The stupidest thing I ever read...

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weemadando
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The stupidest thing I ever read...

Post by weemadando »

On a "Directions for use" in a packet of condoms...
12. Don't return used condoms to manufacturer through the mail.
I think that may even beat the "don't stop chain with hands or genitals"...
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Re: The stupidest thing I ever read...

Post by CmdrWilkens »

weemadando wrote:On a "Directions for use" in a packet of condoms...
12. Don't return used condoms to manufacturer through the mail.
I think that may even beat the "don't stop chain with hands or genitals"...
Well its right up there with the "don't stage dive in a car into a crowd" warning on a Mazda/Mitsubishi (forget which) commercial.
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Re: The stupidest thing I ever read...

Post by Kuja »

weemadando wrote:On a "Directions for use" in a packet of condoms...
12. Don't return used condoms to manufacturer through the mail.
I think that may even beat the "don't stop chain with hands or genitals"...
I've seen condoms with "must be worn for maximum effectiveness" on them :roll:
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Re: The stupidest thing I ever read...

Post by Stormbringer »

weemadando wrote:On a "Directions for use" in a packet of condoms...
12. Don't return used condoms to manufacturer through the mail.
I think that may even beat the "don't stop chain with hands or genitals"...
Nothing will ever top that warning for shear "well fucking duh" factor. Mind you that one comes close but not quite.
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Post by Sienthal »

Warning for an Air Conditioner:
"Please do not drop air conditioner(s) out windows"

Warning for a Hair Dryer:
"Do not use while sleeping"

And the classic
On bottom of juice carton:
"Do not tip upside down"
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Post by The Yosemite Bear »

Construction ladder.

Only place on a solid firm surface, ladder may slip if placed in mud, or manure.....
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Post by Sienthal »

Sometimes I wonder if the people who make these warnings write this stuff to make us think if there really is someone this stupid on Earth. But then I go to school, and I become enlightened to the truth.
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Post by XaLEv »

You ever think that maybe people put those warnings there just to fuck with us?
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Post by Sienthal »

Already entered as Global Conspiracy #372731 subsection AAC.
8)
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Post by punkgothhippie »

i think half the warnings placed on items are just to give people who write warning lables a good laugh and see what sort of possible return mail they might happen to get reflecting on how one of there "jokes" saved someones life :roll:
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Post by Knife »

They are there because some dumbass did the act, and sued the company. Warnings like these help ease the liability of the company that makes the products.

My personal favorite is on batteries. If battery breaks open, do not eat contents. :D
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Post by Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi »

They have to put these warnings on s so someone doesn't sue because they put it up their nose and got thier friend pregnant.

What bout instructions on airpline packets of nuts? (Open packet, eat nuts)
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Post by haas mark »

1) Hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.

2) On the bottom of certain desserts: Do not turn upside down.
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Post by Kuja »

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi wrote:They have to put these warnings on s so someone doesn't sue because they put it up their nose and got thier friend pregnant.

What bout instructions on airpline packets of nuts? (Open packet, eat nuts)
Warning on package: "Warning, contains nuts." Well, no shit?
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Post by haas mark »

Peanut butter: "May contain nut products." :roll:
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Post by Kuja »

verilon wrote:1) Hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.

2) On the bottom of certain desserts: Do not turn upside down.
LOL, but the Swedish chainsaw still takes it.
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Post by haas mark »

IG-88E wrote:
verilon wrote:1) Hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.

2) On the bottom of certain desserts: Do not turn upside down.
LOL, but the Swedish chainsaw still takes it.
WTF is the Swedish chainsaw?
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Post by Kuja »

verilon wrote:WTF is the Swedish chainsaw?
You've never heard of the Swedish chainsaw? :shock:

It's a chainsaw with a warning of one side:

"Warning. Do not attempt to stop with hands or genitals."
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Post by haas mark »

IG-88E wrote:
verilon wrote:WTF is the Swedish chainsaw?
You've never heard of the Swedish chainsaw? :shock:

It's a chainsaw with a warning of one side:

"Warning. Do not attempt to stop with hands or genitals."
Oh. I forgot about that. I have heard you refer to it, but I continually forget about the warning. I've seen it on lawnmowers before, too.
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Post by data_link »

IG-88E wrote:
verilon wrote:WTF is the Swedish chainsaw?
You've never heard of the Swedish chainsaw? :shock:

It's a chainsaw with a warning of one side:

"Warning. Do not attempt to stop with hands or genitals."
Idiot: (attempts to stop chainsaw with foot)
Idiot: AAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!
Idiot: (sues manufacturer of chainsaw)

Hey, it could happen
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Post by data_link »

And sadly, probably will.
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Post by Kuja »

And probably has, no doubt.
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Post by Frank Hipper »

IG-88E wrote:
verilon wrote:WTF is the Swedish chainsaw?
You've never heard of the Swedish chainsaw? :shock:

It's a chainsaw with a warning of one side:

"Warning. Do not attempt to stop with hands or genitals."
I stalled a chainsaw with my genitals once. No problem. :D
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Post by Master of Ossus »

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Post by haas mark »

Frank Hipper wrote:
IG-88E wrote:
verilon wrote:WTF is the Swedish chainsaw?
You've never heard of the Swedish chainsaw? :shock:

It's a chainsaw with a warning of one side:

"Warning. Do not attempt to stop with hands or genitals."
I stalled a chainsaw with my genitals once. No problem. :D
Prolly why they have that warning.

On a smei-related topic, American drive-up ATMs have Braille. Why?
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