A third of all Canadians enjoy 'aural sex,' study says

[dr. what]

The weather may be frigid, but Canadians certainly aren't.

A risque new survey has found more than a third of adult Canucks -- and nearly half of those age 18 to 35 -- admit to having a sexually charged "intimate phone conversation" with a close friend or partner.

Given the opportunity to have a "hot and heavy" Valentine's phone exchange with a celebrity, a quarter of respondents indicated the deed would be especially pleasurable with Brad Pitt or Angelina Jolie.

Actor Mike Myers and Prime Minister Paul Martin tied for last place with just three per cent of the vote.

"In an age where safe sex is at a high premium, this is as safe as it gets," says Robert Thompson, North America's leading expert on popular culture. "As far as we know, there's not a single sexually transmitted disease that can possibly ever, under any circumstances, be transferred over telephone."

A spokeswoman for Vonage Canada -- the Internet phone company that commissioned the survey -- said respondents were asked if they had ever participated in an "intimate phone conversation," but researchers were instructed to "put emphasis on the wording to make it clear we were talking about phone sex."

Mr. Thompson notes each respondent's experience, or definition, of phone sex is likely unique, and covers a wide range of emotional and physical pleasures. But he says one thing is certain: the popularity of aural sex by way of Alexander Graham Bell reaches back farther than most would assume.

"Not long after the first telephone message went over a wire, the idea that a telephone could be used for (intimacy) was probably already brewing," says Mr. Thompson, director of the Centre for the Study of Popular Television at Syracuse University. "Once telephones became a private, intimate form of communication which didn't have the worry of being overheard, this was an absolute inevitability."

The survey found Jennifer Aniston, Jennifer Garner and Beyonce ranked among the most desired phone lovers for men, while Sean Connery won the second-highest percentage of female votes.

Mr. Pitt and Ms. Jolie, however, emerged the runaway champions of celebrity phone sex.

"If we're to believe the stories, this is not only something (Pitt and Jolie) do, it's something they're probably very good at," says Mr. Thompson, referring to allegations phone sex between the sultry stars led to the breakup of Mr. Pitt's marriage.

"Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are every bit as packaged as desirable commodities as you would package and wrap a cheesecake."

Joe Parent, vice-president of marketing for Vonage Canada, says he found the survey results amusing, but not surprising.

"When you're trying to convey a message that requires emotion, there's certainly no better way to do it than with a phone call," he says. "A lot of the taboo, don't-go-there connotations of sexual relationships don't exist anymore."

The Vonage survey of 1,024 randomly selected Canadian adults was conducted by Decima Research between Jan. 27 and Jan. 30. The survey data is considered accurate within 3.1 per cent, 19 times out of 20.

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[JME2]

Heh. And you thought that Americans wanted to move to Canada because of the 2004 Elections...

[Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi]

I tried having phone sex once, but I couldn't find a hole on the thing to stick my penis into...