Newsflash: Shep is a dirty Commie!

[YT300000]

Hah, I remember the first picture I saw of Shep. It was him cuddling his dog. I think the disparity overloaded my brain.

[YT300000]

Actually, to be honest, before I always assumed Shep would be more like this:

http://img302.imageshack.us/my.php?imag ... hep7ac.jpg

[weemadando]

I remember a much older pic of Shep (a few years back) where he had no small amount of resemblance to any number of "WANTED" posters.

[Durandal]

The problem with pictures of Shep is that he looks so ... ordinary. It's better to keep our mental image of him as a raving psychotic huddled in a bunker with a cache of ammo and canned food.

Don't forget the nuclear warhead with a shrine around it and stacks of copies of 'Guns And Old Guys', the official magazine of the Republican Party.

...Damn, now I have to remember who first came up with 'Guns and Old Guys'.

Kynes, in one of the most brilliant pieces of fan fiction ever, "El Boydo: Man Without Fear". And I believe it was "Old Guys and Ammo".

In a disused little house in a disused little town there was a disused little man named Mad Man Mark. Actually, nobody called him that but himself. To his parents, schoolteachers, mailman, and "Penis Envy/Rocket Launchers" subscription handler, he was Ryan. But he identified himself, always, as Mad Man Mark.

His basement was bathed in blue light. This blue light came from many an industrious trip to K-Mart. More than once, he had woken up giggling and masturbating at how pleased he was to have taken these off of their hands. "Specials," indeed. They were his now!

As a result of his constant time in blue light, everything looked sort of reddish-pinkish. This distorted his lexicon, and his worldview, significantly, but as it turns out no one had ever guessed that this might be the reason.

The sun was rising but Mad Man Mark was already awake. Making the bed was easy. Kicking the pile of dirty laundry (not his, nor was it anyone's who knew him) over in the corner for now, he was ready for action.

First order of duty: read secret messages in Faux News.

Upside down and covered in magazines in another corner of the basement was a black-and-white TV which, for some reason, was wired for cable. He turned it over and on, tuned it to channel 34 on his UHF dial, and watched the fuzzy, rolling picture, turning the volume to maximum.

"OUR TOP STORY: FORMER PRESIDENT BILL CLINTON TAKES A CRAP. OUR FAIR AND BALANCED EXPERTS DEBATE WHETHER THE HOUSE SHOULD CONVENE A COMMITTEE OR IS THIS THE SENATE'S JOB? AS ALWAYS, BOTH SIDES OF THE ISSUE, COMING UP, BUT FIRST, A WORD FROM OUR SPONSOR..."

He leaned way over then, pressing his face directly against the glass, although, weirdly, he did not bend his knees at all. Anyone entering the basement at that point would see a skinny, very pale, Mad Man Mark, wearing nothing but tighty-whities, bent almost completely over with his face against a television. More frightening is that if they had lived with him for any length of time, this would not even faze them.

The advertisements came on, and with them, the secret messages. Mad Man Mark had his pencil (pens were for communists who didn't believe in erasing everything they wrote; why not just mail it directly to the DUMB-oment? ok, he granted, that one sucked, but give him a minute and he'll find a way to work it in... governRAT? shit) and paper ready.

"DO YOU LIKE AMMO? DO YOU LIKE OLD PEOPLE? THEN HAVE I GOT THE MAGAZINE FOR YOU..."

Furiously, Mad Man Mark began writing. He wasn't writing anything meaningful, as he couldn't read or write with any proficiency... but the motion of the pencil allowed him to delay orgasm through this commercial.

Secret messages, yeah. On Faux News. Definitely secret messages.

[Wicked Pilot]

And to think that if we listened to all those people who wanted The Shep banned we couldn't have the fun we're having now.

[The Yosemite Bear]

Yo pro asshole #2, (that would be Durandal, Shithias, being pro-asshole #1), I already answered that short and sweetly with out all the dredging and mud slinging.

but then again it wouldn't have been one of your posts without that pro-asshole quality.

[Durandal]

Yo pro asshole #2, (that would be Durandal, Shithias, being pro-asshole #1), I already answered that short and sweetly with out all the dredging and mud slinging.

but then again it wouldn't have been one of your posts without that pro-asshole quality.

Calm the fuck down. The last time I talked to him about it, Shep told me he liked El Boydo. He may be incapable of many things, but enjoying a joke at his own expense isn't one of them.

[SirNitram]

Yo pro asshole #2, (that would be Durandal, Shithias, being pro-asshole #1), I already answered that short and sweetly with out all the dredging and mud slinging.

but then again it wouldn't have been one of your posts without that pro-asshole quality.

Only commie-mutant-traitors don't like EL BOYDO, THE MAN WITHOUT FEAR!.

Are you a Commie-Mutant-Traitor, Citizen?

[The Yosemite Bear]

Well technically Durandal got it wrong on the time line too.

because Guns and Old guys didn't appear in El Boydo

It appeared first during Shep's Final Solution Trial, after his attack on Chuck's kids.

[Spyder]

I just had the weirdest thought...