URGENT: Advice needed.

Durandal · Post by **Durandal** » 2002-11-24 02:25pm

The boyfriend is doomed, and he deserves every lick of the sentence he gets. Having sex with a fourteen year-old is bad enough, but unprotected sex just makes him a complete dumbass who deserves jail-time.

As for the pregnancy, she should find out immediately if she's pregnant or not and have an abortion as soon as possible if she is. Then I'd recommend her getting serious therapy. Without some sort of intervention, this thing is bound to happen again, and she won't be able to continually keep dodging the bullet. Her problems are bound to hit her harder if not tended to.

ArmorPierce · Post by **ArmorPierce** » 2002-11-24 02:41pm

If he is 17 then he is under age also and there shouldn't be any ramifications for him having sex with her. Tell her to tell her parents and suggest to her to get a abortion. The sooner the better.

Stormbringer · Post by **Stormbringer** » 2002-11-24 03:00pm

Durandal wrote:The boyfriend is doomed, and he deserves every lick of the sentence he gets. Having sex with a fourteen year-old is bad enough, but unprotected sex just makes him a complete dumbass who deserves jail-time.

No, he deserves to have his balls kicked up into his throat. He took shameless advantage of her and I have no mercy in my soul for a human garbage like that.

Tsyroc · Post by **Tsyroc** » 2002-11-24 03:46pm

Stormbringer wrote:
Durandal wrote:The boyfriend is doomed, and he deserves every lick of the sentence he gets. Having sex with a fourteen year-old is bad enough, but unprotected sex just makes him a complete dumbass who deserves jail-time.
No, he deserves to have his balls kicked up into his throat. He took shameless advantage of her and I have no mercy in my soul for a human garbage like that.

AND he's a dumbass for not using a condom (another way he took advantage of her).

Stormbringer · Post by **Stormbringer** » 2002-11-24 04:25pm

Tsyroc wrote:
Stormbringer wrote:
Durandal wrote:The boyfriend is doomed, and he deserves every lick of the sentence he gets. Having sex with a fourteen year-old is bad enough, but unprotected sex just makes him a complete dumbass who deserves jail-time.
No, he deserves to have his balls kicked up into his throat. He took shameless advantage of her and I have no mercy in my soul for a human garbage like that.

AND he's a dumbass for not using a condom (another way he took advantage of her).

That was kind of the shameless part. But I agree, getting a fourteen year old pregnant should be a capital crime. It's guys like that who make me ashamed of my half of the species so much of the time.

pecker · Post by **pecker** » 2002-11-24 04:26pm

HOW OLD HIS HER BOYFRIEND!!!

For all we know, he's only 14 or 15 too. Don't jump to too many conclusions.

Stormbringer · Post by **Stormbringer** » 2002-11-24 04:30pm

pecker wrote:HOW OLD HIS HER BOYFRIEND!!!

For all we know, he's only 14 or 15 too. Don't jump to too many conclusions.

He's seventeen according to what we've been told by Exonerate.

pecker · Post by **pecker** » 2002-11-24 04:36pm

Stormbringer wrote:
pecker wrote:HOW OLD HIS HER BOYFRIEND!!!

For all we know, he's only 14 or 15 too. Don't jump to too many conclusions.
He's seventeen according to what we've been told by Exonerate.

I thought that was just a guess. But if that true, Ewwww.

Stormbringer · Post by **Stormbringer** » 2002-11-24 04:39pm

pecker wrote:
Stormbringer wrote:
pecker wrote:HOW OLD HIS HER BOYFRIEND!!!

For all we know, he's only 14 or 15 too. Don't jump to too many conclusions.
He's seventeen according to what we've been told by Exonerate.
I thought that was just a guess. But if that true, Ewwww.

It's his estimate, but the shitbag has got to be a fair bit older than she is. Reason enough for a beating in my opinion.

C.S.Strowbridge · Post by **C.S.Strowbridge** » 2002-11-24 06:31pm

Exonerate wrote:She lives in Hawaii. A few years ago, the age of consent was 14 (Way too young). They raised to 16, I think, and made it so that if a minor engaged in sex with somebody over 18, it would quallify as statuatory rape, even if it was consensual. I could care less about her BF. By his behaviour, I can already tell he's a total ass. She's had more than 20 ex-BFs... Very lacking in self-confidence, and as I said before, she has a history of depression, cutting herself with razor blades, etc. She confided in me that she did this so the boyfriend wouldn't leave... Yeah, its really sad. I have no idea if there is somebody else she can live with, or how religious her parents are. My guess is that they probably aren't that strict, since she isn't religious at all. It's also my understanding that her parents have no idea whats going on. Right now, I'm considering even bypassing her, and going straight to the parents, but first, I'll try to convince her to tell them.

Ok, couple of things.

1.) Having a kid could help her with emotional issues, I've seen it happen. But the risk could be too great if she doesn't have a strong emotional support system with her parents and / or extended family. If they don't know what's going on, and I got that impression, then that's a bas sign. And the fact that she did this to stop her boyfriend from leaving is also a bad sign.

2.) Tell her to tell her parents or you will tell them. Make sure you tell her that you will talk to her parent afterwards, so she can't pretend she's done it. You might lose her as a friend, but if she doesn't get help soon you might lose her to depression and whatever chemicals she decides to use to get away from depression.

3.) If the boyfriend is 18+ I hope he goes to jail and gets anally raped. If he's just 17 he can skip the anal raping, as long as he gets beaten up.

C.S.Strowbridge · Post by **C.S.Strowbridge** » 2002-11-24 06:34pm

Stormbringer wrote:
Durandal wrote:The boyfriend is doomed, and he deserves every lick of the sentence he gets. Having sex with a fourteen year-old is bad enough, but unprotected sex just makes him a complete dumbass who deserves jail-time.
No, he deserves to have his balls kicked up into his throat. He took shameless advantage of her and I have no mercy in my soul for a human garbage like that.

I agree, he toook advantage of her even if we don't consider the age issue and just look at her emotional state.

Exonerate · Post by **Exonerate** » 2002-11-24 08:40pm

Thanks... Right now, I've decided to wait until she gets tested. If positive, then I'll tell her to notify her parents. If she refuses, then I have no choice than to tell them... God, that fucktard boyfriend better stay away from me, because I don't think I'll be able to refrain myself from maiming him...

Durandal · Post by **Durandal** » 2002-11-24 08:58pm

If she comes out negative, tell her she dodged a bullet and that it's time to clean up her act. No more dating pedophiliac guys. Also, I'd talk to her parents regardless and tell them to put her into therapy. She's still a minor, so she has to go.

Stormbringer · Post by **Stormbringer** » 2002-11-24 09:09pm

Exonerate wrote:Thanks... Right now, I've decided to wait until she gets tested. If positive, then I'll tell her to notify her parents. If she refuses, then I have no choice than to tell them... God, that fucktard boyfriend better stay away from me, because I don't think I'll be able to refrain myself from maiming him...

One question, is he sticking around or not? Because if he's runniinng there is no reason not to maim him. If he is beat the shit out of him anyway but avoid any permanent damage.

Post by **Coyote** » 2002-11-24 09:46pm

Good luck, Exonerate. This is a tough call.

Your course of action sounds right, but be prepared that if you tell her parents she'll be angry and drop contact with you-- but that' better than her screwing up her life forever, or doing something crazy like suicide. Then you'd beat yourself up for not telling...

If the boyfriend gets beat up, jailed, or gets introduced to "Ben Dover", well, that serves him right.

Even if she gets piqued and doesn't talk to you for a long time, if ever, she'll one day be glad that you cared enough to intervene. Stay the course; I think you've chosen wisely.

David · Post by **David** » 2002-11-25 12:55am

She has had 20+ ex-BFs??

It's pretty obvious that something like this would eventually happen.

Exonerate · Post by **Exonerate** » 2002-11-25 12:59am

Well... She's pretty lacking in self-esteem. Its ironic, considering how beautiful she is... Hell, she'd give Rei a run for her money... Oh, and I can now confirm that her boyfriend is 17... Also, I've learned that her mother is being abusive (Physically and emotionally)... That limits my choices by a fair margin, and I'm considering going to the police (For child abuse and statuatory rape). I'll talk to my school counselor, and see if they can offer any advice.

Master of Ossus · Post by **Master of Ossus** » 2002-11-25 01:02am

Exonerate wrote:Thanks... Right now, I've decided to wait until she gets tested. If positive, then I'll tell her to notify her parents. If she refuses, then I have no choice than to tell them... God, that fucktard boyfriend better stay away from me, because I don't think I'll be able to refrain myself from maiming him...

Good luck with this, buddy. This is obviously a pretty dicey situation, and one that can never be totally solved by people like me, who don't know you two personally. Tell us if there's anything else we can do.

Post by **Coyote** » 2002-11-25 01:09am

While I understand your reluctance, don't completely throw away the police card just yet. It may well be your last, best bet if everything else fails. If this girl has an abusive mom, that's where her low self esteem comes from and you may need something drastic like that to break her out and get her in an alternate living arrangement. Otherwise she'll just keep going 'round and 'round.

Exonerate · Post by **Exonerate** » 2002-11-25 01:19am

Eep, sorry, I mistyped...

What I meant to say is that the police is being put into consideration... Gomen nee..

salm · Post by **salm** » 2002-11-25 12:22pm

wtf? she´s had 20 boyfriends. that sounds as if she knows what happenes when you have sex without protection. it´s partially her fault.

Stormbringer · Post by **Stormbringer** » 2002-11-25 12:33pm

salm wrote:wtf? she´s had 20 boyfriends. that sounds as if she knows what happenes when you have sex without protection. it´s partially her fault.

Maybe, but at 14 it's hard to really see the consequenses. And besides he took advantage of her shamelessly. The blame isn't solely his but I'd still blame him. (and beat the shit out of him)

salm · Post by **salm** » 2002-11-25 01:10pm

Stormbringer wrote:
salm wrote:wtf? she´s had 20 boyfriends. that sounds as if she knows what happenes when you have sex without protection. it´s partially her fault.
Maybe, but at 14 it's hard to really see the consequenses. And besides he took advantage of her shamelessly. The blame isn't solely his but I'd still blame him. (and beat the shit out of him)

how do you know that he took advantage of her shamlesly. it´s quite probable, yes, but you dont know if he really did.

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi · Post by **Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi** » 2002-11-25 05:12pm

If she's been exploited by her boyfriend and abused by her parents, I'd call the police. Then, get revenge on her boyfriend.

Durandal · Post by **Durandal** » 2002-11-25 05:55pm

salm wrote:
Stormbringer wrote:
salm wrote:wtf? she´s had 20 boyfriends. that sounds as if she knows what happenes when you have sex without protection. it´s partially her fault.
Maybe, but at 14 it's hard to really see the consequenses. And besides he took advantage of her shamelessly. The blame isn't solely his but I'd still blame him. (and beat the shit out of him)
how do you know that he took advantage of her shamlesly. it´s quite probable, yes, but you dont know if he really did.

She's fourteen, and under the law, she is does not have the capacity to make decisions about her sex life until she is 18. Anyone who nails her is considered to have taken advantage of this assumed incapacity.

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URGENT: Advice needed.

Re: URGENT: Advice needed.