Zaia's Babysitting Adventure!
Moderator: LadyTevar
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darthdavid
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Darth Yoshi
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Hehe. A church over a portal to hell. That's classic.
Lore Monkey | the Pichu-master™
Secularism—since AD 80
Av: Elika; Prince of Persia
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Singular Quartet
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Dalton
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Somehow I get the feeling that your rendition of Lindar is spot-on.
To Absent Friends
"y = mx + bro" - Surlethe
"You try THAT shit again, kid, and I will mod you. I will
mod you so hard, you'll wish I were Dalton." - Lagmonster
May the way of the Hero lead to the Triforce.
You mean like:Dalton wrote:Somehow I get the feeling that your rendition of Lindar is spot-on.
LINDAR: Yay! I love Subway!
CYRAN: You love everything and everyone.
LINDAR: I do! Yay!
*dies laughing*
"On the infrequent occasions when I have been called upon in a formal place to play the bongo drums, the introducer never seems to find it necessary to mention that I also do theoretical physics." -Richard Feynman
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Captain Cyran
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*looks over the depiction of Subway workers* You're rendition of my current occupation was not overly hostile... you may live for now. 
Good stuff Kuja, as always Lindar takes the stage away from everyone with her crazy ass antics.
ZAIA: What did I say about swearing?!
*CYRAN coughs and kinda looks around.*
CYRAN: Uhhh, BrainChild made me do it?
Good stuff Kuja, as always Lindar takes the stage away from everyone with her crazy ass antics.
ZAIA: What did I say about swearing?!
*CYRAN coughs and kinda looks around.*
CYRAN: Uhhh, BrainChild made me do it?
Justice League, Super-Villain Carnage "Carnage Rules!" Cult of the Kitten Mew... The Black Mage with The Knife SD.Net Chronicler of the Past Bun Bun is my hero. The Official Verilonitis Vaccinator
PART 9: Demons are People Too, Dammit!
BALROG 2: WHO'S THE LITTLE RUNT HERE WHO JUST SIGNED HIS OWN DEATH WARRANT?!
*chaos ensues as people dive for cover*
ZAIA: Cyran-
CYRAN: I DIDN'T DO IT THIS TIME!
NANAHI: Everyone shut up!
*silence*
NANAHI: Hi!
BALROGS: Hi, Nanahi!
*they smile and wave*
ZAIA: So...friends of yours?
NANAHI: Um, kind of. They work for my dad.
*CHIBIZILLA immediately ducks under the table*
CYRAN: Holy crap.
BRAINCHILD: Mental notation: avoid unpleasantries with Nanahi's parents at any cost.
*NANAHI slithers over to the BALROGS*
NANAHI: Now...I haven't seen you guys in a while. *a pause* You're Serat, right?
BALROG 1: Yep!
NANAHI: So that makes you...Jerat?
BALROG 2: Right!
*NANAHI turns back to look at ZAIA*
NANAHI: They're brothers.
SERAT: Twins, actually.
NANAHI: Oh, come on, it's the same thing. Anyway, Jerat and Serat, meet Zaia. She's watching me for the night.
BALROGS: *in chorus* Hello, Zaia!
ZAIA: Um...hi.
*she waves weakly*
NANAHI: So, do you want to join us?
BALROGS: Uh...
*they exchange a look*
JERAT: Yeah!
SERAT: Sure!
*NANAHI slithers back over to ZAIA*
NANAHI: Could you pay for them? I promise you'll get it back.
ZAIA: Sure, I guess.
SUBWAY GUY: Uh-
ZAIA: No questions and you all get another five.
*back to work for them*
JERAT: Vegetable sub.
CYRAN: A vegetarian demon? Now that's freaky.
JERAT: And don't toast the bun, scorch it.
CYAN: Extra freaky.
LINDAR: I think he's cute.
CYRAN: Super extra freaky.
SERAT: That Italian BLT one looks good. And put some hot sauce on it.
*the SUBWAY GUY makes the sub and spatters some hot sauce over it*
SERAT: More.
*the GUY adds some more*
SERAT: More.
*the GUY puts on enough to soak the top bun*
SERAT: More.
JERAT: Maybe you want some sub with your hot sauce? Christ.
SERAT: Hey, don't use that kind of language, there's kids present.
*the two get their orders and join the group as ZAIA pays*
NANAHI: Anyway, what brings you up here?
JERAT: Running a couple errands. Speaking of which-
SERAT: Ugh, this thing is soggy.
*JERAT rolls his eyes*
JERAT: You had the guy put, what, two-thirds of a bottle on there? Of course it's soggy.
SERAT: And it's not hot enough.
NANAHI: Anyway.
CYRAN: How's the peppers?
JERAT: Not bad. Could be spicier but I don't like Jalapenos.
CYRAN: No?
JERAT: Nah, they give me the runs.
CYRAN: Ah, I know how that can be.
JERAT: *snorts* Kid, I'm a creature made out of molten rock and smoke. Do you REALLY think you know how it can be?
CYRAN: I stand corrected.
NANAHI: ANYWAY!
*BALROGS cower*
SERAT: Sorry! Sorry!
JERAT: We came here to deal with that guy!
NANAHI: What?
JERAT: We were told somebody decided to hurt you, so we got sent up to smack him.
SERAT: So, do you know where he is?
*CHIBIZILLA yowls and launches himself up from under the table, attempting to jump over the booth and to the door, but not quite making it as his foot snags on the top of the booth and he ends up dropping to the floor in an unceremonious SPLAT*
NANAHI: *deadpan* Well, I was going to say that we took care of him already, but I guess Captain Graceful just gave himself away.
SERAT: Let's get him!
BALROG 2: WHO'S THE LITTLE RUNT HERE WHO JUST SIGNED HIS OWN DEATH WARRANT?!
*chaos ensues as people dive for cover*
ZAIA: Cyran-
CYRAN: I DIDN'T DO IT THIS TIME!
NANAHI: Everyone shut up!
*silence*
NANAHI: Hi!
BALROGS: Hi, Nanahi!
*they smile and wave*
ZAIA: So...friends of yours?
NANAHI: Um, kind of. They work for my dad.
*CHIBIZILLA immediately ducks under the table*
CYRAN: Holy crap.
BRAINCHILD: Mental notation: avoid unpleasantries with Nanahi's parents at any cost.
*NANAHI slithers over to the BALROGS*
NANAHI: Now...I haven't seen you guys in a while. *a pause* You're Serat, right?
BALROG 1: Yep!
NANAHI: So that makes you...Jerat?
BALROG 2: Right!
*NANAHI turns back to look at ZAIA*
NANAHI: They're brothers.
SERAT: Twins, actually.
NANAHI: Oh, come on, it's the same thing. Anyway, Jerat and Serat, meet Zaia. She's watching me for the night.
BALROGS: *in chorus* Hello, Zaia!
ZAIA: Um...hi.
*she waves weakly*
NANAHI: So, do you want to join us?
BALROGS: Uh...
*they exchange a look*
JERAT: Yeah!
SERAT: Sure!
*NANAHI slithers back over to ZAIA*
NANAHI: Could you pay for them? I promise you'll get it back.
ZAIA: Sure, I guess.
SUBWAY GUY: Uh-
ZAIA: No questions and you all get another five.
*back to work for them*
JERAT: Vegetable sub.
CYRAN: A vegetarian demon? Now that's freaky.
JERAT: And don't toast the bun, scorch it.
CYAN: Extra freaky.
LINDAR: I think he's cute.
CYRAN: Super extra freaky.
SERAT: That Italian BLT one looks good. And put some hot sauce on it.
*the SUBWAY GUY makes the sub and spatters some hot sauce over it*
SERAT: More.
*the GUY adds some more*
SERAT: More.
*the GUY puts on enough to soak the top bun*
SERAT: More.
JERAT: Maybe you want some sub with your hot sauce? Christ.
SERAT: Hey, don't use that kind of language, there's kids present.
*the two get their orders and join the group as ZAIA pays*
NANAHI: Anyway, what brings you up here?
JERAT: Running a couple errands. Speaking of which-
SERAT: Ugh, this thing is soggy.
*JERAT rolls his eyes*
JERAT: You had the guy put, what, two-thirds of a bottle on there? Of course it's soggy.
SERAT: And it's not hot enough.
NANAHI: Anyway.
CYRAN: How's the peppers?
JERAT: Not bad. Could be spicier but I don't like Jalapenos.
CYRAN: No?
JERAT: Nah, they give me the runs.
CYRAN: Ah, I know how that can be.
JERAT: *snorts* Kid, I'm a creature made out of molten rock and smoke. Do you REALLY think you know how it can be?
CYRAN: I stand corrected.
NANAHI: ANYWAY!
*BALROGS cower*
SERAT: Sorry! Sorry!
JERAT: We came here to deal with that guy!
NANAHI: What?
JERAT: We were told somebody decided to hurt you, so we got sent up to smack him.
SERAT: So, do you know where he is?
*CHIBIZILLA yowls and launches himself up from under the table, attempting to jump over the booth and to the door, but not quite making it as his foot snags on the top of the booth and he ends up dropping to the floor in an unceremonious SPLAT*
NANAHI: *deadpan* Well, I was going to say that we took care of him already, but I guess Captain Graceful just gave himself away.
SERAT: Let's get him!
JADAFETWA
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Singular Quartet
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Ford Prefect
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Singular Quartet
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When Kaiju are involved, Tokyo always loses.Ford Prefect wrote:I liked the Men in Black reference too.
Does this mean the next chapter's going to filled with rough and tumble city destroying madness? WILL TOKYO LOOSE?!
Oh, where's the fun in that?Zaia wrote:*resolves to learn how to say the word "No" this week*
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Captain Cyran
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Singular Quartet
- Sith Marauder
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*beams happily* Can i keep him though? I mean aren't vegetarian demon things rather rare n such? And he don't look THAT scaryJERAT: Vegetable sub.
CYRAN: A vegetarian demon? Now that's freaky.
JERAT: And don't toast the bun, scorch it.
CYAN: Extra freaky.
LINDAR: I think he's cute.
CYRAN: Super extra freaky.
*snuggles up to Zaia laughing* Love You!!!!*gleee* isn't this fun???*eyes Cyran and debates what can be done to him.... ooooooh....*poor ChibiZ!
the longer i wait,the more i forget.the more i forget, the longer the list of desires grows. for that which is wanted is forbidden. and we all know that forbidden fruit is often the sweetest.Don'tcha wish your g/f was a witch like me?~*~AYVBABTU
Exactly.Lindar wrote:*beams happily* Can i keep him though? I mean aren't vegetarian demon things rather rare n such? And he don't look THAT scary
*snuggles up to Zaia laughing* Love You!!!!*gleee* isn't this fun???*eyes Cyran and debates what can be done to him.... ooooooh....*poor ChibiZ!
*hugs Lin, shaking my head and laughing* Love you too, beautiful.
"On the infrequent occasions when I have been called upon in a formal place to play the bongo drums, the introducer never seems to find it necessary to mention that I also do theoretical physics." -Richard Feynman
*SQUEEEEEEEE, CLING* oH I WANNA stay...i don't wanna go away no moreeeee*hugs* You keep the boys in line... am thinking of fun new tricks to teach them.... and since all i have is time....*nip* you're gonna like them... i hope.....oooh! breakky we can go to ihop!!!!Zaia wrote: Exactly.
*hugs Lin, shaking my head and laughing* Love you too, beautiful.
the longer i wait,the more i forget.the more i forget, the longer the list of desires grows. for that which is wanted is forbidden. and we all know that forbidden fruit is often the sweetest.Don'tcha wish your g/f was a witch like me?~*~AYVBABTU
PART 10: How Many People Wanna Kick Some Ass?
*CHIBIZILLA bursts out the Subway door, immediately followed by the BALROGS leaping through the front window*
CHIBIZILLA: ROOOOONNNNK!
*he whips a small book out of his backpack and begins furiously paging through it*
SERAT: SMASH! BURN! KILL!
JERAT: CRUSH! SLASH! BURN!
SERAT: Hey, I said burn first!
JERAT: Oh, shut up.
CHIBIZILLA: *makes weird gargling noises*
*An upside-down pentagram appears in the air around CHIBIZILLA and suddenly launches a fireball that slams into SERAT and knocks him on his ass*
NANAHI: Was that Solomon's Key?!
JERAT: Are you okay?
SERAT: Kinda like the love taps my girlfriend used to give me.
*CHIBIZILLA smacks himself on the forehead*
CHIBIZILLA: Ark.
*JERAT retrieves a flaming whip*
JERAT: My turn!
*he cracks the whip near CHIBIZILLA'S head, knocking him to the ground with a yelp. As SERAT stands, JERAT starts to advance, but CHIBIZILLA sits up and chucks the small book at him. JERAT catches it and looks at it curiously, then it explodes in his hand, engulfing him*
ZAIA: What the hell? Book grenades?!
SERAT: BRO!
*the smoke from the explosion dissipates, leaving JERAT standing there unharmed*
JERAT: Tastes like mommy's kisses. *he chuckles*
BRAINCHILD: That's no good! You need cold-based attacks!
SERAT: *mutters* Jeez, open fire on us with a machine gun, why don't you.
*CHIBIZILLA again begins searching through his backpack*
JERAT: Oh, no you don't!
*he whips just as CHIBIZILLA retrieves a small container of blue liquid. The container erupts, instantly covering CHIBIZILLA in blue goop that quickly hardens into ice*
SERAT: WOOHOO! You did it!
*BALROGS make noises of celebration. Cracks begin to spiderweb the ice and it shatters, dropping CHIBIZILLA to the ground*
CHIBIZILLA: Uuuurrrrrrk...
SERAT: Let's finish him.
*the BALROGS begin to move in. SERAT draws a large flaming sword and begins spinning it in one hand. CHIBIZILLA stands weakly, wobbling as he reaches his full height – of two feet. The BALROGS are now bracketing him*
ALETIA: Chi!
JERAT: Huh?
*he turns to get a blast of wet silk in the face. He howls and drops his whip*
JERAT: OOOOWWWWW! MY EYES! SHE GOT MY EYES! I CAN'T SEE, MAN!
SERAT: Hey, stay out of this!
*ALETIA advances on JERAT, still spraying him. SERAT moves to stop her, but CHIBIZILLA suddenly shakes his head, then begins to suck in a huge breath, his spines glow, energy begins to collect around his mouth, you know the drill. He fires his nuke breath, catching SERAT in the side and sending him flying into a nearby building*
LINDAR: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!
*JERAT continues to stumble backward, sputtering and flailing wildly*
JERAT: SHE'S PUTTING OUT MY FIRE, MAN!
*SERAT suddenly charges back through the hole with a roar*
SERAT: I'M GONNA GET YOU, YA LITTLE FREAK!
CHIBIZLLA: Rawk!
*he turns and runs, darting between JERAT'S legs. SERAT slams into his brother and they go tumbling, becoming hopelessly entangled in the threads of silk still being fired by ALETIA*
JERAT: I CAN'T SEE!
SERAT: I CAN'T BREATHE!
JERAT: GET YOUR ELBOW OUT OF MY FACE!
SERAT: GET YOUR KNEE OUT OF MY BACK!
*CHIBIZILLA runs over and picks up the whole bundle, slowly turning it so that ALETIA can completely cover the two BALROGS with silk, eventually forming a huge silk ball. Once done, CHIBZILLA winds up and sends the huge ball rolling down the street*
ZAIA: A pair of giant flaming demons beaten by a couple of two-foot monster kiddies.
NANAHI: Yeah, their reputation might never recover.
*CHIBIZILLA runs over to ALETIA and hugs her*
CHIBIZILLA: Ronk!
ALETIA: Chi!
ZAIA: ...and now they're best friends.
LINDAR: AAWWWWWWWW!
*a car comes screeching to a halt nearby. DAVID leans out the window*
DAVID: If he starts pushing her around again, it's her fault for taking him back!
*he tears off before anyone can reply*
BRAINCHILD: I believe that the most pertinent question to ask now is the following. Nanahi, is this issue settled or is that pair going to come back a second time?
NANAHI: Uh...I can't be sure. Maybe I should call my dad.
ZAIA: Well then, let's get going.
SUBWAY GUY: Hey, somebody needs to pay for the damages and explain this to the police!
ZAIA: BACK TO THE CAR! NOW!
*CHIBIZILLA bursts out the Subway door, immediately followed by the BALROGS leaping through the front window*
CHIBIZILLA: ROOOOONNNNK!
*he whips a small book out of his backpack and begins furiously paging through it*
SERAT: SMASH! BURN! KILL!
JERAT: CRUSH! SLASH! BURN!
SERAT: Hey, I said burn first!
JERAT: Oh, shut up.
CHIBIZILLA: *makes weird gargling noises*
*An upside-down pentagram appears in the air around CHIBIZILLA and suddenly launches a fireball that slams into SERAT and knocks him on his ass*
NANAHI: Was that Solomon's Key?!
JERAT: Are you okay?
SERAT: Kinda like the love taps my girlfriend used to give me.
*CHIBIZILLA smacks himself on the forehead*
CHIBIZILLA: Ark.
*JERAT retrieves a flaming whip*
JERAT: My turn!
*he cracks the whip near CHIBIZILLA'S head, knocking him to the ground with a yelp. As SERAT stands, JERAT starts to advance, but CHIBIZILLA sits up and chucks the small book at him. JERAT catches it and looks at it curiously, then it explodes in his hand, engulfing him*
ZAIA: What the hell? Book grenades?!
SERAT: BRO!
*the smoke from the explosion dissipates, leaving JERAT standing there unharmed*
JERAT: Tastes like mommy's kisses. *he chuckles*
BRAINCHILD: That's no good! You need cold-based attacks!
SERAT: *mutters* Jeez, open fire on us with a machine gun, why don't you.
*CHIBIZILLA again begins searching through his backpack*
JERAT: Oh, no you don't!
*he whips just as CHIBIZILLA retrieves a small container of blue liquid. The container erupts, instantly covering CHIBIZILLA in blue goop that quickly hardens into ice*
SERAT: WOOHOO! You did it!
*BALROGS make noises of celebration. Cracks begin to spiderweb the ice and it shatters, dropping CHIBIZILLA to the ground*
CHIBIZILLA: Uuuurrrrrrk...
SERAT: Let's finish him.
*the BALROGS begin to move in. SERAT draws a large flaming sword and begins spinning it in one hand. CHIBIZILLA stands weakly, wobbling as he reaches his full height – of two feet. The BALROGS are now bracketing him*
ALETIA: Chi!
JERAT: Huh?
*he turns to get a blast of wet silk in the face. He howls and drops his whip*
JERAT: OOOOWWWWW! MY EYES! SHE GOT MY EYES! I CAN'T SEE, MAN!
SERAT: Hey, stay out of this!
*ALETIA advances on JERAT, still spraying him. SERAT moves to stop her, but CHIBIZILLA suddenly shakes his head, then begins to suck in a huge breath, his spines glow, energy begins to collect around his mouth, you know the drill. He fires his nuke breath, catching SERAT in the side and sending him flying into a nearby building*
LINDAR: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!
*JERAT continues to stumble backward, sputtering and flailing wildly*
JERAT: SHE'S PUTTING OUT MY FIRE, MAN!
*SERAT suddenly charges back through the hole with a roar*
SERAT: I'M GONNA GET YOU, YA LITTLE FREAK!
CHIBIZLLA: Rawk!
*he turns and runs, darting between JERAT'S legs. SERAT slams into his brother and they go tumbling, becoming hopelessly entangled in the threads of silk still being fired by ALETIA*
JERAT: I CAN'T SEE!
SERAT: I CAN'T BREATHE!
JERAT: GET YOUR ELBOW OUT OF MY FACE!
SERAT: GET YOUR KNEE OUT OF MY BACK!
*CHIBIZILLA runs over and picks up the whole bundle, slowly turning it so that ALETIA can completely cover the two BALROGS with silk, eventually forming a huge silk ball. Once done, CHIBZILLA winds up and sends the huge ball rolling down the street*
ZAIA: A pair of giant flaming demons beaten by a couple of two-foot monster kiddies.
NANAHI: Yeah, their reputation might never recover.
*CHIBIZILLA runs over to ALETIA and hugs her*
CHIBIZILLA: Ronk!
ALETIA: Chi!
ZAIA: ...and now they're best friends.
LINDAR: AAWWWWWWWW!
*a car comes screeching to a halt nearby. DAVID leans out the window*
DAVID: If he starts pushing her around again, it's her fault for taking him back!
*he tears off before anyone can reply*
BRAINCHILD: I believe that the most pertinent question to ask now is the following. Nanahi, is this issue settled or is that pair going to come back a second time?
NANAHI: Uh...I can't be sure. Maybe I should call my dad.
ZAIA: Well then, let's get going.
SUBWAY GUY: Hey, somebody needs to pay for the damages and explain this to the police!
ZAIA: BACK TO THE CAR! NOW!
JADAFETWA
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Ford Prefect
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darthdavid
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PART 11: Godzilla vs. Jesus
*OPEN UP on seashore in the Middle East. A MAN is lecturing to a massive crowd of people*
JESUS: And so he who exalts himself shall be humbled, and he who humbles himself shall be exalted.
*the people in the crowd murmur for awhile, then a MAN steps forward*
MAN: Is it true that you claim to be the son of God?
JESUS: You said that, not me.
MAN: Answer the question, damn it!
*the ground suddenly begins to shake and rumble. Waves form out at sea. Only JESUS and the APOSTLES stand firmly*
PETER: What is it?
JESUS: Believe and all shall be revealed.
THOMAS: Are you sure?
JESUS: Yes.
THOMAS: Really sure?
JESUS: Yes.
JUDAS: He's yanking your chain, Tom.
JESUS: I am not.
*out at sea, a giant head suddenly rises out of the water, followed by a huge black body. GODZILLA looks down at the shore with maddened pupil-less eyes and bellows. People panic and begin to scatter*
JESUS: Amen I say to you, that you will not harm these people.
MAN: Wow.
LUKE: Now you know why we hang around this guy.
*GODZILLA begins making his way towards shore, bellowing again*
JESUS: Thou shalt not come closer.
*GODZILLA suddenly freezes and shakes his head as though confused. JESUS makes a hand motion*
JESUS: You will turn and go back to the sea.
*everyone watches expectantly as GODZILLA seems to twitch randomly. He grunts in consternation*
JESUS: You WILL turn and go back to the sea.
MATTHEW: Is it working?
JESUS: He is very powerful, very antagonistic, very determined. But he is not invulnerable.
JUDAS: It's wearing off!
*GODZILLA suddenly bellows again and begins to focus his breath weapon*
PAUL: We're dead meat!
JESUS: Amen I say to you, faith in me is the shield that will protect you from giant lizards with ugly faces and bad teeth.
*GODZILLA howls in anger and fires his nuke breath. People scream and duck away, like that'll do anything. Amazingly, the blast of fire is deflected away from the beach by an invisible force. The attack ends with GODZILLA looking stunned and JESUS still standing calmly on the beach*
MARK: Is this the part where we turn the other cheek?
CROWD: NO!
*GODZILLA rears up and takes a swipe at the shoreline. The APOSTLES scatter as JESUS jumps high into the air, coming down on GODZILLA'S hand. GODZILLA grunts and spins, flinging his hand out. JESUS goes flying, doing a double backflip before gracefully landing on his feet, bobbing up and down with the waves. GODZILLA advances on him*
LINDAR (VO): So what happened next?
CYRAN (VO): Wait a second.
*CUT TO ZAIA'S car*
CYRAN: You're telling me that your great-great-granddad fought Jesus.
CHIBIZILLA: Ronk!
CYRAN: And they left it out of the Bible.
CHIBIZILLA: Ronk!
CYRAN: And out of those untold hundreds of people there, nobody wrote a story about the giant monster.
CHIBIZILLA: Ronk!
CYRAN: Yeah, right. Tell me another one.
CHIBIZILLA: Rooooonnnnk!
CYRAN: What do you mean you've got waterfront property in Kansas?
LINDAR: I still want to know how the story ends.
*CHIBIZILLA crosses his arms and looks up at the roof of the car*
CHIBIZILLA: Rark.
CYRAN: Yeah right. You just haven't thought up an ending yet.
ALETIA: Chi!
CYRAN: I am not being mean!
ALETIA: Chi!
*a 'chomp' sound*
CYRAN: OOOOOWWWWWWW!
*OPEN UP on seashore in the Middle East. A MAN is lecturing to a massive crowd of people*
JESUS: And so he who exalts himself shall be humbled, and he who humbles himself shall be exalted.
*the people in the crowd murmur for awhile, then a MAN steps forward*
MAN: Is it true that you claim to be the son of God?
JESUS: You said that, not me.
MAN: Answer the question, damn it!
*the ground suddenly begins to shake and rumble. Waves form out at sea. Only JESUS and the APOSTLES stand firmly*
PETER: What is it?
JESUS: Believe and all shall be revealed.
THOMAS: Are you sure?
JESUS: Yes.
THOMAS: Really sure?
JESUS: Yes.
JUDAS: He's yanking your chain, Tom.
JESUS: I am not.
*out at sea, a giant head suddenly rises out of the water, followed by a huge black body. GODZILLA looks down at the shore with maddened pupil-less eyes and bellows. People panic and begin to scatter*
JESUS: Amen I say to you, that you will not harm these people.
MAN: Wow.
LUKE: Now you know why we hang around this guy.
*GODZILLA begins making his way towards shore, bellowing again*
JESUS: Thou shalt not come closer.
*GODZILLA suddenly freezes and shakes his head as though confused. JESUS makes a hand motion*
JESUS: You will turn and go back to the sea.
*everyone watches expectantly as GODZILLA seems to twitch randomly. He grunts in consternation*
JESUS: You WILL turn and go back to the sea.
MATTHEW: Is it working?
JESUS: He is very powerful, very antagonistic, very determined. But he is not invulnerable.
JUDAS: It's wearing off!
*GODZILLA suddenly bellows again and begins to focus his breath weapon*
PAUL: We're dead meat!
JESUS: Amen I say to you, faith in me is the shield that will protect you from giant lizards with ugly faces and bad teeth.
*GODZILLA howls in anger and fires his nuke breath. People scream and duck away, like that'll do anything. Amazingly, the blast of fire is deflected away from the beach by an invisible force. The attack ends with GODZILLA looking stunned and JESUS still standing calmly on the beach*
MARK: Is this the part where we turn the other cheek?
CROWD: NO!
*GODZILLA rears up and takes a swipe at the shoreline. The APOSTLES scatter as JESUS jumps high into the air, coming down on GODZILLA'S hand. GODZILLA grunts and spins, flinging his hand out. JESUS goes flying, doing a double backflip before gracefully landing on his feet, bobbing up and down with the waves. GODZILLA advances on him*
LINDAR (VO): So what happened next?
CYRAN (VO): Wait a second.
*CUT TO ZAIA'S car*
CYRAN: You're telling me that your great-great-granddad fought Jesus.
CHIBIZILLA: Ronk!
CYRAN: And they left it out of the Bible.
CHIBIZILLA: Ronk!
CYRAN: And out of those untold hundreds of people there, nobody wrote a story about the giant monster.
CHIBIZILLA: Ronk!
CYRAN: Yeah, right. Tell me another one.
CHIBIZILLA: Rooooonnnnk!
CYRAN: What do you mean you've got waterfront property in Kansas?
LINDAR: I still want to know how the story ends.
*CHIBIZILLA crosses his arms and looks up at the roof of the car*
CHIBIZILLA: Rark.
CYRAN: Yeah right. You just haven't thought up an ending yet.
ALETIA: Chi!
CYRAN: I am not being mean!
ALETIA: Chi!
*a 'chomp' sound*
CYRAN: OOOOOWWWWWWW!
JADAFETWA
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Darth Yoshi
- Metroid
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- Joined: 2002-07-04 10:00pm
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1st post!
Hehe, Jesus vs. Godzilla. And poor Cyran doesn't know when to keep his trap shut.
Hehe, Jesus vs. Godzilla. And poor Cyran doesn't know when to keep his trap shut.
Lore Monkey | the Pichu-master™
Secularism—since AD 80
Av: Elika; Prince of Persia
I kind of expected Jesus to pull out a lightsaber half way through that.
This humor knows no bounds.
The Rift
Stanislav Petrov- The man who saved the world
Hugh Thompson Jr.- A True American Hero
"In the unlikely story that is America, there has never been anything false about hope." - President Barack Obama
"May fortune favor you, for your goals are the goals of the world." - Ancient Chall valediction
Stanislav Petrov- The man who saved the world
Hugh Thompson Jr.- A True American Hero
"In the unlikely story that is America, there has never been anything false about hope." - President Barack Obama
"May fortune favor you, for your goals are the goals of the world." - Ancient Chall valediction
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Ford Prefect
- Emperor's Hand
- Posts: 8254
- Joined: 2005-05-16 04:08am
- Location: The real number domain