Poorly worded statements

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi · Post by **Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi** » 2002-11-23 08:50pm

What is the most poorly worded thing you've heard?

Today, my sister was taking some engineering course in Pittsburgh, and they were talking about a bridge designer, who designed the Brooklyn Bridge. They called it "His greatest erection". I'm sure the class broke out laghing hearing of that.

Have you read or heard of something like that?

Evil Sadistic Bastard · Post by **Evil Sadistic Bastard** » 2002-11-23 08:52pm

I remember a friend saying, " My dog gives me much pleasure. "

He received a lot of weird stares for the next few weeks.

Post by **haas mark** » 2002-11-23 08:53pm

Evil Sadistic Bastard wrote:I remember a friend saying, " My dog gives me much pleasure. "

He received a lot of weird stares for the next few weeks.

Was he foreign?

Anyways, my friends and I tend to be dyslexic at times....and he said, "Chalkless dust" when we were having a random conversation abotu chlakboard dust.

Joe · Post by **Joe** » 2002-11-23 08:55pm

"Thanks for flying Delta. We hope you enjoy giving us the business as much as we enjoy taking you for a ride!"

An actual quote, by a Delta pilot.

Master of Ossus · Post by **Master of Ossus** » 2002-11-23 09:21pm

While I was teaching the Bible as Literature to some of my HS students, there was one passage of the Noah story when Noah is building an altar to thank God for his salvation. The statement is something like, "And God smelled the fumes, and they pleased him." After someone pointed out the obvious, I simply could not get the class back on topic for the entire rest of the period. Whenever we tried to start reading again, everyone started cracking up.

Raxmei · Post by **Raxmei** » 2002-11-23 09:41pm

"Stroke it gently"

An instruction to use less force when applying the varnish to the table.

Ewo · Post by **Ewo** » 2002-11-23 09:48pm

I was just checking out some Aesop's fables online and read this closing sentence ...
"The Lion seeing that the Ass was secured, immediately clutched the Fox, and then attacked the Ass at his leisure."

Post by **haas mark** » 2002-11-23 09:53pm

Ewo wrote:I was just checking out some Aesop's fables online and read this closing sentence ...
"The Lion seeing that the Ass was secured, immediately clutched the Fox, and then attacked the Ass at his leisure."

That one sounds so wrong......

And as far as more dyslexia from me....

My weirdest pet ever are free trogs. (I meant to say tree frogs, and hadb't realized what I said until someone pointed it out....after they burst out laughing).

Next of Kin · Post by **Next of Kin** » 2002-11-23 09:53pm

Ewo wrote:I was just checking out some Aesop's fables online and read this closing sentence ...
"The Lion seeing that the Ass was secured, immediately clutched the Fox, and then attacked the Ass at his leisure."

Was this one Aesop's Pg-13 fables?!?

Post by **Vympel** » 2002-11-23 09:54pm

Master of Ossus wrote:While I was teaching the Bible as Literature to some of my HS students, there was one passage of the Noah story when Noah is building an altar to thank God for his salvation. The statement is something like, "And God smelled the fumes, and they pleased him." After someone pointed out the obvious, I simply could not get the class back on topic for the entire rest of the period. Whenever we tried to start reading again, everyone started cracking up.

A misphrase of the many sacrifices that produce "a sweet savor" unto the Lord

Crayz9000 · Post by **Crayz9000** » 2002-11-23 10:30pm

Vympel wrote:A misphrase of the many sacrifices that produce "a sweet savor" unto the Lord

At least the New King James Version uses English properly, unlike most "modern language" bibles...

Post by **haas mark** » 2002-11-23 10:31pm

Crayz9000 wrote:
Vympel wrote:A misphrase of the many sacrifices that produce "a sweet savor" unto the Lord
At least the New King James Version uses English properly, unlike most "modern language" bibles...

It was only done like that to make it sound more poetic.

Crayz9000 · Post by **Crayz9000** » 2002-11-23 10:42pm

verilon wrote:
Crayz9000 wrote:At least the New King James Version uses English properly, unlike most "modern language" bibles...
It was only done like that to make it sound more poetic.

Yes, but at least it gets rid of most of the double meanings.

Post by **haas mark** » 2002-11-23 10:47pm

Crayz9000 wrote:
verilon wrote:
Crayz9000 wrote:At least the New King James Version uses English properly, unlike most "modern language" bibles...
It was only done like that to make it sound more poetic.
Yes, but at least it gets rid of most of the double meanings.

Sometimes. The Catholic version also tries to do the same. IMO, it also eliminates a lot of ambiguity, in some cases.

Temjin · Post by **Temjin** » 2002-11-23 11:09pm

Let's just say that my food services teacher will do everything in her power to avoid the word "organism".

Crayz9000 · Post by **Crayz9000** » 2002-11-23 11:10pm

Temjin wrote:Let's just say that my food services teacher will do everything in her power to avoid the word "organism".

Why? It's not that close to "orgasm"...

Post by **haas mark** » 2002-11-23 11:14pm

Crayz9000 wrote:
Temjin wrote:Let's just say that my food services teacher will do everything in her power to avoid the word "organism".
Why? It's not that close to "orgasm"...

People with nasalized voices can have a hard time saying words like that. Sometimes foreign people, too.

aerius · Post by **aerius** » 2002-11-23 11:21pm

My words of wisdom to a new bike mechanic at our store "you gotta grease the shaft before you stick it in there". He was wondering why the rod on a suspension linkage was so hard to stick into the hole.

Temjin · Post by **Temjin** » 2002-11-24 01:12am

verilon wrote:
Crayz9000 wrote:
Temjin wrote:Let's just say that my food services teacher will do everything in her power to avoid the word "organism".
Why? It's not that close to "orgasm"...
People with nasalized voices can have a hard time saying words like that. Sometimes foreign people, too.

She can say organism fine, as long as thinks she about before she says it. It's just that when it comes along in a sentence, she keeps on wanting to say orgasm.

[EDIT] Ooops! Edited the last sentence so it says the "say" part [/EDIT]

Crayz9000 · Post by **Crayz9000** » 2002-11-24 01:13am

Temjin wrote:She can say organism fine, as long as thinks about before she says it. It's just that when it comes along in a sentence, she keeps on wanting to orgasm..

Watch your own context. Dropping "say" can have quite an effect on a sentence...

Post by **haas mark** » 2002-11-24 01:16am

Crayz9000 wrote:
Temjin wrote:She can say organism fine, as long as thinks about before she says it. It's just that when it comes along in a sentence, she keeps on wanting to orgasm..
Watch your own context. Dropping "say" can have quite an effect on a sentence...

lol! And like I said, sometimes people have problems keeping the two separate, esp if they are foreign or nasalized, for whatever reason.

Anyways, thinking about the word you say isn't all that uncommon. When I am reading aloud, I come across the word 'witch,' I always, ALWAYS have to think about it before I say it, otherwise, for whatever reason, it comes out 'bitch.'

*shrug*

Temjin · Post by **Temjin** » 2002-11-24 01:17am

That was just too appropriate for the topic.....

Post by **haas mark** » 2002-11-24 01:18am

Temjin wrote:That was just too appropriate for the topic.....

But wasn't it?

:P

Master of Ossus · Post by **Master of Ossus** » 2002-11-24 02:32pm

I once had a student in my class who's last name was "Ho." I came back in from a sick-day and found out that the sub had done two things wrong. He had called her "Whore" while taking the attendance down, AND he had asked the students to take out their "Fuck Hinn" books, when he meant to say "Huck Finn." I honestly don't know where they get these people.

Post by **Sea Skimmer** » 2002-11-24 02:42pm

Master of Ossus wrote:I once had a student in my class who's last name was "Ho." I came back in from a sick-day and found out that the sub had done two things wrong. He had called her "Whore" while taking the attendance down, AND he had asked the students to take out their "Fuck Hinn" books, when he meant to say "Huck Finn." I honestly don't know where they get these people.

Spiraling into Fuckstars anti logic well