Rotten Nipple and a New Bladder (some pics, long)
Moderator: Beowulf
Rotten Nipple and a New Bladder (some pics, long)
A photo-assisted vent by Petrosjko and the Bride of Satan
------------------------------
The day started much like any other. I got out of bed. I got my pants on the right way. I had a long moment of peaceful repose upon the sacred throne, before heading to the kitchen to brew some of the blessed elixir of life. I emptied the thermal pot of last night's brew, reached over to turn the sink faucet on... no water. No water. No water means... no coffee. NO COFFEE! NOCOFFEENOCOFFEENOCOFFEENOCOFFEE!
Drama queen.
Okay, I'm better now.
Now, this is not an unheard-of occurence. First thought- did it freeze? It wasn't that cold last evening, but if there was a sudden cold snap, it could have happened.
Step out the back door. Nope, not that cold. Astroturf on the porch is soggy, for one thing.
Next possibility- electrical failure on the well breaker. Go to check...
HOLY FUCKING SHIT!
The well tank... it has exploded.
No shit, for-real exploded.
Blasted clean off the damned wellhead.
Um.
Time to call the well service people.
Duuuuuuuh.
Thank you, Sasuko.
Any time.
So the well service people show up. They are impressed at the scale of damage, and tell me so.
Yes, so am I.
So, they commence to recommend a new bladder tank. It's better, somehow, presumably in a 'less likely to explode and blast damn near into the propane tank' fashion. Plus it has a five year warranty.
Sign me up.
Whee! A new bladder. Tank.
In order to do this they're going to have to pull the old pump, which seems to still be somewhat functional. However, upon further testing it is shorting.
Hmm...
Wonder if that has anything to do with why the tank exploded.
Are you being deliberately obtuse?
Hey, it's an honest question.
So we have to pull a hundred and fifty feet or so of pipe to extract the pump...
Metrics, mortal worm! This is an international board!
Ahem.
So we have to pull around 45.72 METERS of pipe to extract the pump. Which is, shall we same, somewhat antique.
"How old is this thing?"
"I dunno, twenty years."
"Twenty-two, says here!"
"Yeah, twenty-two."
(Should I do that in metric years?)
Should I find out how many meters long your large intestine really is?
Moving right along, the pump is joined to the line by a plastic nipple that was installed when the pump was. So naturally it's rotten all to hell.
Yuck.
So at first we're still trying to determine if the pump can be salvaged, so extracting this rotten nipple is quite a chore.
But then, just for the hell of it they run another test. Nope. It's fraaaaahed, as we say hereabouts.
Well sheeit.
So about that new pump? Sure. Horse and a half, like the old one? Sure.
I'm not an engineer, but I must say that they reassembled everything in much more sounder fashion than it was originally put together.
You just say that because they used more tape than the first guy did.
Large amounts of tape are essential to any well-built contraption. Hell, everybody knows that.
So then we feed the pipe and the wire back in. (I say we because I did help.)
You held the wire straight. What would they have ever done without you?
Um, had a kinky wire?
Then they put the new tank on. It's... much shorter than the previous one, albeit a bit bigger around. But... it's stubby.
You are such a Texan.
True dat. Anyway, then came the bill. Ah, yes. One arm, one leg, kidney? Sure.
(This is why emergency funds are a good thing, kids.)
See, if you'd just taken my advice, it would have been free. Let them finish working, then allow me to... deal with them.
Great idea. Then when the cops come to find out what happened...
I fear not the police.
And that's why I had to change my name and we had to move out of Mississippi, remember?
Change is good.
Yeah, sure.
So anyway, I finished running the water to get the mud out. Fortunately none of the pipes burst, so the damage was slightly mitigated. And as I finish typing this, I hear the coffee pot finish its brew cycle. So life endures. I'll just go to the kitchen and get a nice cup of coffee and try to forget this morning ever happened.
You dare enter my domain, foolish mortal? Step into my lair, said the kitten to the mouse!
I don't think it goes quite like... AAAAAAAHAAAAAAAACCCK! NOT MY EYES! NOT MY EYES!
No puny humans were mutilated in the production of this essay. Would these adorable blue eyes lie?
Postscript- Near as we can figure, the pressure switch malfunctioned and overpressured the tank, causing the dramatic explosion.
------------------------------
The day started much like any other. I got out of bed. I got my pants on the right way. I had a long moment of peaceful repose upon the sacred throne, before heading to the kitchen to brew some of the blessed elixir of life. I emptied the thermal pot of last night's brew, reached over to turn the sink faucet on... no water. No water. No water means... no coffee. NO COFFEE! NOCOFFEENOCOFFEENOCOFFEENOCOFFEE!
Drama queen.
Okay, I'm better now.
Now, this is not an unheard-of occurence. First thought- did it freeze? It wasn't that cold last evening, but if there was a sudden cold snap, it could have happened.
Step out the back door. Nope, not that cold. Astroturf on the porch is soggy, for one thing.
Next possibility- electrical failure on the well breaker. Go to check...
HOLY FUCKING SHIT!
The well tank... it has exploded.
No shit, for-real exploded.
Blasted clean off the damned wellhead.
Um.
Time to call the well service people.
Duuuuuuuh.
Thank you, Sasuko.
Any time.
So the well service people show up. They are impressed at the scale of damage, and tell me so.
Yes, so am I.
So, they commence to recommend a new bladder tank. It's better, somehow, presumably in a 'less likely to explode and blast damn near into the propane tank' fashion. Plus it has a five year warranty.
Sign me up.
Whee! A new bladder. Tank.
In order to do this they're going to have to pull the old pump, which seems to still be somewhat functional. However, upon further testing it is shorting.
Hmm...
Wonder if that has anything to do with why the tank exploded.
Are you being deliberately obtuse?
Hey, it's an honest question.
So we have to pull a hundred and fifty feet or so of pipe to extract the pump...
Metrics, mortal worm! This is an international board!
Ahem.
So we have to pull around 45.72 METERS of pipe to extract the pump. Which is, shall we same, somewhat antique.
"How old is this thing?"
"I dunno, twenty years."
"Twenty-two, says here!"
"Yeah, twenty-two."
(Should I do that in metric years?)
Should I find out how many meters long your large intestine really is?
Moving right along, the pump is joined to the line by a plastic nipple that was installed when the pump was. So naturally it's rotten all to hell.
Yuck.
So at first we're still trying to determine if the pump can be salvaged, so extracting this rotten nipple is quite a chore.
But then, just for the hell of it they run another test. Nope. It's fraaaaahed, as we say hereabouts.
Well sheeit.
So about that new pump? Sure. Horse and a half, like the old one? Sure.
I'm not an engineer, but I must say that they reassembled everything in much more sounder fashion than it was originally put together.
You just say that because they used more tape than the first guy did.
Large amounts of tape are essential to any well-built contraption. Hell, everybody knows that.
So then we feed the pipe and the wire back in. (I say we because I did help.)
You held the wire straight. What would they have ever done without you?
Um, had a kinky wire?
Then they put the new tank on. It's... much shorter than the previous one, albeit a bit bigger around. But... it's stubby.
You are such a Texan.
True dat. Anyway, then came the bill. Ah, yes. One arm, one leg, kidney? Sure.
(This is why emergency funds are a good thing, kids.)
See, if you'd just taken my advice, it would have been free. Let them finish working, then allow me to... deal with them.
Great idea. Then when the cops come to find out what happened...
I fear not the police.
And that's why I had to change my name and we had to move out of Mississippi, remember?
Change is good.
Yeah, sure.
So anyway, I finished running the water to get the mud out. Fortunately none of the pipes burst, so the damage was slightly mitigated. And as I finish typing this, I hear the coffee pot finish its brew cycle. So life endures. I'll just go to the kitchen and get a nice cup of coffee and try to forget this morning ever happened.
You dare enter my domain, foolish mortal? Step into my lair, said the kitten to the mouse!
I don't think it goes quite like... AAAAAAAHAAAAAAAACCCK! NOT MY EYES! NOT MY EYES!
No puny humans were mutilated in the production of this essay. Would these adorable blue eyes lie?
Postscript- Near as we can figure, the pressure switch malfunctioned and overpressured the tank, causing the dramatic explosion.
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Re: Rotten Nipple and a New Bladder (some pics, long)
Bullfuckingshit. There's no way you can make a post of that length without coffee.Petrosjko wrote:A photo-assisted vent by Petrosjko and the Bride of Satan
------------------------------
The day started much like any other. I got out of bed. I got my pants on the right way. I had a long moment of peaceful repose upon the sacred throne, before heading to the kitchen to brew some of the blessed elixir of life. I emptied the thermal pot of last night's brew, reached over to turn the sink faucet on... no water. No water. No water means... no coffee. NO COFFEE! NOCOFFEENOCOFFEENOCOFFEENOCOFFEE!
Name changes are for people who wear women's clothes. - Zuul
Wow. It took me a good minute to remember I didn't have testicles. -xBlackFlash
Are you sure this isn't like that time Michael Jackson stopped by your house so he could use the bathroom? - Superman
Wow. It took me a good minute to remember I didn't have testicles. -xBlackFlash
Are you sure this isn't like that time Michael Jackson stopped by your house so he could use the bathroom? - Superman
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Re: Rotten Nipple and a New Bladder (some pics, long)
I do it all the time. I refuse to drink coffee because it sucks and I write longass post a bit more than occasionally.YT300000 wrote:Bullfuckingshit. There's no way you can make a post of that length without coffee.Petrosjko wrote:A photo-assisted vent by Petrosjko and the Bride of Satan
------------------------------
The day started much like any other. I got out of bed. I got my pants on the right way. I had a long moment of peaceful repose upon the sacred throne, before heading to the kitchen to brew some of the blessed elixir of life. I emptied the thermal pot of last night's brew, reached over to turn the sink faucet on... no water. No water. No water means... no coffee. NO COFFEE! NOCOFFEENOCOFFEENOCOFFEENOCOFFEE!
It's Rogue, not Rouge!
HAB | KotL | VRWC/ELC/CDA | TRotR | The Anti-Confederate | Sluggite | Gamer | Blogger | Staff Reporter | Student | Musician
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Indeed. I'm half inclined to give that cat a GOTLF card. Oh what the hellGhost Rider wrote:Such a cute kitty. And such true words from the mouth of the wise being
*gives Petrosjko' cat a GOTLF card*
'Next time I let Superman take charge, just hit me. Real hard.'
'You're a princess from a society of immortal warriors. I'm a rich kid with issues. Lots of issues.'
'No. No dating for the Batman. It might cut into your brooding time.'
'Tactically we have multiple objectives. So we need to split into teams.'-'Dibs on the Amazon!'
'Hey, we both have a Martian's phone number on our speed dial. I think I deserve the benefit of the doubt.'
'You know, for a guy with like 50 different kinds of vision, you sure are blind.'
'You're a princess from a society of immortal warriors. I'm a rich kid with issues. Lots of issues.'
'No. No dating for the Batman. It might cut into your brooding time.'
'Tactically we have multiple objectives. So we need to split into teams.'-'Dibs on the Amazon!'
'Hey, we both have a Martian's phone number on our speed dial. I think I deserve the benefit of the doubt.'
'You know, for a guy with like 50 different kinds of vision, you sure are blind.'
Looks like you put a lot of work into this and there's nothing really HOS-worthy here, so I'm going to send it off to AMP.
BoTM / JL / MM / HAB / VRWC / Horseman
I'm studying for the CPA exam. Have a nice summer, and if you're down just sit back and realize that Joe is off somewhere, doing much worse than you are.
Seconded! I laughed my arse off, and it was especially good because we've got two ragdolls...Kuja wrote:This is the most hilarious diatribe I've ever read.
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Why is it so goddamned hard to get little assholes like you to admit it when you fuck up? Is it pride? What gives you the right to have any pride?
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The GOP has a problem with anyone coming out of the closet. –18-till-I-die
Why is it so goddamned hard to get little assholes like you to admit it when you fuck up? Is it pride? What gives you the right to have any pride?
–Darth Wong to vivftp
GOP message? Why don't they just come out of the closet: FASCISTS R' US –Patrick Degan
The GOP has a problem with anyone coming out of the closet. –18-till-I-die
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Petrosjko, your cat rules.
It's Rogue, not Rouge!
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This is payback for sigging your butler, right?Batman wrote:Indeed. I'm half inclined to give that cat a GOTLF card. Oh what the hell
*gives Petrosjko' cat a GOTLF card*
Kuja wrote:This is the most hilarious diatribe I've ever read.
Glad you guys enjoyed it.Edi wrote:Seconded! I laughed my arse off, and it was especially good because we've got two ragdolls... :lol:
It was planned to be more rantish, but it got too funny on me as I was writing it. Thanks for the move.Joe wrote:Looks like you put a lot of work into this and there's nothing really HOS-worthy here, so I'm going to send it off to AMP.
Oh, if only you knew the ambitions she has...Rogue 9 wrote:Petrosjko, your cat rules.
And in conclusion, I must say that a good joke is nothing without a good audience. Thank you all. *bows*
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And perhaps the title of the thread was chosen in part precisely because I knew you would be totally misled by it...Kreshna Aryaguna Nurzaman wrote:although I actually expected for something else when reading the words "rotten nipples"
Actually, I picked it as a good eye-grabbing title, but I did specifically wonder what you would think of it after I picked it.
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Even when seeing the first cat pic, I still thought you were going to say something like "Help! My cat's got a very strange nipple-rotting disease! What should I do?"Petrosjko wrote:And perhaps the title of the thread was chosen in part precisely because I knew you would be totally misled by it...Kreshna Aryaguna Nurzaman wrote:although I actually expected for something else when reading the words "rotten nipples"
Actually, I picked it as a good eye-grabbing title, but I did specifically wonder what you would think of it after I picked it.
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For some reason with this picture, I keep hearing
You love pussy, but pussy doesn't love YOU!
All in all great diatribe, and I just like that pic the best.
You love pussy, but pussy doesn't love YOU!
All in all great diatribe, and I just like that pic the best.
MM /CF/WG/BOTM/JL/Original Warsie/ACPATHNTDWATGODW FOREVER!!
Sometimes we can choose the path we follow. Sometimes our choices are made for us. And sometimes we have no choice at all
Saying and doing are chocolate and concrete
Sometimes we can choose the path we follow. Sometimes our choices are made for us. And sometimes we have no choice at all
Saying and doing are chocolate and concrete
My mother caught that shot and the others when she came in for one set of holidays or another, and that one contends heavily with the 'Blue Eyes' shot for my favorite.Ghost Rider wrote:For some reason with this picture, I keep hearing
(snip)
All in all great diatribe, and I just like that pic the best.
The pics are a bit dated, since she's gone through the usual kitten growth spurts... next time the family's in, I'll bum the camera (and the photographer, for that matter- she's better at it than I am) for some new shots.
One funny thing is that she was almost snow white (other than her head, feet and tail) when she landed on my doorstep, but ever since then she's been getting progressively muddier in coloration. I've taken to calling her 'Little Muddy-Fur'. Guess it's my injun ancestry showing on that.
And thanks again. Always glad to amuse.