A versus scenario that might give Trek a miniscule chance...

Plushie · Post by **Plushie** » 2005-12-01 09:52pm

God, being particularly bored one day, decides that the myriad of universes he has created or overseen the creation of are no longer as entertaining as they once were. He decides to fool around by mixing and matching. After a while of doing so, he runs across the general GE versus UFP scenario. Realizing that the curbstomp thereof wouldn't be too fun to watch, he decides to make things interesting:

Every member of the Imperial armed forces, including droids, that plays a role in the invasion spontaneously finds his hands tied behind his back -- literally. A piece of Magic-Deity-String (tm) wraps itself around his or her wrists. It is impossible to break this string, it does not burn, you cannot remove it in any way. It can stand up to a direct hit from the second death star's superlaser. Not even the force can effect it.

How do things go?

Post by **Ghost Rider** » 2005-12-01 09:57pm

Just moving to OT. This is a joke topic and really, the only difference is to show how absolutely mind boggling bad one needs to go to level the field, in any respect.

Zor · Post by **Zor** » 2005-12-01 10:26pm

HA! Just send in automated ships which lack wrists, man them with cripples who tragicly lost there second hand in accedents, tank drones, Geneticly modified humans which have feet that can be used as hands, or simply have them put under anesthetic, remove the hand after being bonded and replace it with a new one or e send in aliens with radial symmetry which don't have backs.

Zor

aerius · Post by **aerius** » 2005-12-01 11:05pm

If the Imperial ships have voice command, then business as usual and the Feds still get reamed.

Uraniun235 · Post by **Uraniun235** » 2005-12-02 01:11am

There's obviously going to be a lot of broken noses amongst bridge crews.

Starfleet shits itself and surrenders. Then some smartass captain decides to try going back in time to "save the Federation", only to accidentally cause a paradox which rips apart the space/time continuum... fortunately, as predicted by a 20th century researcher, the destruction was merely a localized event, confined to the Milky Way galaxy.

Drooling Iguana · Post by **Drooling Iguana** » 2005-12-02 01:58am

The wrist-less Astromech droids rise up to rule both galaxies! All hail Emperor Artoo!

Sriad · Post by **Sriad** » 2005-12-02 02:00am

Prosthetics technology in Star Wars is pretty much perfect. I forsee some medics putting in serious overtime, and then things proceeding exactly as you'd expect.

Lusankya · Post by **Lusankya** » 2005-12-02 08:57am

Sriad wrote:Prosthetics technology in Star Wars is pretty much perfect. I forsee some medics putting in serious overtime, and then things proceeding exactly as you'd expect.

Except for one problem. How would the medics put prosthetics on their patients with their hands tied behind their backs?

Bounty · Post by **Bounty** » 2005-12-02 09:02am

Except for one problem. How would the medics put prosthetics on their patients with their hands tied behind their backs?

Every member of the Imperial armed forces, including droids, that plays a role in the invasion

Plastic surgeons appear to be excluded.

If the Imperial ships have voice command, then business as usual and the Feds still get reamed.

Do they ? It seems a bit un-Imperial...

EDIT : the voice command, not the reaming

Shroom Man 777 · Post by **Shroom Man 777** » 2005-12-02 09:12am

Astromechs don't really have arms, they can do it

Time to conscript all those tentacled aliens out there.

Elheru Aran · Post by **Elheru Aran** » 2005-12-02 09:14am

Bounty wrote:
Except for one problem. How would the medics put prosthetics on their patients with their hands tied behind their backs?

Every member of the Imperial armed forces, including droids, that plays a role in the invasion
Plastic surgeons appear to be excluded.

Plastic surgeons, yes; however, the replacement of limbs does not fall under such a category. That, one presumes, would be the function of any battlefield MASH unit-- after they stabilize the wounded, they then bring him back up to spec and send him out if possible, or send him to the rear for further care.

What I see happening is one of the medics, bright boy that he is, ordering a FX to extend his amputation saw, bust off the arm of a Too-onebee, which then releases the FX with its free hand; the droids then work upon the rest of the medical personnel once 2-1B gets his hand welded back on. Simple as that, and the humans don't even have to lose hands... just a few droids at most.

PunkMaister · Post by **PunkMaister** » 2006-02-04 10:08pm

Uraniun235 wrote:There's obviously going to be a lot of broken noses amongst bridge crews.

Starfleet shits itself and surrenders. Then some smartass captain decides to try going back in time to "save the Federation", only to accidentally cause a paradox which rips apart the space/time continuum... fortunately, as predicted by a 20th century researcher, the destruction was merely a localized event, confined to the Milky Way galaxy.

Yes Dr Emmet Brown!

Einhander Sn0m4n · Post by **Einhander Sn0m4n** » 2006-02-04 10:14pm

Hey, Punkasshole, Thread Necromancy is extremely bad for the health. Watch yourself, you may get Banhammered...

Uraniun235 · Post by **Uraniun235** » 2006-02-04 11:39pm