Baptism For the family's sake?

[FSTargetDrone]

A friend of mine and his wife will be having their first child in about a month. He is atheist, and I believe his wife is as well. My friend's mother is deeply religious, and her brother is a priest. I've been meaning to ask him if he will have his child baptized. If I was in his place, I would like to think I would not have the child baptized. But I wonder if he will simply have his baby baptized to placate his mother and other relatives. They presumably know my friend is not religious, but it would surely distress them to know that my friend's child would go unbaptized.

Let's assume you are in this situation: Neither you or your wife, husband or partner are religious. Either or both sides of your family are very religious. You know that to not have your child baptized would likely cause problems with your family. Your relatives keep encouraging you to have the child baptized. How do you proceed? Baptize the child for their sake? If you already don't believe in God or are not religious, the baptism is meaningless. Would you go along with it, or not? Is family peace more important that sticking to your own feelings?

[Zero]

I wouldn't baptise the child. I won't compromise my own position just because somebody else doesn't accept it. I decided to stop doing that a year ago when I got fed up with pretending to believe in god, and I'm not falling into it again...

[Surlethe]

I would. Since the baptism is meaningless, and the child is too young to understand what is going on, I don't see any harm in it, and undergoing baptism keeps familial peace.

[Alyeska]

I would not baptize my child. I would not interfer with my child when it comes to religion at all. I intend on letting them make their decision when they are old enough.

[Dooku's Disciple]

I see Surlethe's point, but must respectfully disagree. No child of mine will be baptised unless they want to and they're old enough to understand what they're signing up for.

My father baptised me when I was two months old, and I slept through the whole ceremony. That reflects my commitment to the Anglican church as a whole. I may once have had the watery outline of a cross on my forehead, but I grew up as a doubting Thomas rather than an obedient member of the flock. The vows that my godparents took on my behalf don't mean a thing to me, because I was neither awake nor aware enough to grasp what I was getting into.

Regardless of their intentions, what right does anyone have to speak for a baby and say "I turn to Christ"? At such a young age the kid would have no idea who Christ is, and certainly wouldn't have committed any sins that need to be repented or absolved. Just my $0.02

DD

[ArmorPierce]

My mother got me baptized because she wanted to have a party. No harm, no foul.

[Wicked Pilot]

There's nothing wrong with baptism when it involves soap.

[Darth Wong]

Let's assume you are in this situation: Neither you or your wife, husband or partner are religious. Either or both sides of your family are very religious. You know that to not have your child baptized would likely cause problems with your family. Your relatives keep encouraging you to have the child baptized. How do you proceed?

Tell them to keep their noses out of other peoples' business.

Baptize the child for their sake? If you already don't believe in God or are not religious, the baptism is meaningless. Would you go along with it, or not? Is family peace more important that sticking to your own feelings?

It's true that the baptism is meaningless. I let Matthew be baptised when he was a baby because my wife was still going to church and as a meaningless exercise, it really meant nothing to me either way.

However, wife != relative. If one of my relatives thinks that he's going to tell me how to raise my own kid, I'm nipping that shit in the bud right fucking now. If you let them get the idea that they can tell you what you can and can't do with your own child, you are opening a door that you do not want to open.

[mr friendly guy]

I am of the view that the child should decide on religious matters when they are old enough. While the baptism is meaningless, there are other costs involved in keeping familial peace, namely that you have allowed someone else to make decisions regarding your own kids.

[Adrian Laguna]

I agree with Mr. Wong. Your friend should not under any circumstances allow other people to tell him how to raise his child.

If in the same situation what I would do depends on where I am. If in the US then I probably wouldn't go through with it. If in Venezuela, the I most certainly will. This is because in my home country baptisms are essentially two things: 1) A naming ceremony/celebration that the baby was born, and 2) an excuse to throw a party.

[Xero Cool Down]

Depends on how much you value your relatives' opinion of you, and how much it really matters to your relatives.

[wolveraptor]

I oppose it because it's letting your relatives walk all over you. Like Mike said, they won't stop there.

On the other hand, if it really tears them up to see a child go without baptism, I'd probably put my pride aside and just do it. I guess it'd depend on how they ask. If they act like arrogant little fucks who think they can tell me how to parent, I won't have it. But if they just say it'd make them feel better, I'll go ahead and do it, on the condition that we don't have to continue with this religious type of behavior.

[Utsanomiko]

Don't do a baptism. It's a hassle and doesn't do anything, yet if it does, it means your kid is open to the chance of them going to Hell; unbaptized people merely go to limbo.

[LauraG]

Hi, everyone!

Let's assume you are in this situation: Neither you or your wife, husband or partner are religious. Either or both sides of your family are very religious. You know that to not have your child baptized would likely cause problems with your family.

Been there, done that.

Your relatives keep encouraging you to have the child baptized. How do you proceed? Baptize the child for their sake?

My family didn't get to the point of insisting, but it was obvious they would sometime, so I baptized my daughter and got that over with.

If you already don't believe in God or are not religious, the baptism is meaningless. Would you go along with it, or not?

That's about as far as they got with religion and my daughter. From that point on she's been in a non-religious school. If she wants to know more, she can ask me and I'll try to be as objective as I can while still making sure she has the tools to think it all through. It's up to her to pick her own road after that.

Is family peace more important that sticking to your own feelings?

No, it's not, but baptism isn't really that important or meaningful to me. I didn't feel like I was selling out by having that ceremony any more than I feel like I'm selling out by, I don't know, going to a friend's church wedding.

[Drunk Monkey]

I would wait for that child to decide for himself if he wants baptism, if my child wants to get baptized when he’s older I wouldn’t give a shit, as a child I would not allow it for it may interfere with religious beliefs he may develop later on.

[Lusankya]

I know plenty of people who had a priest for a grandparent, but were not themselves baptised. I don't quite know what the priest grandparents thought, but it didn't seem to cause any irreperable damage to the families.

[Netko]

<shrug> I would leave the decision to my wife/gf. Considering that my family is basicly neutral on the whole religion issue (most are non or barely practising catholics while some are very moderate practising muslims) and I know that there would be no real damage either way, I would leave the decision to the partner who actualy maybe has a situation where a decision may be important. If we both have a neutral situation, I would *maybe* do it since it helps out in the cultural norm sence, but probably not (I am not baptised and had no bad expiriences do to it, however I've had some interesting ones do to it).

[Crown]

If both me and my partner couldn't care either way, I'd baptize my children just to 'appease' the old ones. I don't see the problem. I view it more as a cultural tradition than a religious one anyway, and plus (being Greek) a Godfather/Godmother plays an important role in my life (something Italians have in common I believe) as a child, and as a parent.

[Frank Hipper]

My kids, my rules, no baptism.

[Cairber]

I agree with the sentiments here. (although I am catholic and my child has just had her baptism). But that was the choice of our family, our IMMEDIATE family. Don't let your friends or relatives start telling you how to raise your children...you give them an inch, and they take 1324321348397583476359708985609870958765098705 miles. ARRRRRRG (no, Im not bitter about being told 24 hrs a day about how to raise my kid....)

[genkkov]

It's pascal's wager, hehe

[Noble Ire]

I probably wouldn't have them baptised.

Certainly, it is a fairly meaning less procedure, and it could asuage some obnoxious relatives, but I strongly dislike the idea of forcing religion on a child when their too young to make a choice about it, even if it is only in a symoblic manner.

[spikenigma]

depends on how the family words their desire for my child to be baptised

* if it's something along the lines of: " many generations of our family have been baptised and it would mean so much to us if he/she were "

I'd go along with it

* if it's: " we know you're an atheist, but if you don't baptise your son/daughter, you are letting him/her down and the family will look down on you "

I wouldn't

[Instant Sunrise]

My belief is that baptism is a personal choice for the person being baptised.

Infants are too young to grasp that choice. Therefore, I would have them wait until they are truly ready to make that decision on their own.

[Glimmervoid]

I was not baptised at birth and neither was any of my brothers or sisters. However when my sister turned 12(for some reason she wanted it on her birth day and she would not listen to my logic about how if she waited a week she could get two parties/set of presents) she chose to get baptised. Baptism is meaningless and is only really important as a symbolic new life with the church. There for it makes no sense for a baby to be baptised since they would not understand what is happening.

In conclusion let the child choose when they are older.