew he was ill… is he ok?”
“He is recovering from the wound, but we still haven’t exorcised the demon.”
“The demon?” Matthew knew little of vampires, and had never heard of them in relation to demons.
“When a vampire bites its victim,” the exorcist explained, “it drinks the victims blood, and also infuses them with demonic essence. The essence can either be removed through treatment and prayer, or by killing the vampire who bit them. The treatment is unreliable, however, and your friend did not respond today. Of course, even if the treatment had worked, we would still be searching for the vampire. We can’t let demons run loose in the city.”
“What if you don’t find it?” While he was infected with a demon, Geoffrey would not be allowed to enter holy grounds. If he died while infected, his body would have to be buried outside of the church grounds, and his soul consigned to hell.
“There’s always hope that the treatment will work the next time we try it.”
“May I visit him?”
“Certainly.” The priest nodded. “Firm friends may help him to fight the demon if we cannot find the vampire.”
“Thankyou, Father. I will pray for him tonight.”
“You do that, my son.” The priest made the sign of the cross over Matthew. “Take care, and may God protect you on your journey home. May he bless you and keep you safe. Amen.”
As the carriage continued to make its way through dark streets, Matthew whispered the priest’s prayer to himself.
“… Amen.”
Last edited by Lusankya on 2005-06-11 05:29am, edited 1 time in total.
"I would say that the above post is off-topic, except that I'm not sure what the topic of this thread is, and I don't think anybody else is sure either."
- Darth Wong
Free Durian - Last updated 27 Dec
"Why does it look like you are in China or something?" - havokeff
- Darth Wong
Free Durian - Last updated 27 Dec
"Why does it look like you are in China or something?" - havokeff
The identity of the culprit isn't the point of the story. It's not a murder mystery.
"I would say that the above post is off-topic, except that I'm not sure what the topic of this thread is, and I don't think anybody else is sure either."
- Darth Wong
Free Durian - Last updated 27 Dec
"Why does it look like you are in China or something?" - havokeff
- Darth Wong
Free Durian - Last updated 27 Dec
"Why does it look like you are in China or something?" - havokeff
Well, you're supposed to listen to the little lesson that he gives Matthew...
"I would say that the above post is off-topic, except that I'm not sure what the topic of this thread is, and I don't think anybody else is sure either."
- Darth Wong
Free Durian - Last updated 27 Dec
"Why does it look like you are in China or something?" - havokeff
- Darth Wong
Free Durian - Last updated 27 Dec
"Why does it look like you are in China or something?" - havokeff
- Elheru Aran
- Emperor's Hand
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