It was a trilogy of books, first. I read 'em a while ago. Started out interestingly enough, then got crappy. Dunno how faithful the TV adaptation was, but doesn't sound like it improved on the source material any.Guardsman Bass wrote:Seen: Does anybody remember a movie called Riverworld, that came on some time around when Children of Dune did? It was on the Sci-Fi channel, and was possibly the worst science fiction movie I've ever seen. It had an interesting premise (thousands of people from Earth are being resurrected, from all times in human history), and they squandered it with stupidities like the macho-Viking-ish society, the African Princess who, although appearing naked like the rest of the people, somehow manages to find stereotypical- Tarzan clothing. Not to mention the ending, uggghhh. Unless it turned into a tv series or something (and there was no indication of that, when I watched it), it was pretty lame.
Worst Sci-fi
Moderator: NecronLord
- andrewgpaul
- Jedi Council Member
- Posts: 2270
- Joined: 2002-12-30 08:04pm
- Location: Glasgow, Scotland
"So you want to live on a planet?"
"No. I think I'd find it a bit small and wierd."
"Aren't they dangerous? Don't they get hit by stuff?"
"No. I think I'd find it a bit small and wierd."
"Aren't they dangerous? Don't they get hit by stuff?"
- JediMaster415
- Padawan Learner
- Posts: 492
- Joined: 2004-07-25 10:47am
- Location: Virginia, USA
- Contact:
I'm currently reading the Deathstalker books. While the scifi standards that you just mentioned didn't put me off, the way Green wrote the books is what makes the books an effort to read. Nothing is subtle. He tells you every secret and doesn't let you try to figure it out on your own. He constantly restates things that should be remembered.Mark S wrote:As for read, I actually don't read that much scifi. For me it would be Deathstalker or whatever it was called. I know there are people who are into it but it was just so unoriginal and tried way too hard. It just pissed me off that the author tried to shove as many scifi standards in as he could think of. Evil empire, psycics, cyborgs, battle drugs, sword fights, vampires, werewolves, alien killer monsters, was that the kitchen sink that just flew past?
Right now, I'm reading Rebellion. He gives a summary in Chapter 5-8 of a raid that we read the entirity of in the first chapter. It gets annoying.
Deathstalker, right now, holds worst scifi read for me until I can figure out if Wingman by Mack Maloney is scifi.
- Sidewinder
- Sith Acolyte
- Posts: 5466
- Joined: 2005-05-18 10:23pm
- Location: Feasting on those who fell in battle
- Contact:
The Army regularly gave us classes on sexual and racial discrimination, so soldiers wouldn't make an ass of themselves on CNN. One of them dealt with hate groups, and I was introduced to a novel called 'Serpents' Walk', by the nut-case who inspired Tim McVeigh to bomb the Oklahoma City Federal Building. It dealt with neo-Nazis infiltrating the US government, eventually taking over the US, and beginning a campaign of ethnic cleansing. The cover featured neo-Nazis in sci-fi armor with laser rifles. I didn't have time to read it, other than a blurb on the back cover, but the contents can't be any good.Guardsman Bass wrote:Read: I think no science fiction novel is as bad as The American Zone, by L. Neil Smith, a leading "Libertarian" Sci-Fi writer. The novel was absolutely hideous. It was done in the first person, but the plot was thread bare and obvious, and the whole book seemed to be just an excuse for L.Neil Smith to brag about his Libertopia.
Please do not make Americans fight giant monsters.
Those gun nuts do not understand the meaning of "overkill," and will simply use weapon after weapon of mass destruction (WMD) until the monster is dead, or until they run out of weapons.
They have more WMD than there are monsters for us to fight. (More insanity here.)
Those gun nuts do not understand the meaning of "overkill," and will simply use weapon after weapon of mass destruction (WMD) until the monster is dead, or until they run out of weapons.
They have more WMD than there are monsters for us to fight. (More insanity here.)
- Sidewinder
- Sith Acolyte
- Posts: 5466
- Joined: 2005-05-18 10:23pm
- Location: Feasting on those who fell in battle
- Contact:
Same author, different book.Mobius wrote:wasn't that the "Turner Diaries" from Andrew Mcdonald?
Please do not make Americans fight giant monsters.
Those gun nuts do not understand the meaning of "overkill," and will simply use weapon after weapon of mass destruction (WMD) until the monster is dead, or until they run out of weapons.
They have more WMD than there are monsters for us to fight. (More insanity here.)
Those gun nuts do not understand the meaning of "overkill," and will simply use weapon after weapon of mass destruction (WMD) until the monster is dead, or until they run out of weapons.
They have more WMD than there are monsters for us to fight. (More insanity here.)
Just to let you know It actually WAS intended to be a TV show, though Sci-Fi pulled the Plug on it.andrewgpaul wrote:It was a trilogy of books, first. I read 'em a while ago. Started out interestingly enough, then got crappy. Dunno how faithful the TV adaptation was, but doesn't sound like it improved on the source material any.Guardsman Bass wrote:Seen: Does anybody remember a movie called Riverworld, that came on some time around when Children of Dune did? It was on the Sci-Fi channel, and was possibly the worst science fiction movie I've ever seen. It had an interesting premise (thousands of people from Earth are being resurrected, from all times in human history), and they squandered it with stupidities like the macho-Viking-ish society, the African Princess who, although appearing naked like the rest of the people, somehow manages to find stereotypical- Tarzan clothing. Not to mention the ending, uggghhh. Unless it turned into a tv series or something (and there was no indication of that, when I watched it), it was pretty lame.
Zor
HAIL ZOR! WE'LL BLOW UP THE OCEAN!
Heros of Cybertron-HAB-Keeper of the Vicious pit of Allosauruses-King Leighton-I, United Kingdom of Zoria: SD.net World/Tsar Mikhail-I of the Red Tsardom: SD.net Kingdoms
WHEN ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE ON EARTH, ALL EARTH BREAKS LOOSE ON HELL
Terran Sphere
The Art of Zor
Heros of Cybertron-HAB-Keeper of the Vicious pit of Allosauruses-King Leighton-I, United Kingdom of Zoria: SD.net World/Tsar Mikhail-I of the Red Tsardom: SD.net Kingdoms
WHEN ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE ON EARTH, ALL EARTH BREAKS LOOSE ON HELL
Terran Sphere
The Art of Zor
- Guardsman Bass
- Cowardly Codfish
- Posts: 9281
- Joined: 2002-07-07 12:01am
- Location: Beneath the Deepest Sea
Well, that's a relief (although if that was the pilot episode, it was still pretty idiotic, especially since it seems that Nero was to make a return).Zor wrote:Just to let you know It actually WAS intended to be a TV show, though Sci-Fi pulled the Plug on it.andrewgpaul wrote:It was a trilogy of books, first. I read 'em a while ago. Started out interestingly enough, then got crappy. Dunno how faithful the TV adaptation was, but doesn't sound like it improved on the source material any.Guardsman Bass wrote:Seen: Does anybody remember a movie called Riverworld, that came on some time around when Children of Dune did? It was on the Sci-Fi channel, and was possibly the worst science fiction movie I've ever seen. It had an interesting premise (thousands of people from Earth are being resurrected, from all times in human history), and they squandered it with stupidities like the macho-Viking-ish society, the African Princess who, although appearing naked like the rest of the people, somehow manages to find stereotypical- Tarzan clothing. Not to mention the ending, uggghhh. Unless it turned into a tv series or something (and there was no indication of that, when I watched it), it was pretty lame.
Zor
“It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not a weakness. That is life.”
-Jean-Luc Picard
"Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them."
-Margaret Atwood
-Jean-Luc Picard
"Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them."
-Margaret Atwood
- NecronLord
- Harbinger of Doom
- Posts: 27383
- Joined: 2002-07-07 06:30am
- Location: The Lost City
I just tried to hack my way through Agonybooth's review of Zardoz, and failed. It's that bad. Seriously now. Battlefield Earth pales in comparison.
Superior Moderator - BotB - HAB [Drill Instructor]-Writer- Stardestroyer.net's resident Star-God.
"We believe in the systematic understanding of the physical world through observation and experimentation, argument and debate and most of all freedom of will." ~ Stargate: The Ark of Truth
"We believe in the systematic understanding of the physical world through observation and experimentation, argument and debate and most of all freedom of will." ~ Stargate: The Ark of Truth
One page per day. I slogged throug it that way, and it's worth it - the review can't capture the total outlandishness, but it comes close.NecronLord wrote:I just tried to hack my way through Agonybooth's review of Zardoz, and failed. It's that bad. Seriously now. Battlefield Earth pales in comparison.
-
- Sith Marauder
- Posts: 3690
- Joined: 2005-01-06 12:35am
- Location: Oregon, the land of trees and rain!
I'm going to have to support Zardoz as the craziest fucking thing ever. Nevertheless, I'm not sure if I'd call it the 'worst' since it was more confusing than it was an assault on my very being, like Battlefield Earth.
"The rest of the poem plays upon that pun. On the contrary, says Catullus, although my verses are soft (molliculi ac parum pudici in line 8, reversing the play on words), they can arouse even limp old men. Should Furius and Aurelius have any remaining doubts about Catullus' virility, he offers to fuck them anally and orally to prove otherwise." - Catullus 16, Wikipedia
-
- Sith Marauder
- Posts: 4736
- Joined: 2005-05-18 01:31am
Would that be Kikader the original or Adroid Kikaider - The Animation? Because I saw the latter and it kicked ass.Noble Ire wrote:Kikaider just makes me mad. I still get headaches when I think about the final episode. I can't believe I actually watched it's run.
I liked it, unlike the other movies I was actually able to watch it in its entirety. All the other movies I changed the channel within 5 minutes because I was too scared to continue watching. In one case I changed the channel before the Aliens showed up, the suspense was just too much.Elehlru Aran wrote:Alien Resurrection probably. There's no way to save that turd. Just... no.
To give all of you an idea on just how bad this movie was. I have some very, very shallow tastes when it comes to movies. I'll like almost anything. If it has guns, explosions, and lots of shooting/hacking 'n slashing chances are that I'll like it. Furtheremore, without consious effort, my intelligence just defaults to "Off" as soon as the television goes on. I hated the little of Apocalypse that I saw, despite it having explosions and lots of hack 'n slash, and my intelligence (the tiny part of it that was active) felt insulted. It almost seemed like the producers were trying to make a horrid movie on purpose.That would be Alien Apocalypse
If by kicking ass, you mean it possessed a plot that was largely nonsensicle and repetative, combat scenes that were abrupt and un-interesting to the (sometimes literal) point of non-existance, and characters so confused and convoluded that they made Jar Jar Binks look like a tragic Shakespearean lead, then it did indeed kick ass.Would that be Kikader the original or Adroid Kikaider - The Animation? Because I saw the latter and it kicked ass.
The Rift
Stanislav Petrov- The man who saved the world
Hugh Thompson Jr.- A True American Hero
"In the unlikely story that is America, there has never been anything false about hope." - President Barack Obama
"May fortune favor you, for your goals are the goals of the world." - Ancient Chall valediction
Stanislav Petrov- The man who saved the world
Hugh Thompson Jr.- A True American Hero
"In the unlikely story that is America, there has never been anything false about hope." - President Barack Obama
"May fortune favor you, for your goals are the goals of the world." - Ancient Chall valediction
There's a sci-fi movie they play time to time on Space that i HATE. Basicly it's about a world were earth has been rendered unhabitable by war and what's left of humanity is frozen on a single orbital spacestation. A woman comes up with a plan to make habitable in the blink of an eye by using solar flares and the Hubble Space Telescope (i shit you not), then some guy desides to have a coup and blow up the Cryobay, takes over he is stopped and the world is saved by the Scientist, a Pool Player and the Generic Macho guy. Combined with the lowest end CGI i have ever seen, below The Last Starfighter in quality (and it was made in the ninties).
Wacthing it is like having your brain put through a sausage maker in slow mo.
Zor
Wacthing it is like having your brain put through a sausage maker in slow mo.
Zor
HAIL ZOR! WE'LL BLOW UP THE OCEAN!
Heros of Cybertron-HAB-Keeper of the Vicious pit of Allosauruses-King Leighton-I, United Kingdom of Zoria: SD.net World/Tsar Mikhail-I of the Red Tsardom: SD.net Kingdoms
WHEN ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE ON EARTH, ALL EARTH BREAKS LOOSE ON HELL
Terran Sphere
The Art of Zor
Heros of Cybertron-HAB-Keeper of the Vicious pit of Allosauruses-King Leighton-I, United Kingdom of Zoria: SD.net World/Tsar Mikhail-I of the Red Tsardom: SD.net Kingdoms
WHEN ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE ON EARTH, ALL EARTH BREAKS LOOSE ON HELL
Terran Sphere
The Art of Zor
- Spanky The Dolphin
- Mammy Two-Shoes
- Posts: 30776
- Joined: 2002-07-05 05:45pm
- Location: Reykjavík, Iceland (not really)
I find the fact that you've seen Zardoz to be incredibly amusing for some reason.Pick wrote:I'm going to have to support Zardoz as the craziest fucking thing ever. Nevertheless, I'm not sure if I'd call it the 'worst' since it was more confusing than it was an assault on my very being, like Battlefield Earth.
SEEN: "Cyborg", with Jean-Claude Van Damme, "Metalstorm: Adventures In The Forbidden Zone in 3-D", Alien 3, Alien 4, King Kong 1985.
READ: A multitude of Trek novels. For Star Wars, the ENTIRE "New Jedi Order", The Crystal Star, New Rebellion, Courtship of Princess Leia, Jedi Academy trilogy, Darksaber... maybe I should have listed the ones I liked!
As for other sci-fi, there was one that I just plodded through out of stubborness, because I thought it sounded cool from the back cover blurb: "Voice of the Whirlwind". Agggghh...
READ: A multitude of Trek novels. For Star Wars, the ENTIRE "New Jedi Order", The Crystal Star, New Rebellion, Courtship of Princess Leia, Jedi Academy trilogy, Darksaber... maybe I should have listed the ones I liked!
As for other sci-fi, there was one that I just plodded through out of stubborness, because I thought it sounded cool from the back cover blurb: "Voice of the Whirlwind". Agggghh...
- Nephtys
- Sith Acolyte
- Posts: 6227
- Joined: 2005-04-02 10:54pm
- Location: South Cali... where life is cheap!
Worst Movie I've seen: The Final Sacrifice. Okay, so.. Rowsdower saves us by summoning a city that looks like Darth Vader's shadow. Um... what? MST3King made it awesome of course.
Worst Book: The 'Mars' Series. (Red Mars, Green Mars, Blue Mars). It's the story of preaching and nothing happening. Think Alpha Centauri's story novella that came with the game, only fracked up and sucky.
Worst Overall Plotline: Megaman X series. How many times can Sigma come back alive? Or all Reploids be threatened by maverick virus? X5 had the worst storyline imaginable, with some space colony called Eurasia falling to earth that can only be stopped if you find 4 hand-held components of something called Enigma, then repaired a space shuttle again using 4 hand held components... Oh what the hell. IT MADE NO SENSE!
Worst Book: The 'Mars' Series. (Red Mars, Green Mars, Blue Mars). It's the story of preaching and nothing happening. Think Alpha Centauri's story novella that came with the game, only fracked up and sucky.
Worst Overall Plotline: Megaman X series. How many times can Sigma come back alive? Or all Reploids be threatened by maverick virus? X5 had the worst storyline imaginable, with some space colony called Eurasia falling to earth that can only be stopped if you find 4 hand-held components of something called Enigma, then repaired a space shuttle again using 4 hand held components... Oh what the hell. IT MADE NO SENSE!
- Spanky The Dolphin
- Mammy Two-Shoes
- Posts: 30776
- Joined: 2002-07-05 05:45pm
- Location: Reykjavík, Iceland (not really)
- Sidewinder
- Sith Acolyte
- Posts: 5466
- Joined: 2005-05-18 10:23pm
- Location: Feasting on those who fell in battle
- Contact:
Worst sci-fi movie I've ever seen would probably be John Carpenter's 'Ghosts of Mars'-- he should've known better than to plagiarize his own work, namely, 'The Thing'. (Sigh! How the mighty have fallen...)
Please do not make Americans fight giant monsters.
Those gun nuts do not understand the meaning of "overkill," and will simply use weapon after weapon of mass destruction (WMD) until the monster is dead, or until they run out of weapons.
They have more WMD than there are monsters for us to fight. (More insanity here.)
Those gun nuts do not understand the meaning of "overkill," and will simply use weapon after weapon of mass destruction (WMD) until the monster is dead, or until they run out of weapons.
They have more WMD than there are monsters for us to fight. (More insanity here.)
- Invictus ChiKen
- Jedi Council Member
- Posts: 1645
- Joined: 2004-12-27 01:22am
- Guardsman Bass
- Cowardly Codfish
- Posts: 9281
- Joined: 2002-07-07 12:01am
- Location: Beneath the Deepest Sea
Oh, Good lord, how could I have forgotten? I think this, although not as bad as Riverworld (which is forgiveable, slightly, since it was just a pilot episode), is possibly one of the worst sci-fi movies I have ever seen. Battlefield Earth is infinitely better by comparison. Here's the stupidity of "Ghosts":Sidewinder wrote:Worst sci-fi movie I've ever seen would probably be John Carpenter's 'Ghosts of Mars'-- he should've known better than to plagiarize his own work, namely, 'The Thing'. (Sigh! How the mighty have fallen...)
SPOILERS BELOW
1. They are investigating a town that stopped sending communications, but apparently they forgot that on the train ride over, so they act 'surprised' when the town is deserted.
2. They send the train off, in Major Plot Device #1. This, so that there is no way for them to easily escape, and they have to go through the ridiculous plot.
3. In spite of it being a matriarchal society, the male character doesn't seem to have any problems with continuously sexually harassing his female superior officer.
4. When they grab the main lady who opened the door, they don't force her to tell them what exactly she did, but seem content with her saying things like "We're fucked" and the like.
5. They have to give Ice Cube a macho-gun scene, so even though they know that when you kill a person with a ghost, the ghost just possesses someone else, he runs in with a gun in each hand, blasting away, and everybody follows for one helluva fight!
Now here's the number 1 reason why this movie sucked:
1. Ginormous Plot Device. Near the end of the movie, they obviously have to get rid of all the characters but Ice Cube and Natasha Henstridge, but everyone is on the train, and flooring it back to base to report. What to do? Well, naturally, Henstridge orders them to turn around, and go back to blow up the nuclear reactor in the colony. Once they are there, in order to kill off the minor characters, said minor characters all get out of the train to throw grenades, shoot, and fight hand-to-hand, meaning that they are all fodder for the flying, sharpened hubcaps. I was completely disgusted with the scene.
“It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not a weakness. That is life.”
-Jean-Luc Picard
"Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them."
-Margaret Atwood
-Jean-Luc Picard
"Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them."
-Margaret Atwood
- Gil Hamilton
- Tipsy Space Birdie
- Posts: 12962
- Joined: 2002-07-04 05:47pm
- Contact:
Read: Like many people, I have to go with Battlefield Earth. Seriously, there is no fucking reason that the book should be that ponderously long when the story finished half way though the story.
Plus, there are any number of Anne MacCaffery books that I've read a tenth of.
Watched: I think Signs. What a turdburger.
Plus, there are any number of Anne MacCaffery books that I've read a tenth of.
Watched: I think Signs. What a turdburger.
"Show me an angel and I will paint you one." - Gustav Courbet
"Quetzalcoatl, plumed serpent of the Aztecs... you are a pussy." - Stephen Colbert
"Really, I'm jealous of how much smarter than me he is. I'm not an expert on anything and he's an expert on things he knows nothing about." - Me, concerning a bullshitter
"Quetzalcoatl, plumed serpent of the Aztecs... you are a pussy." - Stephen Colbert
"Really, I'm jealous of how much smarter than me he is. I'm not an expert on anything and he's an expert on things he knows nothing about." - Me, concerning a bullshitter
- Oni Koneko Damien
- Sith Marauder
- Posts: 3852
- Joined: 2004-03-10 07:23pm
- Location: Yar Yar Hump Hump!
- Contact:
*sighs*
I can't believe no one has mentioned this one yet:
Attack of the Neptune Men!
*shivers* How can you not love a movie that includes stock footage that has a building with A GIANT POSTER OF ADOLF HITLER on it being blown up?
Mike: So, do either of you guys know any songs about stock footage that could get us through this?
Tom Servo: Oh, I know a song about stock footage, it goes like this...duh duh duh duh duh duh...EAT IT, MOVIE! Take this stupid little cockroach of a film...roll it up soooo tight...and then ram it right up your...oh I can't take it anymore!
Read...
The Doom novels, past the second one.
Sorry, the game is about demons and portals to Hell, not deconstructionalist aliens that don't evolve.
I can't believe no one has mentioned this one yet:
Attack of the Neptune Men!
*shivers* How can you not love a movie that includes stock footage that has a building with A GIANT POSTER OF ADOLF HITLER on it being blown up?
Mike: So, do either of you guys know any songs about stock footage that could get us through this?
Tom Servo: Oh, I know a song about stock footage, it goes like this...duh duh duh duh duh duh...EAT IT, MOVIE! Take this stupid little cockroach of a film...roll it up soooo tight...and then ram it right up your...oh I can't take it anymore!
Read...
The Doom novels, past the second one.
Sorry, the game is about demons and portals to Hell, not deconstructionalist aliens that don't evolve.
Gaian Paradigm: Because not all fantasy has to be childish crap.
Ephemeral Pie: Because not all role-playing has to be shallow.
My art: Because not all DA users are talentless emo twits.
"Phant, quit abusing the He-Wench before he turns you into a caged bitch at a Ren Fair and lets the tourists toss half munched turkey legs at your backside." -Mr. Coffee
Ephemeral Pie: Because not all role-playing has to be shallow.
My art: Because not all DA users are talentless emo twits.
"Phant, quit abusing the He-Wench before he turns you into a caged bitch at a Ren Fair and lets the tourists toss half munched turkey legs at your backside." -Mr. Coffee
- SylasGaunt
- Sith Acolyte
- Posts: 5267
- Joined: 2002-09-04 09:39pm
- Location: GGG
Krull. God that movie sucked.
Like Legend of Galactic Heroes? Please contribute to http://gineipaedia.com/
- The Yosemite Bear
- Mostly Harmless Nutcase (Requiescat in Pace)
- Posts: 35211
- Joined: 2002-07-21 02:38am
- Location: Dave's Not Here Man