Top 10 Reasons Anakin Skywalker Joined the Dark Side

[Junghalli]

I'm going to take the opportunity to pimp this message that appeared on my own website's message board a few days ago. It seems sort of appropriate for this place.

1) The BIG, FINAL reason that clinched his decision to fall into Darkness: Palpatine PROMISED to NEVER call him "Annie"!

2) Sith at least don't forbid their adult members from engaging in consensual heterosexual relations. Never mind how likely one is to "get any" as a Sith Lord. At least if the opportunity DOES come, it isn't forbidden as among the Jedi.

3) Every Sith there ever was joined as an adult, having at least some informed idea what being a Sith entailed, rather than being inducted as a child into an order where, among other things, heterosexual relations would be forbidden to them when they grew up.

4) Jar Jar Binks was found to have latent Force ability, and was to be assigned as Anakin's Padawan.

5) After she and Anakin got married, Padme informed him she'd decided to go back to her old hairstyle.

6) The Jedi council initially issued him a pink lightsaber.

7) SpoilerHe figured he might as well, after decapitating Count Dooku, the previous Sith Lord besides Palpatine, thereby creating a possible once-in-a-lifetime opening. /Spoiler

8] With the Clone Wars drawing to a close, there was talk about downsizing on the Republic's side.

9) Palpatine always spoke plainly to him, rather than always speaking in riddles like Obi Wan.

10) Palpatine at least forms his sentences correctly, unlike Yoda, who on top of that still sounds like Grover from Sesame Street!

Spoiler Warning added~Bean

[Noble Ire]

Humorous, although several of these were jacked from a recent Foxtrot.

Oh, and number three is false, just check here:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainmen ... 989505.stm

[Solauren]

And with #2

Sith lords probably get tons of girls.

I mean, think about it

"I don't want to sleep with you"
Sith morality; hey, I don't have to take that
Hand wave: "Yes you do"
"Yes, I want to sleep with you"

[Civil War Man]

"I don't want to sleep with you"
Sith morality; hey, I don't have to take that
Hand wave: "Yes you do"
"Yes, I want to sleep with you"

I refer you to http://www.vgcats.com/comics/?strip_id=121

[Cykeisme]

But Lucas revealed that despite their monastic regime, Jedi were permitted to have sex.

"Jedi Knights aren't celibate - the thing that is forbidden is attachments - and possessive relationships."

So... Jedi are allowed to have random meaningless flings with each other/non-Jedi?

Hrm being a Jedi probably isn't so bad...

[SCVN 2812]

That list was almost entirely stolen from a Foxtrot comic that was in the papers a month or two back, still quite funny but not as funny as the comic itself.

[Imperator Galacticus]

Wouldn't wild passionate sex be forbidden? I mean, the Jedi philosophy doesn't seem to be based on sentiments of pleasure. That way also leads to the dark side.

[Kurgan]

Little known fact: The Jedi Code also permits the smoking of pot, so long as you don't inhale.

[The Guid]

One might put a Spoiler warning on this for Stravo due to #7 if he is as pure as he says he is/

[Cykeisme]

Wouldn't wild passionate sex be forbidden? I mean, the Jedi philosophy doesn't seem to be based on sentiments of pleasure. That way also leads to the dark side.

Hmm, isn't the stuff about passion ("There is no passion, only serenity") from the Jedi Code? Is the Jedi Code canon?
Besides, I think "passion" refers to abandoned displays of powerful emotions, namely fear, anger and hatred. Because they lead to suffering and all that.

Meanwhile, I think attachments are forbidden because of the possible devastating toll that loss might take on a Jedi. Anakin's two transgressions in this regard played a big part in his fall to the Dark Side.


As an aside, I'm also trying to remain completely spoiler free and dodge them when I can, but this message board is just too cool to stay away from

[Montcalm]

Not a spoiler since we hear it in the trailer.

I guess he joined the dark side after the Jedi screwed him by not giving him the rank of Jedi Master.

[Kurgan]

Yoda: Rank of Master we grant you little Annie...

Anakin: I wish you guys would stop calling me "Annie" but at least you finally gave me the rank of Master... I've worked so hard for this. Maybe Obi-Wan wasn't such a bad teacher after all. Man, this is gonna be so kick ass! Can I get my own purple lightsaber? Sweet! *pumps fist*

Yoda: Kneel...

*Anakin kneels before the Council*

Anakin: Kickasskickasskickasskickass...!

Mace: I hereby dub thee... *long pause* Master Bater!

*everyone laughs while he turns beet red*

Yoda: N00b you are, heheh!

Anakin: That's it, screw you guys!!!!

*ominously* I'll be back... *walks out in a huff*

Jedi Council members mutter in wonder at his last comment...

*SMASH! Anakin bursts through the Jedi Council room wall in a big-ass vehicle, Anhold style*

[Winston Blake]

6) The Jedi council initially issued him a pink lightsaber.

Anakin: It's not pink, it's a lightish red.

[Civil War Man]

6) The Jedi council initially issued him a pink lightsaber.

Anakin: It's not pink, it's a lightish red.

Yoda: A name for lightish red we have. Pink it is called.

[Karza]

6) The Jedi council initially issued him a pink lightsaber.

Anakin: It's not pink, it's a lightish red.

Yoda: A name for lightish red we have. Pink it is called.

I wish to thank you for this exchange. I laughed my ass off.

EDIT: "you" means everyone involved there. Just to avoid hurting anyone's feelings.

And a big "thank you" to Kurgan as well.

[Kurgan]

*after Anakin has slaughtered just about everyone in the room, except Yoda and Obi-Wan who miraculously escaped*

Anakin: Master Bater indeed! Jerks! Well I showed 'em. Hmmm (thinking), Master Bater... Bater... Waiter, Crater.. Vater... Vader..! that doesn't sound so bad, maybe I'll use it? Yeah... that's the ticket!

I shall be known as Master Vader! *snickering is heard in the back of the room*

Surviving Jedi: Master Vader, hahahahahhahaa...!

*Anakin kills him*

Anakin: Whew, glad that's over... Darn! I need a good name...

Palpatine (steps into the room, smiling): How about LORD Vader?

Anakin: Perfect!

[Cykeisme]

Now that we know that Jedi are not celibate, and considering the "Star Wars III, hottest actress??" thread, I'd have to say being inducted into the Jedi Order isn't a bad thing at all.

[Comosicus]

6) The Jedi council initially issued him a pink lightsaber.

Anakin: It's not pink, it's a lightish red.

Yoda: A name for lightish red we have. Pink it is called.

That's so much like the pink ship from Monkey Island 4. One of the funniest things in that game

[Kurgan]

I wonder if this is a popular misuse of the term "celibate" though...


Celibacy means "no marriage." It IMPLIES no sex also, but doesn't necessarily mean that. The Jedi could be celibate but think the One-Night-Stand is a time honored tradition for all we know.

If they also take a vow of chastity that means no sex either. If they took one and still did the nasty, then they would be being hypocritical.

If passion is okay, but attachment is not, the above would make more sense than saying, "they're not celibate! but they can't get married."

[Cykeisme]

Ahh, I'd subconsciously confused the words "celibate" and "chaste".
So Jedi are celibate, but not chaste... right?


Since they have no chasity vow yet prohibit attachments might have something to do with the fact that Padawans are often paired up with Masters of the same gender... partly to avoid attachments forming.

[wilfulton]

6) The Jedi council initially issued him a pink lightsaber.

Darth Vader still has a pink lightsaber.

Vader: GODDAMMIT IT'S NOT PINK!!! IT'S BRIGHT RED!!!

Could drive anyone up the wall


EDIT:
Vader *Crushes trachea of random officer in the wrong place at the wrong time.*