Silliest Fundie quote

[Gandalf]

I don't have the exact quote on hand, but for thinking I might be "queer", I was told that I was posessed by some sort of demonic being. Any denial on my part would just be proof that he was right because "devils love to work in the dark".

I think I posted the exact quote here somewhere in the past.

[Gandalf]

EDIT:

Here it is. We were discussing homosexuality. I'm Darth Manveru.

It's not entirely a choice, It's a possession by devil spirits. Darth Manveru, go ahead and deny it as vehemently as you want. Your denial will only strengthen my case, as devil spirits LOVE to work in the dark.

[HemlockGrey]

Wow. What can you do? He dropped The Bomb. It's the nuke. "Whatever you do will only strengthen my case." When someone has that mindset the only thing to do is walk off and leave them to their delusions. Or humiliate them in public. Either one is good.

[WacoKid]

"too many lives would be ruined? What about the fetus? Where is their choice? Apart from the minor detail that abortion is murder, it is also a very selfish act. Ok, shoot me down for saying this, i'm ready for it. So you were raped and now you're pregnant? Deal with it. So your daddy knocked you up? Deal with it. So your life/health is at risk? Deal with it. So the fact that someones life is at risk makes it ok to take a baby's life? makes no sense to me. Abortion just makes a mockery of life."
- Liam_, POD Warrior Forum

This is what makes me want to ignore the fact that I'm a pacifist and bash peoples' heads in until they resemble silly putty. My hand actually shook when I read this.

[wautd]

"too many lives would be ruined? What about the fetus? Where is their choice? Apart from the minor detail that abortion is murder, it is also a very selfish act. Ok, shoot me down for saying this, i'm ready for it. So you were raped and now you're pregnant? Deal with it. So your daddy knocked you up? Deal with it. So your life/health is at risk? Deal with it. So the fact that someones life is at risk makes it ok to take a baby's life? makes no sense to me. Abortion just makes a mockery of life."
- Liam_, POD Warrior Forum

This is what makes me want to ignore the fact that I'm a pacifist and bash peoples' heads in until they resemble silly putty. My hand actually shook when I read this.

They should geneticly engineer a facehugger and apply it to that guy. Getting chestbusted? Deal with it

[WacoKid]

That's a lot more evil and satisfying than wht I had planned. I bow to your wisdom.

[Dooey Jo]

There once were a fundy who wondered why we didn't get molecules turning into people or something. His words were along the lines of "so when the atom and the molecule marry, why isn't the baby a human". That was pretty silly.

And there's always the people that claim that T-rexes were herbivore because bears are omnivore. I didn't quite get their logic either.

And I don't know if she was a fundy but I remember back when they were preparing to bring down MIR, they asked random people what that thought about it, and this old woman was asked. She said that she felt sorry for the poor fish that were going get this big thing dropped on them (she thought the Russians could drop it on their own land instead). That was very silly. I haven't been able to forget it, that's how silly it is. "I feel sorry for the poor fish"

[General Zod]

while not exactly a fundie, i once had a dipshit on another board scream at me something like "well, using logic isn't the only way to win debates, you know!".

[Darth Wong]

Want some brutal fundie quotes? Check this out:

http://www.freeconservatives.com/vb/sho ... ge=1&pp=20

Do you think you have what it takes to be an evolutionist? Take this test and see. All of these principles of evolutionary science have been put forward by our evolutionist contributors.

1. You create a partial vacuum in a large cylinder. Into that vacuum you introduce a gas. What happens?

If you said, "The gas expands to fill the void, with roughly uniform molecular density," you understand science.

If you said the gas collects to form an incredibly dense, incredibly hot singularity, then explodes and creates a galaxy, you understand evolution.

2. Fred says he'll be out of town for six days. How long will Fred be out of town?

If you said 600 billion years, you understand evolution.

If you said six days you understand creation.

If you said, "That all depends on how a day is defined, and from what vantage point the day is viewed, six days could just as equally mean six million years," you understand Intelligent Design.

3. You put your hand on a door and find that it is hot. There is smoke billowing from under the door and the fire alarms are going off. What is your conclusion?

If you said, "There has to be a source of heat on the other side of the door, making it hot," you understand science.

If you said, "There doesn't need to be a heat source. The door can be hot if it damn well wants to," you understand evolution.

4. A ball sits on level ground. If nobody disturbs it and no force moves it, what happens?

If you said, "Nothing, the ball remains motionless," you understand the law of inertia.

If you said, "The ball can take off at any second of its own free will. It doesn't need a force to move it," you understand evolution.

5. You want to build a brick house, but you have no bricks, no source for bricks and no way of making bricks. How do you build the brick house?

If you said, "You can't, because you have to start with building materials to build a house," you understand science.

If you said, "Bricks can either form themselves from nothing or fall out of a black hole from a parallel universe," you understand evolution.

6. You have a canister of air compressed to 120 pounds per square inch. This means?

If you said, "Some form of air compressor was probably used to force the volume of air in the can to 120 psi," you understand science.

If you said, "The air could have seeped into the can and compressed itself without outside influence," you understand evolution.

7. You have a bowl of ice cream on the porch on a hot day. The ice cream is melting (in a constant state of decay). What will eventually happen?

If you said, "The ice cream will continue to melt because that is the natural process," you understand science.

If you said, "At the same time the ice cream is melting it is evolving and growing into an ice cream castle," you understand evolution.

8. You have a sealed jar of beans. Assuming the seal remains unbroken, what happens to the volume of beans?

If you said, "The volume of beans remains constant within the jar," you understand science.

If you said, "The number of beans in the jar may increase or decrease due to quantum mechanics," you understand evolution.

9. You eat a piece of the cake that is the best you ever had. The chef gladly gives you the recipe and tells you how he made it. What do you do?

If you said, "The one who created it has no reason to lie to me, so I will take him at his word unless proven false," you understand creation science.

If you said, "He said he made it a certain way, but I don't believe him. I think he did it another way, though I can't prove it," you understand evolution.

10. You have two purebred dogs, a male and female. Each one is a Shepherd. If they have puppies, what will the puppies be?

If you said, "Shepherd puppies," you understand science.

If you said, "Some member of the dog family, possible a purebred collie," you understand evolution.

So, how did you do? If you scored ten evolution answers, you rank right up there with our "educated and enlightened" bretheren. If you scored more than five evolution answers, you are coming along in your thinking. If your answers followed the scientific explanation, you must be an uneducated and ignorant person. So sayeth the gods of evolution. Let the pigeons be loosed!

Yes, people like this really exist.

PS. Thanks to Matt Canning who sent me the link to this insanity via E-mail for our amusement.

[wautd]

oh dear...

[wautd]

oops, no edit.

Anyway. Whats the big deal with fundies vs evolution? Why do they find it evil? Its not like evolution contradict a god right?

[Drunk Monkey]

oops, no edit.

Anyway. Whats the big deal with fundies vs evolution? Why do they find it evil? Its not like evolution contradict a god right?

The same exact reason the Catholic church hated Galileo, it shattered there small, inaccurate view of the world and humanity.

[The Grim Squeaker]

Want some brutal fundie quotes? Check this out:

http://www.freeconservatives.com/vb/sho ... ge=1&pp=20

Do you think you have what it takes to be an evolutionist? Take this test and see. All of these principles of evolutionary science have been put forward by our evolutionist contributors.

1. You create a partial vacuum in a large cylinder. Into that vacuum you introduce a gas. What happens?

If you said, "The gas expands to fill the void, with roughly uniform molecular density," you understand science.

If you said the gas collects to form an incredibly dense, incredibly hot singularity, then explodes and creates a galaxy, you understand evolution.

2. Fred says he'll be out of town for six days. How long will Fred be out of town?

If you said 600 billion years, you understand evolution.

If you said six days you understand creation.

If you said, "That all depends on how a day is defined, and from what vantage point the day is viewed, six days could just as equally mean six million years," you understand Intelligent Design.

3. You put your hand on a door and find that it is hot. There is smoke billowing from under the door and the fire alarms are going off. What is your conclusion?

If you said, "There has to be a source of heat on the other side of the door, making it hot," you understand science.

If you said, "There doesn't need to be a heat source. The door can be hot if it damn well wants to," you understand evolution.

4. A ball sits on level ground. If nobody disturbs it and no force moves it, what happens?

If you said, "Nothing, the ball remains motionless," you understand the law of inertia.

If you said, "The ball can take off at any second of its own free will. It doesn't need a force to move it," you understand evolution.

5. You want to build a brick house, but you have no bricks, no source for bricks and no way of making bricks. How do you build the brick house?

If you said, "You can't, because you have to start with building materials to build a house," you understand science.

If you said, "Bricks can either form themselves from nothing or fall out of a black hole from a parallel universe," you understand evolution.

6. You have a canister of air compressed to 120 pounds per square inch. This means?

If you said, "Some form of air compressor was probably used to force the volume of air in the can to 120 psi," you understand science.

If you said, "The air could have seeped into the can and compressed itself without outside influence," you understand evolution.

7. You have a bowl of ice cream on the porch on a hot day. The ice cream is melting (in a constant state of decay). What will eventually happen?

If you said, "The ice cream will continue to melt because that is the natural process," you understand science.

If you said, "At the same time the ice cream is melting it is evolving and growing into an ice cream castle," you understand evolution.

8. You have a sealed jar of beans. Assuming the seal remains unbroken, what happens to the volume of beans?

If you said, "The volume of beans remains constant within the jar," you understand science.

If you said, "The number of beans in the jar may increase or decrease due to quantum mechanics," you understand evolution.

9. You eat a piece of the cake that is the best you ever had. The chef gladly gives you the recipe and tells you how he made it. What do you do?

If you said, "The one who created it has no reason to lie to me, so I will take him at his word unless proven false," you understand creation science.

If you said, "He said he made it a certain way, but I don't believe him. I think he did it another way, though I can't prove it," you understand evolution.

10. You have two purebred dogs, a male and female. Each one is a Shepherd. If they have puppies, what will the puppies be?

If you said, "Shepherd puppies," you understand science.

If you said, "Some member of the dog family, possible a purebred collie," you understand evolution.

So, how did you do? If you scored ten evolution answers, you rank right up there with our "educated and enlightened" bretheren. If you scored more than five evolution answers, you are coming along in your thinking. If your answers followed the scientific explanation, you must be an uneducated and ignorant person. So sayeth the gods of evolution. Let the pigeons be loosed!

Yes, people like this really exist.

PS. Thanks to Matt Canning who sent me the link to this insanity via E-mail for our amusement.

Did they provide a reason as to why it's wrong\evolution?

Also the silliest Fundie action iv's seen is probably blind ignorance and a complete lack of any ability to understand a opposite viewpoint.
A.ka "Alright, that's a good point but youre wrong!!!"

[Darth RyanKCR]

oops, no edit.

Anyway. Whats the big deal with fundies vs evolution? Why do they find it evil? Its not like evolution contradict a god right?

The same exact reason the Catholic church hated Galileo, it shattered there small, inaccurate view of the world and humanity.

That may be incorrect. The book described in this link, http://pubs.acs.org/cen/books/8141/8141books.html says it was because Galileo insisted that only science has all the answers.

[General Zod]

oops, no edit.

Anyway. Whats the big deal with fundies vs evolution? Why do they find it evil? Its not like evolution contradict a god right?

The same exact reason the Catholic church hated Galileo, it shattered there small, inaccurate view of the world and humanity.

That may be incorrect. The book described in this link, http://pubs.acs.org/cen/books/8141/8141books.html says it was because Galileo insisted that only science has all the answers.

And. . . .how does that -not- shatter their small inaccurate view of the world again?

[Darth RyanKCR]

The same exact reason the Catholic church hated Galileo, it shattered there small, inaccurate view of the world and humanity.

That may be incorrect. The book described in this link, http://pubs.acs.org/cen/books/8141/8141books.html says it was because Galileo insisted that only science has all the answers.

And. . . .how does that -not- shatter their small inaccurate view of the world again?

Because the Church was not questioning the model he presented. They questioned whether science has all the answers or do you plan to say that science does have all the answers. He was basically saying that we don't need the church for anything anymore.

[Darth Wong]

Because the Church was not questioning the model he presented.

Oh really? Then why did they demand that he recant it?

They questioned whether science has all the answers or do you plan to say that science does have all the answers. He was basically saying that we don't need the church for anything anymore.

When it comes to determination of the nature of the physical universe, that is absolutely correct. Religion is utterly useless for that endeavour. We gave religion a shot, and after thousands of years it accomplished precisely jack shit. Now it's science's turn, and in a couple of centuries science has accomplished more than religion did after a few millenia.

[Darth RyanKCR]

Because the Church was not questioning the model he presented.

Oh really? Then why did they demand that he recant it?

They questioned whether science has all the answers or do you plan to say that science does have all the answers. He was basically saying that we don't need the church for anything anymore.

When it comes to determination of the nature of the physical universe, that is absolutely correct. Religion is utterly useless for that endeavour. We gave religion a shot, and after thousands of years it accomplished precisely jack shit. Now it's science's turn, and in a couple of centuries science has accomplished more than religion did after a few millenia.

You do know that religion founded the most hospitals? And quarentinning based on OT laws help stop the Black Plague?

[Frank Hipper]

Want some brutal fundie quotes? Check this out:

http://www.freeconservatives.com/vb/sho ... ge=1&pp=20

Couldn't help but notice that link isn't broken, Mike...hmmm.
An invitation?

[General Zod]

Because the Church was not questioning the model he presented.

Oh really? Then why did they demand that he recant it?

They questioned whether science has all the answers or do you plan to say that science does have all the answers. He was basically saying that we don't need the church for anything anymore.

When it comes to determination of the nature of the physical universe, that is absolutely correct. Religion is utterly useless for that endeavour. We gave religion a shot, and after thousands of years it accomplished precisely jack shit. Now it's science's turn, and in a couple of centuries science has accomplished more than religion did after a few millenia.

You do know that religion founded the most hospitals? And quarentinning based on OT laws help stop the Black Plague?

that changes the fact that the church actively spent centuries attempting to hold back scientific ideals and principles that contradicted it. . .how?

[Darth Wong]

You do know that religion founded the most hospitals?

Go into a hospital and remove all of their technology and science-derived procedures, and what do you have? A place where you go to die.

And quarentinning based on OT laws help stop the Black Plague?

Oh right, because nobody in the world would have ever thought of staying away from sick people unless the Bible said so

[Nephtys]

Religion also said that cats were the Devil's messengers, and slaughtered cats, causing rats to multiply at a greater rate than they would have, thus making the plague worse. *Yawn*. Try harder.

[Ender]

Because the Church was not questioning the model he presented.

Oh really? Then why did they demand that he recant it?

They questioned whether science has all the answers or do you plan to say that science does have all the answers. He was basically saying that we don't need the church for anything anymore.

When it comes to determination of the nature of the physical universe, that is absolutely correct. Religion is utterly useless for that endeavour. We gave religion a shot, and after thousands of years it accomplished precisely jack shit. Now it's science's turn, and in a couple of centuries science has accomplished more than religion did after a few millenia.

You do know that religion founded the most hospitals?

You do know that science is what makes hospitals capable of healing?

And quarentinning based on OT laws help stop the Black Plague?

Isolating those that are different worked in opur favor once. congratulatiosn on proving that a stopped clock is right twice a day.

[Zero]

That may be incorrect. The book described in this link, http://pubs.acs.org/cen/books/8141/8141books.html says it was because Galileo insisted that only science has all the answers.

And. . . .how does that -not- shatter their small inaccurate view of the world again?

Because the Church was not questioning the model he presented. They questioned whether science has all the answers or do you plan to say that science does have all the answers. He was basically saying that we don't need the church for anything anymore.

Science has usefull answers. Religion, however, has inspired hatred, war, ignorance, and tried to slow progress as much as possible. No matter what you claim, religion has done nothing for the world in any realistic manner, and science has done many things. What answers does religion hold, except for bullshit?

[Nephtys]

Science has usefull answers. Religion, however, has inspired hatred, war, ignorance, and tried to slow progress as much as possible. No matter what you claim, religion has done nothing for the world in any realistic manner, and science has done many things. What answers does religion hold, except for bullshit?

To be fair, Religion does have a purpose. It's an opiate of the masses, and does promote many good things. However, this ends the instant people begin to preach their beliefs are the only true way to be, and that everyone should join them, because their book said so. Of course, if you think that getting faith healing instead of say... a heart bypass... well. Good for you. The rest of us would rather live.

Religion has historically slowed progress greatly, yes. It holds zero answers about the world around us, yes. It does however, provide psychological support for those who really need it. Good for them.