Zaia's Babysitting Adventure!

Post by **Dalton** » 2005-10-17 03:42am

I dunno if you guys have seen the comparison pic, but when I say that Steve is much bigger than me, I ain't kiddin'.

Captain Cyran · Post by **Captain Cyran** » 2005-10-17 03:31pm

Steve wrote:
Captain Cyran wrote:My bets on Dalton...

He turns into the fucking Green Giant (who is far more frightening than the Hulk) when he gets pissed.
I've been credited with destroying civilizations when on an M&M sugar rush.

Pfft, so is Lindar. And I've been known to do it on a whim.

But with that in play, things do get more interesting. We'll see how this ends up.

Lindar · Post by **Lindar** » 2005-10-17 07:14pm

Captain Cyran wrote:
Steve wrote:
Captain Cyran wrote:My bets on Dalton...

He turns into the fucking Green Giant (who is far more frightening than the Hulk) when he gets pissed.
I've been credited with destroying civilizations when on an M&M sugar rush.
Pfft, so is Lindar. And I've been known to do it on a whim.

But with that in play, things do get more interesting. We'll see how this ends up.

OOH! *demands the show come back on* I wanna see the rest of the showwwwwwww*whines*

Mark S · Post by **Mark S** » 2005-10-18 10:36am

*Mark appears out of the air* Please, please, peace be with Y... *Gets rolled over by the crashing bodies* God damn it. *Looks up* Uh... I mean... Ah, fuck it.

Post by **Kuja** » 2005-11-07 10:43pm

...and back.

PART 23: Just When You Thought Things Were All Under Control

LINDAR: Is this a scary movie?

ZAIA: Yes. If you don't-

LINDAR: Cool!

ZAIA: Um-

NANAHI: I don't like scary movies.

CYRAN: Don't worry. If you get scared I'll hold your hand.

*NANAHI visibly thinks this over*

NANAHI: I don't think my dad would be too pleased with that.

*CUT TO: image of a BALROG holding CYRAN by the legs and repeatedly smashing him into the pavement*

CYRAN: Uh...right.

*CHIBIZILLA quietly leaves the couch, circles around behind it, and grabs NANAHI from behind*

CHIBIZILLA: Ronk!

NANAHI: YEEK!

*she leaps off the couch and coils herself around CYRAN as CHIBIZILLA laughs*

NANAHI: Jerk.

CYRAN: Uh...

NANAHI: Shut up. I'm staying right here with you.

*CUT TO: NITRAM somewhere standing bolt upright with a look of shock*

NITRAM: Feels like hell just froze over!

*CUT BACK to the house as ZAIA hits buttons on the remote*

ZAIA: Stupid previews. Here we go.

LINDAR: Hey, does anyone want popcorn?

*she bolts off to go rummage through her bag, pulling out a microwave that she promptly plugs into the wall before shoving a bag of popcorn inside and zapping it*

LINDAR: Here we go!

CYRAN: Rock on.

*spot music as the side door opens and KRAMER sticks his head in*

KRAMER: Hey, got any jam left?

ZAIA: Yeah, it's in the fridge door.

KRAMER: Oh, thanks!

*he vanishes into the kitchen, leaving the door open*

ZAIA: Hey, let me have some popcorn.

*KRAMER reappears gnawing on a badly-made jam sandwich*

KRAMER: Mmmm, what's on?

ZAIA: Movie.

KRAMER: Oh yeah, what?

ZAIA: American Werewolf in London. Are you staying to watch?

KRAMER: Oh no, I can't watch werewolf movies, I get indigestion.

ZAIA: See you later then.

KRAMER: See ya!

*he heads back out the side door*

TV: Arooooooo!

BRAINCHILD: Ah, that would be the wolf.

VOICE: Arooooooo!

CYRAN: Hey, nice surround sound.

ZAIA: I don't have surround sound.

*pause*

CYRAN: Yeah, hardy-har.

ZAIA: No, really.

*pause*

VOICE: Arooooooooo!

*everyone jumps together and huddles on the couch*

CYRAN: OK, stop the ride, I wanna get off.

NANAHI: I want my mommy!

BRAINCHILD: Can individual organs contract lycanthropy?

CHIBIZILLA: Reeeeeeeeenk!

ZAIA: Quiet, all of you!

VOICE: Arooooooooo!

ZAIA: It's behind the couch!

*everyone spins around to peek over the seat of the couch, revealing ALETIA sitting up and howling*

ALETIA: Arooooooooo!

CYRAN: You've gotta be kidding me.

ZAIA: Dear god, she's taking after her father.

LINDAR: Ooooh, is she going to transform? Tonight's a full moon, right?

ZAIA: COVER THE WINDOWS! NOW!

*everyone bolts off the couch, scattering across the house*

Ford Prefect · Post by **Ford Prefect** » 2005-11-07 10:48pm

May I ask, why was Kramer in Zaia's house? Is there precedent for such and awesome happenstance?

Post by **Kuja** » 2005-11-07 11:50pm

Ford Prefect wrote:May I ask, why was Kramer in Zaia's house? Is there precedent for such and awesome happenstance?

Ummmm....nope, don't think so. But remember to ask - why the heck do I need one?

darthdavid · Post by **darthdavid** » 2005-11-08 01:09am

Somebody is affected by the full moon, I wonder who it is...

Captain Cyran · Post by **Captain Cyran** » 2005-11-08 01:25am

*Pause*

*blink*

Why are you hooking me up with the half snake girl? I mean, there is the added bonus of hell control...

Mmmm, control of Hell...

The Duchess of Zeon · Post by **The Duchess of Zeon** » 2005-11-08 02:10am

Captain Cyran wrote:*Pause*

*blink*

Why are you hooking me up with the half snake girl? I mean, there is the added bonus of hell control...

Mmmm, control of Hell...

*glinty-eyed stare*

I think you're forgetting something.

Ford Prefect · Post by **Ford Prefect** » 2005-11-08 02:38am

Kuja wrote: Ummmm....nope, don't think so. But remember to ask - why the heck do I need one?

You don't. Kramer should appear in more stories anyway.

Captain Cyran · Post by **Captain Cyran** » 2005-11-08 12:33pm

The Duchess of Zeon wrote: *glinty-eyed stare*

I think you're forgetting something.

Err, hi Duchess. *coughs*

Oh come on, it's this or fighting for eternity for control over hell.

Darth Yoshi · Post by **Darth Yoshi** » 2005-11-08 01:34pm

Do you actually have to see the moon to transform?

consequences · Post by **consequences** » 2005-11-08 01:47pm

Darth Yoshi wrote:Do you actually have to see the moon to transform?

Only if its funnier that way.

darthdavid · Post by **darthdavid** » 2005-11-08 02:34pm

I no longer wonder because I actually read it right. That's what I get for late night reading.

Post by **Kuja** » 2005-11-15 01:00pm

INTERLUDE: Meandering

*OPEN UP on a smoke filled room with a single light bulb hanging from the ceiling. KUJA sits at a typewriter, slowly clicking the keys. After a moment, he sits back and takes a drag on a cigarette. The door opens and a GUY walks in*

GUY: What's this?

KUJA: I wanted to get some noir in and it's hard to do that with a bunch of kids around.

GUY: Ah, gotcha.

*the GUY flops down on a nearby couch and flips on an old black-and-white TV*

KUJA: Get me a beer, will you?

GUY: You never told me you write better drunk.

KUJA: I don't.

GUY: Oh.

*he turns on an X-box and begins playing Battlefront 2*

GUY: Who do you think would win, Aayla Secura or Darth Vader?

KUJA: Vader killed the Jedi. Aayla got hosed by a squad of clones. Vader by default.

GUY: Huh. You're acting a little snappy Kuja, what's up?

*KUJA spins, beer in hand*

KUJA: Dammit Dan, I nearly died!

DAN: Huh?

KUJA: The CAR Dan. For God's sake, the CAR.

*FLASHBACK: KUJA in his Mustang driving down a highway. All of a sudden a tire explodes, sending the car into a wild cartwheel, landing upright in the median*

DAN: You're so full of it.

*FLASHBACK: The Mustang slowly pulling into a parking spot and suddenly lurching to the left, Kuja gets out of the car and looks at the wheel*

KUJA: Motherfucker.

*end flashback*

KUJA: OK, so I embellished a little.

DAN: A lot.

KUJA: Fuck off.

DAN: You know, if this is supposed to be noir, shouldn't you be a detective or something? And constantly having a thought track?

KUJA: Meh.

DAN: You're bored aren't you?

KUJA: Yeah.

*a figure suddenly sits up from the floor*

JIM: Did somebody ask for shrooms?

DAN: No Jim, go back to your drunken stupor.

JIM: Okay.

*he lays back down*

DAN: Wanna play Battlefront?

KUJA: Already beat it.

DAN: Soul Calibur 3?

KUJA: The AI in that game pisses me off to no end.

*another figure walks in from the kitchen*

MIKE: Mmmm, sweet and sour seagulls.

KUJA: You get weirder every day.

VOICE: Kuj, where's your plunger?

KUJA: DAMMIT TOM!

TOM: Sorry!

KUJA: Wait a second. How many bloody people are in my house?

JIM: Yo.

DAN: Hey.

MIKE: Here.

TOM: Yep!

VOICE: Hola!

VOICE: Schweez.

VOICE: S'up yo!

KUJA: No wonder I can't frigging write. My house is full of idiots.

DAN: Yeah, and fuck you too.

TOM: Hey, are we ordering pizza tonight?

KUJA: For fuck's sake.

MIKE: Hey, where's Mothra?

JIM: Yeah, where's your GIRLfriend?

KUJA: About to step on your nuts.

*JIM panics, then realizes there's nobody there*

JIM: I hate you!

KUJA: Sucker.

Ace Pace · Post by **Ace Pace** » 2005-11-15 01:09pm

You rock dude, you are THE writer.

Ford Prefect · Post by **Ford Prefect** » 2005-11-15 05:34pm

Eheheheheheheh.

Captain Cyran · Post by **Captain Cyran** » 2005-11-16 09:36pm

KUJA: The CAR Dan. For God's sake, the CAR.

*FLASHBACK: KUJA in his Mustang driving down a highway. All of a sudden a tire explodes, sending the car into a wild cartwheel, landing upright in the median*

DAN: You're so full of it.

*FLASHBACK: The Mustang slowly pulling into a parking spot and suddenly lurching to the left, Kuja gets out of the car and looks at the wheel*

KUJA: Motherfucker.

*end flashback*

KUJA: OK, so I embellished a little.

DAN: A lot.

KUJA: Fuck off.

Ha ha! You can't even win in your own story!

Don't hurt me.

Post by **Kuja** » 2005-11-16 10:17pm

PART 24: And Here's Even Less Control

NANAHI: Hey Zaia? There's some weird-looking guy in the kitchen!

VOICE: SHUT UP, WORM!

*pounding sounds*

ZAIA: Oh shit, I know that voice...

*she creeps into the kitchen to find NANAHI goggling at a huge figure in a face mask who is currently occupied with chopping up a slab of meat with a huge axe*

ZAIA: I though I took your key away. How the hell did you get in here, Astaroth?

ASTAROTH: DOOR, SCHMOOR! I BUSTED IT OPEN!

*ZAIA smacks her forehead*

ZAIA: Never mind. What the hell are you doing now?

*ASTAROTH drops his axe and turns around, holding a giant blood-splattered platter*

ASTAROTH: DINNER!

ZAIA: You haven't even cooked it!

*ASTAROTH roars and throws it to the ground*

ASTAROTH: YOU'RE SO PICKY! THIS IS WHY I DUMPED YOU!

ZAIA: EXCUSE ME?! I DUMPED YOU, YOU OVERSIZED LUNKHEAD!

*they begin a heated argument as CHIBIZILLA comes up behind NANAHI, taps her on the shoulder, and leads her out of the kitchen back into the living room where the other kids are waiting*

NANAHI: What's up?

CYRAN: We're gonna take Aletia outside and see what happens.

NANAHI: *staring* You do have a death wish, don't you?

CYRAN: Oh hush. This is all in the name of scientific understanding. Lindar, help me grab her.

LINDAR: OK!

*they grab hold of ALETIA and haul her outside as CHIBIZILLA holds the door open as they dash out to the front lawn*

CYRAN: Aletia, look up there!

*ALETIA looks up at the full moon and freezes, blinking slowly. For a moment, nothing happens. Then she begins sprouting brown fur all over and legs grow from her sides. After a minute, ALETIA has become a full-fledged wolf pup*

LINDAR: AWWWWWW! She's so cute! CUDDLES!

*she dives at ALETIA with arms outstretched, but the newly-made werewolf panics and dodges out of the way, then begins running*

CYRAN: Shit! Catch her!

*he and NANAHI dart forward, but ALETIA hops out of the way and dashes across the street, going right through somebody's screen door. There is the sound of breaking glass and a cat's panicked yowl*

BRAINCHILD: Not good, not good.

NANAHI: What do we do now?

CYRAN: Cover it up and hope nobody notices?

*everyone turns to stare at CYRAN*

CYRAN: Well, it was worth mentioning.

NANAHI: Lindar, follow her trail!

LINDAR: Got it!

*LINDAR pulls a set of cat ears out of her backpack and puts them on. They promptly start wriggling*

LINDAR: This way!

CYRAN: I hope Zaia's gonna be arguing for awhile.

BRAINCHILD: Knowing Zaia...knowing Astaroth...it'll be a few.

Elheru Aran · Post by **Elheru Aran** » 2005-11-16 10:18pm

Excellent! -grins-

Captain Cyran · Post by **Captain Cyran** » 2005-11-16 10:21pm

Why I would never do something potentially dangerous for the purposes of finding out what it does...

I wonder what would happen if I hit Astaroth with Mini and haste...

Singular Quartet · Post by **Singular Quartet** » 2005-11-16 10:43pm

Mini and haste... hmm... why don't you give him a big-honkin's sword of character whooping, while you're at it?

Post by **Steve** » 2005-11-17 02:06am

Astaroth? Ha. At least it wasn't Nightmare.

Ford Prefect · Post by **Ford Prefect** » 2005-11-17 06:14pm

Kuja, you kick ass. You kick it hard.