Atheists and Hell

SLAM: debunk creationism, pseudoscience, and superstitions. Discuss logic and morality.

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Drooling Iguana
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Post by Drooling Iguana »

LadyTevar wrote:
gizmojumpjet wrote:
Qwerty 42 wrote:Using Mark 10:19 as a basepoint, shouldn't atheists be even closer to getting to heaven than theists? After all, theists are doing the right thing to get into heaven, seculars are doing it because it's the right thing to do.
In Christianity, you don't have to "do the right thing," i.e. obey the commandments, in order to get into Heaven. Doing the right thing is encouraged, but it's by no means required.
To pull out my bad Baptist Minister quote:
"Ye *MUST* be Born Again, brothersandsisters. Ye *MUST* have been washed in that Blood, the Blood of the Lamb who laid down His life for you."

Hate to admit it, but most sermons that I recall (those I didn't sleep thru) mention nothing about 'doing the right thing' getting you anywhere.
Wait, isn't Jesus' blood represented by wine?

Explains a lot, really...
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Post by Jesus Christ »

My child, Enola, thou shouldst know that Hell is the entertainment district of the 'afterlife' and thy Lord God was locked up because he is a raving loon who no one wanted to be associated with.
In thy prayers, can thou please remind thy Lord to get some milk on the way home from work.
And the Lord sayth unto you "Stop bloody praying to me, I dont want to hear about your problems, arsehole!"

re above: The new Pope is an arsehole.
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Post by Jesus Christ »

Darth Wong wrote:On the other hand, if God is as much of a prick as he seems to be in the Bible, being cut off from him may not be so bad.
Thou hast that right, my son. Maximum security lunacy asylum.
Satan was kicked out of Heaven for defying God and as far as I know, he never petitions to be let back in.
Heaven is the 'bible belt' district of the afterlife, and is full of holier-than-thou pricks. Hell is the nightlife district across 15 planes of existance.
Satan didnt get kicked out, he just wanted a life, my son.
And the Lord sayth unto you "Stop bloody praying to me, I dont want to hear about your problems, arsehole!"

re above: The new Pope is an arsehole.
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Post by Lusankya »

And there we have it, and from a highly reputable source, too.

I bow to your wisdom, Jesus.


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Sephirius
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Post by Sephirius »

I wonder if the fallen angels do any recruiting?
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Post by Guardsman Bass »

Hell almost sounds kind of appealing if you think about it. All the really strange, interesting people from throughout history will be down in the lake of fire. You could have some truly fascinating debates.
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Darth Servo
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Post by Darth Servo »

LadyTevar wrote:
gizmojumpjet wrote:
Qwerty 42 wrote:Using Mark 10:19 as a basepoint, shouldn't atheists be even closer to getting to heaven than theists? After all, theists are doing the right thing to get into heaven, seculars are doing it because it's the right thing to do.
In Christianity, you don't have to "do the right thing," i.e. obey the commandments, in order to get into Heaven. Doing the right thing is encouraged, but it's by no means required.
To pull out my bad Baptist Minister quote:
"Ye *MUST* be Born Again, brothersandsisters. Ye *MUST* have been washed in that Blood, the Blood of the Lamb who laid down His life for you."

Hate to admit it, but most sermons that I recall (those I didn't sleep thru) mention nothing about 'doing the right thing' getting you anywhere.
Baptists and other "Saved by Gracers" love to wank over Ephesians 2:8-9 as if its the only verse in the Bible. :wanker:
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Post by speaker-to-trolls »

Darth Wong wrote:On the other hand, if God is as much of a prick as he seems to be in the Bible, being cut off from him may not be so bad. Satan was kicked out of Heaven for defying God and as far as I know, he never petitions to be let back in.
Satan's as proud as his dad (or almost), so I wouldn't take his lack of asking forgiveness to be an indication that hell isn't that bad a place. He could be having an absolutely miserable time but doesn't want to give the old bastard the satisfaction of hearing him admit defeat.
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Post by wolveraptor »

You have to remember that what modern theologions say is pulled directly from their ass. If you're going to accept one aspect of the Bible as true, you might as well listen to the rest, fire, brimstone and all, instead of random priests. After all, it's not like the Bible is just a collection of ramblings, right?
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Post by Oni Koneko Damien »

Brother-Captain Gaius wrote:Hades is lame. We should make Baator! I call Mephy.
Perhaps my D&D lore is a bit off, but I thought Mephy only had control over the frozen wastes of Cania.

In any case, I'm throwing my dice in with Lucifer.

Oh, and if there's zombies in Hell *gets out the titanium crowbar*, I'm so in.
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