Mormon magic underwear

Superman · Post by **Superman** » 2005-04-24 03:38am

http://www.luciferlink.org/mugarments.htm

Cracks me up.

Darth Servo · Post by **Darth Servo** » 2005-04-24 09:46pm

It also has several things wrong about it.

Mormons don't consider the underwear to be any more "magic" than a Catholic sees a preist's robes as such.

Einhander Sn0m4n · Post by **Einhander Sn0m4n** » 2005-04-24 11:37pm

Okay. It's a fucking shorty-tee union suit with a few extra holes.

Can I order mine in red spandex with a zipper on the chest and another on the crotch?

Mayabird · Post by **Mayabird** » 2005-04-25 03:39pm

Darth Servo wrote:It also has several things wrong about it.

Mormons don't consider the underwear to be any more "magic" than a Catholic sees a preist's robes as such.

Maybe not officially, but the dumber masses certainly do, considering the stories circulating around about how people get into an accident or are in the house fire and are burned everywhere except where their undies cover them.

Why the hell would you wear those damn things, anyway? And why can only special certain Mormon women be allowed to make them? And what is it with conspiracy theorists not liking the Masons?

Darth Servo · Post by **Darth Servo** » 2005-04-25 03:45pm

Mayabird wrote:Maybe not officially, but the dumber masses certainly do, considering the stories circulating around about how people get into an accident or are in the house fire and are burned everywhere except where their undies cover them.

Hey, this IS a religion we're talking about. It breeds superstition. There will be word-of-mouth reports of miracles no matter WHAT the religion is about.

Why the hell would you wear those damn things, anyway?

Ask Steve Young.

And why can only special certain Mormon women be allowed to make them?

never heard that one before.

And what is it with conspiracy theorists not liking the Masons?

Conspiracy theorists don't like ANY secret society like the Masons. The CTs are LOOKING for problems that they can blow out of proportions and they automatically assume that any secretive order like the Masons MUST be hiding something. Of course by that logic, my fraternity is involved in a giant government cover-up.

Furthermore, if the CTs are Christian Fundies, keep in mind that in their minds, ANY organization besides their own church is the work of the devil.

Ravengrim · Post by **Ravengrim** » 2005-04-25 08:17pm

Personally, I think that it would be cool to have some magic underwear

But I suspect that the real reason for them is that they cannot be washed so you have to purchase a new pair.... CHA-CHING!!!

Darth Servo · Post by **Darth Servo** » 2005-04-25 08:37pm

Ravengrim wrote:But I suspect that the real reason for them is that they cannot be washed so you have to purchase a new pair.... CHA-CHING!!!

Yes, they can be washed.

Ravengrim · Post by **Ravengrim** » 2005-04-26 12:14pm

Oops, my bad. Thats what I get for trying to pick out facts from the Howard Stern show

However, Rick Schroeder was on there and he said that they magic undies could not be washed, I guess. Maybe I misunderstood. Anyway, magic underwear is still a cool idea. What are they supposed to do, anyway?

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2005-04-26 12:18pm

Rebecca has some magic underwear. She wears it and she can magically transform a flaccid weiner into a rod of steel.

The Spartan · Post by **The Spartan** » 2005-04-26 12:22pm

Darth Wong wrote:Rebecca has some magic underwear. She wears it and she can magically transform a flaccid weiner into a rod of steel.

Isn't that true for most women though?

Besides, you're thinking of the wrong magic underwear. This particular magic turns a rod of steel into a flaccid weiner.

Ravengrim · Post by **Ravengrim** » 2005-04-26 05:25pm

Darth Wong wrote:Rebecca has some magic underwear. She wears it and she can magically transform a flaccid weiner into a rod of steel.

I think my ex-wife had hers on backwards....

wolveraptor · Post by **wolveraptor** » 2005-04-26 06:42pm

Darth Wong wrote:Rebecca has some magic underwear. She wears it and she can magically transform a flaccid weiner into a rod of steel.

Now that's what I'm talkin' about! Why can't there be any Christian cult that demands supermodels as priests? You know they'd be the dominant religion on the planet.

Darth Servo · Post by **Darth Servo** » 2005-04-26 08:15pm

The Spartan wrote:Besides, you're thinking of the wrong magic underwear. This particular magic turns a rod of steel into a flaccid weiner.

It IS ok to take the things off for sex.

The Spartan · Post by **The Spartan** » 2005-04-26 08:19pm

Darth Servo wrote:It IS ok to take the things off for sex.

Nuh-uh. Fornication is against god's will! It's a sin!

Darth Servo · Post by **Darth Servo** » 2005-04-26 09:55pm

The Spartan wrote:
Darth Servo wrote:It IS ok to take the things off for sex.
Nuh-uh. Fornication is against god's will! It's a sin!

Mormons DO get married you know.

You did know that, right?

You WERE aware that Utah has one of, if not the highest birthrate in the country, right?

Where do you think all those kids come from?

The Spartan · Post by **The Spartan** » 2005-04-26 10:17pm

Darth Servo wrote:Mormons DO get married you know.

You did know that, right?

You WERE aware that Utah has one of, if not the highest birthrate in the country, right?

Where do you think all those kids come from?

Yes I'm aware of all that. I'm was making a joke that has fallen flat on its ass.

Darth Servo · Post by **Darth Servo** » 2005-04-26 10:37pm

The Spartan wrote:Yes I'm aware of all that. I'm was making a joke that has fallen flat on its ass.

hint: thats what those little smilies are fore.

Illuminatus Primus · Post by **Illuminatus Primus** » 2005-04-26 10:38pm

Darth Servo wrote:It also has several things wrong about it.

Mormons don't consider the underwear to be any more "magic" than a Catholic sees a preist's robes as such.

Its called satire.

The Spartan · Post by **The Spartan** » 2005-04-26 10:39pm

Darth Servo wrote:hint: thats what those little smilies are fore.

Sorry, I had thought it was obvious enough not to require smilies. Although I must admit that I do have a weird and dry sense of humor so what is an obvious joke to me isn't always obvious to others...

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2005-04-27 12:44pm

Darth Servo wrote:
The Spartan wrote:
Darth Servo wrote:It IS ok to take the things off for sex.
Nuh-uh. Fornication is against god's will! It's a sin!
Mormons DO get married you know.

You did know that, right?

You WERE aware that Utah has one of, if not the highest birthrate in the country, right?

Where do you think all those kids come from?

High birthrates have to do with disuse of birth control, not a high rate of sexual activity. A couple can have sex once a month and crank out a boatload of kids, while another couple can have sex every day and not have any kids.

Col. Crackpot · Post by **Col. Crackpot** » 2005-04-28 09:02am

Mayabird wrote: And what is it with conspiracy theorists not liking the Masons?

Speaking as an inactive 3rd Degree Master Mason, i can tell you that Freemasons really don't do anything other than some mildy ritualistic re-enactment of fictional 'historic' events, eating a big meal, and drinking like sailors on a 3 day pass at meetings. Although i do have to admit I was a little un-nerved when I had to strip down to my underwear and wear a tunic, blindfolded with a rope around my neck at my first meeting.

Rogue 9 · Post by **Rogue 9** » 2005-04-28 11:24am

http://renegade.frozenflame.org/My%20Pi ... erwear.jpg

Rogue 9 · Post by **Rogue 9** » 2005-04-28 11:24am

Dammit. Meant to do image tags.

Darth Servo · Post by **Darth Servo** » 2005-04-28 12:57pm

Col. Crackpot wrote:Speaking as an inactive 3rd Degree Master Mason, i can tell you that Freemasons really don't do anything other than some mildy ritualistic re-enactment of fictional 'historic' events, eating a big meal, and drinking like sailors on a 3 day pass at meetings. Although i do have to admit I was a little un-nerved when I had to strip down to my underwear and wear a tunic, blindfolded with a rope around my neck at my first meeting.

Oh. So you're saying there ISN'T a secret invisible treasure map on the back of the Declaration of Independence?