ROTFLMAO! Goons board a Brit SSBN! (TGOD INSIDE)

[Vympel]

Is it just me or is pure spam now?

[Stuart Mackey]

Is it just me or is pure spam now?

You silly boy! this is a ASVS tradition known as TGOD, the good old days. This one is quite tame however and is tending towards power gaming, but I tried to tone it down slightly on that last post.

[Sea Skimmer]

Sir!
Yes, what is it?
Archon virus
Again?
Yes Sir
alright, I am sick of this, format
yes sir

c:\ format c:
Warning: formatting will erase all information on drive c:
are you sure you want to proceed Y/N?
y
Formatting
Format complete.

Damn archon virus.

And so the crew made their finnal mistake

It was at that monument, the ships computer system containing the shield generator drivers reformatting, that the Kirov II struck. A hail of missile launched torpedoes ripped into the hull while others rained down on the decks. One penetrated to a magazine, that was that.

The massive blast split the battleship in two and plunged her to the bottom of the ocean. A pattern of atomic depth charges finished off what was left, blasting each piece to debris.

Have we their location?
yes sir
nice bit of subterfuge to get them to reveal their location eh Jimmy?
yes sir.I cannot beleive that they would fall for the ol pywood and canvas trick, but they did.
It was the tinfoil coating that did it.

Nautilus lad lain silent for some time, the sound of the Russian BC's screws approaching them allowed the updated and reasonably quiet old sub to fire here torpedos' at point blank range.
Most modernsubmarines carry homing torpedo's, which are normally hard to avoid, but countermesures had been developed to reduse this threat. Nuatilus however had some thing better than Homing topedo's, for at this range there was one thing that that the BC could not avoid and could not decoy, this was a older technology, one whose origins went back to the first world war, the straight running torpedo, six of which, updated with modern explosives, were now speeding their way to Kirov. Kirov's lookouts were not overly observant, as someone had 'discoverd' numerous vodka bottles to celibrate their 'victory' and most were now half cut.
All six torpedo's hit the Kirov2's port side, blasting huge holes in the ship and venting the ship to the sea. Proper damage contol might have brought some time, but the damage was too severe and the men too drunk to respond, the mighty Guided missile battlecruiser gntly rolled over and sank. Few men made it to liferafts.

In the meantime, the BB had finally made it up over the horizon. Lutzow quickly circled to engage this new threat. But war being war, she never got the chance to duel gun to gun as she had at Jutland in 1916, for she was sunk by one of the very things that had made Jellicoe hesitate and turnaway from annihlating the Highseas fleet, a torpedo, from a submarine, undetcted because of the reverbarations from the Kirov's sinking. Poetic Justice for the 20th centurys Nelson.

Or so would have happened, had the Kirov not had a function high frequency sonar and her RBU-1000 launchers, standard anti torpedo bomblet weapons mounted on every major Soviet surface combatant. But both she did indeed have.

Even as she went to flank to throw off the unguided weapons already poor long-range aim six round bomb patterns landed in the path of the greatest threats. The blasts knocked four of the torpedoes off course or destroyed them outright. The last two passed harmlessly in her wake before running out of fuel.

The Nautilus didn't stand a chance against the counter attack. Limited to 23 knots and 400 feet she was easy prey for the Ka-29's and SH-60R's Kirov II sent against her. The noisy ill sharpened sub was quickly found. Over the side 533's and tri of Sea Lances from the Kirov joined a half dozen helicopter launched fish. Even the Lützow joined in, launching an Mk48 from her forward submerged tube. Nautilus was shattered and sent plunging to the bottom, a rain of nuclear depth charges blasting even the reactor core into parts no larger then a coffee cup.

Then it was time to deal with the approaching bullship. 110 miles above a small orbital recon bird rotated around. It scanned the oceans with its radar before finally finding the bullship. Then it fired a simple device, a laser target designator, and held it there.

Lützow presented her broadside and began firing, forty rocket assisted laser guided sabot rounds per minute. It was slaughter. The rounds struck with pinpoint accuracy and the fire was methodically walked down the ships length. Her superstructure torn away by the fire, the rounds began to hammer the armor. While no one round could penetrate, eight on one plate shattered it with ease and allowed follow up ships to strike deep.

After eight long minutes Lützow ceased fire as the bullship's bow passed under the waves. Three minutes later her stern was no longer visible.


You really though torpedoes would work? Against a ship designed and armed in part by the only nation with a anti torpedo system? Hahaha..

[salm]

hey, these guys did some real life white hat hacking...

[Sea Skimmer]

Is it just me or is pure spam now?

You silly boy! this is a ASVS tradition known as TGOD, the good old days. This one is quite tame however and is tending towards power gaming, but I tried to tone it down slightly on that last post.

My ship doesn't defy physics. Even the dual D-5 tubes are possible, Italy's Vittorio Veneto had provision for Polaris tubes, but they where never fitted as the threat of Yugoslavian nuclear weapons never appeared. And of course the Long Beach was to have them as well.

Toneing down in no fun, though I have refraimed from using my web of orbital battlestations.

[MKSheppard]

c:\ format c:
Warning: formatting will erase all information on drive c:
are you sure you want to proceed Y/N?
y
Formatting
Format complete.

Damn archon virus.

LOL ROFLMAO

This is now as funny as the old Sheppard vs Boyd TGODS...

[Stuart Mackey]

Is it just me or is pure spam now?

You silly boy! this is a ASVS tradition known as TGOD, the good old days. This one is quite tame however and is tending towards power gaming, but I tried to tone it down slightly on that last post.

My ship doesn't defy physics. Even the dual D-5 tubes are possible, Italy's Vittorio Veneto had provision for Polaris tubes, but they where never fitted as the threat of Yugoslavian nuclear weapons never appeared. And of course the Long Beach was to have them as well.

Toneing down in no fun, though I have refraimed from using my web of orbital battlestations.

Thats alright, I refrained from a night of lamb vindaloo

[Stuart Mackey]

Is it just me or is pure spam now?

You silly boy! this is a ASVS tradition known as TGOD, the good old days. This one is quite tame however and is tending towards power gaming, but I tried to tone it down slightly on that last post.

My ship doesn't defy physics. Even the dual D-5 tubes are possible, Italy's Vittorio Veneto had provision for Polaris tubes, but they where never fitted as the threat of Yugoslavian nuclear weapons never appeared. And of course the Long Beach was to have them as well.

Your ship, has one thing in common with mine, they both stink like shit cause they got pulled from a asshole .
As for Lutzow..well the German government would no more allow it to be tampered with than the Brits would allow me to raise Royal Oak.

[Sea Skimmer]

You silly boy! this is a ASVS tradition known as TGOD, the good old days. This one is quite tame however and is tending towards power gaming, but I tried to tone it down slightly on that last post.

My ship doesn't defy physics. Even the dual D-5 tubes are possible, Italy's Vittorio Veneto had provision for Polaris tubes, but they where never fitted as the threat of Yugoslavian nuclear weapons never appeared. And of course the Long Beach was to have them as well.

Toneing down in no fun, though I have refraimed from using my web of orbital battlestations.

Thats alright, I refrained from a night of lamb vindaloo

If I actually knew what that was I might be concerned.

[Stuart Mackey]

My ship doesn't defy physics. Even the dual D-5 tubes are possible, Italy's Vittorio Veneto had provision for Polaris tubes, but they where never fitted as the threat of Yugoslavian nuclear weapons never appeared. And of course the Long Beach was to have them as well.

Toneing down in no fun, though I have refraimed from using my web of orbital battlestations.

Thats alright, I refrained from a night of lamb vindaloo

If I actually knew what that was I might be concerned.

YOU DONT KNOW WHAT A LAMB VINDALOO IS????
CULINARY HEATHEN!
Well the only thing that can kill it is........Well I am not going to tell you, and the first Brit that open his gob in the subject will eat his own testacles ,with mint sauce.

[Sea Skimmer]

You silly boy! this is a ASVS tradition known as TGOD, the good old days. This one is quite tame however and is tending towards power gaming, but I tried to tone it down slightly on that last post.

My ship doesn't defy physics. Even the dual D-5 tubes are possible, Italy's Vittorio Veneto had provision for Polaris tubes, but they where never fitted as the threat of Yugoslavian nuclear weapons never appeared. And of course the Long Beach was to have them as well.

Your ship, has one thing in common with mine, they both stink like shit cause they got pulled from a asshole .
As for Lutzow..well the German government would no more allow it to be tampered with than the Brits would allow me to raise Royal Oak.

Yours would smell far worse, mine got yanked out well over a year ago on a forum far far away. As for the oak. with the current bean counters running the UK, make a good offer and your set.

[Sea Skimmer]

Thats alright, I refrained from a night of lamb vindaloo

If I actually knew what that was I might be concerned.

YOU DONT KNOW WHAT A LAMB VINDALOO IS????
CULINARY HEATHEN!
Well the only thing that can kill it is........Well I am not going to tell you, and the first Brit that open his gob in the subject will eat his own testacles ,with mint sauce.

If I cared I'd do a web search. As for your threats of death. You first.





EAT INSTANT SUNRISE SCUM

[Stuart Mackey]

My ship doesn't defy physics. Even the dual D-5 tubes are possible, Italy's Vittorio Veneto had provision for Polaris tubes, but they where never fitted as the threat of Yugoslavian nuclear weapons never appeared. And of course the Long Beach was to have them as well.

Your ship, has one thing in common with mine, they both stink like shit cause they got pulled from a asshole .
As for Lutzow..well the German government would no more allow it to be tampered with than the Brits would allow me to raise Royal Oak.

Yours would smell far worse, mine got yanked out well over a year ago on a forum far far away. With the current bean counters running the UK, make a good offer and your set.

Lol, no thanks, the manning would be a nightmare and the maintainace issue would be worse to say nothing of it being a orphan..Oh the logistics!

[Stuart Mackey]

snip

If I cared I'd do a web search. As for your threats of death. You first.

snip

EAT INSTANT SUNRISE SCUM

The power of your nuclaer weapon is insignificant to a Vindaloo induced ring of fire.

[Sea Skimmer]

snip

If I cared I'd do a web search. As for your threats of death. You first.

snip

EAT INSTANT SUNRISE SCUM

The power of your nuclaer weapon is insignificant to a Vindaloo induced ring of fire.

The ability to make an unsupported claim is insignificant next to the power of reality.

[Sea Skimmer]

Your ship, has one thing in common with mine, they both stink like shit cause they got pulled from a asshole .
As for Lutzow..well the German government would no more allow it to be tampered with than the Brits would allow me to raise Royal Oak.

Yours would smell far worse, mine got yanked out well over a year ago on a forum far far away. With the current bean counters running the UK, make a good offer and your set.

Lol, no thanks, the manning would be a nightmare and the maintainace issue would be worse to say nothing of it being a orphan..Oh the logistics!

It woundn't be a hobby if it was easy.

[Stuart Mackey]

snip

If I cared I'd do a web search. As for your threats of death. You first.

snip

EAT INSTANT SUNRISE SCUM

The power of your nuclaer weapon is insignificant to a Vindaloo induced ring of fire.

The ability to make an unsupported claim is insignificant next to the power of reality.

Tell that to a politician and the people who vote for them.

[Stuart Mackey]

It woundn't be a hobby if it was easy.

aye, but it should nay send ye mad.

[Sea Skimmer]

It woundn't be a hobby if it was easy.

aye, but it should nay send ye mad.

The solution is clearly to engage in a massive upgrade, gas turbines, a modern auto loading armament, variable pitch propellers ect.. Be sure not to let little facts like "It would be cheaper to start from scratch" get in your way.

[Stuart Mackey]

It woundn't be a hobby if it was easy.

aye, but it should nay send ye mad.

The solution is clearly to engage in a massive upgrade, gas turbines, a modern auto loading armament, variable pitch propellers ect.. Be sure not to let little facts like "It would be cheaper to start from scratch" get in your way.

Hell no! Sir Humphry is of the opinion that that would have a negative impact on the ministers re-election chances.

[Sea Skimmer]

aye, but it should nay send ye mad.

The solution is clearly to engage in a massive upgrade, gas turbines, a modern auto loading armament, variable pitch propellers ect.. Be sure not to let little facts like "It would be cheaper to start from scratch" get in your way.

Hell no! Sir Humphry is of the opinion that that would have a negative impact on the ministers re-election chances.

"Now if we where to cut another billion pounds from the defense budget and reallot it to building an all new yard for the work twenty miles from water deep enough to take the ship but one mile from a key block of voters.."

[Stuart Mackey]

The solution is clearly to engage in a massive upgrade, gas turbines, a modern auto loading armament, variable pitch propellers ect.. Be sure not to let little facts like "It would be cheaper to start from scratch" get in your way.

Hell no! Sir Humphry is of the opinion that that would have a negative impact on the ministers re-election chances.

"Now if we where to cut another billion pounds from the defense budget and reallot it to building an all new yard for the work twenty miles from water deep enough to take the ship but one mile from a key block of voters.."

So when do you take the public service entry exam?

[Sea Skimmer]

Hell no! Sir Humphry is of the opinion that that would have a negative impact on the ministers re-election chances.

"Now if we where to cut another billion pounds from the defense budget and reallot it to building an all new yard for the work twenty miles from water deep enough to take the ship but one mile from a key block of voters.."

So when do you take the public service entry exam?

Soon as I'm done assassinating the current crop.

[Stuart Mackey]

"Now if we where to cut another billion pounds from the defense budget and reallot it to building an all new yard for the work twenty miles from water deep enough to take the ship but one mile from a key block of voters.."

So when do you take the public service entry exam?

Soon as I'm done assassinating the current crop.

heh, now you sound like a politician.

[Sea Skimmer]

heh, now you sound like a politician.

While the general population might like my slogan. "Death to the current anti freedom hate mongers who waste you're hard earned cash. I will fight hand to hand if necessary." I don't think it would go over well in the press.


Think we's should stop spamming now to avoid this threads deletion.