Chance to become Darth Vader - will you take it ?

Sarevok · Post by **Sarevok** » 2005-08-28 05:19am

Suppose you were offered the chance to become Darth Vader. Do you accept it ? As Darth Vader you will have all of his knowledge and power but will remain a horribly maimed cyborg. Nothing, not even the Force can heal you. However you will not be restricted to the movie timeline. From the point you become Vader you can proceed as you wish.

Drunk Monkey · Post by **Drunk Monkey** » 2005-08-28 06:12am

Post by **Gandalf** » 2005-08-28 06:14am

Despite the funky powers, he doesn't seem to have a very fun life.

So no.

The Grim Squeaker · Post by **The Grim Squeaker** » 2005-08-28 06:52am

Can't I even use the force to heal myself within my chambers as Vader did, or transfer myself to a new body?

Also would I have Luke,Leia or my wife at my side?, also would I still be Palpatines lapdog, or is this "If Vader survived ANH" scenario?

Drunk Monkey · Post by **Drunk Monkey** » 2005-08-28 06:56am

the .303 bookworm wrote: Also would I have Luke,Leia or my wife at my side?, also would I still be Palpatines lapdog, or is this "If Vader survived ANH" scenario?

He did survive ANH , unless of course the Vader we see in Empire and Jedi is his eviler twin.

The Grim Squeaker · Post by **The Grim Squeaker** » 2005-08-28 07:08am

Drunk Monkey wrote:
the .303 bookworm wrote: Also would I have Luke,Leia or my wife at my side?, also would I still be Palpatines lapdog, or is this "If Vader survived ANH" scenario?
He did survive ANH , unless of course the Vader we see in Empire and Jedi is his eviler twin.

Err, Rotj

, meaning if I am Vader with Luke leading the empire then yes.
If Vader as the emperors lackey after not saving Luke then no.

Ace Pace · Post by **Ace Pace** » 2005-08-28 07:18am

Regardless of the period or the circumstances, its not that fun of a life, you require sheer hatred to keep you alive, is that how you want to live?

Kazuaki Shimazaki · Post by **Kazuaki Shimazaki** » 2005-08-28 07:21am

Ace Pace wrote:Regardless of the period or the circumstances, its not that fun of a life, you require sheer hatred to keep you alive, is that how you want to live?

Using the Dark Side really sucks when you try and fix yourself. The moment you get a bit of progress, it is almost impossible not to feel a bit pleased, and your output drops and you lose said progress (SOTE)

Ace Pace · Post by **Ace Pace** » 2005-08-28 07:24am

Yep, I mean you get a mission to kill your hated enemy.

"YES, I HATE HIM, FEEL THE POWER AS I FORCECHOKE HIM TO DEATH!"

Yay, I win! I win! I finnaly beat the crap out of him..argh..can't breath...medics...get me to my pod....argh...must hate something....

El Moose Monstero · Post by **El Moose Monstero** » 2005-08-28 07:52am

Ace Pace wrote:Yep, I mean you get a mission to kill your hated enemy.

"YES, I HATE HIM, FEEL THE POWER AS I FORCECHOKE HIM TO DEATH!"

Yay, I win! I win! I finnaly beat the crap out of him..argh..can't breath...medics...get me to my pod....argh...must hate something....

Which is why the Dark Lord of the Sith keeps a regular supply of cute fluffy kittens and adorable ickle bunnies to practice hating when he's not ruling with an iron fist.

Post by **Ghost Rider** » 2005-08-28 07:59am

Lert's just examine what it means to vbe Darth Vader.

You're a weak old man who only outlet is to strangle others and obey an older geeezer without ever experiencing any pleasure except BREATHING in a specified hyperbolic chamber.

Natural light hurts you eyes.

Normal refined air, burns you lungs.

Who know what food does to your remains of you tongue.

Noises are stranger and distorted

Everything you touch and feel is brought to by sensors.

Last and not least, you're stuck for most of the time in a casket.

Hell I'd rather be fucking Yoda's stick.

Ace Pace · Post by **Ace Pace** » 2005-08-28 08:02am

Atleast Yoda's stick lets you hit a droid

Crossroads Inc. · Post by **Crossroads Inc.** » 2005-08-28 09:56am

Gandalf wrote:Despite the funky powers, he doesn't seem to have a very fun life.

So no.

Sums up my choice in a nutshell. Plus, you know, I'd like a body Not encased in plastics in order to live...

Civil War Man · Post by **Civil War Man** » 2005-08-28 11:00am

Vader in ANH is nothing more than a bitter old husk of a man. His mother's dead. His wife's dead. As far as he knows, she was still pregnant when she died, so his child's dead. The only person left in his life is the Emperor. He was crippled by the man who was by far the closest thing he had to a father.

If someone offered to turn me into that, I'd inform them that they could take that offer and shove it up their ass.

Noble Ire · Post by **Noble Ire** » 2005-08-28 11:26am

Hell no.
All in all, Darth Vader is one of the most emotionally and physically tortured individuals I've ever seen in fiction. And besides, if you become him, you either have to stay Palpatine's lap dog, or you have to fight him, neither of which are particularly appeal prospects.

18-Till-I-Die · Post by **18-Till-I-Die** » 2005-08-28 04:01pm

Hell no! HELL NO!

I have enough problems already then being a monster cyborg sociopathic freak who cant breathe, eat, or see without complex cybernetic implants to do it for me. And God only knows what it's like to go to the bathroom as Vader, assuming you even still can at all, and then worst of all i'd have to hate, like, everything forever just to keep from dying. I have to hate my son, my best friend, my dead wife who i killed with my BARE HANDS. The only way i can get any respite at all is to sit in a lotus position in a fucking dome filled with special air, wow-wee, how exciting his life must be.

No. Thanks but no thanks, i'd rather be a shriveled up old husk like Palpatine at least he still has all hir normal sensor imput and whatnot. And i think he could still have sex too, didnt he have like 'Imperial concubines' or something? Yeah, not ideal but way better.

But not Vader.

Ender · Post by **Ender** » 2005-08-28 04:14pm

Matthew Stover says it best in the novel at the end. Anakin is completely destroyed, and Vader a fraction of what he once was, and in constant pain both physical and emotional. His mother was murdered, he killed his wife and child, he betrayed everyone who trusted him, and the man he loved most disfigured him and left him to die.

No, I would not want to be Vader. Perhaps prior to the duel, but even then the thing you would have to do to get that make me say no.

Publius · Post by **Publius** » 2005-08-28 05:01pm

Consider also the fact that he must spend the vast majority of his time wearing what amounts to a high-tech gas mask. Has anyone spent any amount of time wearing a gas mask? It is unpleasant, to say the least. The thought of wearing one for 20 years is unappealing.

The Jazz Intern · Post by **The Jazz Intern** » 2005-08-28 05:10pm

When do I start being vader? TPM? If then, yes! If I had to start at the OT, Then no. Crimpled, bad history, and mask.

Perseid · Post by **Perseid** » 2005-08-28 05:23pm

No fucking way in hell. I'd rather be a normal human being than be a trumped up cripple of a cyborg that cannot experiance anything outside of that armoured form, even with Force powers there is no appeal.

When do I start being vader? TPM? If then, yes! If I had to start at the OT, Then no. Crimpled, bad history, and mask.

OP said your the cyborg version.

18-Till-I-Die · Post by **18-Till-I-Die** » 2005-08-28 06:49pm

Publius wrote:Consider also the fact that he must spend the vast majority of his time wearing what amounts to a high-tech gas mask. Has anyone spent any amount of time wearing a gas mask? It is unpleasant, to say the least. The thought of wearing one for 20 years is unappealing.

Actually it'd be more than 20 years. A Jedi of Vader's power, life-support combined, can and would i suspect live a very long life indeed. You'd be stuck in that thing for three times that, if you're lucky, Force life sustaining powers and you might hit 100.

Even MORE reason to say no.

Sharpshooter · Post by **Sharpshooter** » 2005-08-28 07:15pm

Not a chance in hell. Power's one thing, but having to have four limbs amputated and my body burned so badly I can't live outside of a humanoid tin can? Hell no: I want to be able to feel stuff on my skin, be able to breath without having my chest on fire, be able to feel something with my true, real hand. And don't even get me started about all the porn I've amassed...

Embracer Of Darkness · Post by **Embracer Of Darkness** » 2005-08-29 12:11am

Only the most incredible fanboys would want to be that psychopathic cripple.

Nieztchean Uber-Amoeba · Post by **Nieztchean Uber-Amoeba** » 2005-08-29 12:32am

Hm, I can be a crippled old man whose only motivator is hatred who has to live in a mobile iron lung for 30 years? No thanks.

RThurmont · Post by **RThurmont** » 2005-08-29 02:11am

I'm going to be a partial contrarian in answering this:

If I would become Vader while retaining my existence here, on Earth, in this time period, and assuming that Vader is not in constant physical pain, but that the suit manages it (my guess is that would be the case, and that any pain he would be in would be emotional in nature), and assuming that Vader's digestive system is still intact and he can still enjoy food and drink, and process it normally without massive heartburn or other, less pleasant digestive problems, then yes, I think I'd go for it. It would be useful to be able to force-choke some of the annoying fuckers one has to deal with on a day to day basis, or in particularly grevious circumstances, strike them down with a lightsabre blow. While we haven't seen Vader use Force lightning, if he can do that, that would be even more of an added plus for the most annoying people of all (like a local Verizon customer service manager...)

However, if becoming Vader means being Palpatine's lapdog, or worse, bitch, then I'd tell the person offering it to me to go screw themself. Same applies if Vader is in constant physical pain, or if the digestive system is gone beyond repair...I'm too much of a gourmet to don the black helmet if it means forgoing the culinary arts.