Sounds That Shouldn't Be Played on TV

Einhander Sn0m4n · Post by **Einhander Sn0m4n** » 2005-10-23 03:59pm

Inspired by something that just happened: I heard a telephone ring and reflexively checked the phone, but it wasn't our phone, it was one on the TV (the Lifetime channel, what a shock!) A minor annoyance, but still it wasted some of my CPU cycles rejecting the signal as false.

I nominate a few other sounds that shouldn't ever play on TV:
1. Baby crying. It's absolutely insanely annoying (as Evolution designed it to be), and it can distract a mother (and everyone else in the house) from the real baby or whatever they're doing at the moment.
2. Doorbell. I've had more than one instance of 'Ding-dooonnnggg!' followed by "Someone answer the door!" which gets us to "No honey, that was the TV!" which then results in expletives.
3. Pure Tones, aka Sine Waves. Not only are they infuriating to hear, but they're completely impossible to trace back to the source except by a process of elimination. Note that many electronic telephone 'rings' fall into this category, as the ring tone usually consists of a repeating pattern of short-duration puretones of differing frequencies.
4. Dynamically-compressed commercials. I hate it when advertisers think it'll sell more product when they squeeze all the dynamic range of their ads to within a tenth of a decibel of the maximum sound-pressure possible or allowable. It batters down mental barriers (and if you have a powerful stereo system and are watching a show with lots of quiet spots, the fucking thing will just stomp your shields flat like a nuclear bomb to the face!) and can cause actual damage to delicate auditory apparatus, electronic and biological alike.

Anyone else have any sounds they'd like to keep off the airwaves?

Duckie · Post by **Duckie** » 2005-10-23 04:05pm

Canned Laughter in sitcoms and comedies and the like. You shouldn't be prompted to laugh if it's generally funny. If it's not, GTFO the air.

Akhlut · Post by **Akhlut** » 2005-10-23 04:25pm

Bill O'Reilly's voice. How anyone can listen to that boggles my mind.

Beyond that, the stupid ass music for the commericials for that one incontinence drug. Hell, it's an offense to all music to even call that cacophony "music." It has everything recognizable as music in it, but it's not actually music. It's like the people who produced it found out a way to convert a cheese grater into sound so it would shave layers off of someone's psyche. Those dirty bastards.

Raxmei · Post by **Raxmei** » 2005-10-23 09:04pm

Electronic alarm clocks. I find them absolutely infuriating on tv, yet oddly less so in person. Mechanical alarm clocks don't have this problem.

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi · Post by **Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi** » 2005-10-23 09:54pm

The "record needle scratching" sound you hear when a romantic moment is inturrupted in a comedic way. It's been at "cliche" status for years, and I'm sure most of the viewers don't even know exactly what it is, just that it's associated with romantic moments that are interrupted in a comedic way.

Zadius · Post by **Zadius** » 2005-10-23 10:18pm

Raxmei wrote:Electronic alarm clocks.

Yes, I agree. There is a commercial that runs fairly often that has an alarm that sounds exactly like mine. I hate is because that sound, in my mind, is associated with the "ohh, shit I don't want to get up yet" feeling. It gives me that horrible feeling every time I hear it.

Davis 51 · Post by **Davis 51** » 2005-10-23 10:20pm

How about the fucking 'Empire Today' Ads. They repeat that same stupid fucking jingle so many times in about 30 seconds. (The radio ones are worse.)

GRRRRRRRRR

Einhander Sn0m4n · Post by **Einhander Sn0m4n** » 2005-10-23 10:29pm

While we're on 'bad commercials', GREEN LIGHT gets my eternal damnation. I'd not have to deal with it if it weren't for Dave watching Faux News and Faux News CONSTANTLY playing the fucking thing at least three times per ad break! GRARGH!

Metatwaddle · Post by **Metatwaddle** » 2005-10-23 10:31pm

Urgh. I generally agree with all of these (except for the sine wave one - I don't think I've ever heard one on TV, and I'm not sure what they sound like).

The one that pisses me off most is people crunchily eating chips. I am not going to buy the chips because they make a nice sound when you eat them. In fact, they don't make a nice sound - I loathe any sound associated with eating.

The same goes for that idiotic Raisin Bran commercial where the guy's getting fired and he can't hear his boss telling him so.

Superman · Post by **Superman** » 2005-10-23 11:48pm

People eating, chewing and swallowing. Carl's Jr is probably the worst offender, but others have done it too.

Post by **RogueIce** » 2005-10-24 12:00am

Progressive. That stupid little guitar intro thing repeating over and over and over...

And the worst part is, they seem to air two commercials back to back! I hate that stupid guitar piece.

Anarchist Bunny · Post by **Anarchist Bunny** » 2005-10-24 12:17am

AIM message received sound. AOL usually plays them at a little higher volume then averything else in there commercials and makes me reflexively look to my monitor.

Magnetic · Post by **Magnetic** » 2005-10-24 09:55am

Whenever I hear the doorbell on Alias, it sounds exactly like mine. Funny thing is, whenever someone rings our doorbell, my cats scatter. When the doorbell rings on Alias, my cats slightly jump and look around.

Some of the most annoying 'sounds' on TV is a lot of the music behind commercials. Some of the most annoying ones are the ones from Cadilac and the AC/DC song, "OOooo yeah. OOOOooo yeah. " Oh that is SO freakin' annoying!!!!

Majin Gojira · Post by **Majin Gojira** » 2005-10-24 10:05am

How about the word "Hella" in general. It doesn't matter what tone or decible, just that word...hurts me...

Manus Celer Dei · Post by **Manus Celer Dei** » 2005-10-24 11:29am

Einhander Sn0m4n wrote: 2. Doorbell. I've had more than one instance of 'Ding-dooonnnggg!' followed by "Someone answer the door!" which gets us to "No honey, that was the TV!" which then results in expletives.

It always drives my dog crazy.

darthdavid · Post by **darthdavid** » 2005-10-24 03:37pm

Magnetic wrote:Some of the most annoying 'sounds' on TV is a lot of the music behind commercials. Some of the most annoying ones are the ones from Cadilac and the AC/DC song, "OOooo yeah. OOOOooo yeah. " Oh that is SO freakin' annoying!!!!

Ok for one that's Led Zeppelin not AC/DC and for two you should be shot for calling it bad music. It's poor utilization of it and it was a seriously bad idea on the part of the surving members of Led Zeppelin to release their music for commercial use. But DON'T FUCKIGN INSULT THE ZEP!!!.

Einhander Sn0m4n · Post by **Einhander Sn0m4n** » 2005-10-24 03:46pm

RogueIce wrote:Progressive. That stupid little guitar intro thing repeating over and over and over...

And the worst part is, they seem to air two commercials back to back! I hate that stupid guitar piece.

Ohhh how could I have possibly forgotten that one? I'd add something to that, but you voiced my exact word-for-word opinion.

Now I need to get the fucking thing out of my head. MP3 Time!

Einhander Sn0m4n · Post by **Einhander Sn0m4n** » 2005-10-24 03:47pm

Superman wrote:People eating, chewing and swallowing. Carl's Jr is probably the worst offender, but others have done it too.

->BARF!<-

Magnetic · Post by **Magnetic** » 2005-10-24 04:10pm

darthdavid wrote:
Magnetic wrote:Some of the most annoying 'sounds' on TV is a lot of the music behind commercials. Some of the most annoying ones are the ones from Cadilac and the AC/DC song, "OOooo yeah. OOOOooo yeah. " Oh that is SO freakin' annoying!!!!
Ok for one that's Led Zeppelin not AC/DC and for two you should be shot for calling it bad music. It's poor utilization of it and it was a seriously bad idea on the part of the surving members of Led Zeppelin to release their music for commercial use. But DON'T FUCKIGN INSULT THE ZEP!!!.

Okay, Led Zeppelin did that song. But there was another commercial that used an AC/DC song. But I stand behind what I said about the "Ooo yeah". I'm not insulting Led Zeppelin, just saying that the part in question is annoying to me. Of course, I am more of a fusion jazz kind of guy, so it's probably why I don't like that commercial.

I used to be very much into those 80's bands, but got burned out on them and can no longer listen to them for even an entire song. I DO get a kick out of watching those shows on MTV or E! when they make fun of things in the past. But I digress, since this has nothing to do with the main point of the post.

Molyneux · Post by **Molyneux** » 2005-10-24 05:44pm

I've said it before, and I'll say it again...we dearly need an equivalent of Adblock for television. Just something to click on your remote that flags a particular commercial, so whenever it plays the TV just goes to a blank screen (or turns itself off or mutes itself) for the duration of said flagged commercial.

darthdavid · Post by **darthdavid** » 2005-10-24 06:00pm

Magnetic wrote:
darthdavid wrote:
Magnetic wrote:Some of the most annoying 'sounds' on TV is a lot of the music behind commercials. Some of the most annoying ones are the ones from Cadilac and the AC/DC song, "OOooo yeah. OOOOooo yeah. " Oh that is SO freakin' annoying!!!!
Ok for one that's Led Zeppelin not AC/DC and for two you should be shot for calling it bad music. It's poor utilization of it and it was a seriously bad idea on the part of the surving members of Led Zeppelin to release their music for commercial use. But DON'T FUCKIGN INSULT THE ZEP!!!.
Okay, Led Zeppelin did that song. But there was another commercial that used an AC/DC song. But I stand behind what I said about the "Ooo yeah". I'm not insulting Led Zeppelin, just saying that the part in question is annoying to me. Of course, I am more of a fusion jazz kind of guy, so it's probably why I don't like that commercial.

I used to be very much into those 80's bands, but got burned out on them and can no longer listen to them for even an entire song. I DO get a kick out of watching those shows on MTV or E! when they make fun of things in the past. But I digress, since this has nothing to do with the main point of the post.

Since when is led zepplin an 80s band? Or was that part talking about AC/DC?

darthdavid · Post by **darthdavid** » 2005-10-24 06:04pm

And if it is that's not accurate either because AC/DC started in the 70s and continues playing to this day so their run in the 80s makes up only a small part of their history, and most of their memorable songs are from the 70s any way.

Braedley · Post by **Braedley** » 2005-10-24 08:10pm

Molyneux wrote:I've said it before, and I'll say it again...we dearly need an equivalent of Adblock for television. Just something to click on your remote that flags a particular commercial, so whenever it plays the TV just goes to a blank screen (or turns itself off or mutes itself) for the duration of said flagged commercial.

Yes!!! That would be so great.

As for the OP, over-the-top car salesmen (especially from New England).

darthdavid · Post by **darthdavid** » 2005-10-24 08:53pm

Braedley wrote:
Molyneux wrote:I've said it before, and I'll say it again...we dearly need an equivalent of Adblock for television. Just something to click on your remote that flags a particular commercial, so whenever it plays the TV just goes to a blank screen (or turns itself off or mutes itself) for the duration of said flagged commercial.
Yes!!! That would be so great.

As for the OP, over-the-top car salesmen (especially from New England).

Do the "IT'S HUUUUUGE" fucktards operate in your region too? They make me want to throw a rock at my TV.

Braedley · Post by **Braedley** » 2005-10-24 09:03pm

Well when Fox was actually a good channel to watch, I'd get a good number of them a day, but not so much anymore. There's still the furniture commercilas like that too.

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Sounds That Shouldn't Be Played on TV

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