Fundies, the afterlife and me

[fgalkin]

Your average Fundy is going to state your going straight to hell. Your more moderate Christian (which does represent the majority of Christians) is going to say you get judged by your actions.

The true fundie will say that there is no such thing as a moderate Christian; only a heretic.

While humping his bible, no less.

Have a very nice day.
-fgalkin

[DrkHelmet]

No I was referring to something completely different a campus fundy told me. It was his explanation for how Jesus went to hell for 3 days. He was on level 1 which is a really peachy place to stay.

Weird. That sounds suspiciously like limbo. Are you sure you can't find a source online for it?

I'll look for it later. Rushing to a raid at the moment.

[The Dark]

144,000 people? Sounds Jehovah Witness-like to me.

Nah, it's a literalistic interpretation of part of the Revelation According to John (Book of Revelation). It has 144,000 ascend directly to heaven. What the fundies hate to admit, though, is that it's 12,000 each from the 12 Tribes of Israel, suggesting that it's 144,000 Jews who get the "Go Directly To Heaven, Do Not Pass Go, Do Not Collect $200" card.

As far as the original question goes, pretty much all the fundies I know of would say you're going to hell. Narrow-minded lot they are (I know, I know...sky is blue).

[wilfulton]

As long as the place I go to doesn't have rabid fundies (or if it does, I get to throw rotten tomatoes and frozen watermelons at them), it'll be heaven for me.

[Molyneux]

Ok, I don't believe in heaven or hell (altough some people deserve eternal pain), think the bible (and other religious books for that matter) is mostly a collection of fairytales and I never go to church (yeah, like that is going ot happen on a sunday morning)

I do however live a morally good life, don't do crime, treat people the same way I like to be treated myself (isnt this what christianity originally was all about?) and use my turnsignals when leaving a roundabout. You know, the average Nice Guy.


So, in the eyes of your typical fundie, am I going to heaven or hell?

If it's hell (probably), how well would I burn on a scale from 0 - 100 with 0 a moderate christian and Hitler being 100?

To the average fundamentalist, salvation only comes through accepting Jesus as your Savior. (As they reject the concept that one can get into heaven through good works, since this would invalidate the whole Jesus Saves thing. If one could get into heaven on good works alone, then virtuous non-believers could get in, and we don't want that now, do we?) So, thusly, from the fundamentalist point of view, you're going straight to Hell when you die.

And fundamentalists don't have nearly as inventive a hell as Dante did. You just get thrown onto the lake of fire to suffer eternal torment. Thus, all sinners burn on a scale of 100.

What about the Limbo for Virtuous Pagans?

[DrkHelmet]

No I was referring to something completely different a campus fundy told me. It was his explanation for how Jesus went to hell for 3 days. He was on level 1 which is a really peachy place to stay.

Weird. That sounds suspiciously like limbo. Are you sure you can't find a source online for it?

Couldn't find that specific belief as of yet. However, a quick Google search of seven heavens and/or seven hells turns up alot of interesting sites. You can bet that someone just borrowed it as an explanation, and then it got borrowed from them, etc.

[DPDarkPrimus]

In Dante's Inferno, the first level of hell is for those who lived good lives but didn't believe, the unbaptised, etc. There was a garden there where the rightous heathens (like the Greek philosophers, the Saladin, etc) lived, and were rather well off.

Of course, Jesus DID go farther than that circle, as Virgil (Dante's guide) tells him outside the city of Dix that the last time the gates were opened were by Jesus.

[wautd]

Well, the fundies can shove it in their collective asses. I think their version of heaven will be hell for me anyway (talking about how super duper god & jezus are aint my idea of fun). At least I know a LOT of people will be joining me. A few more girls and we can have a party started.


Offcourse, if their version of heaven would be our version of hell we'd all end up in the same place anyway. With our numerical advantage we'll give 'em hell

[wolveraptor]

Does anyone ever say what the hell you're supposed to do in heaven? I can't see cool stuff in heaven, it being pure and all. So no violent video games and movies, no sexy chicks, no fucking swearing (saying stuff like "kickasss" or "badass"), no making fun of God, Jebus et al...

Wow, that sucks. Hard.

[Molyneux]

Well, the fundies can shove it in their collective asses. I think their version of heaven will be hell for me anyway (talking about how super duper god & jezus are aint my idea of fun). At least I know a LOT of people will be joining me. A few more girls and we can have a party started.


Offcourse, if their version of heaven would be our version of hell we'd all end up in the same place anyway. With our numerical advantage we'll give 'em hell

Wait, wouldn't we *take* Hell, instead of giving it to 'em?

[18-Till-I-Die]

Does anyone ever say what the hell you're supposed to do in heaven? I can't see cool stuff in heaven, it being pure and all. So no violent video games and movies, no sexy chicks, no fucking swearing (saying stuff like "kickasss" or "badass"), no making fun of God, Jebus et al...

Wow, that sucks. Hard.

Well now...understand this is just what i heard as to what it's supposed to be like, a more literal definition might exist...

Supposedly, you exist in a sort of eternal sleep and you live your dreams. You forget any pain you ever felt, and live in your most pleasent memories and dreams forever.

I dont know if that means you're aware or not, i would assume so but...personally i beleive in reincarnation, just seems more realistic than a per se actual 'afterlife'.

[wolveraptor]

Wouldn't all the former still apply as they would simply manifest in my dreams? My dreams would then be impure, which cannot exist with God, because he's a pussy.

[18-Till-I-Die]

Wouldn't all the former still apply as they would simply manifest in my dreams? My dreams would then be impure, which cannot exist with God, because he's a pussy.

I'm not a fundy so of course i dont believe in their criteria for getting into Heaven. Fundimentalists dont think anyone gets into Heaven but them anyway.

It's just something i was told, i dont know what the literal interpetation would be. Surely it'd be some kind of fundy law against me saying that even.

And like i said, i personally beleive in another kind of afterlife anyway. Course i dont know for sure, nor do i presume to, like the fundies.

[Surlethe]

Does anyone ever say what the hell you're supposed to do in heaven? I can't see cool stuff in heaven, it being pure and all. So no violent video games and movies, no sexy chicks, no fucking swearing (saying stuff like "kickasss" or "badass"), no making fun of God, Jebus et al...

Wow, that sucks. Hard.

I always thought it would be timeless, and be like the instant of orgasm, where one is at the height of pleasure, stretched forever. I base that both on my definition of ecstasy, and on the fact deeply religious people, when they're deep in prayer, trigger the orgasm center of the brain for those "unity with God" moments.

[Junghalli]

I always thought it would be timeless, and be like the instant of orgasm, where one is at the height of pleasure, stretched forever. I base that both on my definition of ecstasy, and on the fact deeply religious people, when they're deep in prayer, trigger the orgasm center of the brain for those "unity with God" moments.

BLASPHEMY!!!
You should seriously say this to the next fundie you meet. He'll have a heart attack with rage!

[Darth Servo]

144,000 people? Sounds Jehovah Witness-like to me.

Nah, it's a literalistic interpretation of part of the Revelation According to John (Book of Revelation). It has 144,000 ascend directly to heaven. What the fundies hate to admit, though, is that it's 12,000 each from the 12 Tribes of Israel, suggesting that it's 144,000 Jews who get the "Go Directly To Heaven, Do Not Pass Go, Do Not Collect $200" card.

As far as the original question goes, pretty much all the fundies I know of would say you're going to hell. Narrow-minded lot they are (I know, I know...sky is blue).

Well, there IS that bit about the "great croud before the throne of God" mentioned immediately after the 144,000. Wouldn't God's throne be in heaven?

9 After this I beheld, and, lo, a great multitude, which no man could number, of all nations, and kindreds, and people, and tongues, stood before the throne, and before the Lamb, clothed with white robes, and palms in their hands;

10 And cried with a loud voice, saying, Salvation to our God which sitteth upon the throne, and unto the Lamb.

11 And all the angels stood round about the throne, and about the elders and the four beasts, and fell before the throne on their faces, and worshipped God,

12 Saying, Amen: Blessing, and glory, and wisdom, and thanksgiving, and honour, and power, and might, be unto our God for ever and ever. Amen.

13 And one of the elders answered, saying unto me, What are these which are arrayed in white robes? and whence came they?

14 And I said unto him, Sir, thou knowest. And he said to me, These are they which came out of great tribulation, and have washed their robes, and made them white in the blood of the Lamb.

15 Therefore are they before the throne of God, and serve him day and night in his temple: and he that sitteth on the throne shall dwell among them.

16 They shall hunger no more, neither thirst any more; neither shall the sun light on them, nor any heat.

17 For the Lamb which is in the midst of the throne shall feed them, and shall lead them unto living fountains of waters: and God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes.

So 144,000 get special treatment. The rest of us meer mortals need Jesus to get there.

[Darth Servo]

Does anyone ever say what the hell you're supposed to do in heaven?

According to most fundies I've talked to, you sit around for all eternity praising God.

[Noble Ire]

Does anyone ever say what the hell you're supposed to do in heaven?

According to most fundies I've talked to, you sit around for all eternity praising God.

So......
Is there a refeshment table?

[Magnetic]

144,000 people? Sounds Jehovah Witness-like to me.

Nah, it's a literalistic interpretation of part of the Revelation According to John (Book of Revelation). It has 144,000 ascend directly to heaven. What the fundies hate to admit, though, is that it's 12,000 each from the 12 Tribes of Israel, suggesting that it's 144,000 Jews who get the "Go Directly To Heaven, Do Not Pass Go, Do Not Collect $200" card.

As far as the original question goes, pretty much all the fundies I know of would say you're going to hell. Narrow-minded lot they are (I know, I know...sky is blue).

Coming from a Fundie background and still in a Fundie church.

The 144,000 are Jews who are saved during the 7 year tribulation. The faithful Christians are raptured up to Heaven before the 7 year period begins. FYI

[Lord Woodlouse]

Well, the fundies can shove it in their collective asses. I think their version of heaven will be hell for me anyway (talking about how super duper god & jezus are aint my idea of fun). At least I know a LOT of people will be joining me. A few more girls and we can have a party started.

As immortal souls we essentially become sexless entities in death. Irrespective of how nice a guy you might or might not be.

I think a lot of Christians don't actually believe in hell as such. It's simply a state of being apart from God. How aware you are in that state, and how much interaction you might be able to facilitate with others I'm not sure. More importantly I'm not sure there's much of an official line on redemption after death. If God is as good as all that, I'd expect it to be an option.

[Molyneux]

Well, the fundies can shove it in their collective asses. I think their version of heaven will be hell for me anyway (talking about how super duper god & jezus are aint my idea of fun). At least I know a LOT of people will be joining me. A few more girls and we can have a party started.

As immortal souls we essentially become sexless entities in death. Irrespective of how nice a guy you might or might not be.

I think a lot of Christians don't actually believe in hell as such. It's simply a state of being apart from God. How aware you are in that state, and how much interaction you might be able to facilitate with others I'm not sure. More importantly I'm not sure there's much of an official line on redemption after death. If God is as good as all that, I'd expect it to be an option.

...why sexless?
Why not every conceivable sex at once?

[The Guid]

Woah... woah... woah.

To answer the origonal question, yes, according to a Fundie you are hell bound as is my friend Mehmet who prays everyday, looks after his family and is kind, considerate and devout because he's muslim.

So am I. Becuase I am the wrong Christian.

As to all this hell vs. heaven stuff. Heaven is unity with God. That is what I think heaven is. You are judged on your life and whether you have lived in such a way that you have loved God then heaven is yours. If not... I think I agree with 18tilIdie... its reincarnation. I think that planet Earth is Hell... seperation from God and the resultant ultimate loneliness and uncertainty of soul.

I am actually planning to write something - play perhaps - on what it would be like if the Fundies were right and ultimately have the play centre around Satan persuading the audience to turn away from God. Heh... I really hope they aren't right in any way or I am proper fucked.

Shit, just swore.

And again.

[Darth Servo]

Does anyone ever say what the hell you're supposed to do in heaven?

According to most fundies I've talked to, you sit around for all eternity praising God.

So......
Is there a refeshment table?

When you're with GOD, you don't NEED refreshments. Thats what hell is about--the eternal need but no supply. Just read the story of the rich man and Lazerous. (sp?)