OWNED IN THE FACE Game Moments!

[Falkenhayn]

Melee to the back in Halo 2, with the rocket launcher, against people with active camo. Nothing is more insulting and degrading to your victims.

Whacking people with the entrenchment shovel in Day of Defeat is up there.

I was playing some winter urban map in DoD. I put an MG 42 on a snowbank that dominated two roads. I shot three really stupid americans then three more came out of a side door with guns ablaze and rushed me. I picked up like my ass was on fire and ran down the other side of the snowbank.

They made the mistake of thinking that one of them had got me, because they didn't follow. They stacked up on a corner and started firing on my spawn.

I shoveled all three of them.

CoD:UO

I took up a position on the side street of Carentan with the sandbag MG on the end. Now our LAN cafe has this hack mod that halves recoil. So the Americans spawned in the warehouse, and I shot them as they jumped out of the window. nine kills in twenty seconds. Then I dropped an arty barage on where I thought their next spawn would be. I was right

Twenty kills in a minute and a half.

[Sharp-kun]

Super Robot Wars Alpha. Its the final mission. The big ass boss is there, and it regenerates almost any damage you deal to it for quite a while, eventually stopping (basically it exhausts your team before you can kill it).
Throughout the game I'd spent a vast proportion of my funds on SRX (some said that was a waste, as you can only use it a few times). Every stat and powerful weapon was fully upgraded. I'd managed to complete the requirments that gave me Rebi Tora as the 4th pilot. I had her use her "Miracle" abilty, which gave x3 damage to the next attack.

I then fired the big ass gun at the final boss, which was at full strength.

It died with that one attack . I felt smug.

"Energy 120%! Heaven-and-Earth-One-Shot-Sure-Kill-Cannon... Fire!!!"

[Rye]

I've got to chime in with my own Goldeneye story, one time, way back, my brother and I were playing on the bunker map with only pistols and one shot kills. First to 10 kills won.

Before long it was 9 kills each. The tension was mounting, this was brother against brother, one of the rivalries you have to actually experience first hand, I would say, to fully understand.

John Woo style pistolfight with DD4 Dostoveis ensues as far as the goldeneye engine can allow for. Somehow, we make our way through the level, without hitting one another once, and trust me, we weren't novices, the dodging was just that 1337. Then, at the part next to the stairs that leads to the main goldeneye room, with that big mirror ball thing in the wall, I stop running, and my brother stopschasing. He's either just round a corner or behind a door of some kind, not too sure. All it would take is either of us edging slightly to get in the other's sights and be blown away, and we both know it. So we just sit there for what seems like an age, though it was likely only a few seconds. I must've had jedi precog or something, because I just fire aimlessly when my brother's not there, and then, somehow, that was the exact moment he chose to move, he strafes out and gets a bullet in the heart, he spins and dies. Then he starts screaming that I was cheating somehow.

Hahaha, that was amazing, I'll remember that moment as long as I live.

[Anarchist Bunny]

4v4c game of Starcraft. I'm Zerg, one of my allies is Terran, the other two are toss. It was a money map(yeah yeah, they were new at the time, gave them a shot) well, I was being hassaled a bit by zealots from a nearby comp base and I made a 3 or 4 layered wall of Sunkens with a nasal letting my guys get through. I whip out the toss next to me by myeself while the terran player informed me about how much Zerglings sucked(BC whore), the other players were a carrier whore who litterally filled the first half of his base with photon cannons(at least 40 of them) the other used mostly goons with some corsairs and DTs. Well we finish off the last of the comps but no victory. Shit I think, the three of them are gonna backstab me. Well the carrier whore and BC whore unally, and then the carriers start attacking the other protoss. 2v2, we can handle this. Nothing like the sweet sweet irony of runing 75+ Cracklings under his couple dozen BC and all but destroying his base(a mech factory and startports and missile turrents, no CC or SCVs before my zerglings are stopped by his BCs. The corsairs and defense of my ally handle the carriers and a steram of dragoons start messing up his base. AFter the lings are gone he sends over his BCs, all the while I had been preparing some spore colonies, scourges and Devourers and by the time he arrives and deals with my spore colonies I have a airforce powerful enough to counter his BCs, and a fresh army of cracklings on the way. All his units gone and with no economy the terran player is beat, the toss player is filled with dragoons destroying his base and they ally. Then my fellow backstabee allies as well. I regret to this day not duking it out, but my overlords took a bad hit from the toss player and so I ally too.

[Master of Ossus]

Alright, a couple more stories about my best friend and me vs. our brothers.

Super Smash Bros. (Best party game ever). I take my brother one-on-one at Saffron City, stock 5. We're both down to one life, he's got a green shell that will easily kill me and I've just used my second jump to get away from the frickin' pokemon that jumped out of the building. He launches it, knowing I can't dodge, at very close range. At the last possible instant I manage to get my reflector shield up, nearly hitting him with the shell. He attacks, I get in a few shots while staying out of his range, then I see my chance and beat him to the ground just in time to bike kick him off the level for the win. Pretty typical one-on-one right? Wrong: I was at handicap 1 and he was at 9.

Also Smash Bros. (a couple weeks later, IIRC). Me and my best friend against our brothers in a team battle at Sector Z. It's a pretty good match. IIRC, we were handicapped down to about 4 or so and they were at 7 in another stock 5. We're all down to one life, dueling it out. All of a sudden, my partner is launched and is trying desperately to get back into the fight (he's badly damaged, and the attack sent him all the way to the engines from the nose) my brother grabs me when I try to kick him, holds me while his partner gets a couple of hits in, then throws me backwards so his partner can deliver the coup de grace. My partner, meanwhile, sees that I've died the final death and decides to stay put on the engines, where there's a beam sword. Both of them run to the peak of the Great Fox and stand for a few seconds, watching him brandish the beam sword menacingly at them. Finally, they decide to jump the gap and attack him. He greets them both with an overhead slam which sends Nes bouncing off the fin and out past the engines so he has to jump in order to recover. The other one fares a little better, landing on the engines. He gets hit immediately with the quick side-swipe for the kill, and as Nes begins to use his b-move to get back on my partner chucks the beam sword to nail him for the win. He ALSO managed to get the Falcon taunt off just as Nes died. It took less than two seconds to kill them both. It was great.

[Anarchist Bunny]

Other notable mentions.

X-men Children of the Atom
Me and my friends played this game far to much and we all got really good with our selective character(I did Omega Red), although we never beat the game we did beat Magneto one round. Anyways we were playing and got challeged by this guy who went and kick my friends ass, so I set up and he beats me down to a sliver of health and he is all but unscathed. I let out a "DAMN IT" and like magic start wailing on him, he doesn't get a single attack out, hit or miss, I just set him up with a barrage of attacks ending in his super full screen tentacle attack. It was beatiful.

Die Hard Trilogy
Me and my friend(Cyclops man from X-men) just got back from a losing soccer game and are treated to CiCi's pizza. Well we each get a five to go at the arcade and play through this game til the end where you have to fight each other. Me and my friend go at each other for a couple rounds until I beat him a few times in a row and he's out, and who shows up? About 8 people from the soccer team that beat us. One of them takes over for my friend and fights me. TO make a long story short, me and my friends drain them out of all their quarters while only dying twice ourselves. Ah, sweet, if utterly pathetic, revenge.

[Arrow]

Ah, Goldeneye! That brings back some memories. Namely, one of my friends using nothing but prox-mines in the caverns map. We couldn't even the see the mines. The instant my other friend and eye spawned and took a step, we got blown to hell. After that, for the rest of the day, we hunted him merciless. We even made a game out of seeing who could kill him the most, and we completely ignored each other! Muhahahaha!

Another excellent moment was Conker's Bad Fur Day. I forget the level name (the one with the two fortresses on each side with three fire slits in each, and two platues and bridge going across the middle), but it was a three person free-for-all sniper battle. I'm in one fortress, one friend is in the other fortress and the second friend is in the middle. We see each other the same time, and we all pulled the trigger. Three heads exploded at once! We were rolling on the floor for five minutes after that.

[Cal Wright]

I love these threads because I can jerk off to how awesome I am at video games.

Let's get Counter Strike on this one. I can't remember the map, it's been a few years since I played. But it was the one in the canyon that also had a sewer system you could through to an elevator to a building. The terrorists start in a parking garage with hostages. BTW before I forget, fuck the Scout Sniper. A gun that sometimes can't even kill with a headshot doesn't take skill, it takes luck. AWP insures the kill on sight.

I hate bunny hopping AK'ers that get headshots. You know who you are. Well, I just play with the standard issue until I can get the AWP. So when I finally do, it's hell. I get to the top of this cliff at the opening of the canyon and zoom in. When those mother fuckers start bouncing and shit, it's headshot city for me. I wage a war with the ground. Either I kill them or they touch the ground. Me 10, Ground 0. Pwned.


Quake III PC
Rail Arena
Okay, I played on this one server that only ran CTF on three maps. Rail style baby, yeah!!! Here again I don't remember the map name, it was on the DC version, Had a small room in the center with a pit and four pillars surrounding it. There were two doors at each end with two windows next to each door you could jump through. The room with the flag had a platform with a walkway leading to it on one side and a jumper below the flag. I stood there and defended the flag. These mother fuckers kept coming. After about ten minutes I start yelling at the newbs who might every once and a while touch the flag. Finally, I said, let me show you how you do this. I frag the first guy coming for our flag. I start my run with that. I go through the door and do my circle strafe wacko jacko run to catch the spawn campers in the corners. Those bastards. I tag someone coming through the door then jump through the window. Then I do the stupidest thing you can ever do in a rail match. Take the jumper. On purpose. I rained death and destruction like a Jewish diety. I've got the flag and the heavy piano keys start ringing out. Uh oh someone's going to stop my walkway run. NOT! They jump through the windows in the hallway. Fragtastic. I know somone just got my flag too, and I can't return unless it's back there. Oh, that's convenient. Jumps right into my shot on my path so I return it myself. I start back pedaling and drop three. I go through the window. Take the jumper. Flag captured. Two guys were following and took two different paths. Flag defended. And that, is how a capture is done.

Quake III Dreamcast
I was on the map that had flight. My cousin was on the top platform and I do my usual run and jump. He fires a rocket over my head to scare me. Doesn't work. Hey, that rocket will never hit anything. Those are immortal words. Because right then, the Tank Jr. bot ran into the opening and you couldn't know he was coming in a million years, and the rocket hit him square and he went to gibs and gore. This was all in my screen only a few feet away. My spleen has never been the same.

I have many, many more all ranging from the Commodore 64 and going through most of the consoles. But these are the funniest.

[Petrosjko]

Last night, Dawn of War:

Five AIs vs. three human players. Two SMs, one Chaos... (I'm a Marine, my custom Witch Hammer chapter color scheme.)

Map was the Burial Grounds from the base install. Okay, the way the computers are set up in my house, I've got one in my bedroom (master system) and two in the living room. So when we're doing these high intensity five on threes, I always set out to just hold my ground against the rushes while the guys in the living room coordinate together to build for the counteroffensive.

It usually works out fairly well, until I get hit by four opponents.

(2 chaos, one ork, one eldar, one space marine. I get hit by all but the second chaos.)

Oh, am I ever getting my ass kicked. They start streaming reinforcements my way, but they're getting sidetracked and diverted, until I realize... no way in hell can I hold this position. One wing of reinforcements managed to make it in, only to get annihilated by the massed forces. The other was high infantry and ran into a lot of infantry-killing armor that was heading my way, so it's ugly.

Okay, I already shipped a servitor back to their bases, which are practically grown together, and I begin building a new stronghold.

Much ugliness ensues as they repeatedly breach into our bases. I'm throwing in reinforcements a dreadnought or two at a time as I slowly rebuild... (ended up building five strongholds, being as how I had no available strategic points, critical locations or relics)

Finally I manage to get enough peace and quiet while they hold the line to assemble the Ten Dreadnought March of Doom. I wait until another offensive is heavily committed, then go smashing into the enemy bases around the flanks. Wipe the orks first (fucking Mushroom Warriors), take the Eldar next, and we own this map...

Took us around two hours to win that game, but it was worth it.

Had another classic back in December I'll share sometime.

[DPDarkPrimus]

Starcraft: My friend, who even at his prime was not nearly as good as me (and I don't consider myself that great a SC player, either) and I decided to play against the AI. I let him make the game. Big mistake- he chose Big Game Hunters. That's right, for a 3-player game. Then he wanted to turtle up, so I played along and teched the hell out of my air forces. Then I flew my carrier and scout squads down to check out the base below me... BIG MISTAKE! The computer had set up a very nice AA battery there, not to mention that the place was crawling with troops anyways. My forces were almost entirely decimated, and I tell my friend to get his ass down there, pronto! We both send ground forces around, only to be met half-way by an attack party of Vultures, Ghosts, and Marines. Thank goodness for my friend's multiple blockade turtling, because they fired off a nuke the wiped out the first one! I sent a bunch of Zealots and Dragoons down to stem the tide and destroy their outpost, when I suddenly ran into a crisis: I was out of resources. Desperately, I flew an Arbiter directly across the map, finding an empty start base. I warped in my probes and then began ferrying them back and forth with Shuttles and Recall until I had enough minerals stored up to warp a Nexus in there. From that new base, I constructed a large party of Zealots and Dragoons, which covered half-a-dozen Reavers... combined with my friend's air force, we managed to retake the lost ground and eventually destroyed the computer player, who had set up shop in not one, not two, but three start locations. Too bad it was before the days of replay.

[Shark Bait]

postal 2: one night I'm not sure why but I compleately lost it I played postal2 for over 5 hrs straight in the end i had more than 3000 kills (from just that night) some highlights include sniping everyone on mainstreet in under a min. killing a charging elephant with a hand gun. Beating every red neck i could find to death with a shovel after tazering them first. Killing 600+ cops, that was actually harder they kept trying to arrest me because I went just a little wild with napalm and rockets.

[The Yosemite Bear]

net hack

I did something an a genie granted me a wish

I asked for stormbringer...

and lo I became god, the souls of those slain replensihed my health and took care of my need to feed, I finally died in a room where I couldn't find an exit to save my life litterially.

[Rogue 9]

Last night, Dawn of War:

Five AIs vs. three human players. Two SMs, one Chaos... (I'm a Marine, my custom Witch Hammer chapter color scheme.)

Map was the Burial Grounds from the base install. Okay, the way the computers are set up in my house, I've got one in my bedroom (master system) and two in the living room. So when we're doing these high intensity five on threes, I always set out to just hold my ground against the rushes while the guys in the living room coordinate together to build for the counteroffensive.

It usually works out fairly well, until I get hit by four opponents.

(2 chaos, one ork, one eldar, one space marine. I get hit by all but the second chaos.)

Oh, am I ever getting my ass kicked. They start streaming reinforcements my way, but they're getting sidetracked and diverted, until I realize... no way in hell can I hold this position. One wing of reinforcements managed to make it in, only to get annihilated by the massed forces. The other was high infantry and ran into a lot of infantry-killing armor that was heading my way, so it's ugly.

Okay, I already shipped a servitor back to their bases, which are practically grown together, and I begin building a new stronghold.

Much ugliness ensues as they repeatedly breach into our bases. I'm throwing in reinforcements a dreadnought or two at a time as I slowly rebuild... (ended up building five strongholds, being as how I had no available strategic points, critical locations or relics)

Finally I manage to get enough peace and quiet while they hold the line to assemble the Ten Dreadnought March of Doom. I wait until another offensive is heavily committed, then go smashing into the enemy bases around the flanks. Wipe the orks first (fucking Mushroom Warriors), take the Eldar next, and we own this map...

Took us around two hours to win that game, but it was worth it.

Had another classic back in December I'll share sometime.

Please tell me you saved the replay.

[2000AD]

Dawn of War,me vs my best mate. Normally we played together agianst the com but for the last match of the night we go 1v1 on the small city map that's used for the tutorials, the one with a river down the middle and a bridge at either end, we're both space marines.

We're both building fast and after securing most of the resources my side i try a quick attack across the far bridge but he has it sealed up and i'm pushed back. I get a few more squads and try to hit the other bridge but he's tied up that one too.

I build up a sizeable force of tac squads with mixed weapons and try to cross the closer bridge. I start off winning, but the he jumps in about 3 assault squads from out of nowhere and hacks my guys down, only 2 escape, fortunately my turrets put him off pressing the advantage.
I keep on trying to get across the bridges but each time he holds me up with the forces at the bridges and then hits me back with the assault squads. By the time i get the preds up he's got dreadnaughts.

I try bombarding his standing forces with whirlwinds and he pulls them back but i still cant press as the dreads cut me down.

I hit on the idea of jumping assault squads across the river but that turns sour as i find he's positioned his assualt squads in the central area so he can react to either bridge, so i have to pull back my assaults ASAP. However i find he has a machine cult built near the slag dump and resource point there. A plan formulates.

At this point i'll note that at any time after the initial few pushes i think he could have attacked and finished me off, i'm fighting but expecting to lose anytime.

Eventually i've built up a few tac squads and a couple of preds, time to enact my plan. I send these against the closest bridge and sure enough i draw his assualt squads out. This is a diversion. As soon as his assualt squads are away i jump mine in and melta bomb the fuck out of the machine cult and also take out the dred that had just been built. My assault marines now begin a fot slog towards the big melee and catch his assault unawares. But his dreds take down my preds and i know it's time to retreat as his assault squads out number mine, so retreat i do,melta bombing a dred on the way out.

I now build up a unit of 5 preds and kit them out with as many lascannons as possible, while rebuilding and reinforcing my assault squads. I use up the rest of my vehicle slots building some dreds in drop pods.
I begin the big push by sending a decoy attack to the far bridge, a couple of tac squads not much, but it's enough to draw away the assault squads. My preds scream across the close bridge and hit the dreds before they know what's happening. At the same time i jump my assaults across the river and take down the machine cult he's rebuilding. My preds continue on up to the second line resource points and begin to roll along it taking down his listening posts and also a sacred relic (apothacary place) and a power plant as well as the dreds he drops in to try and stop them. By this time he's brought his assault squads back to deal with mine, but i drop in my dreds to turn the tide in my favour. After they've been delt with i head towards his main base and begin trashing it. Suddenly i notice enemy units appearing in my base. He's teleported in about 4 squads of terminators, the git had had a scout squad hidden in my base for most of the game! It's now a frantic race to destryo each others base. I finish first and am elated, only to find i haven't won. He has a second base somewhere. I desperately start building with my servitors to delay him finishing me off while i split my forces to find it. My preds head back along his side of the river but don't find it, so they head back to my base to hold up the termies. Meanwhile my assault squads begin heading to my side of the river and find a stronghold just across the far bridge. i attack it with everything i've got and finally get the last melta bombs in to take it out!

I'd pulled my way back from what felt like the jaws of defeat (and watching the replay it was, since if he'd have pressedhis advantage i was a gonner) and managed to notch up my first win against him.

[Rogue 9]

You were actually losing Predators to Dreadnoughts?!? Dude, learn to use those things properly! If you let Dreadnoughts get into melee range with a tank which has no melee attack and can easily avoid melee due to being immensely faster than the Dreadnought and can fire while moving so it loses no advantage by doing so then you obviously have no idea how to use the tanks.

[2000AD]

You were actually losing Predators to Dreadnoughts?!? Dude, learn to use those things properly! If you let Dreadnoughts get into melee range with a tank which has no melee attack and can easily avoid melee due to being immensely faster than the Dreadnought and can fire while moving so it loses no advantage by doing so then you obviously have no idea how to use the tanks.

It doesn't help when said dreds have lascannons and the assault squads were blocking my exit. Plus he had tac squads with missle launchers. He dropped the big nasty hammer on me.

[Petrosjko]

Please tell me you saved the replay.

As it happens, yup.

Kind of embarrassing how they kept snagging the relic out from under me. I'm almost ashamed to share. I had a forward relic, and I'd capture it, then I'd get hit somewhere else and by the time I got back to build a listening post on it, I'd find my scouts shooting it out with somebody while another enemy group was busy stealing it from me. Bastards. Frigging heathen xenos, usually.

[Brother-Captain Gaius]

You were actually losing Predators to Dreadnoughts?!? Dude, learn to use those things properly! If you let Dreadnoughts get into melee range with a tank which has no melee attack and can easily avoid melee due to being immensely faster than the Dreadnought and can fire while moving so it loses no advantage by doing so then you obviously have no idea how to use the tanks.

Some people aren't ub3r1337 WarCraft 3 d00dz who obsess over micromanaging every single unit.

[Medic]

I love these threads because I can jerk off to how awesome I am at video games.

That's the point!

Starcraft -- It's a big 4v4 on Hunters. I have shit for allies and 2 formidable foes -- one of whom was a good player when I was still a newb but "now I am the master." So 2 newbs and 2 good versus me and 3 noobs.

The game is going back and forth and my foes were resourceful. They succeed in shollacking my base for the most part with a reaver drop. But I expanded to other places and built factories and starports in my allies bases while grabbing the vespene in the center of the map. Base or no base, my team had map control -- our allies relied on drops, air and skullduggery. So I pulled out my leet guerilla warfare tactics.

For a stretch of about 20 minutes, I pretty much was just assisting my allies in fighting bottom middle and bottom left -- both the good players and with a semi-joined base no less! Well, to make up for their micro shortcomings I used my max upgraded Science Vessels to EMP the 2 protoss enemies like a mother (both good players went toss ), irradiated zealots like mad and D matrixed critical units every time. I turned my newb allies in to a force to be reckoned with. Eventually, with resources all over the map waning, I horded up a small army of siege tanks and with my allies we stormed the gates and defeated our utterly contained enemies.

Looking back on the game, my hated enemey, Corey, Mr. "Reaver Recall" bitched about how I had EMP'd his fucking arbitors no less than 4 times! And every time he was about to to a recall too! NOOB! Owned by comsat and EMP. I'd usually Dmatrix a Science Vessel (I had almost a dozen) and then send it deep behind enemy lines just to be a prick! God I love fucking with people. And Dennis, the former master of Starcraft at my high school was utterly contained by noobs and my massively retarded Science Vessel tactics and a mere sprinkling of tanks.

Ph34r the guerilla!

[Rogue 9]

Please tell me you saved the replay.

As it happens, yup.

Kind of embarrassing how they kept snagging the relic out from under me. I'm almost ashamed to share. I had a forward relic, and I'd capture it, then I'd get hit somewhere else and by the time I got back to build a listening post on it, I'd find my scouts shooting it out with somebody while another enemy group was busy stealing it from me. Bastards. Frigging heathen xenos, usually.

Care to host it? This I've got to see. Do you need hosting? I might be able to put it up temporarily.

[Rogue 9]

You were actually losing Predators to Dreadnoughts?!? Dude, learn to use those things properly! If you let Dreadnoughts get into melee range with a tank which has no melee attack and can easily avoid melee due to being immensely faster than the Dreadnought and can fire while moving so it loses no advantage by doing so then you obviously have no idea how to use the tanks.

It doesn't help when said dreds have lascannons and the assault squads were blocking my exit. Plus he had tac squads with missle launchers. He dropped the big nasty hammer on me.

They'll move. Just barge on through. And he upgraded Dreads with lascannons instead of an assault cannon? That's what we call melta bomb fodder.

[2000AD]

They'll move. Just barge on through. And he upgraded Dreads with lascannons instead of an assault cannon? That's what we call melta bomb fodder.

He's got assault squads to carve up infantry, plus since he'd been playing on my team for two nights running he knew i had a taste for vehicles. By taking lascannons he can take out the vehicles and still have some decent hitting power in close combat. I'd already used up my meltas taking out his machine cult, so there wasn't much i could do and i didn't want to get killed waiting around for the meltas to recharge, so i pulled back to my based which had a few turrets to hold him off, not that they would have mattered if he'd have gone all out.

EDIT: you know what? i'm going to relive this "owned" moment through the magic of replays. see ya!

[Trogdor]

Halo 2. In a small tournament with my friends, I was ranked last before we played when we were figuring out our fake betting odds. Took the two guys ranked above me to school because I got to pick the map and selected ones I knew well. Also managed to kill the guy ranked first with a melee to the back of the head (he sneezed or something at just the right time, but I'm still surprised I managed to kill him at all; he's the god of halo games).

[weemadando]

Madden 2001 PS1
Custom Playbook of D00M! leads to a high score of 105-0 against comp on Madden difficulty in 5 minute quarters. Humans usually last about 40-60 points before quiting :twisted:

Bah, 2001's AI was bad enough that anyone could manage that.

Try using the 2005 Raven's list to score no less than 100pts a game (with <20 MAX in response all season) on All Madden.

[weemadando]

My best effort -

AvP, playing as the lone alien in species deathmatch w/ 3 marines and a Pred on Statue. I had more points at the end of the match than every other player combined.