English -> Moron Dictionary

Psycho Smiley · Post by **Psycho Smiley** » 2005-10-06 08:50pm

f d radiance of 1000 Suns wer 2 burst @ 1ce in2 d sky
dat wud bcum d splendor of d Mighty 1...
I M bcum def, d shatterer of wrlds.

wot iz best n Lyf?
2 crush yor enemies.
2 c dem driven b4 U.
& 2 hEr d lamentations of thR women.

...

...

That looks terrible.

LeftWingExtremist · Post by **LeftWingExtremist** » 2005-10-06 09:03pm

“the everlasting heyd note fixed highs canon ‘gainst self slaughter!” hamlet, first soliloquy, lines 131 – 132
there is more characters in this than in the original

Zadius · Post by **Zadius** » 2005-10-06 09:15pm

I lIk big butts & I Cnot lie U othR bros cnt deny dat wen a grl wlkz n w an itty bitty waist & a round tng n yor fAc U git sprung.

Quadlok · Post by **Quadlok** » 2005-10-06 09:59pm

Oddly, the full phrases for OMGWTFBBQ or ROTFLMAO appear as:

Oh my God wot d feck Barbeque

roLN on d flOr :-d My (_!_) Off

Instead of their short forms.

A lng tym ago, n a galaxy fR, fR, awA...

I find this bastard languages use of capital letters most interesting, but there are places that vowels really are neccessary.

RedImperator · Post by **RedImperator** » 2005-10-06 10:01pm

What happens to a dream deferred?

Does it dry out like a raisin in the sun?
Does it fester like a sore, and then run?

Does it stink like rotten meat?
Does it crust over, like a syrupy sweet?

Does it just sag, like a heavy load?

Or does it explode?

becomes...

wot hpns 2 a dream deferred?

duz it dry out lIk a raisin n d sun?
duz it fester lIk a sore, & thN run?

duz it stnk lIk rotten meat?
duz it crust Ovr, lIk a syrupy swEt?

duz it jst sag, lIk a hevE load?

o duz it explode?

The thing that I don't get is why even bother? I mean, if you were saving a bunch of characters, that would be one thing, but the original poem is 251 and the second is 224. That doesn't seem to constitute enough of a savings to justify this butchery. Though I do like using capitals to indicate long vowels.

Lord of the Farce · Post by **Lord of the Farce** » 2005-10-07 12:48am

Judges 1:19 & d LORD wz w Judah; & he drave out d inhabitants of d mowTN; bt c%d not driV out d inhabitants of d valE, cuz dey had CHARIOTS OF IRON.

Seriously, SMS talk is so ridiculous. I mean, so you might save a few seconds and a dozen characters here and there. So what?

Duckie · Post by **Duckie** » 2005-10-07 12:59am

Lord of the Farce wrote:Judges 1:19 & d LORD wz w Judah; & he drave out d inhabitants of d mowTN; bt c%d not driV out d inhabitants of d valE, cuz dey had CHARIOTS OF IRON.

Seriously, SMS talk is so ridiculous. I mean, so you might save a few seconds and a dozen characters here and there. So what?

I know. I can type easily in fully formed Engilsh with minimal amounts of stupid grammar mistakes at 100 Wpm. I have a feeling SMS talk is just a meme because it's actually easier in many cases to actually type the words out yourself. Even on a mobile phone.

Metatwaddle · Post by **Metatwaddle** » 2005-10-07 01:09am

I get the feeling, though, that SMS talk gets easier the more you do it. At first, some people probably use it just because they think their friends will find actual sentences tacky. It's a subconscious thing - when your friend sends you the text message "hi ware r u?" it can feel a little pretentious to respond "I'm in my room. Would you like to visit me?" So they just say "in my room wanna come?" instead. And it all devolves from there until it's habitual.

Personally I think SMS is tacky and pretentiousness be damned.

Stuart Mackey · Post by **Stuart Mackey** » 2005-10-07 01:31am

kheegan wrote:To quote Sir Winston Churchill...

We shaL go on 2 d nd, we shaL fite n France, we shaL fite on d seas & oceans, we shaL fite w grON confidNc & grON strength n d air, we shaL defend our islnd, wutevA d cost mA b, we shaL fite on d beaches, we shaL fite on d landing grounds, we shaL fite n d feLdz & n d st.z, we shaL fite n d hiLz; we shaL nevr surrender.

I think that was the sound of the English language finally raising a white flag...

It does that, even to Chrurchill? The master of the language in the last century? A man who won the Nobel prize for litrature?
I weep.

Stuart Mackey · Post by **Stuart Mackey** » 2005-10-07 01:33am

Discombobulated wrote:
Personally I think SMS is tacky and pretentiousness be damned.

I, for one, do not use SMS when I txt.

No, I dont, really.

Dennis Toy · Post by **Dennis Toy** » 2005-10-07 02:31am

Technical Speaks using SMS

English

" This transmission using a satellite uplink uses a 4GHZ multi-plexing asynchronous carrier wave that operates at a frequency of 300MHZ and uses a high-band pulse that carries the pulse at 23,435,343 Watts"

Moron Speak

" DIS transmission UzN a satellite uplink uzz a 4GHZ multi-plexing asynchronous carrier wAv dat opr8z @ a frequency of 300MHZ & uzz a high-band pulse dat carries d pulse @ 23,435,343 Watts"

English

The Heisenberg Principle states that once a molecule in the universe has been measured, there is no way that the molecule can be measured because the molecule has shifted position in the universe.

Moron

d Heisenberg Principle st8z dat 1ce a molecuL n d universe hz Bin measured, ther iz n way dat d molecuL cn b measured cuz d molecuL hz shifted positN n d universze.

<Get that past someone at Harvard>

Frank Hipper · Post by **Frank Hipper** » 2005-10-07 03:05am

You guys need some culture:

There once was a man from Nantucket.
Whose dick was so long he could suck it.
He said with a grin, as he wiped off his chin;
If my ear were a cunt I could fuck it!

Becomes:

ther 1ce wz a mang frm Nantucket.
whuz ==8 wz so lng he c%d suk it.
He sed w a <g>, az he wiped off Hs chin;
f my ear wer a cunt I c%d feck it!

Meh...

Metatwaddle · Post by **Metatwaddle** » 2005-10-07 03:27am

How do the letters "oul" translate to %? I almost see it, but not quite.

Faqa · Post by **Faqa** » 2005-10-07 04:46am

Oh, fuck.

Original: No reason to be found why reason did fail.

Dumbfuck-ese: n rEsN 2 b found Y rEsN did fail

Just.... HOW?

Dumbfuck reads Illiad: ther R n pacts Btwen lions & men & wolves & lambs hav n concord.

Is Homer gonna have to choke a bitch?

Akhlut · Post by **Akhlut** » 2005-10-07 11:00am

Discombobulated wrote:How do the letters "oul" translate to %? I almost see it, but not quite.

As far as I can tell, "could," rhyming with "wood," gets the same treatment as any other word with two O's.

drachefly · Post by **drachefly** » 2005-10-07 11:17am

It gets worse.

much worse.

+http://www.cnn.com/2005/WORLD/asiapcf/1 ... index.html

Ace Pace · Post by **Ace Pace** » 2005-10-07 11:20am

Posted before, in N&P.

sketerpot · Post by **sketerpot** » 2005-10-07 12:28pm

drachefly wrote:It gets worse.

much worse.

+http://www.cnn.com/2005/WORLD/asiapcf/1 ... index.html

The very first post in this thread mentioned the SMS Bible, and you don't need to break links to CNN. Instead, dress them!