New idea for a Trek show: Drying Paint Trek

SWvST: the subject of the main site.

Moderator: Vympel

Post Reply
User avatar
Patrick Degan
Emperor's Hand
Posts: 14847
Joined: 2002-07-15 08:06am
Location: Orleanian in exile

New idea for a Trek show: Drying Paint Trek

Post by Patrick Degan »

Paramount should really give up on Boobyprise and make a new show called Drying Paint Trek Basically, the show would center around starships in the fleet yards being painted by the dockworkers and the paint itself drying on the hulls, bulkheads, and overheads aboard each ship.

The new show would immediately have several advantages over the current production and its immediate predecessors:
  • The paint would easily outact the cast of the current show —with the possible exception of the dog, of course.
  • The paint would prove most colourful, unlike the current cast of Boobyprise or the cast of TNG, for that matter.
  • The paint would fit into any plot devised by the writers.
  • The process of the paint's application, curing, and drying, would provide a far more valuable and realistic science lesson for the viewers than any technobabble exposition heard in the last twelve years. Of course, there is always the possibility of the writers inventing special technobabble paints which can perform functions undreamed of.
  • As the series progresses, different themes can be introduced by focussing upon different types of painting. For example: grafitti vandals could deface Starfleet property, and the grafitti could convey ideas to the audience while sparing their ears from the pompous moral speeches of Picard, Sisko, or Janeway. Taking this concept in another direction, there could be episodes featuring an artist painting a canvas, exploring the meaning of the painting as each brushstroke is applied and the work is built up in layers and is left to dry —thus injecting cultural values and beauty into storylines.
  • Foreign intrigue could be introduced by having plotlines centering upon a revived Dominion attempting a new campaign against the Alpha Quadrant: changeling infiltrators disguise themselves as paint and allow themselves to be spread on walls and bulkheads of Starfleet vessels and space stations so that they can spy on Federation officers and learn every secret of the UFP as they dry.
Of course, all the audience would really be doing is spending an hour watching paint dry. But then, that is not very much different from sitting through a typical episode of Boobyprise, so the viewing experience would be more or less the same.
User avatar
Vympel
Spetsnaz
Spetsnaz
Posts: 29312
Joined: 2002-07-19 01:08am
Location: Sydney Australia

Post by Vympel »

:twisted:

I can't stop laughing on these forums- not with scathing testimonials as to the sorry state trek is in like this floating around.
Like Legend of Galactic Heroes? Please contribute to http://gineipaedia.com/
User avatar
Spanky The Dolphin
Mammy Two-Shoes
Posts: 30776
Joined: 2002-07-05 05:45pm
Location: Reykjavík, Iceland (not really)

Post by Spanky The Dolphin »

Maybe they should have a series that is just a ship flying around for 45 minutes...
Image
I believe in a sign of Zeta.

[BOTM|WG|JL|Mecha Maniacs|Pax Cybertronia|Veteran of the Psychic Wars|Eva Expert]

"And besides, who cares if a monster destroys Australia?"
bozman
Village Idiot
Posts: 59
Joined: 2002-11-03 01:27am
Location: bozzanova55@hotmail.com

Post by bozman »

If the ship is just going to fly around for 45 minutes, I want it to be to the theme for TOS. The song can just play over and over while the ship flies. The camera can get different angled shots while it goes by nebulae, etc. Or, my personal favorite, the camera angle that only shows a frame of space while, suddenly, the ship goes flying by from right to left while the camera angle never moves. :P The theme music never stops, of course.
User avatar
Vympel
Spetsnaz
Spetsnaz
Posts: 29312
Joined: 2002-07-19 01:08am
Location: Sydney Australia

Post by Vympel »

WooooooooooAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHwoowoowoooAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I don't like the TOS theme.
Like Legend of Galactic Heroes? Please contribute to http://gineipaedia.com/
User avatar
Cpt_Frank
Official SD.Net Evil Warsie Asshole
Posts: 3652
Joined: 2002-07-03 03:05am
Location: the black void
Contact:

Post by Cpt_Frank »

The best theme is the TOS movie theme.
Image
Supermod
User avatar
Vympel
Spetsnaz
Spetsnaz
Posts: 29312
Joined: 2002-07-19 01:08am
Location: Sydney Australia

Post by Vympel »

Cpt_Frank wrote:The best theme is the TOS movie theme.
From the Motion Picture? I like it a lot. Can't decide though the WOK theme is pretty funky.
Like Legend of Galactic Heroes? Please contribute to http://gineipaedia.com/
User avatar
neoolong
Dead Sexy 'Shroom
Posts: 13180
Joined: 2002-08-29 10:01pm
Location: California

Post by neoolong »

Damn. It's sad when watching paint dry is much better than anything Trek puts out.
Member of the BotM. @( !.! )@
User avatar
Evil Sadistic Bastard
Hentai Tentacle Demon
Posts: 4229
Joined: 2002-07-17 02:34am
Location: FREE
Contact:

Post by Evil Sadistic Bastard »

Not to mention the paint is better armor than anything StarFleet can put out.
Believe in the sign of Hentai.

BotM - Hentai Tentacle Monkey/Warwolves - Evil-minded Medic/JL - Medical Jounin/Mecha Maniacs - Fuchikoma Grope Attack!/AYVB - Bloody Bastards.../GALE Force - Purveyor of Anal Justice/HAB - Combat Medical Orderly

Combat Medical Orderly(Also Nameless Test-tube Washer) : SD.Net Dept. of Biological Sciences
Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi
What Kind of Username is That?
Posts: 9254
Joined: 2002-07-10 08:53pm
Location: Back in PA

Post by Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi »

I'm sure that would be far less confusing, and far more entertaining than Enterprise. Also, without all the technobabble technology, there won't be rabid Trekkies bringing them up.
BotM: Just another monkey|HAB
User avatar
Darth Balls
Padawan Learner
Posts: 294
Joined: 2002-11-01 02:06pm

Post by Darth Balls »

Hey! They could even put a movie out and have it be the most daring and unpredictable trek movie in years! They would call it:

STAR TREK: Watching the Grass Grow

WHAT WILL THE GRASS DO NEXT!?! OH MY GOD! Watch out borg....here comes the grass!
consequences
Homicidal Maniac
Posts: 6964
Joined: 2002-07-07 03:06pm

Post by consequences »

Star Trek: Meh
Image
User avatar
kojikun
BANNED
Posts: 9663
Joined: 2002-07-04 12:23am
Contact:

Post by kojikun »

Sadly, I find this concept for a series to be most intriguing. To be honest, it has real potential. No bullshit.
Sì! Abbiamo un' anima! Ma è fatta di tanti piccoli robot.
User avatar
Sea Skimmer
Yankee Capitalist Air Pirate
Posts: 37390
Joined: 2002-07-03 11:49pm
Location: Passchendaele City, HAB

Post by Sea Skimmer »

How about the ship flying around to help dry the paint?
"This cult of special forces is as sensible as to form a Royal Corps of Tree Climbers and say that no soldier who does not wear its green hat with a bunch of oak leaves stuck in it should be expected to climb a tree"
— Field Marshal William Slim 1956
User avatar
Jawawithagun
Jedi Master
Posts: 1141
Joined: 2002-10-10 07:05pm
Location: Terra Secunda

Post by Jawawithagun »

Imagine the possibilities! You could have spin-offs... ST: Drying Paint On A Space Station In Orbit Around A Backwater Planet Noone Remotely Sane Would Care About, or ST: Paint Drying At Starfleet Academy, or ST: Klingon Paint Drying ... and the Merchandise ... books - Painting The Klingon Way and How To Paint Your Starship ...
User avatar
Captain Cyran
Psycho Mini-lop
Posts: 7037
Joined: 2002-07-05 11:00pm
Location: College... w00t?

Post by Captain Cyran »

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi wrote:I'm sure that would be far less confusing, and far more entertaining than Enterprise. Also, without all the technobabble technology, there won't be rabid Trekkies bringing them up.
A dream that will never be, we all know that rabid trekkies would come running in yelling about the superiority of Federation paint to Star Wars paint.
Justice League, Super-Villain Carnage "Carnage Rules!" Cult of the Kitten Mew... The Black Mage with The Knife SD.Net Chronicler of the Past Bun Bun is my hero. The Official Verilonitis Vaccinator
User avatar
Raxmei
Rabid Monkey
Posts: 2846
Joined: 2002-07-28 04:34pm
Location: Davis, CA
Contact:

Post by Raxmei »

Jawawithagun wrote:...Paint Your Starship ...

Would that one be a musical?
I prepared Explosive Runes today.
User avatar
Raxmei
Rabid Monkey
Posts: 2846
Joined: 2002-07-28 04:34pm
Location: Davis, CA
Contact:

Post by Raxmei »

Captain_Cyran wrote:
Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi wrote:I'm sure that would be far less confusing, and far more entertaining than Enterprise. Also, without all the technobabble technology, there won't be rabid Trekkies bringing them up.
A dream that will never be, we all know that rabid trekkies would come running in yelling about the superiority of Federation paint to Star Wars paint.
I wonder which universe's paint is more scratch-resistant.
I prepared Explosive Runes today.
User avatar
Stormbringer
King of Democracy
Posts: 22678
Joined: 2002-07-15 11:22pm

Post by Stormbringer »

Raxmei wrote:
Captain_Cyran wrote:
Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi wrote:I'm sure that would be far less confusing, and far more entertaining than Enterprise. Also, without all the technobabble technology, there won't be rabid Trekkies bringing them up.
A dream that will never be, we all know that rabid trekkies would come running in yelling about the superiority of Federation paint to Star Wars paint.
I wonder which universe's paint is more scratch-resistant.
Too bad we don't see the two ISD's that collided. Due a comparision with the Feddie vessels that have had similar incidents....... Oh wait, those all blow up!
Image
User avatar
Raxmei
Rabid Monkey
Posts: 2846
Joined: 2002-07-28 04:34pm
Location: Davis, CA
Contact:

Post by Raxmei »

Stormbringer wrote:
Too bad we don't see the two ISD's that collided. Due a comparision with the Feddie vessels that have had similar incidents....... Oh wait, those all blow up!
Yes, but was the paint scratched before or after the ship exploded?
I prepared Explosive Runes today.
User avatar
Darth Yoshi
Metroid
Posts: 7342
Joined: 2002-07-04 10:00pm
Location: Seattle
Contact:

Post by Darth Yoshi »

Sea Skimmer wrote:How about the ship flying around to help dry the paint?
That won't work. Space is vacuum. The paint'll dry in an instant (or more accurately, freeze).
Image
Fragment of the Lord of Nightmares, release thy heavenly retribution. Blade of cold, black nothingness: become my power, become my body. Together, let us walk the path of destruction and smash even the souls of the Gods! RAGNA BLADE!
Lore Monkey | the Pichu-master™
Secularism—since AD 80
Av: Elika; Prince of Persia
User avatar
Vertigo1
Defender of the Night
Posts: 4720
Joined: 2002-08-12 12:47am
Location: Tennessee, USA
Contact:

Post by Vertigo1 »

Darth Yoshi wrote:
Sea Skimmer wrote:How about the ship flying around to help dry the paint?
That won't work. Space is vacuum. The paint'll dry in an instant (or more accurately, freeze).
Since when has trek ever obeyed the laws of physics? ;)

speaking of paint....anyone ever watch Shatner's "Splaat Attack" thing?
"I once asked Rebecca to sing Happy Birthday to me during sex. That was funny, especially since I timed my thrusts to sync up with the words. And yes, it was my birthday." - Darth Wong

Leader of the SD.Net Gargoyle Clan | Spacebattles Firstone | Twitter
Post Reply