Fatal Review

Sharp-kun · Post by **Sharp-kun** » 2005-07-14 08:30pm

Fatal Review

All I can say is:

.........

Spanky The Dolphin · Post by **Spanky The Dolphin** » 2005-07-14 08:50pm

Yeah, a long time ago Marina posted a link to a different review of it that I think might have been even longer. I got FUQed for replying with "I stopped reading when I got to converting height to get vaginal depth potential."

That review also had an MP3 of the "FATAL Theme," which was described as something like "Cookie Monster mumbling lame death metal lyrics into a microphone while chasing a drum machine tumbling down the stairs."

I think more people would find it even more repulsive than they do were it not so juvenile in execution.

Vendetta · Post by **Vendetta** » 2005-07-14 09:59pm

Fatal has been clinically shown to extend the duration of your virginity.

Be smart kids, stay away.

mauldooku · Post by **mauldooku** » 2005-07-14 10:23pm

I know I've read this before. Check the archive board.

I mean, if you really want to roleplay brutal rape, then I guess Fatal's the game for you.

Spanky The Dolphin · Post by **Spanky The Dolphin** » 2005-07-14 10:38pm

Badme wrote:I know I've read this before. Check the archive board.

No, it's a totally different review of FATAL. For one thing, the one Marina posted all that time ago was part of some RPG network and had a white background, while this one has a black background.

The Dark · Post by **The Dark** » 2005-07-14 11:17pm

Wow...I remember actually looking over the preview when it was first released, and just sitting there thinking who the hell comes up with this sort of garbage? It's amusing only because of how atrociously bad it is, and wondering how someone like the author can get through life. It's almost as if RayCav wrote an RPG.

Post by **The Yosemite Bear** » 2005-07-15 12:29am

No Ray Cav and Ted both condemened FATAL when it first came out for preview....

Utsanomiko · Post by **Utsanomiko** » 2005-07-15 12:50am

Spanky The Dolphin wrote:Yeah, a long time ago Marina posted a link to a different review of it that I think might have been even longer. I got FUQed for replying with "I stopped reading when I got to converting height to get vaginal depth potential."

That review also had an MP3 of the "FATAL Theme," which was described as something like "Cookie Monster mumbling lame death metal lyrics into a microphone while chasing a drum machine tumbling down the stairs."

I think more people would find it even more repulsive than they do were it not so juvenile in execution.

That song cracks me up. Every time. It's just the dumbest set of sad lyrics, no notes, and a beat that's comparable to pounding on one's desk for two seconds, at about 6 pounds/second.

So it'd be like:
"(Something about blood, blah-blah-blah ), and nailing things to your door!"
BUM-BUM-BUM-BUM BUM-BUM-BUM-BUM BUM-BUM-BUM-BUM!!
"C is for Cookie, that's good enough for me!"
BUM-BUM-BUM-BUM BUM-BUM-BUM-BUM BUM-BUM-BUM-BUM!!

Hil-fucking-larious. I recommend it for mockery.

I still don't know what the hell bad death-metal is supposed to do with a supposedly 'realisitc representation of a medieval world'. Same goes for poop monsters and gargantuan breasts...

Post by **The Yosemite Bear** » 2005-07-15 01:02am

Which I think is part of why Ted and Ray Cav were so far against the game on this board. They both kept following Marina around like they could score points with her....

Eleas · Post by **Eleas** » 2005-07-15 02:59am

The Yosemite Bear wrote:Which I think is part of why Ted and Ray Cav were so far against the game on this board. They both kept following Marina around like they could score points with her....

Yeah, I remember. Cause everyone knows that the best way to snag a girl who's not even wired that way would be showing how much of a man you are in an RPG thread on a SciFi forum on the Internet...

Otherwise, I recall thinking the same thing: "This is something I'd expect out of an uncommonly industrious RayCav."

EDIT: Anyway, the thread subject. FATAL's worst problem (yes, I've read parts of it) is arguably the fact that it's rotten to the core. Even its much-touted "mythically accurate", whatever that means, research consists of parts Socratic dogma and thoroughly discredited anthropologic studies. There's to my knowledge no part of this game that actually could be salvaged and used for anything at all. Ever.

Captain tycho · Post by **Captain tycho** » 2005-07-15 04:10am

Ok, now I want to claw out my brain. I've seen my share of bad RPGs, but that...fucking takes the cake.