Can the Trekkies get any more desperate?

Kane Starkiller · Post by **Kane Starkiller** » 2005-12-24 08:25pm

Ok we all know that Trekkies will use wathever far fetched theory that will help their case however the latest gem from strek-v-swars puts many of these to shame. Instead of trying to describe the theory I'll just paste it here:

BigHairyMountainMan wrote:Since I'm going to be - as usual - excessively busy in the next couple days with RL, I'd like to ask everybody to be on their best behavior, and chew on a little present I'm going to leave you.

SOD. Everything must be taken seriously, no? As if documentary footage, no? And as we all know... Star Trek: First Contact is canon.

As we all know, the Millenium Falcon was operated by Starfleet along with at least 22 other vessels of varying size during an urgent attempt to stop a second Borg assault on Sol III and Starfleet's center of operations.

By far the smallest vessel identified in the battle by a factor of 16-50, the use of the Falcon, apparently retrieved from a wormhole opened after the battle at Endor in ROTJ, cannot fail to be controversial. The use of fightercraft against the Borg is rare. However, the implications of its presence are many and crystal clear.

The Falcon was known to be armed with turbolasers and concussion missiles, both visually distinct from any weapon used by either Borg or Federation. Neither were noted to have any appreciable effect on the Borg during this battle; we must thus conclude that either:
The weapons' effects were too small to be seen onscreen during the chaotic battle, and their potency limited in comparison.

Or:
The Federation upgraded the Falcon's weapons to Federation standards, using the small and innocuous freighter, most likely as a short-flight missile boat.
In the 6 years portrayed subsequent to First Contact, and therefore the minimum amount of time after Starfleet has had access to hyperdrive technology, Starfleet has yet to mention or investigate hyperdrive, even when considering methods of bringing back wayward Voyager.

As even partially functional transwarp and quantum slipstream drive technology can be rendered mostly functional by the crew of a small destroyer in the middle of nowhere in a matter of a few weeks, it would appear thus that Starfleet sees no reason to develop hyperdrive, having had
a fully functional Star Wars vessel on hand for at least six years, and probably more, given it is unlikely that the Falcon was sent into combat against the Borg before the fleet geeks at Utopia Planitia had put it back together after examining it for any and all possible developments.

The logical conclusion, therefore, is that hyperdrive is no real improvement over warp drive. However, we may observe a distinct lack of nacelles on the Falcon; if Starfleet is operating the Falcon as a scout vessel or disguised covert operations vehicle, they have not seen fit to replace the hyperdrive motivator with a warp drive. Thus, hyperdrive is probably "good enough" for a large oblate shuttle (miniature freighter).

The Falcon's sublight maneuverability appears to be on par with the other Starfleet vessels; it is possible that impulse engines have been installed, or that the original ion thrusters suffice in this case.

Nevertheless, Starfleet clearly considers the hull quite reasonably functional - good enough to pitch it into battle against the Borg, albeit as part of a last-ditch effort.

In case you couldn't be bothered with reading, he is using the Millenium Falcon easter egg from First Contact to "prove" that Federation technology is better than Imperial.

OmegaGuy · Post by **OmegaGuy** » 2005-12-24 09:25pm

WTF? The Falcon doesn't have turbolasers.....

LongVin · Post by **LongVin** » 2005-12-24 09:33pm

Does anyone have a picture of this Easter Egg?

FedRebel · Post by **FedRebel** » 2005-12-24 10:17pm

Why? It's extemely small and very blurry, that coupled with the fact that we only see it for a fraction of a second, should by strek's logic 'prove' that Wars ships are far faster

LongVin · Post by **LongVin** » 2005-12-24 10:27pm

I just wanted to see a pic because I saw the movie a bunch of times and never noticed it before. I want to see what I'm missing without having to waste 3 dollars renting the DVD

General Zod · Post by **General Zod** » 2005-12-24 10:49pm

LongVin wrote:I just wanted to see a pic because I saw the movie a bunch of times and never noticed it before. I want to see what I'm missing without having to waste 3 dollars renting the DVD

There was a thread where someone posted pics of it, but the image in question doesn't seem to be there anymore. Try checking Google, maybe?

apocolypse · Post by **apocolypse** » 2005-12-24 10:53pm

I'm thinking that BHMM is trying to show how SoD can be taken to an extreme. At least, I'm hoping so, but knowing him I may be incorrect. This wouldn't be the first time this has happened though, they tried doing the same thing over at SB for a minute.

Stygian · Post by **Stygian** » 2005-12-25 01:33am

I just watched the entire battle sequence 10+ times, in slow motion and zoomed. In one tiny split second sequence it looks as if it might be the rear of the Falcon, but it doesn't give any inclinkling that it actually has any other features besides a white line crossing the screen. I'll see if I can cap a screenshot.

WarScarab · Post by **WarScarab** » 2005-12-25 01:59am

*snicker* This is a joke! I mean the man has to be just deadpan joking! Well at least I thought it was pretty funny, so I hope that was his intent

.

General Zod · Post by **General Zod** » 2005-12-25 02:11am

A little bit of Googling reveals this

LongVin · Post by **LongVin** » 2005-12-25 02:46am

Damn. Seriously that just looks like a blob.

Bounty · Post by **Bounty** » 2005-12-25 03:26am

I'm pretty much certain he's joking.

And the Falcon easter egg was indeed never confirmed onscreen - it was someone from ILM who said it was there, but it's pretty much unrecognisable.

Post by **Gandalf** » 2005-12-25 03:49am

There's some funky stuff if you start looking at the real minutiae, especially the Okudagrams. If they're canon, the Trekverse will look downright ridiculous at times.

Dartzap · Post by **Dartzap** » 2005-12-25 04:23am

The hell? in the last picture it looks far more like an Akira than anything else

you can just make out some federation-type necceles on it, so I somehow doubt thats the Falcon

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2005-12-25 05:37am

The problem with immediately classifying it as a joke is that it's really not much dumber than a typical strek-v-swars post. Some of the completely serious posts you see quoted from there are just as bad if not worse.

In a normal population of reasonably well-educated people one would immediately laugh this off as a joke, but coming from that crew?

Kane Starkiller · Post by **Kane Starkiller** » 2005-12-25 06:16am

About this being a joke, yes when I first read the post I wasn't really sure it wasn't a joke myself. However the responses made by other Trekkies are dead serious. And even the opening post seems simply too elaborate to be just a joke.

Mange · Post by **Mange** » 2005-12-25 11:09am

I'm pretty sure that BigHairyMountainMan intended this as a joke. I think that Darkstar's latest thread about the probe droid in TESB is worse:

+http://www.strek-v-swars.net/phpBB2/vie ... hp?p=21178

Wyrm · Post by **Wyrm** » 2005-12-25 02:17pm

Kane Starkiller wrote:About this being a joke, yes when I first read the post I wasn't really sure it wasn't a joke myself. However the responses made by other Trekkies are dead serious. And even the opening post seems simply too elaborate to be just a joke.

I agree with the Swede. The straight-laced treatment of inherently silly subject matter is a classic comedy device.

BigHairyMountainMan wrote: I warned you this was coming...

This is the last bit you neglected to quote, Starkiller, and to me makes all the difference. He's notationally donning his Sunglasses of Utter Cool +1, and saying, "Gotcha!"

Drooling Iguana · Post by **Drooling Iguana** » 2005-12-25 04:18pm

Besides, even if we take that Easter Egg as canon, it only proves that Starfleet has a ship that looks like the Millenium Falcon.

Solauren · Post by **Solauren** » 2005-12-25 04:22pm

Probably somebody just pimped out there defiant class

Manus Celer Dei · Post by **Manus Celer Dei** » 2005-12-25 07:14pm

Didn't one of the SW comics have the Enterprise floating around in the background? You could use that to prove the same thing in favour of the Empire.

Instant Sunrise · Post by **Instant Sunrise** » 2005-12-25 07:25pm

Supposedly, there is a cameo of the Voyager and Ent-E on Coruscant in TPM. But I haven't seen any screens of it to confirm.

Drooling Iguana · Post by **Drooling Iguana** » 2005-12-25 08:49pm

The species of alien that Leia disguises herself as in RotJ also made a few appearances in DS9.

Plushie · Post by **Plushie** » 2005-12-25 08:55pm

Mange the Swede wrote:I'm pretty sure that BigHairyMountainMan intended this as a joke. I think that Darkstar's latest thread about the probe droid in TESB is worse:

+http://www.strek-v-swars.net/phpBB2/vie ... hp?p=21178

This man has it. BHMM said he might do this someday a while ago and said it in a very joking tone "Someday I'm going to take the MF Cameo and run with it and then everyone will know what pain means" or something like that.

He's actually not quite as large an idiot as most of the people there, the only thing that really bothers me about him is his assertion that ISDs aren't a mile long and A-Wings are about as big as two men standing on each other.

Stark · Post by **Stark** » 2005-12-25 11:09pm

I consider BHMM one of the WORST posters on SWvsST - and that's really saying something.