Non Combat: Borg v. Battle Droid army

[dnquxiti]

I've always thought, you know, Star Wars and Star Trek, not very fair to just compare blowing up potential. So what if the Droid army and the Borg faced off under some different circumstances?

How about:

Round 1:
A choreographed Dance number. Think something like old Michael Jackson or Paula Abdul videos, 2 gangs face off and settle their differences through dance. Since this will require a principle with a bit more dexterity than either side normally displays, give the Borg Data as their head moonwalker, and the droid army a Destroyer droid... being able to roll up into a ball should make for some great break dancing maneuvers.

Round 2:
Water Ballet. You have seen the old movies with the likes of Annete Kellerman. Everyone in glittery swimsuits, with fountains in the back ground. At the end, we get to see someone rising up into the sky, and at least one down angle shot on every one swimming in a perfect circle. Would the droids or the Borg do a better job? Is rust an issue? Who would float? Who would sink? Why would anyone want to know?

Round 3:
An iron chef cook off. Its not just about team work this time, it also is about creativity and presentation. And judges. Since judges could be a major factor on this one, they will be pulled from modern day earth, and have no prior experience with extra-terrestrial foodstuffs. To be fair to both sides, half of the judges will be American, and the other half will be Japanese, Alton Brown will be the lead commentator, and the Original Chairman, Takeishi Kaga, will preside over everything, replacing him for Iron Chef America was a travesty. Allez Cuisine!

[Bounty]

Round 1:
A choreographed Dance number.

Droids all the way.

Round 2:
Water Ballet.

Droids and Borg sink to the bottom of the pool.

Round 3:
An iron chef cook off.

The collective knowledge of thousands of assimilated chefs would seem to be a distinct advantage. Not to mention the Borg's tastebuds.

[wautd]

Like he said ^

[Lord Revan]

can the Droids have the IG-100 Magnaguards with them or is it just battfield models?

[dnquxiti]

can the Droids have the IG-100 Magnaguards with them or is it just battfield models?

I would say that either side just has the baseline models for their standard fair, but can use anything in their arsenal as their "Ringer", so long as they use the same thing through all three rounds. For example, if you want to see a pre-de-borged 7 of 9 in a swimsuit in round 2, you can't use Data's mad dancing skills in round 1. I should clarify on that I guess that the Borg side can use any character who was partly or entirely part of the collective at some time, and the droid side needs to use something that is either part of the droid army, or is a droid in general. Therefore, Vader, in spite of being largely mechanical, does not qualify.

[Lord Revan]

so let see

Round 1:
A choreographed Dance number. Think something like old Michael Jackson or Paula Abdul videos, 2 gangs face off and settle their differences through dance. Since this will require a principle with a bit more dexterity than either side normally displays, give the Borg Data as their head moonwalker, and the droid army a Destroyer droid... being able to roll up into a ball should make for some great break dancing maneuvers.

well IG-100 puts Data to shame(, lets just to these are good at aerobatics is an understament)

Round 2:
Water Ballet. You have seen the old movies with the likes of Annete Kellerman. Everyone in glittery swimsuits, with fountains in the back ground. At the end, we get to see someone rising up into the sky, and at least one down angle shot on every one swimming in a perfect circle. Would the droids or the Borg do a better job? Is rust an issue? Who would float? Who would sink? Why would anyone want to know?

no difference

Round 3:
An iron chef cook off. Its not just about team work this time, it also is about creativity and presentation. And judges. Since judges could be a major factor on this one, they will be pulled from modern day earth, and have no prior experience with extra-terrestrial foodstuffs. To be fair to both sides, half of the judges will be American, and the other half will be Japanese, Alton Brown will be the lead commentator, and the Original Chairman, Takeishi Kaga, will preside over everything, replacing him for Iron Chef America was a travesty. Allez Cuisine!

no difference.

[Batman]

This thread is officially weird. And I mean by local standards.
Oh, and dnquxiti is the #1 contender for the 'most unpronouncable username' award.
That is all.

[Hardy]

This is amusing.

Round 1:
A choreographed Dance number. Think something like old Michael Jackson or Paula Abdul videos, 2 gangs face off and settle their differences through dance. Since this will require a principle with a bit more dexterity than either side normally displays, give the Borg Data as their head moonwalker, and the droid army a Destroyer droid... being able to roll up into a ball should make for some great break dancing maneuvers.

Droids. Unlike the Borg, these droids have shown the ability to march in step, which is no different than a coordinated dance, in the respect of discipline. Droids also have the flexibility.

Round 2:
Water Ballet. You have seen the old movies with the likes of Annete Kellerman. Everyone in glittery swimsuits, with fountains in the back ground. At the end, we get to see someone rising up into the sky, and at least one down angle shot on every one swimming in a perfect circle. Would the droids or the Borg do a better job? Is rust an issue? Who would float? Who would sink? Why would anyone want to know?

Borg in glittery swimsuits? Wait'll Walper reads this.

Droids, anyway. Niether ones are bouyant, but I do belive that the droids'll make less of a splash. Again, the Borg have not been shown to be able to march in step.

Round 3:
An iron chef cook off. Its not just about team work this time, it also is about creativity and presentation. And judges. Since judges could be a major factor on this one, they will be pulled from modern day earth, and have no prior experience with extra-terrestrial foodstuffs. To be fair to both sides, half of the judges will be American, and the other half will be Japanese, Alton Brown will be the lead commentator, and the Original Chairman, Takeishi Kaga, will preside over everything, replacing him for Iron Chef America was a travesty. Allez Cuisine!

Borg. Like Bounty said, they possess the knowledge of thousands of assimilated Chefs.

[Stark]

'Only useful information is retained'. I expect the Borg deleted all the culinary data in the heads of any assimilated chefs, as such information is useless to them.

[BringerOfLight]

Round 1:
A choreographed Dance number.

Droids do the robot, drones try to emulate the droids but fail miserably because their only "half robot". (Winner: Droids)

Round 2:
Water Ballet.

Droids blow up instantly as they hit the water, while the drones die of asphxiation from prolonged oxygen deprivation. Since the drones lasted longer, they win this competition. (Winner: Drones)

Round 3:
An iron chef cook off.

The theme is live sharks, the Drones try to assimilate the predatory creatures and end up creating sharks with lasers attached to their foreheads, who than promptly kill everyone in the arena. The droids, recognizing the sharks as a potential threat inadvertently use their blasters to create roasted shark fins. (Winner: Droids)

Overall Winner: Droids

[Alferd Packer]

Round 1:
A choreographed Dance number.

Data puts up an admirable effort, but his inability to improvise and limited drone backup results in him totally getting served. I mean, like how Voltron got served.

Round 2:
Water Ballet.

They all sink, and possibly short circuit. No winner.

Round 3:
An iron chef cook off.

Borg, hands down. Not only could they attach various mixers and whisks to the drones' arms, but they probably have tastebuds, still. Droids could follow recipes impeccably, but they lack the experience to make shit up on the fly.

[Shroom Man 777]

As for Round 2, the Clone Wars cartoons show droids fighting klawn troopers underwater.

And we know that there are waiter droids in SW, so the droids have a good chance in Round 3.

[Lancer]

As for Round 2, the Clone Wars cartoons show droids fighting klawn troopers underwater.

And we know that there are waiter droids in SW, so the droids have a good chance in Round 3.

Borg drones have been in environments where normal respiration is impossible (like space) for extended durations without any detrimental effects.

[WyrdNyrd]

This is amusing.

Understatement!

This isn't amusing, this is fucking hilarious - I'm still trying to get the milkshake froth out of my nostrils!

Good one, dnquxiti, best laugh^X strangled chortle I've had all day.

[Shroom Man 777]

But the underwater Borg will still walk around like zombies, they could even sink. The droids on the other hand can control their bouyancy and are still pretty "agile" and combat capable.

[Lancer]

But the underwater Borg will still walk around like zombies, they could even sink. The droids on the other hand can control their bouyancy and are still pretty "agile" and combat capable.

Err, where are you getting this? In Clone Wars, the only time we ever see battledroids such as the B1 underwater, they're always standing on a platform of some sort.

[Straha]

hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha


This is good!

[Darth Servo]

Round 1: A choreographed Dance number.

We saw that in TPM. When have drones ever been coordinated in ANYTHING?

Round 2: Water Ballet.

What Bounty said.

Round 3: An iron chef cook off.

While the brones USED to enjoy food, its doubtful they do anymore. We HAVE seen droid chefs in SW though, like Dexter Jettister's greasy spoon diner or the refugee ship, both in AOTC.

Droids win 2-0-1.

[Gunhead]

If I get to pick the dance. I choose line dancing, man those B1's would own the borg. Of course they'd need specially made stetsons but so would most of the borg. Damn, B1 with a stetson... that cracks me up...


-Gunhead

[Lone_Prodigy]

Err, where are you getting this? In Clone Wars, the only time we ever see battledroids such as the B1 underwater, they're always standing on a platform of some sort.

In one of the first 10 or so CW Cartoons, we see B1s fighting underwater on Mon Calamari against Kit Fisto.

[Lancer]

Err, where are you getting this? In Clone Wars, the only time we ever see battledroids such as the B1 underwater, they're always standing on a platform of some sort.

In one of the first 10 or so CW Cartoons, we see B1s fighting underwater on Mon Calamari against Kit Fisto.

And they're either riding vehicles, or being supported by a platform of some sort. We do not see B1's floating in the water at all, just the clonetroopers and droid vehicles.

[Darth Servo]

If I get to pick the dance. I choose line dancing, man those B1's would own the borg.

How about 'swing'?

[Lone_Prodigy]

And they're either riding vehicles, or being supported by a platform of some sort. We do not see B1's floating in the water at all, just the clonetroopers and droid vehicles.

I said that in response to the person who said B1s couldn't go underwater at all.

[Isolder74]

And they're either riding vehicles, or being supported by a platform of some sort. We do not see B1's floating in the water at all, just the clonetroopers and droid vehicles.

I said that in response to the person who said B1s couldn't go underwater at all.

There is the fact that they did go down to Uta Gunda. How did the droids get to they city? If their housings are waterproof there is no reason they shouldn't functin underwater. The servo moters will eventually seaze up but should work long enough to win a syncro swim contest though they wouldn't actually be swimming.

The Borg will also sink but in they can operate in a vacuum they can opperate underwater too. the borg underwater shuffle might be interesting to watch.

[Darth Servo]

The Borg will also sink but in they can operate in a vacuum they can opperate underwater too. the borg underwater shuffle might be interesting to watch.

Non-sequitor. The difficulties of functioning in Vacuum are different than those of functioning under water.