You can learn everything in Kansas...

Jawawithagun · Post by **Jawawithagun** » 2005-06-25 07:33pm

... or very soon you will, as there are actions taking place to extend the Intelligent Design Curriculum.

OPEN LETTER TO KANSAS SCHOOL BOARD

I am writing you with much concern after having read of your hearing to decide whether the alternative theory of Intelligent Design to be taught along with the theory of Evolution. I think we can all agree that it is important for students to hear multiple viewpoints so they can choose for themselves the theory that makes the most sense to them. I am concerned, however, that students will only hear one theory of Intelligent Design.

Let us remember that there are multiple theories of Intelligent Design. I and many others around the world are of the strong belief that the universe was created by a Flying Spaghetti Monster. It was He who created all that we see and all that we feel. We feel strongly that the overwhelming scientific evidence pointing towards evolutionary processes is nothing but a coincidence, put in place by Him.

The rest of the letter, including graphical evidence to be found on the linked site.

SirNitram · Post by **SirNitram** » 2005-06-25 07:57pm

His Pirate - Global Warming theory both fascinates and terrifies me. If we don't act soon, we may all be destroyed.

Jawawithagun · Post by **Jawawithagun** » 2005-06-25 08:10pm

I also have the sneaking suspicion that if you plot pirate concentration and effects of global warming on a map of earth you will reveal a horrible truth.

Lord of the Abyss · Post by **Lord of the Abyss** » 2005-06-25 08:47pm

This is a great opportunity for Bush !

He can dress our soldiers in Iraq up in pirate costumes, have them steal stuff and claim it's proof that he opposes global warming !

The Dark · Post by **The Dark** » 2005-06-25 11:07pm

In the words of the Guiness men...BRILLIANT!

It's not so much that they mimicked ID's language so well, or that they managed to say so little in so many words, or that they made it completely ridiculous but obviously analogous; it's that they did it all in a single document.

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2005-06-25 11:12pm

The annoying thing is that the people who are pushing for "Intelligent Design" will say that the Flying Spaghetti Monster is an utterly ridiculous theory and completely different from serious academic Intelligent Design, they won't be able to give a logical reason why it's different, and they will laugh it off without ever seriously thinking about that.

Civil War Man · Post by **Civil War Man** » 2005-06-25 11:18pm

That guy wrote:I and many others around the world are of the strong belief that the universe was created by a Flying Spaghetti Monster. It was He who created all that we see and all that we feel. We feel strongly that the overwhelming scientific evidence pointing towards evolutionary processes is nothing but a coincidence, put in place by Him.

I personally am a believer in the Great Green Arkleseizure. May the Arkleseizure have mercy on their souls with the coming of the Great White Hanky.

But I agree that we must increase the number of pirates in order to cool the planet a little bit and prevent the events depicted in the movie "The Day after Tomorrow". The glaciers are coming to get us!

Post by **Mr Bean** » 2005-06-26 12:12am

We could always do with more Pirates, not only do they help with population control(They don't tend to breed that much being out at sea so much and smelling of things best not mentioned.) But they also offer many of the disadvantage youths in our Inner cities yet another good job with a great chance for future promotion.

Post by **Surlethe** » 2005-06-26 01:40am

Janet Waugh, a Kansas School Board Member, wrote:Response from Kansas School Board member Mrs. Janet Waugh - Received 6/25/05

From: JWaugh1052@aol.com
To: bobby.henderson@gmail.com
Date: Jun 25, 2005 6:34 AM
Subject: Response from a member of the Kansas Board of Education

Thanks for your comments about the Flying Spaghetti Monster and all the supporters who have sent their support to members of the Kansas Board of Education. I am supporting the recommendations of the science committee and am currently in the minority. I think your theory is wonderful and possibly some of the majority members will be willing to support it.
Thanks again,

Janet Waugh
District 1

Rich.

mr friendly guy · Post by **mr friendly guy** » 2005-06-26 06:48am

What about my "idiotic design" theory, where the creator is a moron who designs a huge freaking marine animal without the ability to breath underwater.

Among his other feats include bacteria which feeds on human industrial waste before industrialisation, blind spots in the eye, and antibiotic resistance bacteria which we just happen to notice after we started using antibiotics.

Lord of the Abyss · Post by **Lord of the Abyss** » 2005-06-26 12:25pm

What about my "idiotic design" theory, where the creator is a moron who designs a huge freaking marine animal without the ability to breath underwater.

Among his other feats include bacteria which feeds on human industrial waste before industrialisation, blind spots in the eye, and antibiotic resistance bacteria which we just happen to notice after we started using antibiotics.

That's something that has always bothered me about creationism. Someone says the world was made my God, my reaction is "Can we sue ? ". He screwed up bad.

Enforcer Talen · Post by **Enforcer Talen** » 2005-06-26 03:33pm

The argument I was taught was that all these problems occured after the Fall.

Yes, blame us.

Darth Raptor · Post by **Darth Raptor** » 2005-06-26 05:40pm

mr friendly guy wrote:Among his other feats include bacteria which feeds on human industrial waste before industrialisation, blind spots in the eye, and antibiotic resistance bacteria which we just happen to notice after we started using antibiotics.

MICROEVOLUTION!!!1!!1

Antares · Post by **Antares** » 2005-06-26 06:08pm

I belive in the flying spaghetti monster now....it sounds very reasonable why thing are like they are

*Bows to plate full of spaghetti*

Lord of the Abyss · Post by **Lord of the Abyss** » 2005-06-26 07:03pm

I belive in the flying spaghetti monster now....it sounds very reasonable why thing are like they are
*Bows to plate full of spaghetti*

I love spaghetti, I eat it all the time ...

I am so screwed ...

Darth Raptor · Post by **Darth Raptor** » 2005-06-26 08:36pm

Lord of the Abyss wrote:I love spaghetti, I eat it all the time ...

I am so screwed ...

Christians eat Jesus' body and drink his blood. I'm sure you can eat His noodles and drink His sauce- so long as you make a ridiculous ceremony out of it.

Duckie · Post by **Duckie** » 2005-06-26 09:16pm

Darth Raptor wrote:
Christians eat Jesus' body and drink his blood. I'm sure you can eat His noodles and drink His sauce- so long as you make a ridiculous ceremony out of it.

While I appreciate the humor in it, as far as I know Lutheranism (and thereby Protestantism barring Zwingli+Calvin and co. at large for the most part) immeditely retconned Body and Blood to be figurative. The Catholic Church, AFAIK, followed them later in that interpretation.

That said:

The Eudisiuniare Romanus wrote:
When the takeout came, The Flying Spaghetti Monster and His meatballs ssat at the bar. And He said to them:
"I will eat this Italian with you before I refrigerate. For I tell you, I will not eat this again until I find fulfillment in the Cold."

After taking the cup, He drank and said:
"Take this and divide it among you. For I tell you I will not drink again of the meat sauce until the Second Course comes."

And He took spaghetti, took another swig, and ate it, twirling it about the fork and gave it to them saying:
"This is My Body given for you, do this in remembrance of Me."
In the same way, after the supper He took the cup, saying:
"This dish is the newest recipe using my blood, which is zestily flavoured."

Lord of the Abyss · Post by **Lord of the Abyss** » 2005-06-26 09:17pm

Christians eat Jesus' body and drink his blood. I'm sure you can eat His noodles and drink His sauce- so long as you make a ridiculous ceremony out of it.

All hail the noodles of Paradise ! Praise the sauce, which is like unto the Blood of our Lord ! Praise the the cheese, which sprinkles down like His blessings !

Take thou the Holy Fork and Blessed Plate, and become One with the Lord !!!

EmperorSolo51 · Post by **EmperorSolo51** » 2005-06-27 10:52am

Darth Raptor wrote:
Lord of the Abyss wrote:I love spaghetti, I eat it all the time ...

I am so screwed ...
Christians eat Jesus' body and drink his blood. I'm sure you can eat His noodles and drink His sauce- so long as you make a ridiculous ceremony out of it.

I don't know about you, but I happen to enjoy the pomp and circumstance of the Eucharist.

spikenigma · Post by **spikenigma** » 2005-06-27 12:21pm

Darth Wong wrote:The annoying thing is that the people who are pushing for "Intelligent Design" will say that the Flying Spaghetti Monster is an utterly ridiculous theory and completely different from serious academic Intelligent Design, they won't be able to give a logical reason why it's different, and they will laugh it off without ever seriously thinking about that.

normally using a derivative of:

there are many books about [insert ID theory] / there are [insert number] many followers of [insert ID theory] / [insert famous/smart person] was a follower/believer of [insert ID theory] / [insert ID theory] has lasted [insert years]....and the flying Spaghetti Monster is not recognised as a major religion

I'm curious, how Intelligent Design be touted as "academic" unless it is in the field of theology - which hardly gives credence to a scientific discussion...

Darth Raptor · Post by **Darth Raptor** » 2005-06-27 03:32pm

EmperorSolo51 wrote:I don't know about you, but I happen to enjoy the pomp and circumstance of the Eucharist.

Congratulations?

Sriad · Post by **Sriad** » 2005-06-27 06:07pm

Lord of the Abyss wrote:
Christians eat Jesus' body and drink his blood. I'm sure you can eat His noodles and drink His sauce- so long as you make a ridiculous ceremony out of it.
All hail the noodles of Paradise ! Praise the sauce, which is like unto the Blood of our Lord ! Praise the the cheese, which sprinkles down like His blessings !

Take thou the Holy Fork and Blessed Plate, and become One with the Lord !!!

I'm convinced!

Tonight I shall dine at Noodles and offer up my praise to the Flying Spaghetti Monster, great is his bounty.

Ender · Post by **Ender** » 2005-06-30 11:30pm

I like the adds on the page.

"This mug holds coffee AND pisses of Jesus"

Jadeite · Post by **Jadeite** » 2005-07-01 07:02pm

That's definitely getting posted on guideposts.

Guy N. Cognito · Post by **Guy N. Cognito** » 2005-07-03 03:42am

That rules. I am getting the cup that shows pirates vs climate over time

StarDestroyer.Net BBS

You can learn everything in Kansas...

You can learn everything in Kansas...

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