Okay, well...bless you... I guess.*One Sunday morning during service, a 2,000 member congregation was surprised to see two men enter, both covered from head to toe in black and carrying submachine guns. One of the men proclaimed, "Anyone willing to take a bullet for Christ remain where you are."
*Immediately, the choir fled, the deacons fled, and most of the congregation fled. Out of the 2,000 there only remained around 20.
*The man who had spoken took off his hood, looked at the preacher and said "Okay Pastor, I got rid of all the hypocrites. Now you may begin your service. Have a nice day!" And the two men turned and walked out.
*Too deep not to pass on...
*Funny how simple it is for people to trash God .. and then wonder why the world is in the condition it is today..
*Funny how we believe what the newspapers say, but question what the Bible says.
*Funny how everyone wants to go to heaven provided they do not have to believe, think, say, or do anything the Bible says.
*Funny or is it scary?
*Funny how someone can say "I believe in God" but still follow Satan (who,by the way, also "believes"in God).
*Funny how you can send a thousand 'jokes' through e-mail and they spread like wildfire, but when you start sending messages regarding the Lord, people think twice about sharing.
*Funny how the lewd, crude, vulgar and obscene pass freely through cyber space, but the public discussion of Jesus is suppressed in the school and work place.
*Funny, isn't it? Funny how someone can be so fired up for Christ on Sunday, but be an invisible Christian the rest of the week.
*Are you laughing?
*Funny how when you go to forward this message, you will not send it to many on your address list because you're not sure what they believe, or what they will think of you for sending it to them.
*Funny how I can be more worried about what other people think of me than what God thinks of me.
*Are you thinking? Will y ou share this with people you care about? Or not?
*I picked you~
My instructions were to send this to people that I wanted God to bless and I picked you. Please pass this to people you want to bless!!
Righteously indignant Christian chain emails
Moderator: Alyrium Denryle
- Galvatron
- Decepticon Leader
- Posts: 6662
- Joined: 2002-07-12 12:27am
- Location: Kill! Smash! Destroy! Rend! Mangle! Distort!
Righteously indignant Christian chain emails
Am I the only one who gets these whiny emails on a regular basis from religious relatives, friends, or co-workers?
I get ones like that all the time. Sometimes they're funny, sometimes they're a bit thought-provoking, and sometimes they're shitty.
BTW, does this mean the entire forum just got blessed?
BTW, does this mean the entire forum just got blessed?
A Government founded upon justice, and recognizing the equal rights of all men; claiming higher authority for existence, or sanction for its laws, that nature, reason, and the regularly ascertained will of the people; steadily refusing to put its sword and purse in the service of any religious creed or family is a standing offense to most of the Governments of the world, and to some narrow and bigoted people among ourselves.
F. Douglass
- Shroom Man 777
- FUCKING DICK-STABBER!
- Posts: 21222
- Joined: 2003-05-11 08:39am
- Location: Bleeding breasts and stabbing dicks since 2003
- Contact:
Modified it a bit:
*One Sunday morning during service, a 2,000 member congregation was surprised to see two men enter, both covered from head to toe in black and carrying submachine guns. One of the men proclaimed, "Anyone willing to take a bullet for E.T. remain where you are."
*Immediately, the Conspiracy Theorists fled, the UFOlogists fled, and most of the congregation fled. Out of the 2,000 there only remained around 20.
*The man who had spoken took off his hood, looked at the preacher and said "Okay Mulder, I got rid of all the hypocrites. Now you may begin your service. Have a nice day!" And the two men turned and walked out.
*Too deep not to pass on...
*Funny how simple it is for people to trash Aliens .. and then wonder why the world is in the condition it is today..
*Funny how we believe what the newspapers say, but question what the Book of Mormon says.
*Funny how everyone wants to go to Outer Space provided they do not have to believe, think, say, or do anything the Crop Circles says.
*Funny or is it scary?
*Funny how someone can say "I believe the Truth is Out There" but still follow logic (who, by the way, also "believes" in the possibility of extraterrestrial organisms).
*Funny how you can send a thousand 'jokes' through e-mail and they spread like wildfire, but when you start sending messages regarding the Lord Darth Vader, people think twice about sharing.
*Funny how the lewd, crude, vulgar and obscene pass freely through cyber space, but the public discussion of E.T. is suppressed in the school and work place.
*Funny, isn't it? Funny how someone can be so fired up for Star Wars on Sunday, but be an invisible Warsie the rest of the week.
*Are you laughing?
*Funny how when you go to forward this message, you will not send it to many on your address list because you're not sure what they believe, or what they will think of you for sending it to them.
*Funny how I can be more worried about what other people think of me than what Aliens thinks of me.
*Are you thinking? Will y ou share this with people you care about? Or not?
*I picked you~
My instructions were to send this to people that I wanted Aliens to abduct you and I picked you. Please pass this to people you want to abduct!!
"DO YOU WORSHIP HOMOSEXUALS?" - Curtis Saxton (source)
shroom is a lovely boy and i wont hear a bad word against him - LUSY-CHAN!
Shit! Man, I didn't think of that! It took Shroom to properly interpret the screams of dying people - PeZook
Shroom, I read out the stuff you write about us. You are an endless supply of morale down here. :p - an OWS street medic
Pink Sugar Heart Attack!
shroom is a lovely boy and i wont hear a bad word against him - LUSY-CHAN!
Shit! Man, I didn't think of that! It took Shroom to properly interpret the screams of dying people - PeZook
Shroom, I read out the stuff you write about us. You are an endless supply of morale down here. :p - an OWS street medic
Pink Sugar Heart Attack!
- Lord Zentei
- Space Elf Psyker
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- Joined: 2004-11-22 02:49am
- Location: Ulthwé Craftworld, plotting the downfall of the Imperium.
Shroom Man 777, I liked your version better.
Galvatron, why don't you reply with the modified post, and see what happens.
Galvatron, why don't you reply with the modified post, and see what happens.
CotK <mew> | HAB | JL | MM | TTC | Cybertron
TAX THE CHURCHES! - Lord Zentei TTC Supreme Grand Prophet
And the LORD said, Let there be Bosons! Yea and let there be Bosoms too!
I'd rather be the great great grandson of a demon ninja than some jackass who grew potatos. -- Covenant
Dead cows don't fart. -- CJvR
...and I like strudel! -- Asuka
TAX THE CHURCHES! - Lord Zentei TTC Supreme Grand Prophet
And the LORD said, Let there be Bosons! Yea and let there be Bosoms too!
I'd rather be the great great grandson of a demon ninja than some jackass who grew potatos. -- Covenant
Dead cows don't fart. -- CJvR
...and I like strudel! -- Asuka
- Shroom Man 777
- FUCKING DICK-STABBER!
- Posts: 21222
- Joined: 2003-05-11 08:39am
- Location: Bleeding breasts and stabbing dicks since 2003
- Contact:
After a while, I came up with this:
Muwahahuhehohoho...weee! I'm bored. Leprechauns are real! If you don't believe in Leprechauns, who love you with all their bodies (even their pee-pees), then they'll turn you into frogs and roast you in their tiny leprechaun muffin oven. Because they love you so much. Praise!
*One Sunday morning during service, a 2,000 member congregation was surprised to see two men enter, both covered from head to toe in black and carrying submachine guns. One of the men proclaimed, "Anyone willing to take a bullet for E.T. remain where you are."
*Immediately, the Conspiracy Theorists fled, the UFOlogists fled, and most of the congregation fled. Out of the 2,000 there only remained around 20.
*The man who had spoken took off his hood, looked at the preacher and said "Okay, I got rid of all the hypocrites. Now you may begin your service. Have a nice day!" And the two men turned and walked out.
(Then they got arrested by police officers and got sent to jail, where they were beaten half to death by the inmates who were ALL undoubtedly sinful evil godless homosexuals. They were probably also black people who married with white women. How sinful! Ooogabooga! Rar!)
*Too shallow not to pass on...
*Funny how simple it is for people to trash Leprechauns .. and then wonder why the world is in the condition it is today..
*Funny how we believe what the newspapers say, but question what the Book of Mormon says.
*Funny how everyone wants to go to Outer Space provided they do not have to believe, think, say, or do anything the Crop Circles say.
*Funny or is it scary?
*Funny how someone can say "I believe the Truth is Out There" but still follow science (which, by the way, also "believes" in the possibility of extraterrestrial organisms).
*Funny how you can send a thousand 'jokes' through e-mail and they spread like wildfire, but when you start sending messages regarding Lord Darth Vader, people think twice about sharing.
*Funny how the lewd, crude, vulgar and obscene pass freely through cyber space, but the public discussion of E.T. the extraterrestrial is suppressed in the school and work place.
*Funny, isn't it? Funny how someone can be so fired up for Star Trek on Sunday, but be an invisible Klingon the rest of the week?
*Are you laughing at this parody of all those "convert you heathen, my beliefs are superior" chain letters? (hopefully, yes)
*Funny how when you go to forward this message, you will not send it to many on your address list because you're not sure what they believe, or what they will think of you for sending it to them. Or whether they'll appreciate having their email spammed by your attempts to shove rhetorical bullcrap down their throats.
*Funny how I can be more worried about what other people think of me than what Emperor Palpatine thinks of me.
*Are you thinking? (hopefully not, since thinking is wrong, since you should never question your beliefs or else the Leprechauns will turn you into a frog and burn you up, because they love you so much! just obey mindlessly, robot!) Will you share this with people you care about? Or not?
*I picked you (Pikachu! Pokemon is satanic, rar!!! Watch me as I defame the shows children watch because they somehow threaten my superior beliefs! Harry Potter wears satanic jockstraps! Burn eeevil Harry Potter books!)
My instructions were to send this to people that I wanted Aliens to abduct you and I picked you. Please pass this to people you want to abduct!! Please shove your beliefs down other people's throats!
Keep watching the skies!!!1111 The truth is out there!!!1 Don't make me spam your inbox with more self-righteous bullcrap that I think (with my pee-pee) is so deep, thought provoking and true!
Note: I just copied one of them standard lame arse chain letters and replaced some of the stuff in 'em.
"DO YOU WORSHIP HOMOSEXUALS?" - Curtis Saxton (source)
shroom is a lovely boy and i wont hear a bad word against him - LUSY-CHAN!
Shit! Man, I didn't think of that! It took Shroom to properly interpret the screams of dying people - PeZook
Shroom, I read out the stuff you write about us. You are an endless supply of morale down here. :p - an OWS street medic
Pink Sugar Heart Attack!
shroom is a lovely boy and i wont hear a bad word against him - LUSY-CHAN!
Shit! Man, I didn't think of that! It took Shroom to properly interpret the screams of dying people - PeZook
Shroom, I read out the stuff you write about us. You are an endless supply of morale down here. :p - an OWS street medic
Pink Sugar Heart Attack!
- EmperorMing
- Sith Devotee
- Posts: 3432
- Joined: 2002-09-09 05:08am
- Location: The Lizard Lounge
Yeah, my crazy aunt (as opposed to my cool aunt, whom the crazy aunt hates because she divorced a Baptist preacher and discovered she was lesbian and is now in a much happier marriage-of-sorts with her wife) sends them to my mom all the time. She'd send them to me too but I make sure not to let her know my email address. We delete them like Strong Bad deletes stupid emails, but don't tell her to stop sending them. We figure the more time the woman spends finding stupid emails and forwarding them, the less she has to do things like harass my cool aunt.
DPDarkPrimus is my boyfriend!
SDNW4 Nation: The Refuge And, on Nova Terra, Al-Stan the Totally and Completely Honest and Legitimate Weapons Dealer and Used Starship Salesman slept on a bed made of money, with a blaster under his pillow and his sombrero pulled over his face. This is to say, he slept very well indeed.
SDNW4 Nation: The Refuge And, on Nova Terra, Al-Stan the Totally and Completely Honest and Legitimate Weapons Dealer and Used Starship Salesman slept on a bed made of money, with a blaster under his pillow and his sombrero pulled over his face. This is to say, he slept very well indeed.
- GrandMasterTerwynn
- Emperor's Hand
- Posts: 6787
- Joined: 2002-07-29 06:14pm
- Location: Somewhere on Earth.
My response to such e-mails tends to be:
"Ooooh, who shall I bless . . . I know, your ISP's anti-spam department, and the guys responsible for enforcing your ISP's Terms of Service! Let's see you send me any more pointless forwards when you have no e-mail to send it with!"
"Ooooh, who shall I bless . . . I know, your ISP's anti-spam department, and the guys responsible for enforcing your ISP's Terms of Service! Let's see you send me any more pointless forwards when you have no e-mail to send it with!"
Tales of the Known Worlds:
2070s - The Seventy-Niners ... 3500s - Fair as Death ... 4900s - Against Improbable Odds V 1.0
2070s - The Seventy-Niners ... 3500s - Fair as Death ... 4900s - Against Improbable Odds V 1.0
- Morilore
- Jedi Master
- Posts: 1202
- Joined: 2004-07-03 01:02am
- Location: On a mote of dust suspended in a sunbeam.
Oohhh, my turn, my turn!
I love 1984...*One Friday evening at the Community Center, a 2,000 member group was surprised to see two men enter, both covered from head to toe in black and carrying submachine guns. One of the men proclaimed, "Anyone willing to take a bullet for Big Brother remain where you are."
*Immediately, the band fled, the orators fled, and most of the assembly fled. Out of the 2,000 there only remained around 20.
*The man who had spoken took off his hood, looked at the Inner Party member and said "Okay Comrade, I got rid of all the hypocrites. Now you may begin your meeting. Have a nice day!" And the two men turned and walked out.
*Too deep not to pass on...
*Funny how simple it is for people to trash Big Brother.. and then wonder why Oceania is in the condition it is today..
*Funny how we believe what our friends say, but question what the Ministry of Truth says.
*Funny how everyone wants to become one with the Party provided they do not have to believe, think, say, or do anything prescribed by Ingsoc.
*Funny or is it scary?
*Funny how someone can say "I believe in Big Brother" but still follow Goldstein (who,by the way, also "believes"in Big Brother).
*Funny how you can send a thousand 'jokes' through e-mail and they spread like wildfire, but when you start sending goodthinkful messages, people think twice about sharing.
*Funny how the lewd, crude, vulgar and obscene pass freely through cyber space, but the public discussion of the Party is suppressed in the school and work place.
*Funny, isn't it? Funny how someone can be so fired up for Oceania at Community Center meetings, but be an invisible Comrade the rest of the day.
*Are you laughing?
*Funny how when you go to forward this message, you will not send it to many on your address list because you're not sure that they are goodthinkers, or what they will think of you for sending it to them.
*Funny how I can be more worried about what other people think of me than what Big Brother thinks of me.
*Are you thinking? Will you share this with people you care about? Or not?
*I picked you~
My instructions were to send this to people that I wanted Big Brother to bless and I picked you. Please pass this to people you want to bless!!
"Guys, don't do that"
- Coyote
- Rabid Monkey
- Posts: 12464
- Joined: 2002-08-23 01:20am
- Location: The glorious Sun-Barge! Isis, Isis, Ra,Ra,Ra!
- Contact:
Since I have my Spam filter set to maximum, I don't get those. But maybe I'll examine a few in the future. I guess I'm lucky in that I am not really connected to any fandamentalist Christian types with a strong sense of missionary work about them.
Something about Libertarianism always bothered me. Then one day, I realized what it was:
Libertarian philosophy can be boiled down to the phrase, "Work Will Make You Free."
In Libertarianism, there is no Government, so the Bosses are free to exploit the Workers.
In Communism, there is no Government, so the Workers are free to exploit the Bosses.
So in Libertarianism, man exploits man, but in Communism, its the other way around!
If all you want to do is have some harmless, mindless fun, go H3RE INST3ADZ0RZ!!
Grrr! Fight my Brute, you pansy!
Libertarian philosophy can be boiled down to the phrase, "Work Will Make You Free."
In Libertarianism, there is no Government, so the Bosses are free to exploit the Workers.
In Communism, there is no Government, so the Workers are free to exploit the Bosses.
So in Libertarianism, man exploits man, but in Communism, its the other way around!
If all you want to do is have some harmless, mindless fun, go H3RE INST3ADZ0RZ!!
Grrr! Fight my Brute, you pansy!
Morlilore wrote:Oohhh, my turn, my turn!
That's probably the funniest thing i've read all day.
A Government founded upon justice, and recognizing the equal rights of all men; claiming higher authority for existence, or sanction for its laws, that nature, reason, and the regularly ascertained will of the people; steadily refusing to put its sword and purse in the service of any religious creed or family is a standing offense to most of the Governments of the world, and to some narrow and bigoted people among ourselves.
F. Douglass
- Chmee
- Sith Marauder
- Posts: 4449
- Joined: 2004-12-23 03:29pm
- Location: Seattle - we already buried Hendrix ... Kurt who?
I have that crazy aunt ... she went from Catholic to agnostic to evangelical .... she knows better than to even hint at this stuff to my atheist mom, and she doesn't have my e-mail address.Mayabird wrote:Yeah, my crazy aunt (as opposed to my cool aunt, whom the crazy aunt hates because she divorced a Baptist preacher and discovered she was lesbian and is now in a much happier marriage-of-sorts with her wife) sends them to my mom all the time. She'd send them to me too but I make sure not to let her know my email address. We delete them like Strong Bad deletes stupid emails, but don't tell her to stop sending them. We figure the more time the woman spends finding stupid emails and forwarding them, the less she has to do things like harass my cool aunt.
All I could think when reading the OP was "Funny .... none of this is remotely funny."
[img=right]http://www.tallguyz.com/imagelib/chmeesig.jpg[/img]My guess might be excellent or it might be crummy, but
Mrs. Spade didn't raise any children dippy enough to
make guesses in front of a district attorney,
an assistant district attorney, and a stenographer.
Sam Spade, "The Maltese Falcon"
Operation Freedom Fry
Mrs. Spade didn't raise any children dippy enough to
make guesses in front of a district attorney,
an assistant district attorney, and a stenographer.
Sam Spade, "The Maltese Falcon"
Operation Freedom Fry
- DPDarkPrimus
- Emperor's Hand
- Posts: 18399
- Joined: 2002-11-22 11:02pm
- Location: Iowa
- Contact:
I've read a varient in which the gunmen tell off the remaining people about how stupid they are. No idea if I'll be able to find it, of course- the Christian versions always dominate the internet.*One Sunday morning during service, a 2,000 member congregation was surprised to see two men enter, both covered from head to toe in black and carrying submachine guns. One of the men proclaimed, "Anyone willing to take a bullet for Christ remain where you are."
*Immediately, the choir fled, the deacons fled, and most of the congregation fled. Out of the 2,000 there only remained around 20.
*The man who had spoken took off his hood, looked at the preacher and said "Okay Pastor, I got rid of all the hypocrites. Now you may begin your service. Have a nice day!" And the two men turned and walked out.
Mayabird is my girlfriend
Justice League:BotM:MM:SDnet City Watch:Cybertron's Finest
"Well then, science is bullshit. "
-revprez, with yet another brilliant rebuttal.
Justice League:BotM:MM:SDnet City Watch:Cybertron's Finest
"Well then, science is bullshit. "
-revprez, with yet another brilliant rebuttal.
- speaker-to-trolls
- Jedi Master
- Posts: 1182
- Joined: 2003-11-18 05:46pm
- Location: All Hail Britannia!
Oceania's certainly mellowed out a lot in the last 20 years if anyone would be able to send that messageMorilore wrote:-snip-
I've never understood why being prepared to die for your faith is considered a virtue, this quote pretty much sums it up for me
"If some muslim fundamentalist put a gun to my head and told me to renounce atheism I'd be praising Allah before he finished his sentence".
(someone on this board said that, I think it was DW but I'm not quite sure)
Post Number 1066 achieved Sun Feb 22, 2009 3:19 pm(board time, 8:19GMT)
Batman: What do these guys want anyway?
Superman: Take over the world... Or rob banks, I'm not sure.
Batman: What do these guys want anyway?
Superman: Take over the world... Or rob banks, I'm not sure.
- Morilore
- Jedi Master
- Posts: 1202
- Joined: 2004-07-03 01:02am
- Location: On a mote of dust suspended in a sunbeam.
Well, they'd have to invent email first, but if they did, I can see something like that coming right out of ++comradeobrien@minitrue.com every other day. Remember, the clear and horrible cognitive dissonance invoked by a persecution complex within an absolute ruling class is no challenge for the doubleplusdoublethinkful. There's nothing crimethinkful about it, isn't there...?speaker-to-trolls wrote:Oceania's certainly mellowed out a lot in the last 20 years if anyone would be able to send that message
"Guys, don't do that"
- wolveraptor
- Sith Marauder
- Posts: 4042
- Joined: 2004-12-18 06:09pm
Any time a Christian says "Bless you", I like to say, "I didn't sneeze."
"If one needed proof that a guitar was more than wood and string, that a song was more than notes and words, and that a man could be more than a name and a few faded pictures, then Robert Johnson’s recordings were all one could ask for."
- Herb Bowie, Reason to Rock
- Herb Bowie, Reason to Rock
-
- Jedi Master
- Posts: 1313
- Joined: 2003-08-06 05:44am
- Location: Whangaparoa, one babe, same sun and surf.
Re: Righteously indignant Christian chain emails
And now a word from our sponsers
Okay, learn to think for yourselves [/quote]*One Sunday morning during service, a 2,000 member congregation was surprised to see two men enter, both covered from head to toe in black and carrying submachine guns. One of the men proclaimed, "Anyone willing to take a bullet for Christ remain where you are."
*Immediately, the choir fled, the deacons fled, and most of the congregation fled. Out of the 2,000 there only remained around 20.
*The man who had spoken took off his hood, looked at the preacher and said "What the fuck is wrong with you loonies! This is a real AK-47."
The gunman ripped off a burst into the wall. "See. Pastor, these people need serious help. Have a nice day!" And the two men turned and walked out.
*Too deep not to pass on...
*Funny how simple it is for people to trash society .. and then wonder why the world is in the condition it is today..
*Funny how we believe what the Bible say, but question what the paper says.
*Funny how everyone wants to go to heaven and so refuses to give a shit about what's happening here and now.
*Funny or is it scary?
*Funny how someone can say "I believe in God" but still hate his fellow humans (who may also believe in God)
*Funny how you can send a thousand 'jokes' through e-mail and they spread like wildfire, but when you start sending messages regarding being tolerant, people think twice about sharing.
*Funny how the pious, self-righteous, idolatous and obscene pass freely through cyber space, but the public discussion of critical thought is suppressed in the school and work place.
*Funny, isn't it? Funny how someone can be so fired up for Christ on Sunday, and be an absolute shithead the rest of the week.
*Are you laughing?
*Funny how when you go to forward this message, you will not send it to many on your address list because you're not sure what they think, or whether they'll dob you in to your pastor for sending it to them.
*Funny how I can be more worried about what God thinks of me than what my neighbour thinks of me.
*Are you thinking? Will y ou share this with people you care about? Or not?
*I picked you~
My instructions were to send this to people that I wanted to start thinking and living for themselves and I picked you. Please pass this to people you want to think!!
Don't abandon democracy folks, or an alien star-god may replace your ruler. - NecronLord
- Castor Troy
- Jedi Knight
- Posts: 741
- Joined: 2005-04-09 07:22pm
- Location: The Abyss
- Zero
- Jedi Council Member
- Posts: 2023
- Joined: 2005-05-02 10:55pm
- Location: Trying to find the divide between real memories and false ones.
Lol. Well, we have to understand, to these people, we're in self-denial, and will spend an eternity in the torment of hell. For many of them, it isn't even about 'belief in god' as they were raised to be absolutely certain of the existance of such a being. For them, it's all about how much of your time you're willing to devote to your invisible best friend up in the sky. You can't question something that you're taught to accept before you gain accountability for your own thoughts and actions. I understand why they would send these crappy self-righteous e-mails, and I truly do feel quite sorry for them...
- wolveraptor
- Sith Marauder
- Posts: 4042
- Joined: 2004-12-18 06:09pm
Re: Righteously indignant Christian chain emails
*One Sunday morning during service, a 2,000 member congregation was surprised to see two men enter, both covered from head to toe in black and carrying submachine guns. One of the men proclaimed, "Anyone willing to take a bullet for Christ remain where you are."
*Immediately, the choir fled, the deacons fled, and most of the congregation fled. Out of the 2,000 there only remained around 20.
*They were all killed, their bodies oozing blood, perforated by hundreds of rounds of submachine gunfire. The gunman was reported to be heard muttering, "What a bunch of retards..." as he walked away from the scene.
*Too deep not to pass on...
*Stupid how simple it is for people to bomb each other .. and then wonder why the world is in the condition it is today..
*Stupid how we believe what the Bible say, but question what hard scientific research indicates.
*Stupid how everyone thinks following a 2000 year old book of misogynism, bigotry and hatred will lead to good.
*Stupid or is it scary?
*Stupid how someone can say "I believe in God" but still slaughter thousands of others (who also believe in God).
*Stupid how you can send a thousands of idiotic, religious chain-letters through e-mail and they spread like wildfire, but when you start sending messages regarding the logic, people think twice about sharing.
*Stupid how public discussion and endorsement of some hippie, Jewish dude who lived 2000 years ago is publically is accepted, but fairness to other religions in school and the workplace is surpressed.
*Stupid, isn't it? Stupid how someone can be so fired up for Christ on Sunday, but be an absolute asshole the rest of the week.
*Are you laughing? If so, then you are a complete jackass, and should die this very moment. I hope you grow up to have many children, and all of them are slaughtered by a serial killer, and their entrails are smeared down your abdomen. I hope your own ribs puncture your heart, and you die, and a thousand onagers shit on your grave.
*Stupid how when you go to forward this message, you will not send it to many on your address list because you're sure they're religious bigots, who'll spam you to kingdom come (ironically).
*Stupid how I can be more more worried about some invisible, intangible sky pixie than my fellow humans.
*Are you thinking? Will you share this with people who need it? Or not?
*I picked you~
My instructions were to send this to people who are total and complete idiots and I picked you. Aren't you proud of yourself? Please pass this on to your fellow morons.
"If one needed proof that a guitar was more than wood and string, that a song was more than notes and words, and that a man could be more than a name and a few faded pictures, then Robert Johnson’s recordings were all one could ask for."
- Herb Bowie, Reason to Rock
- Herb Bowie, Reason to Rock
- Durandal
- Bile-Driven Hate Machine
- Posts: 17927
- Joined: 2002-07-03 06:26pm
- Location: Silicon Valley, CA
- Contact:
Not a chain e-mail, but just a little piece of hate mail I got yesterday.
Some Moron wrote:Surely someone as 'wise' as you could not possibly believe that your brain has evolved by blind chance. Unfortunately, this seems to be the case. You are a 20-something year old person and you know everything.
There has to be a first cause. For what purpose would an infinitely small universe have to exist? You claim that the universe has always existed, yet scientists (not college students) have known for some time that the universe (space, time, and matter) had a beginning. In addition, there are problems with the evolutionary theory and the big bang theory. I am not a scientist; these are the brute facts, realized by thousands of scientists. Why do you think scientists are turning to God? Are you smarter than every scientist?
To believe that something nearly infinitely complex like DNA could evolve is utterly laughable. To believe that all of the systems vital to a 'new' animal's existence would simultaneously come into being is ridiculous.
As you know, evolution is taught in high schools around the country, despite the fact that there is no proof of this pseudo-science, and that it is only wishful thinking. I suspect atheists the world over have been brainwashed into believing this crap, and told to not worry about the problems with the evolutionary theory and big bang theory, because of course science has to be right, even though it's not real science.
Oh, look, here's a transitional fossil...oh sorry, my mistake. Haven't found one yet, atheist. Give me a few more thousand years, and I still won't find one. (Shouldn't you be digging around with the other atheist pseudo-scientists, trying to find proof of evolution?) I'll save you some time. You won't find any, either.
You seem to be very proud of your atheist quotations. Good for you. They prove nothing. How about a quote from scientists which indicate the mathematical impossibility of an accidental universe? How about a quote which states that life is much too complex to evolve by chance? This is precisely why some scientists embrace the panspermia hypothesis, though that doesn't explain where that life came from.
It's obvious that you found the idea of God to be utterly ridiculous, so you immediately trusted your gut feeling and became a permanent atheist. Unfortunately for you, it takes infinitely more faith to believe in random forces that create something from nothing than to believe in a Creator God. Your smugness and arrogance will not allow for that. Open your eyes, atheist.
You were right about one thing: the unsaved 'stamp' on your picture was right on the mark. If any of your friends or professors are atheists, tell them they're unsaved, too.
Damien Sorresso
"Ever see what them computa bitchez do to numbas? It ain't natural. Numbas ain't supposed to be code, they supposed to quantify shit."
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"Ever see what them computa bitchez do to numbas? It ain't natural. Numbas ain't supposed to be code, they supposed to quantify shit."
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Ad Hominem fallacy. What does it matter if he's 20 or 60 or 3? he can still be right. Furthermore, your own arrogance leads you to presume that since the brain seems so complex to YOU, it couldn't possibly have evolved by chance.Surely someone as 'wise' as you could not possibly believe that your brain has evolved by blind chance. Unfortunately, this seems to be the case. You are a 20-something year old person and you know everything.
Why? Also, red herring.There has to be a first cause
You assume that there is a reason everything happens. That's bullshit. Everything in the world is probably completely arbitrary. And again, red herring.For what purpose would an infinitely small universe have to exist?
No they don't. The universe has always existed, for as long has time has (if such a phrase is usable. Time is woven into the fabric of the universe, and there was no "before". Btw, nice Ad Hominem. College students constantly contribute to their fields. It's called a thesis. And yet again, red herring.You claim that the universe has always existed, yet scientists (not college students) have known for some time that the universe (space, time, and matter) had a beginning
Appeal to authority. Just because they're scientists, doesn't mean they're always right. Ever heard of Galileo? Furthermore, you fail to provide statistics that scientists are increasingly theistic. Even if they are, it has no bearing on the validity of atheism. Many scientists acknowledge the irrationality of believing in God, but continue to believe anyways, like Stephen Hawking. Also, the big bang is an observation, not a theory. Through the Dopler effect, we have observed galaxies receding. Rewind the clock and you find that about 15 billion years ago, all matter and space-time was at a single central point. And will you stop with the red herrings? The big bang relavent to the biological theory of evolution.In addition, there are problems with the evolutionary theory and the big bang theory. I am not a scientist; these are the brute facts, realized by thousands of scientists. Why do you think scientists are turning to God? Are you smarter than every scientist?
Strawman distortion. Evolution does not claim the simultaneous creation of DNA. Furthermore, that's abiogenesis, not evolution. And systems don't come into being to support animals. Animals evolve to the existing system, and can even change it.To believe that something nearly infinitely complex like DNA could evolve is utterly laughable. To believe that all of the systems vital to a 'new' animal's existence would simultaneously come into being is ridiculous
Folks, when your opponent starts spouting conspiracy theorist shit, you know he's rather pointless to debate. And when he doesn't even bother to proove bold assertions...well, I don't need to say much more.As you know, evolution is taught in high schools around the country, despite the fact that there is no proof of this pseudo-science, and that it is only wishful thinking. I suspect atheists the world over have been brainwashed into believing this crap, and told to not worry about the problems with the evolutionary theory and big bang theory, because of course science has to be right, even though it's not real science
List of transitional fossils:Oh, look, here's a transitional fossil...oh sorry, my mistake. Haven't found one yet, atheist. Give me a few more thousand years, and I still won't find one. (Shouldn't you be digging around with the other atheist pseudo-scientists, trying to find proof of evolution?) I'll save you some time. You won't find any, either.
Falcarius utahensis- An omnivorous missing link between the small, fierce predatory ancestors of therinzisaurs (and dromaeosaurids) and slow, lumbering vegetarian therinzisaurs proper
Lucy- A missing link between humans and their ape-like ancestor (though a more proper link would be something like Ramapithecus, one of the first apes to take up a plains-dwelling existence).
Archaeopteryx- The link between birds and dinosaurs.
Coelocanths + relatives (sp?)- The missing links between fish and amphibians.
Cynodonts- The transition between therapsids and mammals proper.
Alioramus- A possible early Tyrannosaur
...Undubitably, you will decry these all as either hoaxes or different species in their own right, and then will again ask for the transitionals. I demand that you define what a transitional form should be, and then I will provide suitable examples.
You lie. Only some extremely bullshit mathematics could come up with an answer to the question you pose. Time began when the universe began. There was no accidental cause.You seem to be very proud of your atheist quotations. Good for you. They prove nothing. How about a quote from scientists which indicate the mathematical impossibility of an accidental universe?
Show me that quote. All other such quotes have been shown to be bullshit. In reality, the first living organism was extremely simple, and they had an entire ocean and hundreds of millions of years to work with. Not surprising that life came up. Panspermia is a valid hypothesis as well, but you are correct in saying it simply shifts the origins of life to somewhere else.How about a quote which states that life is much too complex to evolve by chance? This is precisely why some scientists embrace the panspermia hypothesis, though that doesn't explain where that life came from.
Oy. How many times has this been said? Get it through your head: there is no evidence of your creator God. There is evidence that the Universe is guided by arbitrary law and chance.It's obvious that you found the idea of God to be utterly ridiculous, so you immediately trusted your gut feeling and became a permanent atheist. Unfortunately for you, it takes infinitely more faith to believe in random forces that create something from nothing than to believe in a Creator God.
I just like to smack these letters down for fun. I'm sure you've already written your own. I think you're lucky for getting hate-mail, somewhat. I don't get to do this often.
"If one needed proof that a guitar was more than wood and string, that a song was more than notes and words, and that a man could be more than a name and a few faded pictures, then Robert Johnson’s recordings were all one could ask for."
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You've obviously never seen my in-box. Here's a sample I received just yesterday:wolveraptor wrote:I think you're lucky for getting hate-mail, somewhat. I don't get to do this often.
Speaks for itself, really.Andy Gocke <agocke@gmail.com> wrote:wow youre really a closeminded dumbass arent you (bet you voted for bush). Yeah, im 14, big fucking deal. Im self taught and just passed my A+ certification test, so if you want me to rape your ass in C++, or any other computer related concepts, be my guest. In addition, you have got to be the STUPIDEST engineer i have ever met, cause "watts are a unit of power, not energy." is the craziest fucking bullshit i have ever heard. Power IS energy. There is one thing in the universe: matter/energy (proven that they are the same by the widely known E=MC2) and if electricity exists (dont try and bullshit your way through that one) then its gotta be either matter or energy in a certain form.
"It's not evil for God to do it. Or for someone to do it at God's command."- Jonathan Boyd on baby-killing
"you guys are fascinated with the use of those "rules of logic" to the extent that you don't really want to discussus anything."- GC
"I do not believe Russian Roulette is a stupid act" - Embracer of Darkness
"Viagra commercials appear to save lives" - tharkûn on US health care.
http://www.stardestroyer.net/Mike/RantMode/Blurbs.html
"you guys are fascinated with the use of those "rules of logic" to the extent that you don't really want to discussus anything."- GC
"I do not believe Russian Roulette is a stupid act" - Embracer of Darkness
"Viagra commercials appear to save lives" - tharkûn on US health care.
http://www.stardestroyer.net/Mike/RantMode/Blurbs.html