Worst Sci-fi

[Oberleutnant]

Ah Zardoz. Sean Connery's best movie.

[img]pic[/img]

... the hell?

If Sean Connery jumping around the woods in red diapers wasn't cheesy enough, having him chant "Penis is bad! Penis is bad!" as a gigantic floating head spits out guns from its mouth to a euphoric crowd certainly makes Zardoz one of the most bizarre science fiction movies you'll ever see.

[Ford Prefect]

I think a part of me may have just died.

[Bounty]

Ah Zardoz. Sean Connery's best movie.

[img]pic[/img]

... the hell?

Connery is Zed, a Brutal Exterminator who hates the Penis for spreading seed and loves the Gun for eradicating the life that contaminates earth. He and his band of masked, diaper-wearing thugs collect food for Zardoz, a giant flying stone head that vomits guns and ammo. One day, Zed climbs into the head and flies to the Vortex, where immortal post-modern bored hippies live on an English country estate and spend their days being bored, apathic and topless.

That's the part of the movie that's still relatively coherent (ie, before the "chant a guy to death" scene, the sex ed class and the truly disturbing bit where Connery sweat sends a group of catatonic hippies into an orgy). The movie just gets weirder from there, ending in a garden party where the hippies smile and laugh while being shot/stabbed by the diaper brigade with Beethoven's Seventh in the background. Then some hippy chick gives birth, Zed turns into a skeleton, roll credits.

[wautd]

*Head explodes*

[AirshipFanboy]

I don't know how to answer this question because I usually try to *forget* crappy Scifi movies.

Why do people hate Battlefield Earth so much? Is it because it doesn't make any sense at all? I mean it is kind of stupid in many ways, including the redicoulous concept of a nuclear weapon sterilizing a planet, let alone blowing it to pieces. Yet I don't see anything that would warrant such large dislike for the movie.

Yes. It made no sense, and got boring near the end. The beginning didn't make me vomit, but that's the best that can be said of it. All in all, I thought the movie had very few virtues, and I didn't bother finishing the novel.

Also, L. Ron Hubbard was a fucking dipshit.

Connery is Zed, a Brutal Exterminator who hates the Penis for spreading seed and loves the Gun for eradicating the life that contaminates earth. He and his band of masked, diaper-wearing thugs collect food for Zardoz, a giant flying stone head that vomits guns and ammo. One day, Zed climbs into the head and flies to the Vortex, where immortal post-modern bored hippies live on an English country estate and spend their days being bored, apathic and topless.

That's the part of the movie that's still relatively coherent (ie, before the "chant a guy to death" scene, the sex ed class and the truly disturbing bit where Connery sweat sends a group of catatonic hippies into an orgy). The movie just gets weirder from there, ending in

What the hell? This is so fucked up I might have to see it. Preferrably after I drink a lot of vodka.

[NecronLord]

(I first read the novels when I was in a mental hospital-- I was bored-- so you can understand what kind of mentality you must be in to actually want to read Hubbard's crap.)

Are you absolutely sure that reading Hubbard was not what got you into the mental hospital?

[Typhonis 1]

Zardoz takes place in a poist apocalyptic furte....name of zardoz comes from the book Wizard of Oz. Aparently Connerys character is the next step in human evolution.Said hippies age each other as punishment as they cannot die by normal means...they can clone themselves and upload memories into said clone if they die.

Connery was sent to see what the mess was because Zardoz had his people stop killing everyone else and start making them grow food.

Hippies have a crystal that is actually a super powerful computer that stores information as light and can sit in the palm of your hand.

Yes I have seen it and it isn`t the Worst sci fi thats out there......

[Spanky The Dolphin]

The worst sci-fi film I have ever seen is also the worst film I have ever seen, period: Monster a-Go Go.

[Spanky The Dolphin]

Ghetto Edit: Monster a-Go Go is also easily the worst film ever made. Seriously, absolutely nothing can beat just how horrendously terrible and inept it is.

[Noble Ire]

Kikaider just makes me mad. I still get headaches when I think about the final episode. I can't believe I actually watched it's run.

[The Yosemite Bear]

Since I've seen and read just aabout everything....


worst seen

some sort of 1970's canibal cult abducts sorority girls and takes them to an alternate reality.

Micheal Mann's adaptation of F. Paul Wilson's The Keep, Mann should not be allowed to do suspense, he should just stick with action.

Worst Read:

Steven King's THX-1138/Logan's Run inspired Mythos story. (yes were talking combos that should not be seen)

[Raxmei]

The worst movie SF I've seen is Red Planet, which was just insulting. Alien Apocalypse was bad, but more on the stupidly dull side of things.

[Elheru Aran]

Worst Sci-Fi ever seen:
A Sci-Fi channel original production, I don't recal what it was called, but bunch of buglike aliens take over the Earth. They have a bunch of poorly designed energy weapons, think Stargate TV-show type staff weapons, but the bolts travel slower but do a bit more damage. In any case, they get owned by a bunch of humans using bows arrows and swords. What particularly irked me was the acting, the special effects, the script, it was all huge mounds of suckitude.

That would be Alien Apocalypse with Bruce Campbell. And yes, it sucked majorly.

Worst sci-fi... Alien Resurrection probably. There's no way to save that turd. Just... no.

[Elheru Aran]

Ghetto Edit: And any number of Sci-fi Original productions. Like 'Raptor Island'... I mean, WTF?!

[Sidewinder]

(I first read the novels when I was in a mental hospital-- I was bored-- so you can understand what kind of mentality you must be in to actually want to read Hubbard's crap.)

Are you absolutely sure that reading Hubbard was not what got you into the mental hospital?

No, working under an abusive section sergeant who likes to publically humiliate the soldiers under him was what got me sent to a mental hospital and, later, my chapter releasing me from Army service. (I swear, if I had to serve under that guy in Iraq, my deployment would've ended with me detonating a suicide bomb in his tent.)

[LordShaithis]

...Sean Connery jumping around the woods in red diapers ... chant[ing] "Penis is bad! Penis is bad!" as a gigantic floating head spits out guns from its mouth to a euphoric crowd...

MUST. RENT. ZARDOZ.

[Rye]

XTRO II is by fucking FAR one of the worst things I have ever seen, it was just awful, terrible writing. That said, it paralleled half life in several ways. It was based in some underground top secret research lab in a desert that's experimenting with dimension jumping technology. A team of people jump through and then it becomes an enormous ripoff of Alien. The scientists walk along a planet's surface, eerily the exact same as LV-426, and the cameras in the scientists' are very staticky in order to avoid lawsuit as they approach a very familiar spaceship.

I forget what happens after that (sfx budget wasn't big enoguh to have facehuggers), but long story short, one of the scientists, probably called shepherd (there are at least 3 characters in this film call shepherd, I swear down) is infected. Later on, when he's alone, there's an over-bloody birth scene as it escapes his body in a way that doesn't really make sense. It's not a chest burst, it's more like there's some guy stretching his arm about under a bedsheet before the skin or bones break.

The monster (advertised on the box as "part alien. part predator. all terror." no shit) then escapes into the vents.

Various stuff happens that I don't recall, we meet Shepherd, the male hero, and the guy that played Krycek in the X-Files' marine team, with shameless smart gun ripoffs. Production values were terrible, the writing was confused (shepherd gets killed by the alien, shepherd gets crushed by the lift and shepherd sacrifices himself valiantly in the dimensional gateway) and read like something a 12 year old would've written, in complete honesty. Acted by fucking planks of wood, Krycek being in it was the coolest part.

Read? Fuck, I can't even think now I've just been contemplating XTRO II: The Second Encounter.

http://www.eofftv.com/review/x/xtro_ii_review.htm

[Guardsman Bass]

Seen: Does anybody remember a movie called Riverworld, that came on some time around when Children of Dune did? It was on the Sci-Fi channel, and was possibly the worst science fiction movie I've ever seen. It had an interesting premise (thousands of people from Earth are being resurrected, from all times in human history), and they squandered it with stupidities like the macho-Viking-ish society, the African Princess who, although appearing naked like the rest of the people, somehow manages to find stereotypical- Tarzan clothing. Not to mention the ending, uggghhh. Unless it turned into a tv series or something (and there was no indication of that, when I watched it), it was pretty lame.

Read: I think no science fiction novel is as bad as The American Zone, by L. Neil Smith, a leading "Libertarian" Sci-Fi writer. The novel was absolutely hideous. It was done in the first person, but the plot was thread bare and obvious, and the whole book seemed to be just an excuse for L.Neil Smith to brag about his Libertopia.

[Dalton]

What? The worst? Granted, these are hardly the crown jewels of SW EU, but compared to The Crystal Star -- which, among other things, introduced Centaurs into the SW universe -- they aren't really that bad. The New Rebellion was actually enjoyable on repeated readings.

I've never read Crystal Star - I decided to stay away from it based on multiple negative reviews - but The New Rebellion read like a bishie fangirl writing bad fanfic, as I have stated in the past.

Why do people hate Battlefield Earth so much? Is it because it doesn't make any sense at all? I mean it is kind of stupid in many ways, including the redicoulous concept of a nuclear weapon sterilizing a planet, let alone blowing it to pieces. Yet I don't see anything that would warrant such large dislike for the movie.

Aside from the crappy plot, poor acting, overacted villain and silly plot devices, every single shot in the movie was canted. All of them.

'The Courtship of Princess Leia'-- which should've been titled 'The Feminazi Propaganda Set In the Star Wars Galaxy So Its Scientifically Ignorant Author Can Make Money'-- was what killed my interest in licensed novels. Having it follow up the Thrawn Trilogy was a disappointment as great as having 'The Matrix Revolutions' follow up the original movie. (I actually enjoyed 'Reloaded'.)

As I recall Dave Wolverton is mainly a fantasy author, which becomes pretty obvious when reading that pile of crap. That was one of the low points of EU to me. And that he wrote the end of the Zsinj arc first and did it in such a stupid, crappy manner just annoys me, because I read CoPL after Wraith Squadron and seeing Zsinj defeated in such a stupid, idiotic manner was annoying in the extreme. Hah, if you take a look at my bookshelf, you'd notice that I need replacement copies of my Thrawn Trilogy books, but the spines of all my KJA novels, CoPL, CotJ and New Rebellion are hardly even bent and have been exiled from my EU shelf. Hell, I'm considering getting rid of Black Fleet Crisis too.

[Bounty]

Aside from the crappy plot, poor acting, overacted villain and silly plot devices, every single shot in the movie was canted. All of them.

[/url]Being the free spirit that he is, Jonnie refuses to conform to the party line and sets out to ride his horse up a hill. Or possibly down a hill, or maybe upside down for that matter. The cameraman is on crack so it's quite impossible to tell. Chrissy meets up (or down) with him only to get the usual "it's a mans job" treatment when she wants to join him in his quest for food / gold / glory / puppies / whatever. Jonnie receives a sentimental trinket before riding into / out of / upon / slightly left of the sunset.

[Bounty]

Crap, forgot the link

[Dahak]

Seen: Immortal. It was a...very special movie. Very boring indeed.
Read: The Mars trilogy. My god, was that boring...

[Ghost Rider]

Worst Movie: Battlefield Earth. Barring Sci-Fi nonsense such as Monster A Go-Go and such not...this was complete tripe. Literally I laughed nearly on the level of Monster, and at points they were supposed to be dramatic. The only other one that came close was Wing Commander for me.

Worst Book: Some pre Dune tripe where I seriously wonder where the fuck did Herbert/Anderson come up with some of these ideas. A close second is New Rebellion. What's funny is how bad some of these books age. Anderson's are crap, but some of them are "We need Plot Device to cripple Luke so we can have an antagonist that'll challenge him."

[The Yosemite Bear]

A general rules

comic book and RPG writters should not try and write serious Sci-fi as they will inevvatably bring too much fantasy elements into it.

if an actor writes, directs, stars, and finaces a movie avoid it like the plauge unless the actor in question is Orson Welles.

[Mark S]

While Battlefield Earth and Matrix Reloaded were, I'd say, worse scifi to be sure, I've still always had a special hate on for The Black Hole. The cutesy R2D2 rip off robot, the stiff-legged eviiil robots, the cheesy zombified crew plot, the meteor rolling through the ship like a bowling ball, right to the trippy ending, urg. Even still, looking at it objectively I suppose I give it a hard time but ever since seeing it as a kid I've never been able to stand it.

As for read, I actually don't read that much scifi. For me it would be Deathstalker or whatever it was called. I know there are people who are into it but it was just so unoriginal and tried way too hard. It just pissed me off that the author tried to shove as many scifi standards in as he could think of. Evil empire, psycics, cyborgs, battle drugs, sword fights, vampires, werewolves, alien killer monsters, was that the kitchen sink that just flew past?