Worst Sci-fi

andrewgpaul · Post by **andrewgpaul** » 2005-11-26 12:20pm

Guardsman Bass wrote:Seen: Does anybody remember a movie called Riverworld, that came on some time around when Children of Dune did? It was on the Sci-Fi channel, and was possibly the worst science fiction movie I've ever seen. It had an interesting premise (thousands of people from Earth are being resurrected, from all times in human history), and they squandered it with stupidities like the macho-Viking-ish society, the African Princess who, although appearing naked like the rest of the people, somehow manages to find stereotypical- Tarzan clothing. Not to mention the ending, uggghhh. Unless it turned into a tv series or something (and there was no indication of that, when I watched it), it was pretty lame.

It was a trilogy of books, first. I read 'em a while ago. Started out interestingly enough, then got crappy. Dunno how faithful the TV adaptation was, but doesn't sound like it improved on the source material any.

JediMaster415 · Post by **JediMaster415** » 2005-11-26 12:23pm

Mark S wrote:As for read, I actually don't read that much scifi. For me it would be Deathstalker or whatever it was called. I know there are people who are into it but it was just so unoriginal and tried way too hard. It just pissed me off that the author tried to shove as many scifi standards in as he could think of. Evil empire, psycics, cyborgs, battle drugs, sword fights, vampires, werewolves, alien killer monsters, was that the kitchen sink that just flew past?

I'm currently reading the Deathstalker books. While the scifi standards that you just mentioned didn't put me off, the way Green wrote the books is what makes the books an effort to read. Nothing is subtle. He tells you every secret and doesn't let you try to figure it out on your own. He constantly restates things that should be remembered.

Right now, I'm reading Rebellion. He gives a summary in Chapter 5-8 of a raid that we read the entirity of in the first chapter. It gets annoying.

Deathstalker, right now, holds worst scifi read for me until I can figure out if Wingman by Mack Maloney is scifi.

Sidewinder · Post by **Sidewinder** » 2005-11-26 12:44pm

Guardsman Bass wrote:Read: I think no science fiction novel is as bad as The American Zone, by L. Neil Smith, a leading "Libertarian" Sci-Fi writer. The novel was absolutely hideous. It was done in the first person, but the plot was thread bare and obvious, and the whole book seemed to be just an excuse for L.Neil Smith to brag about his Libertopia.

The Army regularly gave us classes on sexual and racial discrimination, so soldiers wouldn't make an ass of themselves on CNN. One of them dealt with hate groups, and I was introduced to a novel called 'Serpents' Walk', by the nut-case who inspired Tim McVeigh to bomb the Oklahoma City Federal Building. It dealt with neo-Nazis infiltrating the US government, eventually taking over the US, and beginning a campaign of ethnic cleansing. The cover featured neo-Nazis in sci-fi armor with laser rifles. I didn't have time to read it, other than a blurb on the back cover, but the contents can't be any good.

Mobius · Post by **Mobius** » 2005-11-26 01:03pm

wasn't that the "Turner Diaries" from Andrew Mcdonald?

Sidewinder · Post by **Sidewinder** » 2005-11-26 01:40pm

Mobius wrote:wasn't that the "Turner Diaries" from Andrew Mcdonald?

Same author, different book.

Zor · Post by **Zor** » 2005-11-26 02:04pm

andrewgpaul wrote:
Guardsman Bass wrote:Seen: Does anybody remember a movie called Riverworld, that came on some time around when Children of Dune did? It was on the Sci-Fi channel, and was possibly the worst science fiction movie I've ever seen. It had an interesting premise (thousands of people from Earth are being resurrected, from all times in human history), and they squandered it with stupidities like the macho-Viking-ish society, the African Princess who, although appearing naked like the rest of the people, somehow manages to find stereotypical- Tarzan clothing. Not to mention the ending, uggghhh. Unless it turned into a tv series or something (and there was no indication of that, when I watched it), it was pretty lame.
It was a trilogy of books, first. I read 'em a while ago. Started out interestingly enough, then got crappy. Dunno how faithful the TV adaptation was, but doesn't sound like it improved on the source material any.

Just to let you know It actually WAS intended to be a TV show, though Sci-Fi pulled the Plug on it.

Zor

Guardsman Bass · Post by **Guardsman Bass** » 2005-11-26 04:39pm

Zor wrote:
andrewgpaul wrote:
Guardsman Bass wrote:Seen: Does anybody remember a movie called Riverworld, that came on some time around when Children of Dune did? It was on the Sci-Fi channel, and was possibly the worst science fiction movie I've ever seen. It had an interesting premise (thousands of people from Earth are being resurrected, from all times in human history), and they squandered it with stupidities like the macho-Viking-ish society, the African Princess who, although appearing naked like the rest of the people, somehow manages to find stereotypical- Tarzan clothing. Not to mention the ending, uggghhh. Unless it turned into a tv series or something (and there was no indication of that, when I watched it), it was pretty lame.
It was a trilogy of books, first. I read 'em a while ago. Started out interestingly enough, then got crappy. Dunno how faithful the TV adaptation was, but doesn't sound like it improved on the source material any.
Just to let you know It actually WAS intended to be a TV show, though Sci-Fi pulled the Plug on it.

Zor

Well, that's a relief (although if that was the pilot episode, it was still pretty idiotic, especially since it seems that Nero was to make a return).

Post by **NecronLord** » 2005-11-26 04:57pm

I just tried to hack my way through Agonybooth's review of Zardoz, and failed. It's that bad. Seriously now. Battlefield Earth pales in comparison.

Bounty · Post by **Bounty** » 2005-11-26 05:05pm

NecronLord wrote:I just tried to hack my way through Agonybooth's review of Zardoz, and failed. It's that bad. Seriously now. Battlefield Earth pales in comparison.

One page per day. I slogged throug it that way, and it's worth it - the review can't capture the total outlandishness, but it comes close.

Pick · Post by **Pick** » 2005-11-26 06:25pm

I'm going to have to support Zardoz as the craziest fucking thing ever. Nevertheless, I'm not sure if I'd call it the 'worst' since it was more confusing than it was an assault on my very being, like Battlefield Earth.

Adrian Laguna · Post by **Adrian Laguna** » 2005-11-26 06:59pm

Noble Ire wrote:Kikaider just makes me mad. I still get headaches when I think about the final episode. I can't believe I actually watched it's run.

Would that be Kikader the original or Adroid Kikaider - The Animation? Because I saw the latter and it kicked ass.

Elehlru Aran wrote:Alien Resurrection probably. There's no way to save that turd. Just... no.

I liked it, unlike the other movies I was actually able to watch it in its entirety. All the other movies I changed the channel within 5 minutes because I was too scared to continue watching. In one case I changed the channel before the Aliens showed up, the suspense was just too much.

That would be Alien Apocalypse

To give all of you an idea on just how bad this movie was. I have some very, very shallow tastes when it comes to movies. I'll like almost anything. If it has guns, explosions, and lots of shooting/hacking 'n slashing chances are that I'll like it. Furtheremore, without consious effort, my intelligence just defaults to "Off" as soon as the television goes on. I hated the little of Apocalypse that I saw, despite it having explosions and lots of hack 'n slash, and my intelligence (the tiny part of it that was active) felt insulted. It almost seemed like the producers were trying to make a horrid movie on purpose.

Noble Ire · Post by **Noble Ire** » 2005-11-26 08:31pm

Would that be Kikader the original or Adroid Kikaider - The Animation? Because I saw the latter and it kicked ass.

If by kicking ass, you mean it possessed a plot that was largely nonsensicle and repetative, combat scenes that were abrupt and un-interesting to the (sometimes literal) point of non-existance, and characters so confused and convoluded that they made Jar Jar Binks look like a tragic Shakespearean lead, then it did indeed kick ass.

Zor · Post by **Zor** » 2005-11-26 09:01pm

There's a sci-fi movie they play time to time on Space that i HATE. Basicly it's about a world were earth has been rendered unhabitable by war and what's left of humanity is frozen on a single orbital spacestation. A woman comes up with a plan to make habitable in the blink of an eye by using solar flares and the Hubble Space Telescope (i shit you not), then some guy desides to have a coup and blow up the Cryobay, takes over he is stopped and the world is saved by the Scientist, a Pool Player and the Generic Macho guy. Combined with the lowest end CGI i have ever seen, below The Last Starfighter in quality (and it was made in the ninties).

Wacthing it is like having your brain put through a sausage maker in slow mo.

Zor

Spanky The Dolphin · Post by **Spanky The Dolphin** » 2005-11-27 03:00am

Pick wrote:I'm going to have to support Zardoz as the craziest fucking thing ever. Nevertheless, I'm not sure if I'd call it the 'worst' since it was more confusing than it was an assault on my very being, like Battlefield Earth.

I find the fact that you've seen Zardoz to be incredibly amusing for some reason.

Lord Poe · Post by **Lord Poe** » 2005-11-27 04:50am

SEEN: "Cyborg", with Jean-Claude Van Damme, "Metalstorm: Adventures In The Forbidden Zone in 3-D", Alien 3, Alien 4, King Kong 1985.

READ: A multitude of Trek novels. For Star Wars, the ENTIRE "New Jedi Order", The Crystal Star, New Rebellion, Courtship of Princess Leia, Jedi Academy trilogy, Darksaber... maybe I should have listed the ones I liked!

As for other sci-fi, there was one that I just plodded through out of stubborness, because I thought it sounded cool from the back cover blurb: "Voice of the Whirlwind". Agggghh...

Nephtys · Post by **Nephtys** » 2005-11-27 05:05am

Worst Movie I've seen: The Final Sacrifice. Okay, so.. Rowsdower saves us by summoning a city that looks like Darth Vader's shadow. Um... what? MST3King made it awesome of course.
Worst Book: The 'Mars' Series. (Red Mars, Green Mars, Blue Mars). It's the story of preaching and nothing happening. Think Alpha Centauri's story novella that came with the game, only fracked up and sucky.
Worst Overall Plotline: Megaman X series. How many times can Sigma come back alive? Or all Reploids be threatened by maverick virus? X5 had the worst storyline imaginable, with some space colony called Eurasia falling to earth that can only be stopped if you find 4 hand-held components of something called Enigma, then repaired a space shuttle again using 4 hand held components... Oh what the hell. IT MADE NO SENSE!

Spanky The Dolphin · Post by **Spanky The Dolphin** » 2005-11-27 05:58am

The Final Sacrifice isn't sci-fi, though.

Try again.

Sidewinder · Post by **Sidewinder** » 2005-11-30 01:18am

Worst sci-fi movie I've ever seen would probably be John Carpenter's 'Ghosts of Mars'-- he should've known better than to plagiarize his own work, namely, 'The Thing'. (Sigh! How the mighty have fallen...)

Invictus ChiKen · Post by **Invictus ChiKen** » 2005-11-30 07:03am

Seen: Serenity. I walked out on this movie it sucked so bad. *Turns on my Flame shield*

Read: Does Left Behind count?

Guardsman Bass · Post by **Guardsman Bass** » 2005-11-30 11:30am

Sidewinder wrote:Worst sci-fi movie I've ever seen would probably be John Carpenter's 'Ghosts of Mars'-- he should've known better than to plagiarize his own work, namely, 'The Thing'. (Sigh! How the mighty have fallen...)

Oh, Good lord, how could I have forgotten? I think this, although not as bad as Riverworld (which is forgiveable, slightly, since it was just a pilot episode), is possibly one of the worst sci-fi movies I have ever seen. Battlefield Earth is infinitely better by comparison. Here's the stupidity of "Ghosts":

SPOILERS BELOW

1. They are investigating a town that stopped sending communications, but apparently they forgot that on the train ride over, so they act 'surprised' when the town is deserted.

2. They send the train off, in Major Plot Device #1. This, so that there is no way for them to easily escape, and they have to go through the ridiculous plot.

3. In spite of it being a matriarchal society, the male character doesn't seem to have any problems with continuously sexually harassing his female superior officer.

4. When they grab the main lady who opened the door, they don't force her to tell them what exactly she did, but seem content with her saying things like "We're fucked" and the like.

5. They have to give Ice Cube a macho-gun scene, so even though they know that when you kill a person with a ghost, the ghost just possesses someone else, he runs in with a gun in each hand, blasting away, and everybody follows for one helluva fight!

Now here's the number 1 reason why this movie sucked:

1. Ginormous Plot Device. Near the end of the movie, they obviously have to get rid of all the characters but Ice Cube and Natasha Henstridge, but everyone is on the train, and flooring it back to base to report. What to do? Well, naturally, Henstridge orders them to turn around, and go back to blow up the nuclear reactor in the colony. Once they are there, in order to kill off the minor characters, said minor characters all get out of the train to throw grenades, shoot, and fight hand-to-hand, meaning that they are all fodder for the flying, sharpened hubcaps. I was completely disgusted with the scene.

Gil Hamilton · Post by **Gil Hamilton** » 2005-11-30 11:39am

Read: Like many people, I have to go with Battlefield Earth. Seriously, there is no fucking reason that the book should be that ponderously long when the story finished half way though the story.

Plus, there are any number of Anne MacCaffery books that I've read a tenth of.

Watched: I think Signs. What a turdburger.

Oni Koneko Damien · Post by **Oni Koneko Damien** » 2005-11-30 06:29pm

*sighs*

I can't believe no one has mentioned this one yet:

Attack of the Neptune Men!

*shivers* How can you not love a movie that includes stock footage that has a building with A GIANT POSTER OF ADOLF HITLER on it being blown up?

Mike: So, do either of you guys know any songs about stock footage that could get us through this?

Tom Servo: Oh, I know a song about stock footage, it goes like this...duh duh duh duh duh duh...EAT IT, MOVIE! Take this stupid little cockroach of a film...roll it up soooo tight...and then ram it right up your...oh I can't take it anymore!

Read...

The Doom novels, past the second one.

Sorry, the game is about demons and portals to Hell, not deconstructionalist aliens that don't evolve.

SylasGaunt · Post by **SylasGaunt** » 2005-11-30 06:45pm

Is that the movie wish Space Chief?

"Hahahah.. your costume is ridiculous."

Post by **Vympel** » 2005-12-01 12:16am

Krull. God that movie sucked.

Post by **The Yosemite Bear** » 2005-12-01 12:43am

hey that had the flamethrower of LOVE!

the predicessor of the HAdoken