Fundie Movie Evaluation of Star Wars

Post by **Surlethe** » 2005-04-28 06:33pm

http://www.capalert.com/capreports/starwarsstudy.htm

I found this a bit ago, and I thought it was mind-numbingly funny. Any comments?

Post by **Gandalf** » 2005-04-28 06:40pm

Usual CAP-bashing aside (How is having "alien monsters" wanton violence?), who thought ANH would have a higher score than ESB?

General Zod · Post by **General Zod** » 2005-04-28 06:44pm

cap is fairly well known around here. otherwise, meh. don't really give a fuck what the fundies think of movies i watch.

Hardy · Post by **Hardy** » 2005-04-28 07:05pm

The most interesting part of each analysis is when they list the "Offenses to God". It's highly arrogant and indicative of their inability to recognize common themes in mythology.

I also find that most of their "Wanton Violence" lists contain instances that are meant to serve a purpose and are far from being wanton. The other instances indicate the fundies' inability to understand realistic human behavior. Life isn't fair, and sometimes morally questionable behavior is nescessary to get ahead.

There are some aspects I agree with them on, however, but they're pretty insgnficant.

I wonder what constitutes a perfect fundie flick.

Post by **Gandalf** » 2005-04-28 07:19pm

Hardy wrote:I wonder what constitutes a perfect fundie flick.

The Passion of The Christ.

Despite some damn brutal violence, it's popular among them.

Post by **Surlethe** » 2005-04-28 07:40pm

Gandalf wrote:
The Passion of The Christ.

Despite some damn brutal violence, it's popular among them.

I don't know about that. Protestant Fundies generally don't like Fundie Catholickers like Mel Gibson.

http://www.capalert.com/capreports/pass ... christ.htm.

salm · Post by **salm** » 2005-04-28 07:51pm

Hardy wrote: I wonder what constitutes a perfect fundie flick.

A blank screen.

Hardy · Post by **Hardy** » 2005-04-28 07:51pm

Gandalf wrote:
Hardy wrote:I wonder what constitutes a perfect fundie flick.
The Passion of The Christ.

Despite some damn brutal violence, it's popular among them.

I see. [CaptainObvious]Somewhat hypocritical on their part.[/CaptainObvious]

I wonder how their form of analysis would work witj the Passion:

Wanton Violence/Crime

Cutting off a Temple Guard's ear
The Agony in the Garden
Dragging Christ to the High Priests
Trial of Jesus
Scourging at the Pillar. Many litres of blood spilled.
Crowning with thorns
Judas' suicide
Judas' hallucinations
The Carrying of the Cross
The Crucifiction
Gory depictions of Christ's various wounds
Depictions of Hell

Impudence/Hate
The brutalization of Christ
Dynamics of the crowds
General hostile atmosphere

Sex/Homosexuality
Christ appearing scantily clothed
Hared and his court

Drugs/Alcohol
The Last Supper

Offense to God
Christ claimed to be the son of God

Murder/Suicide
They murdered Jesus! The most heinous act in the history of mankind!!!111
Judas' suicide

I think it may be safe to come to the conclusion that proper fundie entertainment by the "WISDOM" sytem involves no interpersonal conflict whatsoever.

felineki · Post by **felineki** » 2005-04-28 08:07pm

Hardy wrote:I wonder how their form of analysis would work witj the Passion:

I've always wondered how it would work on the entire Bible. That would be fun. We at SD.net should come up with a mock CAPAlert analysis of the Bible.

Post by **Gandalf** » 2005-04-28 08:35pm

felineki wrote:
Hardy wrote:I wonder how their form of analysis would work witj the Passion:
I've always wondered how it would work on the entire Bible. That would be fun. We at SD.net should come up with a mock CAPAlert analysis of the Bible.

Skeptics Annotated Bible has basically done that.

Post by **Surlethe** » 2005-04-28 08:46pm

Gandalf wrote:Skeptics Annotated Bible has basically done that.

That's true, but is that any reason SD.net shouldn't add its twelve cents?

The Bible, by WISDOM:

Wanton Violence/Crime:

God kills stuff.
Score: 100 (It's God killing the stuff)

Impudence/Hate

Intolerance of other religions/God sending people to wipe out other religions
Score: 100 (Intolerance ordered by God)

Sexual Immorality

David kills Uriah for Bathsheba, Lot hands his daughters to angels to be raped (IIRC)
Score: 100 (God punished David by killing Bathsheba and their son (again, IIRC); they were angels chosen by God)

Drugs/Alcohol

Lots of wine
Score: 100 (God sanctioned it)

Offence to God

Blasphemy
Score: 100 (God kills blasphemers--see 10 commandments)

Murder/Suicide

God kills pagan priests, God kills own son
Score: 100 (It's God murdering)

Final score: Bible gets 100/100: a perfect score! What a surprise!

wolveraptor · Post by **wolveraptor** » 2005-04-28 09:25pm

I fucking love this phrase, taken directly from the site: "steely cold violence inflicted with orgasmic satisfaction"

Orgasmic satsifaction? ....okay then.

Post by **Surlethe** » 2005-04-28 09:31pm

unbeataBULL wrote:I fucking love this phrase, taken directly from the site: "steely cold violence inflicted with orgasmic satisfaction"

Well, if I could get orgasmic satisfaction from steely cold violence... .

Post by **RogueIce** » 2005-04-28 10:06pm

CAPAlert for TPM wrote:Wanton Violence/Crime:

...

eating of animals by animals

Oh noes, not something that happens in freaking nature!!!

Or, technically, anytime a human eats meat.

DPDarkPrimus · Post by **DPDarkPrimus** » 2005-04-28 11:36pm

Gandalf wrote:
felineki wrote:
Hardy wrote:I wonder how their form of analysis would work witj the Passion:
I've always wondered how it would work on the entire Bible. That would be fun. We at SD.net should come up with a mock CAPAlert analysis of the Bible.
Skeptics Annotated Bible has basically done that.

SAB does have it's errors, though. I check the verses in context before posting with them.

Of course, that doesn't stop people from claiming they're incorrect, even if they aren't out of context.

Civil War Man · Post by **Civil War Man** » 2005-04-29 01:35am

Impudence/Hate I(1):
one use of the three/four letter word vocabulary

What, does the special edition have Han Solo say, "Fuck you, Vader" or something?

I'd use the wanker emoticon, but doing that would make the saints cry.

P.S. I love the entry for "inappropriate touching" for the ESB and ROTJ scores. Too bad this dipshit doesn't have AOTC. The wanton violence, inappropriate touching, kissing (OMG t3h 3vils!!!!one111eleven1!), and blasphemous lack of Christianity would make his head explode.

Dillon · Post by **Dillon** » 2005-04-29 01:46am

RogueIce wrote:
CAPAlert for TPM wrote:Wanton Violence/Crime:

...

eating of animals by animals
Oh noes, not something that happens in freaking nature!!!

Or, technically, anytime a human eats meat.

Yeah, seriously. I've witnessed my fair share of fundie idiocy, but since when is an animal eating another animal sinful? I'd swear that whole page was a joke if I didn't know better.

Rightous Fist Of Heaven · Post by **Rightous Fist Of Heaven** » 2005-04-29 02:54am

This has to be one of the most ridicolous pieces of bullshit I have ever seen. I just never could have fathomed anyone being this much of a goddamn stupid idiot, but reading thru that crap has opened my eyes. I mean, holy shit "Inappropriate touching"? "Animals eating other animals"?

GeneralTacticus · Post by **GeneralTacticus** » 2005-04-29 09:05am

CivilWarMan wrote:
What, does the special edition have Han Solo say, "Fuck you, Vader" or something?

I believe they're referring to Han's "Then I'll see you in hell!" as he goes out to find Luke in the Hoth blizzard.

Yes, I know, that's not particularly foul language, but these aren't rational people we're talking about here.

GeneralTacticus · Post by **GeneralTacticus** » 2005-04-29 09:13am

I love how they consider bad things being done by the villains to be black marks against the film. Isn't showing the villains as being no worse than the heroes "encouraging moral relativism"?

Jawawithagun · Post by **Jawawithagun** » 2005-04-29 01:49pm

Destructionator XIII wrote:And a general rant about Christians:
"As required of the Holy Scriptures, unless God's name is used with reverence to His glory and praise, its use is considered in vain."
Yay for freedom of speech!

And of course they conveniently forget that "God" is his job title, not his name.

Losonti Tokash · Post by **Losonti Tokash** » 2005-04-29 02:00pm

Disappearing bodies

Being chased by a flame front

Forced hibernation

...yeah.

McNum · Post by **McNum** » 2005-04-29 03:09pm

Hmm...

Either they have read the EU books or they didn't pay attention to ROTJ.

They didn't notice any murders... I think Palpatine might disagree on that one.

Darth RyanKCR · Post by **Darth RyanKCR** » 2005-04-29 09:04pm

Actually I get a little distressed by some fellow Christians who miss out on opportunities like this. Star Wars has has two great Christian ideas in it. First that no human is so far gone that he can't be redeemed and that when you chose to see the good and/or love someone great things can happen, even that person's redemtion.

Tzeentch · Post by **Tzeentch** » 2005-04-29 11:29pm

I loved CAP's review of Sin City. The guy condemned it in such florid prose, you could tell he revelled in it. Plus, he put in little details (e.g. that Dwight was a journalist) that weren't in the movie, but ARE in the comics... implying that a certain good christian reads a lot of Frank Miller.