Damn Aayla Wankers

Jim Raynor · Post by **Jim Raynor** » 2005-07-01 01:29pm

Has anybody encountered any dumbshits who insist that Aayla DIDN'T die after she was gunned down and shot dozens of times in ROTS?

Apparently, Aayla has a growing legion of horny fanboys, and is taking on cult status like Wedge or Boba Fett. These morons are so desperate to see her again that they actually think that she survived ROTS, and will be a regular character on the upcoming TV show. Right now, I'm dealing with one of these guys on SW Wiki, and I need some cold hard evidence to smack him down. The best I could come up with was a brief article on TF.net (which doesn't seem to show up when you click the link) that says Aayla could be alive, with an update that says the article is bullshit. Does anybody have any official links from Lucas or Amy Allen debunking this stupid rumor?

The Grim Squeaker · Post by **The Grim Squeaker** » 2005-07-01 01:35pm

The actress is quite possibly going to be in the tv series according the theforce.net.

Jim Raynor · Post by **Jim Raynor** » 2005-07-01 01:36pm

the .303 bookworm wrote:The actress is quite possibly going to be in the tv series according the theforce.net.

Not only was the report on TF.net updated to say that she wasn't, but that doesn't necessarily mean that she would be playing Aayla Secura, which is just downright stupid.

The Grim Squeaker · Post by **The Grim Squeaker** » 2005-07-01 01:40pm

Jim Raynor wrote:
the .303 bookworm wrote:The actress is quite possibly going to be in the tv series according the theforce.net.
Not only was the report on TF.net updated to say that she wasn't, but that doesn't necessarily mean that she would be playing Aayla Secura, which is just downright stupid.

Didnt see the update.
Maybe theyl'l have a clone, Dark side twilek (Maybe the blue twilek's relative)etc... it wouldnt be hard to bring her back from the dead. (Not that I think it would be logical)

Kurgan · Post by **Kurgan** » 2005-07-01 01:47pm

Here is what the TV show will be like now...

A cloned Aayla Secura; Darth Maul with robot legs; Jango Fett with a robot head, Boba Fett with grecian formula, geritol, a walker and viagra (he's old, okay?); Aurra Sing and Assaj Ventress (in a body cast) will share a ridiculously expensive apartment with Kyle Katarn (accompanied by his sexy therapist) and Mara Jade. Their wacky antics will be done in the time honored style of reality fiction. Guest cameos by their crazy neighbor, Mark Hamill everytime he needs a hot meal. Kevin Smith will direct. Enjoy fanwhores!

That's how Mr. Lucas should do it. Mr. Lucas? Mr. Lucas?! Oops, he can't answer, he's being smothered in mountains of money.

Battlehymn Republic · Post by **Battlehymn Republic** » 2005-07-01 01:54pm

What, no Tenel Ka?

Dooey Jo · Post by **Dooey Jo** » 2005-07-01 01:54pm

Kurgan wrote:A cloned Aayla Secura; Darth Maul with robot legs; Jango Fett with a robot head, Boba Fett with grecian formula, geritol, a walker and viagra (he's old, okay?); Aurra Sing and Assaj Ventress (in a body cast) will share a ridiculously expensive apartment with Kyle Katarn (accompanied by his sexy therapist) and Mara Jade. Their wacky antics will be done in the time honored style of reality fiction. Guest cameos by their crazy neighbor, Mark Hamill everytime he needs a hot meal. Kevin Smith will direct. Enjoy fanwhores!

And Mace Windu must be in it too!! And Tenel Ka!

It's pretty stupid to think Aayla didn't die. It would ruin the sadness of the scene too, if she didn't. That doesn't necessarily mean that she does not have a nearly identical twin, though. One that can be featured in the series

DPDarkPrimus · Post by **DPDarkPrimus** » 2005-07-01 02:10pm

Damn Aayla Wankers

I can't help it if she's beautiful!

Kurgan · Post by **Kurgan** » 2005-07-01 02:10pm

Yep there were a lot of Aayla wankers on my board, but apparently they accepted her death, rather than pretending she survived to be in the TV series, once ROTS came out and there proof was in the pudding.

Eddie Murphy wrote:"If the bitch is green, there's something wrong with the pussy!"

Lord Revan · Post by **Lord Revan** » 2005-07-01 02:31pm

As much as I like the character she's no Revan or Vader (Revan was shoot in the back and we all know what happed to Vader) and even they need help from others to survive. She's dead Jim, live with it.

Pcm979 · Post by **Pcm979** » 2005-07-01 02:33pm

Lord Revan wrote:As much as I like the character she's no Revan or Vader (Revan was shoot in the back

With a full broadside from a cap ship, mind you.

Eh, I didn't think the actress was that hot anyway. A tad emaciated.

Lord Revan · Post by **Lord Revan** » 2005-07-01 02:40pm

Pcm979 wrote:
Lord Revan wrote:As much as I like the character she's no Revan or Vader (Revan was shoot in the back
With a full broadside from a cap ship, mind you.

Don't remind me of that

anyway I was trying make it sound less wankish

Eh, I didn't think the actress was that hot anyway. A tad emaciated.

yeah especially without make up she's nothing to write home about, but then there isn't that many

worthy Jedi in the movies

Ender · Post by **Ender** » 2005-07-01 02:43pm

Reversal of Fortune on Hyperspace shows her body after she gets shot to hell. It's more gruesome then I expected in a comic on TOS. But she is most certainly dead.

I'm more concerned about the Quinlan wankers at DHC, Ostander comments indicate he will have some comics set after ROTS, despite the ROTS comic showing he getting literally blown to pieces.

Noble Ire · Post by **Noble Ire** » 2005-07-01 03:17pm

yeah especially without make up she's nothing to write home about, but then there isn't that many worthy Jedi in the movies

I can think of a half dozen, but they all die in the clone wars or during ROTS too.

wautd · Post by **wautd** » 2005-07-01 03:21pm

Jim Raynor wrote:Has anybody encountered any dumbshits who insist that Aayla DIDN'T die after she was gunned down and shot dozens of times in ROTS? Apparently, Aayla has a growing legion of horny fanboys, and is taking on cult status like Wedge or Boba Fett.

oh for fuck sake. This is as bad as those Lara Croft Wankers (the game version, not the movie version offcourse)

1123581321 · Post by **1123581321** » 2005-07-01 04:18pm

I just saw the movie again, and I was looking for little details this time. There were several blaster wounds on her body, then the big mushroom concealed her as the troopers fired into her again and again. She didn't even get her lightsaber out. She's dead.

Cykeisme · Post by **Cykeisme** » 2005-07-01 04:49pm

Alas, she is indeed quite dead.

DPDarkPrimus wrote:
Damn Aayla Wankers
I can't help it if she's beautiful!

1123581321 wrote:then the big mushroom concealed her as the troopers fired into her again and again.

Shouldn't it be "as the troopers fired at her again and again"? The slip is perfectly understandable though.

Crossroads Inc. · Post by **Crossroads Inc.** » 2005-07-01 04:55pm

Does anyone think about the fact that perhaps they added a group of Solders unloading point blank blasts into her death scene to PREVENT people from thinking she was still alive?

Cal Wright · Post by **Cal Wright** » 2005-07-01 05:09pm

All I can say, is I would like to fuck the actress in her make up and head tails. Her sans the leather outfit. I'm sure there are lots of fanboy wankers though. It's the closest thing to a naked chick as they're going to get until thier 21. (18 in some states)

Cykeisme · Post by **Cykeisme** » 2005-07-01 05:32pm

Bah, if we're going into that, I'd like to fuck a genuine Twi'Lek.. something that is 100% genuine fantasy.

Vanas · Post by **Vanas** » 2005-07-01 05:44pm

Crossroads Inc. wrote:Does anyone think about the fact that perhaps they added a group of Solders unloading point blank blasts into her death scene to PREVENT people from thinking she was still alive?

I was wondering about that. All the other just cop it in a few shots, but she's got the Excessive Overkill troopers going nuts. I find that it's very hard to question her dead-ness after that.

neoolong · Post by **neoolong** » 2005-07-01 08:39pm

She was wearing a personal shield.

Apparently she also has a navel ring. According to some guy that was paying way too much attention.

Utsanomiko · Post by **Utsanomiko** » 2005-07-01 08:52pm

Maybe that navel ring was her personal shield. It's powered by a special rare crystal that she got from- mmm, soft blue skin *Wank wank wank*...

Yeah, she's dead.

Battlehymn Republic · Post by **Battlehymn Republic** » 2005-07-01 08:56pm

What's so special about her, other than being an ass-kicking Jedi? I'd bet that somewhere in the comics/EU/fanfic-land that there's a hot blue female twi'lek Force-latent bounty hunter who was also an ex-slave sex goddess.

Jason von Evil · Post by **Jason von Evil** » 2005-07-01 09:32pm

Yeah, there's an edit war going on at Wikipedia about this bullshit. Some anon wankers keep editing pages where Secura's mentioned (like her own article and one about the Jedi Purge) and changing "killed" to "apparently killed" or "critically wounded". I've had to keep undoing those damn edits. A few other people have done it too.

Not even the Mace Windu wankers are this bad.

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Damn Aayla Wankers

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