Lord Gates vs. Star Trek and Starwars.

Post by **The Yosemite Bear** » 2005-06-22 05:17am

the computers of a major warship of each franchise experiance the dreaded "Blue Screen of DEATH" what's the worst that can happen?

The Grim Squeaker · Post by **The Grim Squeaker** » 2005-06-22 05:30am

Star trek- extend the holo deck and slaughter everyone on board, self destruct etc...

SW- shut down shields, weapons and artificial gravity. (Based on the hacks performed in the X-wing series)

Lord of the Abyss · Post by **Lord of the Abyss** » 2005-06-22 01:43pm

Trek : Main comupter achieves self awareness, goes megalomanical and tries to conquer the galaxy.

Wars : Onboard security systems fail, and droids download Sith historical archives and ritually sacrifice the organic crew to the Dark Side.

FedRebel · Post by **FedRebel** » 2005-06-22 03:45pm

The Yosemite Bear wrote:the computers of a major warship of each franchise experiance the dreaded "Blue Screen of DEATH" what's the worst that can happen?

Trek: antimatter containment fails and the ship blows up

Wars: Ship is dead in space til the captain can talk to M$ technical support

Noble Ire · Post by **Noble Ire** » 2005-06-22 03:47pm

Wars: Ship is dead in space til the captain can talk to M$ technical support

Crew starves to death while the Captain is on hold.

Chmee · Post by **Chmee** » 2005-06-22 03:54pm

"Apology accepted, support supervisor Rajiv ...."

Jalinth · Post by **Jalinth** » 2005-06-22 05:08pm

Chmee wrote:"Apology accepted, support supervisor Rajiv ...."

And then the MS support will really give them the royal treatment. Put them on hold with Celine Dion music mixed with Barney for 36 hours straight. Enough to make even the toughest Sith beg for mercy.

EmperorMing · Post by **EmperorMing** » 2005-06-22 10:57pm

Jalinth wrote:
Chmee wrote:"Apology accepted, support supervisor Rajiv ...."
And then the MS support will really give them the royal treatment. Put them on hold with Celine Dion music mixed with Barney for 36 hours straight. Enough to make even the toughest Sith beg for mercy.

Dam! That's worse than being in a Klingon Agonizer booth...

Lancer · Post by **Lancer** » 2005-06-23 10:35am

EmperorMing wrote:
Jalinth wrote:
Chmee wrote:"Apology accepted, support supervisor Rajiv ...."
And then the MS support will really give them the royal treatment. Put them on hold with Celine Dion music mixed with Barney for 36 hours straight. Enough to make even the toughest Sith beg for mercy.
Dam! That's worse than being in a Klingon Agonizer booth...

*sigh*

Klingons have agonizer-sticks. It's the Terran Empire that has Agonizer Booth technology.

TimothyC · Post by **TimothyC** » 2005-06-23 10:44am

Matt Huang wrote:
Klingons have agonizer-sticks. It's the Terran Empire that has Agonizer Booth technology.

It's Pain Sticks for the Klingons.

Chmee · Post by **Chmee** » 2005-06-23 11:06am

That bellow of anger and pain that Vader uttered when Luke got his first lightsabre hit on him in ESB .... we'll be hearing that a lot when Lord Vader is on the phone with M$ support .....

Lancer · Post by **Lancer** » 2005-06-23 11:10am

Lords of the MicroSith...

Drunk Monkey · Post by **Drunk Monkey** » 2005-06-23 01:28pm

MicroBorg Windows 98!

Stability is irrelevant!
We will add your currency to our own.
Resistance is futile.

Bounty · Post by **Bounty** » 2005-06-23 01:43pm

Analysis of the possibility of using Microsoft as an offensive weapon against the Borg.

The 2367 experiment of using Windows 95 as the Enterprise's OS.

Argosh · Post by **Argosh** » 2005-06-23 03:02pm

Death Star I has a shipwide spacing of occupants instead of a toilet flush.

Lancer · Post by **Lancer** » 2005-06-23 04:07pm

Windows might actually be ideal for the Empire to use. They certainly have the raw processing power to waste, and all those backdoors for the Emperor to use in case of disloyalty...

Post by **The Yosemite Bear** » 2005-06-23 10:59pm

or for the rebels to use...

commnece primary ignition
erm govenor Tarkin, it appears that an R2 unit uploaded a virus, we are unable to access the superlaser utility at this time.

Duckie · Post by **Duckie** » 2005-06-24 01:59am

Windows would not be ideal for any Star Wars ship that was even using an ounce of engine power:

"InertialCompensator52.exe has committed an illegal operation and must shut down. We are sorry for the inconvenience.
=Okay="

And then the full force of thousands of Gs of acceleration is brought to bear on the ship/

darthdavid · Post by **darthdavid** » 2005-06-24 02:12am

Trek: SIF.exe has commited an illegal operation and must be shut down. Please contact your system administrator if thsi problem persists.
(ship falls to bits)
----____----____----
Wars: Commence primary ignition. Are you sure you wan't to commence primary ignition? It may cause explosions. Yes. Are you sure you're sure? Yes. Positive? Yes. 'Cause if you don't want to it's ok you know... BLOW UP THE DAMN PLANET ALREADY!!! So that's a yes right? (ad infinitum)

Stark · Post by **Stark** » 2005-06-24 03:04am

'Make the jump to lightspeed'
*beep* 'Please fill in a few facts about yourself to complete hyperspace activation.'

*trying to get a bead on a TIE*
*purple gorilla starts capering and gamboling across targeting display*
'What the FUCK? Get off my screen you creepy bastard!'

'Fire at will, commander!'
'A new version of Imperial Messenger is available. You must download this update to continue. Do you want to update?'
*Emperor dies of embarrassment*

Vanas · Post by **Vanas** » 2005-06-24 01:49pm

Welcome to Windows StarFleet. Please click 'Start' to begin

*clicks Start*

Critical Error: AMContain.exe has suffered a critical fault and will be shut down. If this fault persists, contact your vendor.

Critical Error: SIF.exe has suffered a critical fault and will be shut down. If this fault persists, contact your vendor.

Critical Error: CoreContain.exe has suffered a critical fault and will be shut down. If this fault persists, contact your vendor.

Critical Error: EarlGrey,Hot.tea has suffered a critical fault and will be shut down. If this fault persists, contact your vendor.

Please re-boot starship. [Y/N]

----

Welcome to Windows Pacification Wizard
It looks like you are attempting to pacify a planet. Would you like to:
- Crush all rebellion
- Launch an orbital bombarment
- Forfeit this planet (Choking hazard)
- Ask Command for more options

*click*

Critical Error: HTurboL.exe has suffered a critical fault and will be shut down. If this fault persists, contact your vendor.

Critical Error:HDrive.ngn has suffered a critical fault and will be shut down. If this fault persists, contact your vendor.

Critical Error: Shields.sys has suffered a critical fault and will be shut down. If this fault persists, contact your vendor.

Please re-boot starship. [Y/N]

Perseid · Post by **Perseid** » 2005-06-24 05:02pm

Windows Imperial Version:

'Lock all weapons onto that Star Cruiser!'

'Sir, theres a problem with the targeting computer'

'What is it?'

'Theres an annoying paper clip asking me 20 questions about if I want to open fire'

*Star Destroyer gets owned by Mon Cal cruiser that wasn't using a MS OS*

----------------------------------------------

Windows SF Version:

*Computer gets infected with Borg drones*

'WE ARE MICROSOFT, PRESS Ctrl*Alt*Delete, RESISTANCE IS... we applogise your collective annoucement has crashed please download the latest update from your nearest sub space transceiver'

Karza · Post by **Karza** » 2005-06-29 05:00am

In Star Wreck V: Lost Contact captain Pirk used Windows 95 to disable the Korg cube's ability to adapt, and Win95 was described as being the most destructive computer virus ever created, so I guess we have canon evidence that Windows has a devastating effect on Trek systems

.

The Grim Squeaker · Post by **The Grim Squeaker** » 2005-06-29 05:04am

Karza wrote:In Star Wreck V: Lost Contact captain Pirk used Windows 95 to disable the Korg cube's ability to adapt, and Win95 was described as being the most destructive computer virus ever created, so I guess we have canon evidence that Windows has a devastating effect on Trek systems .

the XP strain could crash a Culture mind

The Borg were probably so succesful because they used a grid based Unix to pool all their computing power together, thus increasing in power expotentially until "Windows is futile".

Instant Sunrise · Post by **Instant Sunrise** » 2005-07-01 02:43am

My bet is either the ISD fails with:

That, or "Kernel Panic in module HyperDrive"

StarDestroyer.Net BBS

Lord Gates vs. Star Trek and Starwars.

Lord Gates vs. Star Trek and Starwars.

Re: Lord Gates vs. Star Trek and Starwars.