BLOODY SQUIRRELS!

Post by **Mr Bean** » 2002-11-27 02:51pm

Just came back from the part and what do I see? Little squirrel darting across the Road

HORRORS! Quick yank the wheels to the right! Should miss him! Wait whats that? ARGH! DITCH!

With that I hit said ditch(But sparing the squirrel's life) and found that the charming home owner whos ditch I hit had filled it with.. of all things 10-20 Pound Limestone and other quarrey rocks! Just wonderful(Bloody Squirrel, should hunt him down and take back what I gave him, that or get the $3000 it might cost me in repairs.. hey who knows might have the money)

Meanwhile I managed to scrap all the rocks out from under my oil pan and gas tank(To make sure I would not rip holes in either when I rocked the thing out, keep in mind all of these are OVER ten pounds, these are rocks the size of my head on the SMALL end, some are leg size or at least long)

Anyway ripped all those out, bloody winter, at least I had my hunting jacket ready so at least the Wind and cold did not bother me though I did not have gloves on so I ripped my hands up somthing good

Well anyway where was I?

Oh yes we are coming to the Irony, after I got it out not one not two but around EIGHT women who either where former cheerleeders or aspired to be models judging by the hairstyles and clothing of each and I almost wished my car was a bit more messed up to get a ride from one of said women

Well got the car rocked out(Fun thing to do when hanging at a 48 Degree Angle(I know cause I have a tiny protrator on my keyring I got from a math teacher after three months of never reambering to bring one back during highschool

Anyway got the car out, did NOT extract bloody vengance on squirrel kind and the car is abit banged up but luckly nothing permant(Aside from some intresting patterns on the front axel but hey...)

Well I'm off agian, Consdering the day I'm going to pick another Ditch and see if my new tecnique of broken car in cold works(And yes those who want to know I DID get three stuble come ons and four phone numbers)

Post by **Sea Skimmer** » 2002-11-27 02:58pm

And so Skimmer said, "let there be cow catchers on all cars"

irishmick79 · Post by **irishmick79** » 2002-11-27 03:00pm

Ouch. I hope you didn't get hurt.

Post by **Mr Bean** » 2002-11-27 03:10pm

Ouch. I hope you didn't get hurt.

You obviously did not read my post if you wrote that

Now then numbers I got one was wrong(Big surpised) Two however are Cell's and the other is a home number... intresting

Larz · Post by **Larz** » 2002-11-27 03:14pm

If I didn't care so much for my far or thought that I would rip my oil pan a new one, I would try that... but all small woodland creatures tend to be rather annoying. At night time when I drive home I tend to see squirrels or rabits or cats hanging around in the bushes off the side of the road. Occasionally one will make a daring run across the road, or at very least half way in the road, stop, look at me, and dart back to were it came from. Monday evening when driving to the airport a rabit jumped out of my way, turned around, jumped back into my way, and finally jumped out of my way as I nearly swerved into a ditch to his it...

But anyway, good show Bean.

C.S.Strowbridge · Post by **C.S.Strowbridge** » 2002-11-27 03:15pm

The squirrels do it on purpose. They take their commands from the ducks. Beware the ducks.

Newtonian Fury · Post by **Newtonian Fury** » 2002-11-27 03:23pm

Just ignore the squirrels next time. I never mind the squirrels when I drive.

irishmick79 · Post by **irishmick79** » 2002-11-27 03:26pm

I read your post jackass. You didn't really say if you got dinged up or not. I guess you must be fine, then. 'scuse me for trying to be nice.

Newtonian Fury · Post by **Newtonian Fury** » 2002-11-27 03:29pm

Having ridden with a friend who had an accident avoiding the squirrels, I came to the conclusion that it wasn't worth property damage and possible human injury trying to swerve around squirrels.

Post by **Mr Bean** » 2002-11-27 03:34pm

I read your post jackass. You didn't really say if you got dinged up or not. I guess you must be fine, then. 'scuse me for trying to be nice.

Awww you warm my heart

Not I was definate mentioned the only injury(My hands) and your anger is not nessary nor warrented

And Fury belive me after the fact I would have swore bloody vengance and next time accerlate instead of dodging but I know I won't be doing it next time I see a squirrel

I'll just have to buy a Tank

Ted · Post by **Ted** » 2002-11-27 03:36pm

Squishy squishy

irishmick79 · Post by **irishmick79** » 2002-11-27 03:38pm

I read your response as a subtle implication that I was an idiot for posting what I said. Sorry if I misunderstood.

Good luck with the chicks' numbers though.

Post by **Mr Bean** » 2002-11-27 04:33pm

Good luck with the chicks' numbers though.

I don't need luck! I've got Irony!
/Ego

Seriously how many people expect to pick up women after a car accident?

aerius · Post by **aerius** » 2002-11-27 04:36pm

I just run over the damn things and figure that I'm just doing my part in helping Darwin along. After all, if a squirrel is dumb enough to run across the road, stop, run partway back, stop, and then run back across, it must have some defective genes and deserves to get killed. My squirrel count in in double digits, including a couple that I killed while riding my bike.

irishmick79 · Post by **irishmick79** » 2002-11-27 04:53pm

Well, people DO slow down and gawk at car accidents. The audience is there...although I suppose I would be too dazed by an accident to think about taking advantage of the opportunity.

Hyperion · Post by **Hyperion** » 2002-11-27 04:59pm

i'll hit squirrels, but i prefer not smacking things like possums... almost whacked 5 in less than 2 minutes while being chased at 80mph by some fuckwad in a CRX at like 11pm a while back..

Post by **Sea Skimmer** » 2002-11-27 05:04pm

aerius wrote:I just run over the damn things and figure that I'm just doing my part in helping Darwin along. After all, if a squirrel is dumb enough to run across the road, stop, run partway back, stop, and then run back across, it must have some defective genes and deserves to get killed. My squirrel count in in double digits, including a couple that I killed while riding my bike.

Agreed, and if it still manages to avoid being hit then that’s what the twelve gauge on the passengers side is for.

I ride heavily but I dont think I've ever hit a squirrel. The one in my area seem smart enough to avoid somthing about 40mm wide.

EmperorMing · Post by **EmperorMing** » 2002-11-27 05:15pm

I managed to nail a bird of all things one time

...

Still waiting to add a squirrel to my roadkill cafe menu...

Ted · Post by **Ted** » 2002-11-27 05:18pm

EmperorMing wrote:I managed to nail a bird of all things one time ...

Still waiting to add a squirrel to my roadkill cafe menu...

My sister hit a bird, while going at about 160kmph, about 100mph.

It sorta swooped down, hit the front of the hood, bounced up and over, and got run over by the car behind us, really weird.

aerius · Post by **aerius** » 2002-11-27 05:27pm

Sea Skimmer wrote: I ride heavily but I dont think I've ever hit a squirrel. The one in my area seem smart enough to avoid somthing about 40mm wide.

The ones in my area are completely retarded. They run back and forth across and along the bike path several times until they get hit or you ride past them. They maximise their time on the bike path, and it's almost as if they're trying to suicide. Makes a nice crunch-squish when you run them over, but it makes a mess of the bike and smells kinda bad.

Post by **Sea Skimmer** » 2002-11-27 05:36pm

aerius wrote:
Sea Skimmer wrote: I ride heavily but I dont think I've ever hit a squirrel. The one in my area seem smart enough to avoid somthing about 40mm wide.
The ones in my area are completely retarded. They run back and forth across and along the bike path several times until they get hit or you ride past them. They maximise their time on the bike path, and it's almost as if they're trying to suicide. Makes a nice crunch-squish when you run them over, but it makes a mess of the bike and smells kinda bad.

Things that stupid deserve to be crushed. Hell I'd get my old mountain bike out and go out and aim for the damn things if I was in a poor mood.

Post by **weemadando** » 2002-11-27 08:15pm

In Australia you have to swerve to avoid all the animals. Why? Because even the little bastards will do more damage to your car than you will to them.

Wombats are the worst. Barely a foot high they will happily shrug off a hit from a car that leaves the car without undercart and walk away. Fucking things.

Vertigo1 · Post by **Vertigo1** » 2002-11-28 12:30am

Bean: You feel like re-enacting any other Geico commercials?

Seriously though, just rent yourself a copy of Ice Age. What you see happen to the character "Scratt" will put you in the best of moods.

Evil Sadistic Bastard · Post by **Evil Sadistic Bastard** » 2002-11-28 12:33am

Vertigo1 wrote:Bean: You feel like re-enacting any other Geico commercials?

Seriously though, just rent yourself a copy of Ice Age. What you see happen to the character "Scratt" will put you in the best of moods.

Damn! You beat me to it!

Pay particular attention to the acorn...

Vertigo1 · Post by **Vertigo1** » 2002-11-28 12:35am

Evil Sadistic Bastard wrote:
Vertigo1 wrote:Bean: You feel like re-enacting any other Geico commercials?

Seriously though, just rent yourself a copy of Ice Age. What you see happen to the character "Scratt" will put you in the best of moods.
Damn! You beat me to it!

Pay particular attention to the acorn...

heheh, yeah. The very beginning is a riot.