Remember "the marshall"?

[Darth Wong]

Remember "the marshall"? I banned him because I was absolutely certain that he could not be for real, because nobody could possibly act that stupid unless he's just trying to mock Trekkies. It turns out that he may be for real after all, because he's been bombarding me with E-mail. The first one is filled with completely unsupported claims about Trek superiority, of course:

Name: Ethan Westgate
E-Mail: ewestgate@tamzen.com
Subject: Invation of the Federation

hi i would like to apologise in advance for any misspeling i do its a promblom but hey im working on it
now i found the artical on the invation of the Federation rather farfetched but first off i would like to state that im not a phd or have even gone to collegd so dont fry me on some stupid things i might say about sience(given my more elimentery understanding of it)
now on to the flaws in you plan:
1 earth has had and continues to have a large fleet in the sol system after wolf359
2 if you wach the show in wich we see a large fleet battle you will see far more then a dozen ships in fact in one of the shows(i cant remenber wich one) they mention that the alied fleet is more then 100 capital ships strong
3 the federation has fore the most part developed a strong alliance with the other major powers in the alpha quadrent such as the romulans and the klingons
4 there are(to my knolege) still multi-race fleets still trolling around the alpha quadrent and this would mean that the full force of the major races would be put on a small attack force
5 since the dominion war the federation has been far more willing to use force
6 we see in a show that the starfleet acadmy stands as the millita for earth and the ulcans have a strong defence force
7 while the fderation may not have planitary shields they do have space stations wich placed in orbit along with defence platforms the planet would be equaly invulnorable
8 the empire has not been in a major war in almost 20 years(ie the clone war) the rebel alliance being a mostly terrorest orginisation
9 a fleet engangment would end in a defete for the empire becouse of the fact that the shield system on trek ships is more efective(thses statments are based on sites in the movie and shows not on fluff) and the federation phaser tech is all round the ship not on individual mounts meanting that a running battle is far more easy for the feds the it is for the empire
10 you are quick to point out that the fighter is dangerus to other fighters and to capital ships(and the feds have fighter bombers too) dispite there small size but at the same time you critisize the federation for having small ships whats up with that
11 the feds are more likly with there allies to bored the empires ships and since most fed and trek technology is disinged for the ship battle i think that the trekies would have a distinked advantige(note my idea of ship bording is not to take over the ship but to gain acses to key arias and to place bombes and destroy them like weapons or engins
12 the depth of the federation(the resorses of a singal continaent much less a planet is no laphing matter) w combined with the frequent patrols the feds have means it would be difficult ideed to get inside the federation much less to earth with the feds piking you up
finaly point 13:
if your fleet came across any cloak equipt ship that ship could follow your fleet indefinitly and a hole fleet of cloaked ships could do hit and run assaults on you fleet readying in for the final assault by the main fleet.
thank you for taking the time to lisen to my objections to your "invation of the federation"
Ethan Westgate


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As usual, it's almost incomprehensible. The second one is in the same vein, but with some ground combat claims added (he apparently thinks that the iron sights on a gun are located on the shoulder stock).

Name: Ethan Westgate
E-Mail: ewestgate@tamzen.com
Subject: trekkie combat

you say this in senario 2:

After taking significant damage, the USS Ming and its support vessels finally manage to cripple or destroy the TIE fighters. Its sensors are blinded by the big ship's dense dura-armour and the radiation venting from its damaged reactor. It has no specialized hull-breaching attack pods or assault vessels, so its only option is to find a way to transport men inside. The bridge tower isn't as thickly armoured as the main hull, so the Ming's captain decides to try a bridge insertion. They repeatedly blast the armour at the back of the bridge tower, eventually opening enough breaches that they can get partial scans of the bridge area. The Ming moves close to minimize the danger from interference, and then it begins the hazardous operation of blindly transporting men inside.

and my respons is:.... we have already asdablished that the phaser is more capible of damege then the blaster and we know that the phaser can have a extended beam so the super armour would be renderd ussles and the weapons dont have as much super armour as the hull it self so the weapons would be severly dameged and tie fighters cant be launched manualy they need the luanching system and since the star destroyer has no power they couldent luanch the fighters and without the sensors the bridge crew wouldent see the "ming" untill it was almost on top of them and the traspoters could then beam heavaly equipt marines on to the brige and cill any brige crew that resisted becouse the movies show that brige crew dont carry weapons
next subject":
you say:

The Type III's destructive power is similar to that of the Type II hand phaser, but its ergonomics have been upgraded from "excruciatingly, offensively, mind-numbingly bad" to "pretty damned bad". While it shares the Type II's inexcusable lack of sights or scopes, it does improve upon the Type II's awful handle and trigger group by reverting to a traditional design. However, its firing characteristics are seemingly identical to those of the Type II, so its only advantage would seem to be in the area of ergonomics, sensor suites, and perhaps ammunition capacity. When disassembled, the weapon appears to have a short emitter buried in the tip which is identical to a Type II phaser, thus lending credence to this evaluation. Furthermore, the weapon is designed to be held low and fired from the hip, as evidenced by the lack of a shoulder stock. A human being can't accurately aim a gun without being able to stabilize one end or the other, so when both the rear grip and fore grip are stabilized solely by arm strength, he'll never be able to hit anything beyond 50-100 metres no matter how accurate the gun itself is. Moreover, the natural posture is always to hold a gun low, unless it has a solid or folding stock which can be steadied against your shoulder. That's why real-life rifles always have a shoulder stock, and that's why this gun, while not as ergonomically crippled as the awful Type II handgun, is still going to hinder a soldier's accuracy rather than helping it.

and i say:
there are shot-guns with out stocks and a stock was not disinend initialy as a targeting place thats why on modern guns the sight is on the carring handle the stock was made to make shur the gun dident fly out of you hands when the recoil hit since there is no evidance of any recoil in any phaser techknology it seems that the perpose of having a stock is nolonger a problom and i seem to remember several diferent shows that have these no-stock-guns and last time i cheked the blaster carried by the storm troopers dont have stocks and they dont seem to even be able to hit a stationary target(see Starwars a new hope) and even the ones that do have the stocks dont seem to be able to hit any thing at all where as the feds can (with a seten amount of dificuty granted) hit moving targets
ext subject:
you said:

one could replace the Romulans in this scenario with pretty much anybody, from the Klingons to the Cardassians, the Dominion, the Breen, and yes, the Empire.

and

The USS Defiant crosses the Neutral Zone and enters the system under cloak. It beams down a team of 20 men along with an equipment crate to the surface. Each man hits the ground running, but he can't see any of the other team members! The Romulans had a transport scattering field in place (which anyone with a tractor beam could make), and the men have been been scattered all over Hell's half acre. One by one, they meet up at a pre-arranged rallying point. 2 men are missing after three hours and presumed dead, probably from being randomly transported into a solid object. One man has a broken leg from materializing 15 feet above the ground. They put his leg in a splint, and they have no idea where the equipment crate is, so they have to work without it.

and i say:
if i replace romulan with empire then the second quote is displaed as the empire has no traspoters or trasporting disrupters for that matter and it seems unlikly that the diffiant will just send one team the most likly situation in real life is:
the first team lands in a speacial shuttle that will be invisible to all sensors they land and sucurre the DZ an contact the diffiant and they send down two other teams the teams form up and make there way to the target and two teams take out guards on the east, west and south walls the other team enters the west wall and kiling a few nosey guards they set up a number of explosives. the two other teams sett up hologram emitters that will make fake guards for any one passing by then they make there way to the prisinors and free them killing any guards on the way making there way out of the prison by way of the south wall they head twards the shuttle the third team leaves and reraches the target as the guards relise there prisinors are gone but befor they can do anything the third team disroys the base and leavs with the rest of the team in the shuttle.

ps i am not a super trekkie im just a fan and i just think that the empire would have a harder time winning then you say they would especaly in space


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And yet more (this time he's apparently quoting from that "federation strategy guide" page I did for fun a few years back):

Name: Ethan Westgate
E-Mail: ewestgate@tamzen.com
Subject: you are flawed

Ever since the Imperial presence was leaked to the public, there have been many among the civilian population who have openly asked why we have not asked the Q for help. However, while this has never been revealed to the public, we have asked for their help on numerous occasions26, and they invariably refused, even when our difficulties were caused by their own actions27. They did not help during the first and second Borg attacks28, and they did not help during the entire Dominion War. We cannot foresee them changing their policy now.

well clearly you dont wach much startrek becouse theres a show on voyiger that says that a Q did help us and the dominion war was a DS9 thing and the Q dont just come top our beck and call however i think that Q having a liking to Picard
might just take a minisecond to ERASE the entire empire and the borge please come on startrek has killed the queen almost 4 times and she still comes back i dont think that any thing the empire has is gona help and one more thing the transwarp conduates are in subspace thus invunerable to any weapon that effects real space and unless the empire comes from an entirly organice dimention the empires weapons wouldent have any more effect then the feds and in case you dident know most of the races that are in the delta quadrent are very far away from borg space and in my opinion the borg dont care about space and they will leave any less advanced race alone plus we dont know the size of the empires galixcy it could be half or a quarter the size of the milky way we know that dwarf galixys exsist and we never actualy see exactly how long it takes to cross in hyperspace and we never see any ships going from one end to unother thats an usuption. and man your always towting the amount of ships that the empire has but they cant deploy ALL of that in one mission that would open up so many places like curiscont quat dives sinar drives and all the others and numbers cant always win and if you put all you ships in one big fleet they can only go to one system at a time where as me and my fifty can go to fifty times the places and thats just the fed fleet if i got all the ships in the alpha quadrent thats almost a 500 fleets(counting all the other nonmajor races like the bolians and others like the niberite alliance) each cappible of retaking any teritory you choos to conquer and if you leave some ships behind ill just consintrate five fleets and out number you 100 to one and the thought that the dominion wouldent come to is fualty becouse odos there and he likes the feds and the fleet that was destroyd was MADE to come to alpha quadrent it dident effect the dominion as a hole and im just going to list the races that could go toe to toe with an empire ship:
the Federation(of corse) with many well built ships and well trained and battle hardend veterans the federation is a dangerus foe
the Klingon Empire the empire has many ships and all of them are disined for war all there soldiers count among the best in the infantry of the milky way galixcy
the Romulan Empire the romulans have one of the most powerfull fleets in the alpha quadrent and have exstensive holdings in the beta and have an effetive millitary with a seperet army complete with air support(wich no other race in startrek has see startrek nemmisis)plus the romulans have a better death star(ie the death star is a weapon of fear it was built to intimidate its enemy the theleron weapon is a weapon of war it is disigned to kill all the pepal on any given planet and keep the infostruter around and they have clokes nobody can detect so they could be siting in orbit around quat and you wold never no it cos the empire dont have a tacion field around there space and you dont have any telipaths cos you killed all the jedi
the dominion the dominion has many preduction facillitys that would not be attacked by the empire becouse of the fact that the dominion has all of its cloning facillitys and ship yards in the gamma quadrent and there gemhadar are very well trained devoted and live only for battle they produce as fast or faster then the empire
the borg the borg shields are impervos to any energy weapon once they have addaptid and the feds only knew how after having a borg for a captin and the borge have numerus ships carring vast amounts of man power and as soon as they came in contact with the empire the very troop sent to fight them could very well be killing there best freind the next week
the Q ovisily the Q just have to think and the empire is gone like that and no amount of death stars is goiong to stop that
so now you see that the startrek univers could kick the royal ass of the empire


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And the fourth one (I swear each one gets dumber than the last):

Name: Ethan Westgate
E-Mail: ewestgate@tamzen.com
Subject: trek would win and you know it

god man you are messed up (use sarcatic voice when reading this)"we starwars fans know that we travel faster then the warp drive cous it only took five minuets to get from tatoine to curiscunt" well buddy in that way it only took voyger a cuple of seasons worth of 30 miniuts to ge from one end of the galixcy to onother and we dont know how big the empire is they never say it could be the size of the sol soler system for all we know and GOD DAMN IT you dont seem to wach the show you say you try to be fair but your as biasd as the guy who sat for THREE days waiting for number three to come out and i might tell you that in the third episode we see that one: it took almost 20 years to complete the deathstar
two: the empire hadent been at war for at least that long (and the trekies are still wearing war time grey!)
three: in both episode 1, 2 and 3 we are constintly reminded that the republic hasent been t war for THOUSENDS OF YEARS meaning that the republic is weak

I honestly believed that no one could seriously be this much of a retard, and that he must be trolling. Obviously I had too much faith in humanity. Either that, or he's 10 years old and he's not old enough to be on this board.

[Bounty]

I don't think a 10 year old has the attention span to write multiple long e-mails on the same subject.

I vote either persistent, malevolent troll, or severe braindamage.

[Darth Wong]

I did some more digging. His E-mail is from Tamzen Media: a company in Wausau, Wisconsin. His IP address also resolves to their netblock. So much for my theory that it's a ten year old. If this person actually has a job, it implies that he can't literally be as stupid as he pretends to be in these E-mails, so the "troll" interpretation may still be the best one.

[Augustus Caesar]

I'm having some difficulty understanding his e-mails. They appear to be a mass of unorganized claims that anything from the Star Trek universe could obliterate the entire Empire effortlessly.

[Antares]

The spelling of this guy is really disturbing, even for me as a german guy.
Does this odd creature actually know about MS Word or OpenOffice Word auto-correction?
If i knew, that my spelling sux, then i would try to fix it using some tools at least.

[Bounty]

I don't know if they're related, but googling Ethan Westgate brought up this :

Most kids started school Tuesday in a new classroom with chalkboards and a different teacher in front of them.

Twelve-year-old Ethan Westgate and 10-year-old Quentin Westgate sat on the screened-in porch at their northeast Wausau home, a late summer breeze blowing through as they read the Scottish novel "Ivanhoe" with their mother.

The Westgates didn't go back to school like other students this week. Instead, they learn at home all year long with their mom, studying books and bugs and looking for answers to any questions that pop into their head.
Off and on for the past five years, Cassie Westgate has taught three of her four children at home, a choice that parents of 21,000 children in Wisconsin have decided is right for their kids.

++http://www.wausaudailyherald.com/wdhloc ... 0365.shtml

[Darth Wong]

I guess his homeschooling never included THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE. A 12 year old should be able to spell better than that.

If this is the same kid (and really, it seems like too much of a coincidence), then the only question is how he has an E-mail address and posting IP at this "Tamzen Media" company. Perhaps the company is being run out of his parents' house; I didn't bother to find out how big this company is.

[Glimmervoid]

I would like to know how he can cheep a job at a media company and not know how to use a spell checker or spell.

[Antares]

After struggling with his spelling, i have now finished reading his claims.

My head hurts know...

[Darth Wong]

Holy shit, that article is dated Sept 2002. Therefore, he must be 14 or 15 by now. And his spelling is still horrible! His English language skills are obviously well below standard for his age level. Here's the full article:

Home, school, one and the same
Wed, Sep 4, 2002

By Jessica Bock
Wausau Daily Herald
jbock@wdhprint.com

Most kids started school Tuesday in a new classroom with chalkboards and a different teacher in front of them.

Twelve-year-old Ethan Westgate and 10-year-old Quentin Westgate sat on the screened-in porch at their northeast Wausau home, a late summer breeze blowing through as they read the Scottish novel "Ivanhoe" with their mother.

The Westgates didn't go back to school like other students this week. Instead, they learn at home all year long with their mom, studying books and bugs and looking for answers to any questions that pop into their head.

Off and on for the past five years, Cassie Westgate has taught three of her four children at home, a choice that parents of 21,000 children in Wisconsin have decided is right for their kids.

Homeschooled children have a different experience than other kids, but its been a good match for her children, Cassie Westgate said.

"There's a lot of freedom," said Andrew Westgate, the oldest and first Westgate to study at home. He spent two years at Wausau West High School before homeschooling but didn't like the classroom pace.

"I could focus on what I needed to and what interested me," said Andrew, a 21-year-old who now studies Chinese at Dartmouth College, an Ivy League school in New Hampshire.

Learning at home has its pros and cons, Cassie Westgate said. It didn't appeal to her daughter, Victoria, a Wausau East graduate who was never homeschooled and recently headed East for college as well.

But it was a good match for Ethan, who had a difficult time reading at first, Cassie Westgate said. The individual attention at home helped him skyrocket into books beyond the normal reading level for his age, such as the novel written by Sir Walter Scott the family is reading now, Cassie Westgate said.

Studies have shown that homeschooled children benefit academically and socially from the private tutoring they get at home, said Larry Kaseman, executive director of the Wisconsin Parents Association, which provides resources for those who teach their children.

Many people think homeschooled children are hurt socially, said Kaseman, who taught his four children at home. But research has showed these kids, who make up about 2 percent of school-age children in Wisconsin, are in a better position to cooperate, interact and take initiative in groups, he said.

"Homeschooling give kids confidence in their ability to learn, which helps them throughout life," he said.

At the Westgates, no day is typical. Besides seeing a math tutor, the boys read daily, and from there the kids study whatever they are interested in, Cassie Westgate said.

At one time, Quentin wanted to study otters. More recently, Ethan became intrigued with Roman history.

"It's not school from 8 a.m. to 3 p.m." Cassie Westgate said. "It's life."

One of the cons is not meeting new friends at school, Quentin said.

"But then again, if I was at school I wouldn't spend as much time with my brothers," he said.

Being homeschooled doesn't mean you can't do normal social things, said Andrew, who participated in the Wausau Area Youth Symphony and was on a YMCA swim team.

Spending so much time talking and learning together has brought the family closer, but Cassie and her husband, Ronald, a Wausau businessman, give their kids the option of going to public school.

Staying at home sounds good to Ethan, but Quentin, who played on a Little League team this summer, might consider going back to a traditional classroom in the next few years.

"If they wanted to, it would absolutely be fine," Cassie Westgate said. "It's up to them."

I guess the woman who wrote this puff piece forgot to mention that little home-schooled Ethan can't fucking spell English words to save his life, even 3 years later. This "Tamzen Media" company must be run out of his parents' house.

[Steven Snyder]

Since it is an internet-based company, they may offer their employee (and family) dialup access to the net complete with email accounts.

[FSTargetDrone]

Staying at home sounds good to Ethan, but Quentin, who played on a Little League team this summer, might consider going back to a traditional classroom in the next few years.

"If they wanted to, it would absolutely be fine," Cassie Westgate said. "It's up to them."

It would "be absolutely fine" in what way, exactly???

I don't know what exactly the standards are for homeschooling in whatever locality this person lives but it's not terribly inspiring based on this incomprehensible mishmash... Clearly this kid is going to need some remedial work.

[FSTargetDrone]

It would "be absolutely fine" in what way, exactly???

I don't know what exactly the standards are for homeschooling in whatever locality this person lives but it's not terribly inspiring based on this incomprehensible mishmash... Clearly this kid is going to need some remedial work.

That should be, "absolutely be fine" of course...

[Techno_Union]

I found their website, but nothing really to say whether or not they run it out of an actual office building or just a home. This page actually has an address listing: 2001 N 2nd Street, Wausau, Wisconsin, 54003. Which is their "principal place of business."

[The Spartan]

Holy shit, that article is dated Sept 2002. Therefore, he must be 14 or 15 by now. And his spelling is still horrible! His English language skills are obviously well below standard for his age level.

That would sync with what he claimed in his posts: that he was 15. And that he had a spelling "promblom." He attempted to blame it on not learning to read until he was 7. Now we see it's apparently because he's homeschooled by someone who has no business homeschooling.

[Darth Wong]

Holy shit, that article is dated Sept 2002. Therefore, he must be 14 or 15 by now. And his spelling is still horrible! His English language skills are obviously well below standard for his age level.

That would sync with what he claimed in his posts: that he was 15. And that he had a spelling "promblom." He attempted to blame it on not learning to read until he was 7. Now we see it's apparently because he's homeschooled by someone who has no business homeschooling.

It's not just his spelling; he has no grasp of grammar, sentence structure, punctuation, or even the use of paragraphs. His abuse of the English language is simply atrocious, and even if he had dyslexia, this would not excuse his incompetence. This guy is Exhibit A for the prosecution against homeschooling.

[Darth Servo]

Mike, I could have told you the guy was for real. Just look at the idiot known as Bagara1000 on the MSN forums. Reference in Master of Ossus' sig.

[Master of Ossus]

Presenting my signature!

In all seriousness, though, this guy is as funny as Stewie. It's incredible that a Google search reveals the incredible depths of stupidity that these people come from. Who was that guy who was banned after the long argument regarding home-schooling? Oh, yeah, here he is:

Assassin X

How quickly we forget.

[The Spartan]

It's not just his spelling; he has no grasp of grammar, sentence structure, punctuation, or even the use of paragraphs. His abuse of the English language is simply atrocious, and even if he had dyslexia, this would not excuse his incompetence. This guy is Exhibit A for the prosecution against homeschooling.

I sure as hell am not going to disagree with you. If you'll go to thread he posted, you'll see me confront him on his horrific spelling and he uses the spelling "promblom" as the excuse. Then I harangue him for not being able to write at all and he uses not being able to read until he was eight as his excuse. I don't give up, so he thinks telling me that reading comes first, then spelling, then writing is a plausible excuse.

Now I think mommy was just coddling him too much and afraid to get after him for his deplorable English because it might hurt his feelings. She probably used his early reading problem as her excuse.

[Lone_Prodigy]

ho was that guy who was banned after the long argument regarding home-schooling? Oh, yeah, here he is:

Assassin X

How quickly we forget.

Too bad he didn't proudly display the book of his life accomplishments that he supposedly wrote. That would've been simply hilarious.

[Glimmervoid]

Being dyslexic is not a reason for a post like that. I am dyslexic and my post are totally legible.

Also I have a friend who was home schooled and he did fine. He went to school for the last 2 years of his education (so he could sit exams) and he fitted in fine. He is also smarter/better than me at most things even though I got perfect exam grades so far. Then again his dad is a Professor of statistics.

[Uraniun235]

Subject: you are flawed

god man you are messed up

Oh man, what a zinger. Gosh, he sure got you good. That must really smart.

Any intention of responding? You could try one-upping him at his own game and mangle your reply so badly that at times it just degenerates into pure gibberish, and see what he does with it.

[DPDarkPrimus]

I like that in the last email, he acts as though you're interpreting the length of the gap in the actual film itself between them going from " tatoine to curiscunt", rather than demonstrating the timespan via events that occur in the film.

[Stuart Mackey]

Holy shit, that article is dated Sept 2002. Therefore, he must be 14 or 15 by now. And his spelling is still horrible! His English language skills are obviously well below standard for his age level.

That would sync with what he claimed in his posts: that he was 15. And that he had a spelling "promblom." He attempted to blame it on not learning to read until he was 7. Now we see it's apparently because he's homeschooled by someone who has no business homeschooling.

It's not just his spelling; he has no grasp of grammar, sentence structure, punctuation, or even the use of paragraphs. His abuse of the English language is simply atrocious, and even if he had dyslexia, this would not excuse his incompetence. This guy is Exhibit A for the prosecution against homeschooling.

I have mild dyslexia and learning disabilities up the razoo. I saw some bad cases when I was much younger, but nothing this bad and nothing that could not be improved a hell of a lot with time and work. I have improved with time and practice, so this guy does not have much of an excuse.

[Utsanomiko]

He's writing in a thoughtlessly clumsy & uneducated stream of conciousness; meaning he's not dealing with a learning disability or a set-back, but rather *isn't* dealing with learning to write at all. It screams of a complete lack of any attempt to even respect conditioned spelling and writing methods, let alone a sign someone tried to teach them to him. He doesn't even give a damn about looking up proper nouns while on the internet.

It makes me ashamed I spent most of junior high homeschooled, even though I was lucky enough to never encounter anyone that woefully uneducated (it's possible I did but don't recall them. I certainly met socially-retarded twerps and budding nutjobs though...), and that my studies were fortunate enough to surpass their respective grade levels. I can't be sure how it could have been that much more advanced, though. It seemed like merely reading and watching educational TV a few hours a day prepared me enough to get a 3.8 in 9th grade while wondering what the hell public school kids were doing with all their time if highschool was just covering the same stuff in slightly more detail. Might be merely indicative of anti-intellectualism in the Midwest and the inability of our 'great' school systems to support anyone without an interest in knowledge.



'Curiscunt' indeed. I bet his mother's a real curiscunt...