Reason enough to never become a Mormon

Superman · Post by **Superman** » 2005-06-20 08:49am

Ford Prefect · Post by **Ford Prefect** » 2005-06-20 09:16am

Saved! That is quite easily the funniest thing I've heard since Zim took off Drangon Ball Z. Should we be afraid that it was by Janeen Brady and the Bright Singers?

Superman · Post by **Superman** » 2005-06-20 10:50am

Ford Prefect wrote:Saved! That is quite easily the funniest thing I've heard since Zim took off Drangon Ball Z. Should we be afraid that it was by Janeen Brady and the Bright Singers?

It almost sounds like something from Monty Python, but I think its serious...

Noble Ire · Post by **Noble Ire** » 2005-06-20 01:54pm

This is serious?

Hawkwings · Post by **Hawkwings** » 2005-06-20 05:41pm

incredible...

"I'm a mormon, I'm better than you!"

good for laughs

Col. Crackpot · Post by **Col. Crackpot** » 2005-06-20 05:57pm

those crazy catholics have the mormons beat!

http://www.ewtn.com/series/mylittleangels/index.asp

General Zod · Post by **General Zod** » 2005-06-20 07:01pm

That Mormon song frightens me on so many levels it's not even funny. . .

Enforcer Talen · Post by **Enforcer Talen** » 2005-06-20 07:09pm

Very sad.

SPOOFE · Post by **SPOOFE** » 2005-06-20 07:12pm

but I think its serious...

Nope.

SPOOFE · Post by **SPOOFE** » 2005-06-20 07:12pm

Mormons don't call themselves "Mormons".

Majin Gojira · Post by **Majin Gojira** » 2005-06-20 08:42pm

What do they call themselves

Imperial Overlord · Post by **Imperial Overlord** » 2005-06-20 08:45pm

It's the Church of Latter Day Saints. Guess who the saints are?

Yep, a modest bunch.

Nephtys · Post by **Nephtys** » 2005-06-20 09:14pm

Imperial Overlord wrote:It's the Church of Latter Day Saints. Guess who the saints are?

Yep, a modest bunch.

Well, more accurately, they're the Church of Jesus Christ... and Latter-Day Saints. Putting JC's name there apparently is the equivilent of a big flag with the words 'We're not that crazy!' printed on them.

Still better than 'The Church of Jesus Christ, and Latter-Day Men with Magic Hats'.

Knife · Post by **Knife** » 2005-06-20 09:43pm

SPOOFE wrote:Mormons don't call themselves "Mormons".

They don't like the 'LDS' moniker either anymore. The grand pappys at the 'church' told them not to like it a year or two ago. Now they're just the 'church of jesus christ'.

Kuroneko · Post by **Kuroneko** » 2005-06-20 09:57pm

Imperial Overlord wrote:It's the Church of Latter Day Saints. Guess who the saints are? ... Yep, a modest bunch.

True. However, it was not an invention of the Mormons--the labelling of 'saints' (us) and 'strangers' (everyone else) originated with the Puritans, and as it happens, Joseph Smith's ancestry had strong Puritan roots.

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2005-06-20 10:01pm

Silly songs are nothing. Have you ever tried reading some of the diatribes written by these so-called latter-day saints? They're hilarious; I still remember the one where one of the church elders admonished the young people that it's a sin to have a passionate kiss before marriage. Apparently, a peck on the cheek is OK.

Ford Prefect · Post by **Ford Prefect** » 2005-06-21 07:06am

Every mormon I know is sane and normal. And they also call themselves mormons.

Wong is right though (when is he wrong?). I sat down one day to read some of their small magazines. After having a wtf mate moment I laughed. And laughed. And asked a catholic priest about it and he said to ignore them and they'll go away (which rates slighty under the archbishop around town telling my class that no, creation did not happen the way it says in the bible.)

The best one I read though was about fortune telling, horoscopes, ecetera. It suggested you burn everything vaguely related to it.

Nephtys · Post by **Nephtys** » 2005-06-21 10:40am

Mormon leaflets are hilarious, yes. One I read when a Mormon showed up to ask for donations claimed millions of their own died in the holocaust. I looked and blinked. It seems they like to claim dead jews as their own...

SPOOFE · Post by **SPOOFE** » 2005-06-21 04:01pm

It seems they like to claim dead jews as their own...

They believe that both the Jews and themselves are the "Chosen People". They have a custom of retroactive baptism ("baptism for the dead" or "baptism by proxy") in which they basically inundate long-dead ancestors of living members into the church. They believe it's the only way to get the highest rewards in the afterlife.

They got some goofy beliefs and customs. The song in the OP ain't one of 'em.

Imperial Overlord · Post by **Imperial Overlord** » 2005-06-21 05:40pm

SPOOFE wrote:
It seems they like to claim dead jews as their own...
They believe that both the Jews and themselves are the "Chosen People". They have a custom of retroactive baptism ("baptism for the dead" or "baptism by proxy") in which they basically inundate long-dead ancestors of living members into the church. They believe it's the only way to get the highest rewards in the afterlife.

They got some goofy beliefs and customs. The song in the OP ain't one of 'em.

The retroactive baptism is why the mormons have such great geneological databases. They need them in order to get their own ancestors into heaven. Silly, but the rest of us can use them and they are the world's best at it.

Nephtys · Post by **Nephtys** » 2005-06-21 09:44pm

SPOOFE wrote:
It seems they like to claim dead jews as their own...
They believe that both the Jews and themselves are the "Chosen People". They have a custom of retroactive baptism ("baptism for the dead" or "baptism by proxy") in which they basically inundate long-dead ancestors of living members into the church. They believe it's the only way to get the highest rewards in the afterlife.

They got some goofy beliefs and customs. The song in the OP ain't one of 'em.

Since of course, God goes and picks up the record-book from the Mormon Church every thursday, along with the checks to cash.

Col. Crackpot · Post by **Col. Crackpot** » 2005-06-21 09:54pm

SPOOFE wrote:
It seems they like to claim dead jews as their own...
They believe that both the Jews and themselves are the "Chosen People". They have a custom of retroactive baptism ("baptism for the dead" or "baptism by proxy") in which they basically inundate long-dead ancestors of living members into the church. They believe it's the only way to get the highest rewards in the afterlife.

They got some goofy beliefs and customs. The song in the OP ain't one of 'em.

Wow. And to think that all this time we belived that only Chicago Democrats counted the dead as their own.

Galvatron · Post by **Galvatron** » 2005-06-21 10:23pm

CommanderRazor · Post by **CommanderRazor** » 2005-06-21 10:41pm

Freaky, just freaky...

Reminds me of something that happened to a friend of mine about a week ago, actually.

He had just moved into his new appartment, when , you guessed it, a group of Mormons show up on his doorstep. And not just the usual conversion team either, but a gaggle of cute girls ages ranging from late teens to mid-twenties, I think he said there was about4-5 of of them. He's a Christian, but of his own odd variety, so he decided to screw with them a bit.

He let 'em in, let them explain things to him that he already knew of (he makes it a point to study world religions), and then he told them that he didn't believe in them and their stuff, that yes he was in the Army (they deduced it), yes he was infantry, yes he had killed people, yes he drank beer and smoked, but he was still Christian. He baited them basically.

Long story short he systematically made each of the women look like complete idiots, catching them in logic traps left and right. One was impressed, the other enraged, the other sort of defeated and sullen, and the other hitting on him in an attempt top win him over, saying things like "You know, a person can meet lots of nice young people at the Church." He holds up his hand, shows his engagement ring and says, "Nice try."

In the end he showed them the door and told them to "...at least know your own religion. I was starting to thin that I was dealing with Jehovah's Witnesses. Geeze..."

Arancia a Orologia · Post by **Arancia a Orologia** » 2005-06-21 11:00pm

Why would you not want to become a member of a religion that revolves around the worship of the angel Moroni?

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