Fundie Movie Evaluation of Star Wars

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Darth Wong
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Post by Darth Wong »

Tzeentch wrote:I loved CAP's review of Sin City. The guy condemned it in such florid prose, you could tell he revelled in it. Plus, he put in little details (e.g. that Dwight was a journalist) that weren't in the movie, but ARE in the comics... implying that a certain good christian reads a lot of Frank Miller. :twisted:
That reminds me of the "family values" church groups which rant about pornography while exhibiting a thoroughly detailed knowledge of major players in the industry, the kind of acts one is likely to see in their products, etc. :lol:
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"I do not believe Russian Roulette is a stupid act" - Embracer of Darkness

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Post by GeneralTacticus »

Know your enemy, they say... and if you can enjoy yourself in the process, so much the better.
"The bird let out a slow chicken cackle. It sounded like a chicken, but in her heart she knew it wasn't. In that instant, she completely understood the concept of a chicken that was not a chicken. This looked like a chicken, like most of the Mud People's chickens. But this was no chicken.

"This was evil manifest."

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Post by fgalkin »

Surlethe wrote:
Gandalf wrote:
The Passion of The Christ.

Despite some damn brutal violence, it's popular among them.
I don't know about that. Protestant Fundies generally don't like Fundie Catholickers like Mel Gibson.

http://www.capalert.com/capreports/pass ... christ.htm.
# fighting
# ear amputation
# beating, repeatedly, frequent, including after recent beatings, most intensely graphic and realistic
# physical brutality, repeatedly, often and increasingly brutal
# facial injuries from beatings/brutality
# brutal vicious whipping with graphic injuries, ripping flesh, repeatedly
# driving thorns into scalp
# intensely graphic full-body gore, repeatedly, frequently
# crowd control beatings, repeatedly
# crowd brutalization of near-dead Jesus
# continued beatings/whippings of our already mutilated Lord
# kicking our near-dead Lord
# hand/foot impalement with spikes
# a crow pecking the eyes of the thief to Jesus' right (the one who mocked Jesus as He hung on the Cross)
# spear impalement with exudates

Impudence/Hate (I)
# tormenting by children (who were cast as controlled by Satan)
# mockery of our Lord, repeatedly
# crowd lusting after killing Jesus
# lusting after sadistic brutality
# flash nudity, clearly non-sexual but nudity nonetheless

Sexual Immorality (S)
# none noted

Drugs/Alcohol (D):
# drinking wine, repeatedly [Eph. 5:18]

Offense to God (O)
# flashes of grotesque demons
# images of children as demons
# calling Jesus a fool repeatedly [Matt. 5:22]
# attempts of Satan to tempt and control our Lord and events that would impede Him

Murder/Suicide (M)
# suicide of Judas
# murder of our Lord
Oh-MY-GOD!!!!!! :lol:

Have a very nice day.
-fgalkin
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Post by Castor Troy »

What the hell are these nutjobs doing rating movies? :wtf:

Is that, like, the new way of spreading Christianity, or am I missing something here?
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Post by Darth Wong »

Castor Troy wrote:What the hell are these nutjobs doing rating movies? :wtf:

Is that, like, the new way of spreading Christianity, or am I missing something here?
It is, in fact, the new way of spreading Christianity. They don't feel that generosity and living well by example are a good method (plus, they're really hard), so they choose the easier path of loudly condemning everything that is not "righteous" enough for them.

Remember: if you can't climb higher, you can always try to knock other people down :wink:
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"It's not evil for God to do it. Or for someone to do it at God's command."- Jonathan Boyd on baby-killing

"you guys are fascinated with the use of those "rules of logic" to the extent that you don't really want to discussus anything."- GC

"I do not believe Russian Roulette is a stupid act" - Embracer of Darkness

"Viagra commercials appear to save lives" - tharkûn on US health care.

http://www.stardestroyer.net/Mike/RantMode/Blurbs.html
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Post by Lord Zentei »

# fighting
# ear amputation
# beating, repeatedly, frequent, including after recent beatings, most intensely graphic and realistic
# physical brutality, repeatedly, often and increasingly brutal
# facial injuries from beatings/brutality
# brutal vicious whipping with graphic injuries, ripping flesh, repeatedly
# driving thorns into scalp
# intensely graphic full-body gore, repeatedly, frequently
# crowd control beatings, repeatedly
# crowd brutalization of near-dead Jesus
# continued beatings/whippings of our already mutilated Lord
# kicking our near-dead Lord
# hand/foot impalement with spikes
# a crow pecking the eyes of the thief to Jesus' right (the one who mocked Jesus as He hung on the Cross)
# spear impalement with exudates

Impudence/Hate (I)
# tormenting by children (who were cast as controlled by Satan)
# mockery of our Lord, repeatedly
# crowd lusting after killing Jesus
# lusting after sadistic brutality
# flash nudity, clearly non-sexual but nudity nonetheless

Sexual Immorality (S)
# none noted

Drugs/Alcohol (D):
# drinking wine, repeatedly [Eph. 5:18]

Offense to God (O)
# flashes of grotesque demons
# images of children as demons
# calling Jesus a fool repeatedly [Matt. 5:22]
# attempts of Satan to tempt and control our Lord and events that would impede Him
This means that the Gospels (and the Bible in general) are bad for children, I imagine. Or does that only apply to the movie and not the books?

Does this mean that novelizations of other movies that are bad for kids are OK?
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Post by Castor Troy »

Darth Wong wrote: It is, in fact, the new way of spreading Christianity. They don't feel that generosity and living well by example are a good method (plus, they're really hard), so they choose the easier path of loudly condemning everything that is not "righteous" enough for them.

Remember: if you can't climb higher, you can always try to knock other people down :wink:
Well, let's just hope they don't even touch Scarface or Face/Off. *sigh*
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Post by Darth Wong »

Castor Troy wrote:Well, let's just hope they don't even touch Scarface or Face/Off. *sigh*
They would have a heart attack at either film. Scarface is filled with violence and foul language while Face/Off is filled with violence, foul language, and a gunfight that takes place in a church.
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"It's not evil for God to do it. Or for someone to do it at God's command."- Jonathan Boyd on baby-killing

"you guys are fascinated with the use of those "rules of logic" to the extent that you don't really want to discussus anything."- GC

"I do not believe Russian Roulette is a stupid act" - Embracer of Darkness

"Viagra commercials appear to save lives" - tharkûn on US health care.

http://www.stardestroyer.net/Mike/RantMode/Blurbs.html
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Post by HemlockGrey »

Goddammit, wasn't the CAP ministry flailing about for contributions recently and on the verge of collapse? Who the fuck is giving money to these people?
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Post by Darth Servo »

Hardy wrote:I wonder what constitutes a perfect fundie flick.
Vegetales.
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Post by Darth Servo »

Darth Wong wrote:
Castor Troy wrote:Well, let's just hope they don't even touch Scarface or Face/Off. *sigh*
They would have a heart attack at either film. Scarface is filled with violence and foul language while Face/Off is filled with violence, foul language, and a gunfight that takes place in a church.
So score at leats ONE point for The Highlander.
"everytime a person is born the Earth weighs just a little more."--DMJ on StarTrek.com
"You see now you are using your thinking and that is not a good thing!" DMJay on StarTrek.com

"Watching Sarli argue with Vympel, Stas, Schatten and the others is as bizarre as the idea of the 40-year-old Virgin telling Hugh Hefner that Hef knows nothing about pussy, and that he is the expert."--Elfdart
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Post by Darth Servo »

Destructionator XIII wrote:Oh no! If our kids watch Luke use the Force (you notice how they never capitalized 'Force'? Bastards, they're oppressing me and my religion!!!) they will go aginst God!
Keep in mind that under the Mosaic law (which is PRECISELY where their rant against "magic" comes from) ANY kind of supernatural presence that was NOT explicitly stated to be straight from the All Mighty is punishable by death. :kill:
"everytime a person is born the Earth weighs just a little more."--DMJ on StarTrek.com
"You see now you are using your thinking and that is not a good thing!" DMJay on StarTrek.com

"Watching Sarli argue with Vympel, Stas, Schatten and the others is as bizarre as the idea of the 40-year-old Virgin telling Hugh Hefner that Hef knows nothing about pussy, and that he is the expert."--Elfdart
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Post by Losonti Tokash »

McNum wrote:Hmm...

Either they have read the EU books or they didn't pay attention to ROTJ.

They didn't notice any murders... I think Palpatine might disagree on that one.
There's apparently some verse that says murder isn't murder if it's part of a war. So they put war deaths under wanton violence instead.
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Post by Darth Servo »

Losonti Tokash wrote:
McNum wrote:Hmm...

Either they have read the EU books or they didn't pay attention to ROTJ.

They didn't notice any murders... I think Palpatine might disagree on that one.
There's apparently some verse that says murder isn't murder if it's part of a war. So they put war deaths under wanton violence instead.
Well the Bible is pretty explicity that any murder that was comanded by Israel's religious leaders isn't murder. :roll:
"everytime a person is born the Earth weighs just a little more."--DMJ on StarTrek.com
"You see now you are using your thinking and that is not a good thing!" DMJay on StarTrek.com

"Watching Sarli argue with Vympel, Stas, Schatten and the others is as bizarre as the idea of the 40-year-old Virgin telling Hugh Hefner that Hef knows nothing about pussy, and that he is the expert."--Elfdart
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Post by fgalkin »

Darth Wong wrote:
Tzeentch wrote:I loved CAP's review of Sin City. The guy condemned it in such florid prose, you could tell he revelled in it. Plus, he put in little details (e.g. that Dwight was a journalist) that weren't in the movie, but ARE in the comics... implying that a certain good christian reads a lot of Frank Miller. :twisted:
That reminds me of the "family values" church groups which rant about pornography while exhibiting a thoroughly detailed knowledge of major players in the industry, the kind of acts one is likely to see in their products, etc. :lol:
Well, we're all human. They just pray extra hard after they finish...educating themselves on the subject. :lol:

Have a very nice day.
-fgalkin
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Post by wolveraptor »

I think it's a hoax. They mispell "aleins" twice on the same page.
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Post by wolveraptor »

Darth Wong wrote:
Tzeentch wrote:I loved CAP's review of Sin City. The guy condemned it in such florid prose, you could tell he revelled in it. Plus, he put in little details (e.g. that Dwight was a journalist) that weren't in the movie, but ARE in the comics... implying that a certain good christian reads a lot of Frank Miller. :twisted:
That reminds me of the "family values" church groups which rant about pornography while exhibiting a thoroughly detailed knowledge of major players in the industry, the kind of acts one is likely to see in their products, etc. :lol:
The size of the stars' bras...the length of their...

Ma, I wanna be a pastor when I grow up. :twisted:
"If one needed proof that a guitar was more than wood and string, that a song was more than notes and words, and that a man could be more than a name and a few faded pictures, then Robert Johnson’s recordings were all one could ask for."

- Herb Bowie, Reason to Rock
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Post by Frank Hipper »

Darth Wong wrote:That reminds me of the "family values" church groups which rant about pornography while exhibiting a thoroughly detailed knowledge of major players in the industry, the kind of acts one is likely to see in their products, etc. :lol:
Ed Meese still holds some sort of record (I think) for viewing more pornography than any other person in history. :o
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Post by Darth Servo »

Frank Hipper wrote:Ed Meese still holds some sort of record (I think) for viewing more pornography than any other person in history. :o
Do you recall what the record is and if any of the board members are close to breaking it?
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"You see now you are using your thinking and that is not a good thing!" DMJay on StarTrek.com

"Watching Sarli argue with Vympel, Stas, Schatten and the others is as bizarre as the idea of the 40-year-old Virgin telling Hugh Hefner that Hef knows nothing about pussy, and that he is the expert."--Elfdart
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Post by Elheru Aran »

And just who is Ed Meese? :?
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Post by DPDarkPrimus »

Elheru Aran wrote:And just who is Ed Meese? :?
The person who holds the record for watching the most porn, obviously.
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Post by Manus Celer Dei »

Hardy wrote:
The Passion of The Christ.


Offense to God
  • Christ claimed to be the son of God
I really, really shouldn't have laughed at that.
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Post by Coalition »

Manus Celer Dei wrote:
Hardy wrote: The Passion of The Christ.

Offense to God
  • Christ claimed to be the son of God
I really, really shouldn't have laughed at that.
Unfortunately, he's removed that (from the page I viewed).
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Post by GeneralTacticus »

That was from Hardy's parody review; I doubt it was ever there on the actual page.
"The bird let out a slow chicken cackle. It sounded like a chicken, but in her heart she knew it wasn't. In that instant, she completely understood the concept of a chicken that was not a chicken. This looked like a chicken, like most of the Mud People's chickens. But this was no chicken.

"This was evil manifest."

- Terry "Not a fantasy author, honest" Goodkind, bringing unintentional comedy to a bookshop near you since 1994.
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