Bloodsuckers: Sci-Fi's latest original turd

Darksider · Post by **Darksider** » 2005-08-01 02:10pm

Was anyone else on the forum unfortunate enough to see this on saturday? It's about a team of futuristic Vampire hunters that travel from planet to planet eradicating vampire infestations.

Utter crap, as most of Sci-Fi's original movies are.

gizmojumpjet · Post by **gizmojumpjet** » 2005-08-01 02:20pm

I saw the first ten minutes of it. The sexy vampiress wasn't sexy enough to justify sitting through two hours of the lameness.

It's weird, really: All of SF channel's recent original works seem like they'd be more suited to a horror channel; they pile the cheap gore effects on so thick, I'm concerned they might drive up the price of corn syrup and food coloring...

Thag · Post by **Thag** » 2005-08-01 04:37pm

Oh come on, you can't tell me you weren't rolling on the floor and laughing your ass off when the vampire slug/sock puppet started talking? That part was right out of classic MST3K.

Akaramu Shinja · Post by **Akaramu Shinja** » 2005-08-01 04:40pm

Am I a broken record by saying "And they cancelled Farscape for THIS?"?

Dragon Hunter ftw!

gizmojumpjet · Post by **gizmojumpjet** » 2005-08-01 04:54pm

Akaramu Shinja wrote:Am I a broken record by saying "And they cancelled Farscape for THIS?"?

Dragon Hunter ftw!

I hated Farscape with a burning passion, but I'd like to see it back if it would mean ridding SFC of all the gore bullshit.

Patrick Degan · Post by **Patrick Degan** » 2005-08-01 04:56pm

Akaramu Shinja wrote:Am I a broken record by saying "And they cancelled Farscape for THIS?"?

Just wait till they cancel Battlestar Galactica for even more of it along with at least two more Stargate spinoffs and a new lame-ass "reality" show like Alien House.

Crown · Post by **Crown** » 2005-08-01 05:10pm

Patrick Degan wrote:
Akaramu Shinja wrote:Am I a broken record by saying "And they cancelled Farscape for THIS?"?
Just wait till they cancel Battlestar Galactica for even more of it along with at least two more Stargate spinoffs and a new lame-ass "reality" show like Alien House.

You do realise that if the above comes to pass I'll either hail you as a prophet and build a faith around your prescience or kill you in some horrible manner for tempting fate ... probably the later.

18-Till-I-Die · Post by **18-Till-I-Die** » 2005-08-01 05:13pm

My cable was blasted out for a while there...how bad was this and what do you mean 'sock puppet'? I'm assuming this was a comedy, from the title, probably with Bruce Cambel (who will do anything for money now, a la Alien Apocalypse).

Nephtys · Post by **Nephtys** » 2005-08-01 05:14pm

Ooh! Sci-Fi's taking lessons from CSI and Law and Order.

Presenting this summer's X-TREME lineup on Sci-Fi!
At 6:00, Stargate: SG-1.
At 7:00, Stargate: Atlantis
At 8:00, Stargate: Vancouver
At 9:00, Stargate: Chulac Undercover
At 10:00, Andromeda 2: Ad nauseum.

gizmojumpjet · Post by **gizmojumpjet** » 2005-08-01 05:26pm

18-Till-I-Die wrote:My cable was blasted out for a while there...how bad was this and what do you mean 'sock puppet'? I'm assuming this was a comedy, from the title, probably with Bruce Cambel (who will do anything for money now, a la Alien Apocalypse).

It wasn't a comedy, The Chin wasn't in it, and I didn't make it to the sock puppet scene so I'm in the dark there as well. Let's put it this way: a vampire gets killed. Cut to scene of obvious bucket of blood thrown at wall. Cut to some other crap, then cut back to blood soaked wall for a moment or two, just to get the point across. I swear, there was so much fake stage blood before even the first commercial break, I thought my TV's RGB balance was off, what with all the red.

I've got nothing against violent movies, but I fail to see the entertainment value of simple gore-shots. Alien was excellent SF horror, and there's very little blood in the whole movie. The best way I can describle Bloodsuckers before the first commercial break was like Chestburster scene if Ridley Scott decided to make it ten minutes long and add 10x the blood, basically, and none of the quality acting or cinematography.

Spanky The Dolphin · Post by **Spanky The Dolphin** » 2005-08-01 05:53pm

18-Till-I-Die wrote:My cable was blasted out for a while there...how bad was this and what do you mean 'sock puppet'? I'm assuming this was a comedy, from the title, probably with Bruce Cambel (who will do anything for money now, a la Alien Apocalypse).

I think Campbell mostly did Alien Apocalypse because it was made by one or two long-time friends and associates of his.

Mr. Coffee · Post by **Mr. Coffee** » 2005-08-01 06:08pm

Nephtys wrote:Ooh! Sci-Fi's taking lessons from CSI and Law and Order.

Presenting this summer's X-TREME lineup on Sci-Fi!
At 6:00, Stargate: SG-1.
At 7:00, Stargate: Atlantis
At 8:00, Stargate: Vancouver
At 9:00, Stargate: Chulac Undercover
At 10:00, Andromeda 2: Ad nauseum.

I hear they're conspiring with Mike Judge to do "Beavis and Butthead Do Atlantis"....

Alyeska · Post by **Alyeska** » 2005-08-01 06:13pm

I have to seriously wonder what SciFi is thinking by funding this shit.

Patrick Degan · Post by **Patrick Degan** » 2005-08-01 07:12pm

Alyeska wrote:I have to seriously wonder what SciFi is thinking by funding this shit.

That it beats shelling out hard money for something good yet expensive when for the same bucks they can fill their whole schedule with five times the content, no matter how crappy it might be, because they believe their target audience will swallow anything with the "sci-fi" brand label on it.

Alyeska · Post by **Alyeska** » 2005-08-01 07:28pm

Maybe another scifi channel needs to be created to kick the crap out of SciFi and prove to them quality trumps cheapness.

Something SciFi is forgetting is all this cheap shit has absolutely no value in syndication and DVDs. It might make profits at first, but then it nets them nothing long term.

Hot Hands Harry · Post by **Hot Hands Harry** » 2005-08-01 08:02pm

I saw some of it. I was more like working on the computer and it was on the TV. I saw up to the sock puppet or was it the humans that wanted to kill humans part. I can’t remember.

Anyway was this a movie or was it a pilot and we might be seeing more of this shit.

neoolong · Post by **neoolong** » 2005-08-01 08:30pm

Are all of the movies funded by Sci-Fi? I remember they had Man-Thing but I don't think they funded that "movie."

gizmojumpjet · Post by **gizmojumpjet** » 2005-08-01 08:36pm

Hot Hands Harry wrote:I saw some of it. I was more like working on the computer and it was on the TV. I saw up to the sock puppet or was it the humans that wanted to kill humans part. I can’t remember.

Anyway was this a movie or was it a pilot and we might be seeing more of this shit.

It was a crappy one-off SciFi Original(TM).

InnocentBystander · Post by **InnocentBystander** » 2005-08-01 09:59pm

It was really quite bad, but I still watched it... heh.
I wonder where they get the money to film all their crappy movies?

Thag · Post by **Thag** » 2005-08-01 10:08pm

18-Till-I-Die wrote:My cable was blasted out for a while there...how bad was this and what do you mean 'sock puppet'? I'm assuming this was a comedy, from the title, probably with Bruce Cambel (who will do anything for money now, a la Alien Apocalypse).

At one point, they kill a vampire, only it turns out that the human was transporting what basically amounted to vampire slugs (slimey sock puppets). The undead chick in the group then begins talking in vampirese to the last slug as some kind of interrogation. It gets 'mouthy', so our hero blows its head off, and the thing starts screaming when he brings the shotgun down.

Patrick Degan · Post by **Patrick Degan** » 2005-08-01 10:14pm

Alyeska wrote:Maybe another scifi channel needs to be created to kick the crap out of SciFi and prove to them quality trumps cheapness.

Something SciFi is forgetting is all this cheap shit has absolutely no value in syndication and DVDs. It might make profits at first, but then it nets them nothing long term.

I know. That's what's going to fuck them in the end —hard.

el blanco · Post by **el blanco** » 2005-08-01 10:18pm

I don't think SciFi actually makes them. What the basic able channels actually do is buy the rights to some awful cheap B-movie that otherwise would have been a straight to video release. I think SciFi is owned by NBC (as is USA network and some other basic cable channels) so they may get a group discount on these horribly cheesy movies.

Sharpshooter · Post by **Sharpshooter** » 2005-08-01 10:20pm

This is why I so rarely watch anything outside of CNN, MSNBC, Adult Swim, and Comedy Central Presents.

I saw part of tht pathetic excuse for a vampire flick while I was attending to other business on-line, and I almost immedietly started picking out flaws and bugs that were irking me. The fake blood that was flying everywhere, the cheese and lameness of the sock-puppet parasite, the fact that everybody seemed to be using shotguns during the brief stint I watched, the cliche former-fampire-who's-now-our-ally bit, the primitive vampire group that were chucking spears laced with chemical explosives, what seemed to be the lack of a proper form of body armor., that god-awful pun ...

DPDarkPrimus · Post by **DPDarkPrimus** » 2005-08-01 11:49pm

Spanky The Dolphin wrote:
18-Till-I-Die wrote:My cable was blasted out for a while there...how bad was this and what do you mean 'sock puppet'? I'm assuming this was a comedy, from the title, probably with Bruce Cambel (who will do anything for money now, a la Alien Apocalypse).
I think Campbell mostly did Alien Apocalypse because it was made by one or two long-time friends and associates of his.

Actually, Campbell pitched the movie (along with a couple others) to Sci-Fi.

Patrick Degan · Post by **Patrick Degan** » 2005-08-02 01:04am

el blanco wrote:I don't think SciFi actually makes them. What the basic able channels actually do is buy the rights to some awful cheap B-movie that otherwise would have been a straight to video release. I think SciFi is owned by NBC (as is USA network and some other basic cable channels) so they may get a group discount on these horribly cheesy movies.

Nope —SciFi's owned by Viacom.