The new world

[HemlockGrey]

Maybe this dude is just fucking with us.

[DoctorPhanan]

^^ Thats what I thought too....

But for 15... well now 16, pages? maybe he has the stamina of a madman.

[Darth Wong]

If you guys are getting sick of him, feel free to start a ban poll. Just don't start multiple ban polls. First man to post the poll wins.

[Mr. Coffee]

If I may...

Snipy McSnippits

Damnit, Surlethe, give a brother a warning before you do that... Coffee burns when it comes out of your nose, man.

[Surlethe]

^^ Thats what I thought too....

But for 15... well now 16, pages? maybe he has the stamina of a madman.

Remember, most of the sixteen pages is us jumping all over him and mocking him. He's only got -- what, 15 posts? If one is enough of a retard, then he can generate a huge fucking shitstorm here without too much effort.

That said, I think the court documents demonstrate we are dealing with a sad, pathetic, and possibly mentally unstable old man.

Damnit, Surlethe, give a brother a warning before you do that... Coffee burns when it comes out of your nose, man.

Your entertainment is my pleasure, Mr. Coffee; my pleasure.

[Jake99]

This mentally stable and extremely gifted man according to mental health professionals and businesses and athletic records has won almost every competition he has ever entered. I am a 50 yr old that is the one to watch on a snoboard and the one with the big tennis game. Football, baseball, golf, tennis, volleyball, karate and you name it someone in my family has a trophy for the sport or is terrific at it. We are not average people we are extremely capable, beyond what you see on television in every way. Even if you think that I am nuts as many though Jesus was. the miracles I performed at the bakery were things no man could have achieved. You don't look at things the way I do and so you do not lead as I do. At 43 when in jail for 2 weeks, I dominated in football as the QB, slaughtered the chess champ and won 90% of the basketball shooting contests. And I did several extremely long hand stands just for kicks. My 3 sisters are some of the most succesful women in the world. And my brothers are the best athletes and musicians you have ever seen. I would find it highly unlikely that you can find a smarter man than my father. My mother looks like princess Grace of Monaco and my 3 sisters in thier 40's might win the Ms America contest. Call me a quack all you want but I know where the winners circle is even when I stand against all of you.

Surlethe

Is right about one thing its your leadership and systems that are incompetant which is what I have been saying since I was 12. My competency goes way beyond anyones that has ever walked this earth and that is proven by the results of my leadership not the court cases that came before and after what I did. I stepped forward with the bow to reveal who I was in the best way possible and you saw nothing even though it happened at the millenium. If you are waiting for someone to lead you in the same direction to find peace, it cannot be done.

[dworkin]

Wow. Stewie can take over other peoples minds from a distance.

Jake's now a sports superstar all-rounder from a family of supermodels.
This must be why everyone has heard of him before. Oh, wait we havn't.

[Dakarne]

This mentally stable and extremely gifted man according to mental health professionals and businesses and athletic records has won almost every competition he has ever entered.

Yep... I believe you

I am a 50 yr old that is the one to watch on a snoboard and the one with the big tennis game. Football, baseball, golf, tennis, volleyball, karate and you name it someone in my family has a trophy for the sport or is terrific at it. We are not average people we are extremely capable, beyond what you see on television in every way.

Seriously, how deluded can you get

I mean, I won't lie, I suck at sports, I know next to nothing about science, I'm incapable of doing any sort of physical activity well... and I'm only 17...

Even if you think that I am nuts as many though Jesus was. the miracles I performed at the bakery were things no man could have achieved. You don't look at things the way I do and so you do not lead as I do. At 43 when in jail for 2 weeks, I dominated in football as the QB, slaughtered the chess champ and won 90% of the basketball shooting contests.

What have you been smoking boy?

My 3 sisters are some of the most succesful women in the world. And my brothers are the best athletes and musicians you have ever seen.

Well.. considering that there isn't a group of really famous people all with the SAME LAST NAME, you fit the title quite well

I would find it highly unlikely that you can find a smarter man than my father. My mother looks like princess Grace of Monaco and my 3 sisters in thier 40's might win the Ms America contest. Call me a quack all you want but I know where the winners circle is even when I stand against all of you.

In which way was your father smart? Did he render himself infertile after giving birth to you.

My competency goes way beyond anyones that has ever walked this earth and that is proven by the results of my leadership not the court cases that came before and after what I did.

..... (Famous words, which just fit the situation)

Now, with my final words to you, Jake...

Get some bloody mental help...

Side Note: This thread is very, very funny.

[Pcm979]

*Snip

Yes, yes, we know your father invented television and your mother was the first woman to walk on the moon and you can rip a tank apart with your bare hands. Unfortunately, even if it were true, it isn't important re; You being the Twinkie Messiah.

My competency goes way beyond anyones that has ever walked this earth and that is proven by the results of my leadership not the court cases that came before and after what I did.

So, you admit that the court cases *don't* prove you're the Messiah? Concession accepted.

I stepped forward with the bow to reveal who I was in the best way possible and you saw nothing even though it happened at the millenium.

You aimed a bow at a courthouse to prove you were a Messiah, and nothing happened? I'm shocked man.

If you are waiting for someone to lead you in the same direction to find peace, it cannot be done.

I agree. Following your instructions definately won't bring peace.

[Ghost Rider]

This mentally stable and extremely gifted man according to mental health professionals and businesses and athletic records has won almost every competition he has ever entered.

Strange you don't these things professionally and earn the adulation of people and make yourself beyond a 50 year old yaboo who got off on a technicallity.

I am a 50 yr old that is the one to watch on a snoboard and the one with the big tennis game. Football, baseball, golf, tennis, volleyball, karate and you name it someone in my family has a trophy for the sport or is terrific at it.

I will go out on a limb and say "snoboard" is likely SNOWBOARD, but with the messiah we may never know, perhaps this is a messiah only sport?

And as an aside I'm sure Agassi is trembling at the mere mention of your name.

As for your last, good that your family performed well at little league.

We are not average people

If you are an example, very true. You fall far under the average

we are extremely capable, beyond what you see on television in every way.

I'm sure your stupidity and that of your family astounds even those on "Believe or Not!" stories.

Even if you think that I am nuts as many though Jesus was. the miracles I performed at the bakery were things no man could have achieved.

Given your general stupidity, you once again speak the truth. Why you consider this a good event is unknown.

You don't look at things the way I do and so you do not lead as I do.

Quite so, I use logic and intelligence instead of blithering and stupidity.

At 43 when in jail for 2 weeks, I dominated in football as the QB, slaughtered the chess champ and won 90% of the basketball shooting contests.

Because those within a jail are the paragons of society.

And I did several extremely long hand stands just for kicks.

Pointless digression

My 3 sisters are some of the most succesful women in the world. And my brothers are the best athletes and musicians you have ever seen. I would find it highly unlikely that you can find a smarter man than my father. My mother looks like princess Grace of Monaco and my 3 sisters in thier 40's might win the Ms America contest. Call me a quack all you want but I know where the winners circle is even when I stand against all of you.

Ah delusions of the madman and the need to bolster one's lacking ego. Perhaps defeating those armored men with your bare fists were not enough to demonstrate your tenous lack on reality.

[Lord Zentei]

This mentally stable and extremely gifted man according to mental health professionals and businesses and athletic records has won almost every competition he has ever entered. I am a 50 yr old that is the one to watch on a snoboard and the one with the big tennis game. Football, baseball, golf, tennis, volleyball, karate and you name it someone in my family has a trophy for the sport or is terrific at it. We are not average people we are extremely capable, beyond what you see on television in every way. Even if you think that I am nuts as many though Jesus was. the miracles I performed at the bakery were things no man could have achieved. You don't look at things the way I do and so you do not lead as I do. At 43 when in jail for 2 weeks, I dominated in football as the QB, slaughtered the chess champ and won 90% of the basketball shooting contests. And I did several extremely long hand stands just for kicks. My 3 sisters are some of the most succesful women in the world. And my brothers are the best athletes and musicians you have ever seen. I would find it highly unlikely that you can find a smarter man than my father. My mother looks like princess Grace of Monaco and my 3 sisters in thier 40's might win the Ms America contest. Call me a quack all you want but I know where the winners circle is even when I stand against all of you.

Well, golly gosh. Let's see some of these awards. Do you have pictures of them? Do you have names of your family members that excelled at these sports so we can check them against the annals of sports history? Let's have photographs of these comely people. Let's see the evidence, Skippy.

Surlethe

Is right about one thing its your leadership and systems that are incompetant which is what I have been saying since I was 12. My competency goes way beyond anyones that has ever walked this earth and that is proven by the results of my leadership not the court cases that came before and after what I did. I stepped forward with the bow to reveal who I was in the best way possible and you saw nothing even though it happened at the millenium. If you are waiting for someone to lead you in the same direction to find peace, it cannot be done.

Ah, yes of course. You are the most competent fellow in the history of the world. Silly me for not noticing.

[Darth Wong]

And despite all of that incredible power and godlike intelligence, he can't figure out how to scan a document. Or compose a post without numerous spelling, punctuation, and grammar errors

[Flagg]

And despite all of that incredible power and godlike intelligence, he can't figure out how to scan a document. Or compose a post without numerous spelling, punctuation, and grammar errors

Of course not, after all, he's too busy killing Indians in floods, blowing up aircraft with lightning bolts, and talking to Jerry Falwell.

[Surlethe]

This mentally stable and extremely gifted man according to mental health professionals and businesses and athletic records has won almost every competition he has ever entered. I am a 50 yr old that is the one to watch on a snoboard and the one with the big tennis game. Football, baseball, golf, tennis, volleyball, karate and you name it someone in my family has a trophy for the sport or is terrific at it. We are not average people we are extremely capable, beyond what you see on television in every way. Even if you think that I am nuts as many though Jesus was. the miracles I performed at the bakery were things no man could have achieved. You don't look at things the way I do and so you do not lead as I do. At 43 when in jail for 2 weeks, I dominated in football as the QB, slaughtered the chess champ and won 90% of the basketball shooting contests. And I did several extremely long hand stands just for kicks. My 3 sisters are some of the most succesful women in the world. And my brothers are the best athletes and musicians you have ever seen. I would find it highly unlikely that you can find a smarter man than my father. My mother looks like princess Grace of Monaco and my 3 sisters in thier 40's might win the Ms America contest. Call me a quack all you want but I know where the winners circle is even when I stand against all of you.

Translation: ":wanker: , : !!"

You're getting stale. This is not amusing anymore. Yet more unsubstantiated claims. Your English, furthermore, leaves much to be desired: messiah, my ass.

Surlethe

Is right about one thing its your leadership and systems that are incompetant which is what I have been saying since I was 12. My competency goes way beyond anyones that has ever walked this earth and that is proven by the results of my leadership not the court cases that came before and after what I did. I stepped forward with the bow to reveal who I was in the best way possible and you saw nothing even though it happened at the millenium. If you are waiting for someone to lead you in the same direction to find peace, it cannot be done.

You're a fucking liar, asshole. Nowhere did I say the current economic system is incompetent, you illiterate inbred pondscumfucker. Go fuck yourself nice and hard with a fucking I-beam.

[Pcm979]

I believe he was talking about your 'traffic jams' thing, Surlethe. Utterly missing the point, as usual.

[Surlethe]

I believe he was talking about your 'traffic jams' thing, Surlethe. Utterly missing the point, as usual.

Well, he identified quite clearly what he was going on about.



Now that I think about this, I don't believe the Horsemen have shown up yet. Don't they usually turn out to mock the worst trolls before the bannination?

Therefore, I humbly submit to the almighty Horsemen of the Apocalypse the following tribute:

This mentally unstable and extremely gifted -- at blowjobs, that is -- man has, according to mental health professionals and businesses and athletic records, accumulated such an amazing record of sexual prowess, he has won almost every competition he has ever entered, due to "corrupt" officials. I, Jake666, am the antichrist, masquerading as a 50 yr old that is the one to watch on a snoboard -- you've never heard of a snoboard? perhaps you should try it out with your significant other sometime -- and the one with the big tennis game, if you know what I mean . Football, baseball, golf, tennis, volleyball, karate, bukkake, gangbangs, and, of course, blowjobs: you name it, and someone in my family has done it to me. Did I mention I come from Alabama? Furthermore, any one of us has more than a trophy for the little league versions of the sport or is terrific at sucking off its referees and other officials. We are not average people we are extremely sexually capable, beyond what you see on television in every way: those porn stars have nothing on us. Even if you think that I am licking nuts as many though Jesus was, I really am not such a bad guy. Honestly, as the antichrist, I've had a tough life: the miracles I performed at the bakery were things no man could have achieved without satanic sexual powers. You don't look at things the way I do: the way to world peace is through embracing my super antichrist powers, and once everybody has done so, all youcapitalist pigs will be slaughtered in the Communist Jihad! A mere mortal does not lead as I do. At 43 when in jail for 2 weeks, I dominated in "football", if you know what I mean, as the "QB", slaughtered the chess champ, who had a USCF rating of 352, and won 90% of the basketball shooting contests, and, of course, gave such amazing rimjobs, I was let out a week early; furthermore, I brought about an era of peace in the jail such as none had ever known by letting the other prisoners take their aggression out on my ass. And I did several extremely long handjobs: you wouldn't believe the stamina of some of those prisoners! I also did some standups just for kicks. My 3 sisters are some of the most succesful women in the world. And my brothers are the best athletes and musicians you have ever seen; naturally, you know how they got that way: my mother's XXXtreme training. I would find it highly unlikely that you can find a smarter man than my father's dog. My father, on the other hand, is just as intelligent as I am. My mother looks like princess Grace of Monaco, so you certainly can't fault me for finding her attractive. She is, after all, a porn star; and my 3 sisters in thier 40's follow in her steps, enough that they might win the Ms America contest. Call me a quacking duck all you want but I know where the winners circle is even when I stand against all of you, and it's down the judge's pants.

Surlethe and Lord Zentei, my saviors,

I submit my life to you. Please forgive me my sins of incompetence. You are always right about one thing: it's your leadership which is fucked up, not capitalism. My mind and systems, come to think of that now, are incompetant which is what I and my teachers and doctors have been saying since I was 12. My incompetency goes way beyond anyones that has ever walked this earth and that is proven by the fact that, after thousands of blowjobs, I, the antichtrist, work in a twinkie factory. The results of my leadership are not the court cases that came before and after what I did; when I did it, and how I did it, I leave up to the regulation investigating a certain judge's sexual adventures... I stepped forward with the blowjob to reveal who I was in the best way possible and you saw nothing even though it happened at the millenium, in the parlour, with the snoboard. If you are waiting for someone to lead you in the same direction to find peace, it cannot be done, because if it were possible, I and my blowjobs would be there before you. Sincerely, the Antichrist.

[Lord Zentei]

You're matching the pros, Surlethe.

[Dakarne]

Surlethe, That was just way too funny...

It actually made more sense when you added that...

And you didn't even delete anything either

[Jake99]

I can see that you like the direction that leads you so hang in there I have better things to do than be insulted. And go to Messiah.org for a more professionally written opinion of your systems and leadership. I am the star you wish to destroy, but you cannot. Trekies your all the same. Jake99@hotmail.com

[Elheru Aran]

Interesting, really, isn't it, that said 'Messiah' never identifies himself by name...

In other words, you're a fucking moron. Fuck off and die already.

[DPDarkPrimus]

I can see that you like the direction that leads you so hang in there I have better things to do than be insulted.

Such as taking some more LSD and hallucinating about all these supposed accomplishments?

And go to Messiah.org for a more professionally written opinion of your systems and leadership.

What's wrong? Can't the Messiah speak for himself?

I am the star you wish to destroy, but you cannot.

You're destroying yourself well enough without our assistance. All we want is for you to quantify your claims, and you're ranting like a madman, which frankly, you most likely are.

Trekies your all the same.

First of all, it's "Trekkies" with two K's.

Secondly, few of us, much less all of us, are Trekkies. In case you hadn't noticed the website's URL, site content, and banner, this is a STAR WARS site, with other good stuff on the side.

Jake99@hotmail.com

Yes yes, we already know your email, O King of the Jews. When will we see the proof of your family's accomplishments? And by the way, they all seem to be a lot more successful than you, Mr. Middle Manager of Wonderbread Factory #1875D before you got fired.

[Pick]

Just as long as you don't try to smite us down with your fish, maybe we'll survive.

But in the spirit of things,

[Solauren]

Hey, Jake99, we are not Trekkies, were Warsies

And we can two blow up stars, we have the Sun Crusher

Something MUCH more realistic then you being the Messiash, you senile, mentally deficient old bastard

[Erik von Nein]

Just as long as you don't try to smite us down with your fish, maybe we'll survive.

But in the spirit of things,

*snip image*

That roffles my waffles.

I think Jakie Poo needs a time out. He's got a few Twinkies short of a heart attack.

[Zero]

Strange... will we still ban the stupid fuck, now that he's gone?