British forced-marriage extraction team

[Bertie Wooster]

Team rescues women from forced marriages British arrange escapes from unhappy situations in Pakistan, immersing themselves in clashing cultures, personal traumas

Punjab Province, Pakistan -- Almost free, the young woman dashed breathlessly through the sleepy Pakistani village. She bolted down a sandy lane, her green dress streaming behind her, toward a waiting jeep.

A British diplomat clutching her hastily packed suitcase trailed behind. Last into the vehicle was a bodyguard, a pistol concealed beneath his suit. The doors slammed shut, and the jeep sped off, weaving around donkeys, tractors and a gaggle of curious children.

The 21-year-old Englishwoman sat tensely in the back, staring out the window. Then a flood of words poured out.

"I'm so embarrassed. I'm really scared. I've never done anything like this before," she babbled nervously. "But I had no choice."

In the remote hamlet disappearing into the rearview mirror, the frail-looking woman said, she had been beaten, threatened at gunpoint and forced to marry a stranger.

"I can't trust my family, never again,'' she said. "Next time, they could kill me."

Even now, she still fears retribution and agreed to be interviewed on condition that her name and the place where her relatives live not be printed.

Every year, hundreds of young Western women return to their parents' homeland in Pakistan for a vacation that starts innocently and ends in the ordeal of forced marriage. Most victims come from Britain, which has a long history of immigration from Pakistan, with a few more from northern Europe and a handful from the United States.

Typically, the woman, usually between 18 and 24, visits her cousins for a summer break, to see an ailing relative or to celebrate a cousin's wedding. But as weeks stretch into months, her passport "goes missing," and her return flight is canceled. Mysterious suitors appear on her relatives' doorstep. There is excited talk of marriage.

A sour truth dawns on the woman: The only wedding being planned is her own.

There seems to be no escape. Women cannot move about easily in small-town Pakistan, and male cousins watch her every movement.

But there is one hope for the victims. British diplomats in Pakistan, faced with a flood of forced marriages, have formed a diplomatic team to rescue the unwilling brides from their country cousins and whisk them to safety.

The initiative plunges British officials into a complex world of clashing cultures and personal traumas.

Jon Turner, a mild-mannered consular official in the capital, Islamabad, is part of the four-person team, which carried out 105 rescues last year.

"We will do whatever it takes to get them out," he said.

A relative or boyfriend in Britain often sounds the alarm, he said. Days or weeks of secretive preparations follow, usually through whispered cell phone conversations or furtive text messages, until the rescue date is arranged.

Local police are recruited to provide backup, and an armed guard from the embassy comes along. The element of surprise is crucial, he said, to prevent relatives from shooing the woman out the back door. Finally, Turner's team knocks on the door.

What follows is a wrenching experience for everyone, he admits. Flustered relatives plead with the girl to stay, often resorting to emotional blackmail.

"They say, 'Your father will have a heart attack,' 'Your mother will commit suicide,' or 'You will bring dishonor to our family.' "

The victim is often torn between relief at being rescued and remorse at betraying her family.

"They almost always feel guilty," Turner said. "That's why we try to make it quick."

Afterward, the woman is rushed to Islamabad, where she is lodged at a refuge run by Struggle for Change, a Pakistani women's organization. The diplomats provide an emergency passport and the plane fare home and later drive her to the airport.

Other Western embassies in Pakistan are carefully monitoring the British program. The U.S. consul general in Islamabad, Zandra Flemister, said her officials had dealt with just three cases since March. The women had to make their way to the capital, but the embassy provided emergency travel papers and repatriation loans. Security was a major concern, she said. In one case, a victim who feared abduction by relatives was lodged in the fortified U.S. Embassy compound.

The rescue in Punjab province was relatively straightforward. An hour later, the whippet-thin young woman sat in a cafe in eastern Pakistan, eating a cheeseburger and savoring her freedom.

She blamed her troubles on her father -- a Pakistani-born taxi driver in a northern English town who she said was "a bit old-fashioned."

"He didn't like English clothes," she said. "He burned my jeans once. He didn't like girls going out and about."

Most of all, he didn't like her boyfriend, a British Pakistani whom he considered to be of the wrong caste. So in February, her father sent her on a five-week vacation to her cousin's house in eastern Punjab. By June, she found herself married to a 23-year-old local architect.

Married life was a disaster. Her husband's family was scandalized by her refusal to sleep with him. "It was like living as strangers," she said. "I used to sleep in the house; he was on a bed outside. I think he used to count the stars."

Finally, she told her husband that she was in love with someone else. Retribution was swift.

Her father, who had stayed on in Pakistan to see that the marriage worked out, and her uncle beat her brutally, demanding to know the address of her boyfriend in Britain.

"They say, 'Watch what we will do to him; we will break his legs,' " she recalled.

Her uncle ordered her to surrender her cell phone. When she refused, he pulled a gun.

"He pointed it at my head. He says, 'You don't deserve to live.' I started crying and told him I had thrown the phone away,'' she said. "Then my dad came in and hit me some more. But still I gave them nothing."

She hid the phone in a bag of sanitary napkins. "They wouldn't dream of looking in there," she said, smiling.

Three months later, she was spirited away after her boyfriend contacted the British Home Office and passed her contact information to British authorities in Islamabad.

Three days later, Turner escorted her to the airport. Casting aside her Pakistani clothes, she wore jeans and a T-shirt. When she landed in the British Midlands 12 hours later, her boyfriend was waiting at the gate.

"I couldn't wait for the plane to land. It was wonderful," she said in a phone interview several weeks later.

Forced marriage is quite different from arranged marriage, a valued tradition in South Asia. In a typical arranged marriage, parents help their son or daughter choose a suitable life partner -- often along lines of class, education or wealth -- but leave the ultimate decision to the would-be spouse. In forced marriage, however, the woman has no say.

The problem is widespread, said Khalida Salimi of Struggle for Change. "This is a patriarchal society where women and children are considered the possessions of men."

Efforts by Struggle for Change to open up a debate on the issue have met with stiff and sometimes violent resistance. A Struggle for Change driver helping a couple to elope from the city of Rawalpindi was abducted and badly beaten. One victim being helped by the organization had her nose, tongue and hair chopped off by her own family, Salimi said.

Even for those who escape, like the young woman rescued in Punjab, starting life anew -- often cut off from family and with little financial support -- is not easy. In a phone interview, she said her estranged Pakistani husband was refusing to grant her a divorce, and she was seeking legal advice.

And after the initial elation, her relationship with her boyfriend was coming under pressure.

"It's all messed up," she said despondently. "His mother doesn't approve of me because I'm a runaway girl.''

Although she had escaped forced marriage, she still felt torn between two cultures 4,000 miles apart.

"Pakistan is hard. Being here is hard," she said with a sigh. "No matter what I do, someone seems to be hurt."

While I applaud Britain's efforts in helping these poor women, I'm more shocked that the problem of women visiting their relatives and being abducted and forced into marriage is so prevalent. It's kidnapping and very close to sex-slavery, in my opinion. Again, I admire the British Governenments efforts to deal with this problem instead of turning a blind-eye, like I would expect most governments would do.

[SirNitram]

Armed embassy guards... The fucking Ghurkas?!

Or more likely the Royal Marines. But whether it's Booties or kukris, I feel no pity for the assholes they're up against.

[Admiral Valdemar]

The FCO looks after its own. And that means British citizens. SIS is able to call upon any and all force if necessary, so getting a few HM gov't bodyguards and Gurkhas is no problem.

This is a good move, but I am shocked at that annual figure. I knew forced marriages in this country were bad enough. I never knew that this treachery took place abroad and was so prevalent now.

[Agent Fisher]

Did anyone else picture a SWAT team busting down doors and grabing the girl from out of a closet, and having to hogtie the relatives, when they saw the thread title?

But seriously, good on the brits.

[brianeyci]

This is why I don't get people who are proud of "tradition" and to a lesser extent "culture." What really pisses me off is people going "oh, in my country" or people asking what I am. I'm here, that means I'm probably Canadian, and I find people asking me "so what are you" a rather racist question. Although I shouldn't, it seems an innocent enough question, but lately I've taken to answering with "I'm Canadian." The best answer there is, but it's a conversation stopper like no other. I don't give a shit about my ethnicity or my culture or my racial roots. The usual connotation is that you're a traitor, denying your past, that the past has to have some hold on you... I don't give a flying fuck about my past in terms of race or what country my parents come from and I don't think perfect strangers should ask that as a first question.

Tradition and culture almost always means exclusion or elitism, and that's a fucking load of shit. Or worse, like in this case, backwards thinking and treating other human beings like shit because of their sex/race/clothes/hairstyle/look/manner/sexuality/purple feet.

Did anyone else picture a SWAT team busting down doors and grabing the girl from out of a closet, and having to hogtie the relatives,

Worse, I imagined a British armored vehicle breaking down the doors to a mansion and a hundred extended family members (because traditional families allwaaaaays treat blood as thicker than water, that's another thing that pisses me off) struggling with Royal Marines until the dad brought out an AK-47 and the Marine looks like a young Sir Alec Guiness that points his rifle at the dad and stares him down shaft style.

Brian

[Solauren]

Such a wonderfully, forward thinking people, some of those the Pakastanians.

"Look, a female relative from outside the country is here! Time to marry her off!"

I'd love to see the faces of those types of people if the girl turned and said; "Dad will heart attack, mom will suicide, and I'll dishonor the family? GOOD!"

[Agent Fisher]

Did anyone else picture a SWAT team busting down doors and grabing the girl from out of a closet, and having to hogtie the relatives,

Worse, I imagined a British armored vehicle breaking down the doors to a mansion and a hundred extended family members (because traditional families allwaaaaays treat blood as thicker than water, that's another thing that pisses me off) struggling with Royal Marines until the dad brought out an AK-47 and the Marine looks like a young Sir Alec Guiness that points his rifle at the dad and stares him down shaft style.

Brian

Actually, now I am picturing something just like that commerical for SOCOM: US Navy SEALS III, where the Hummvee drives up to a shack, the Seals pile out, kick down the door, grab some guy, get him back in to the hummvee, drive off, while the guy on the .50 Cal is just spraying the bad guys. And it ends with the words Sunday Drive.

[Admiral Valdemar]

Such a wonderfully, forward thinking people, some of those the Pakastanians.

"Look, a female relative from outside the country is here! Time to marry her off!"

I'd love to see the faces of those types of people if the girl turned and said; "Dad will heart attack, mom will suicide, and I'll dishonor the family? GOOD!"

The correct term is Pakistanis, FYI.

I can only picture something akin to CO19 busting a middle-class house in town, but even that is odd given they're suited bodyguards and likely have a couple of Commandos on standby.

[Darth Wong]

But ... it's their traditional definition of marriage!

[SirNitram]

But ... it's their traditional definition of marriage!

And this is the traditional definition of a guerilla raid and extraction!

[tharkûn]

'They have their customs and we have ours' Here's to British cultural imperialism.

[Jawawithagun]

I'd love to see the faces of those types of people if the girl turned and said; "Dad will heart attack, mom will suicide, and I'll dishonor the family? GOOD!"

"If such a little thing dishonours the whole family then this honour can't be worth much to start off with, eh?"

[Einhander Sn0m4n]

'They have their customs and we have ours' Here's to British cultural imperialism.

Here's to the Brits looking after their own citizens, wherever they may be. I see nothing imperialist about rescuing someone from something they were forced into.

[tharkûn]

Here's to the Brits looking after their own citizens, wherever they may be. I see nothing imperialist about rescuing someone from something they were forced into.

But they are not letting her family follow their traditional culture and are forcing them to follow British culture by not treating their daughter like chattal.

[SirNitram]

'They have their customs and we have ours' Here's to British cultural imperialism.

Here's to the Brits looking after their own citizens, wherever they may be. I see nothing imperialist about rescuing someone from something they were forced into.

Oh, it's Imperialist. The difference is it's Imperialism practiced competently and for the betterment of the people, not going on YEEHAW ADVENTURES of conquest.

[weemadando]

I think that this is the best news story I've read this week.

[Jadeite]

Here's to the Brits looking after their own citizens, wherever they may be. I see nothing imperialist about rescuing someone from something they were forced into.

But they are not letting her family follow their traditional culture and are forcing them to follow British culture by not treating their daughter like chattal.

I've never been a believer in the idea of "every culture is equal".

[darthdavid]

Here's to the Brits looking after their own citizens, wherever they may be. I see nothing imperialist about rescuing someone from something they were forced into.

But they are not letting her family follow their traditional culture and are forcing them to follow British culture by not treating their daughter like chattal.

I've never been a believer in the idea of "every culture is equal".

I'm pretty sure he was being facetious...

[Admiral Valdemar]

He was.

[weemadando]

To my eyes he's reading a man trying to establish a parallelbetween this and the invasion of Iraq for use as a means to discredit his (many and varied) opponents arguments in future threads by referencing to their views in this one.

[weemadando]

Or am I merely being too paranoid around our resident right-wing-whack-a-loon?

[Illuminatus Primus]

To my eyes he's reading a man trying to establish a parallelbetween this and the invasion of Iraq for use as a means to discredit his (many and varied) opponents arguments in future threads by referencing to their views in this one.

Do you have anything useful to contribute outside of dedicated attacks on a particular poster's person? Do you ever actually analyze anything? What the fuck are you good for?

Where have you seen him laud the invasion of Iraq as a good thing, or draw parallels like this before in the name of justification? I haven't. Or is it just you, the liberal, is fabricating bullshit to smear someone of differing ideology? Perish the thought.

Maybe if you took the time to think you'd know "you have your customs and we have ours" is a reference to the British hanging of men who tried to enforce the widow-burnings during the British occupation.

[Nephtys]

Here's to the Brits looking after their own citizens, wherever they may be. I see nothing imperialist about rescuing someone from something they were forced into.

But they are not letting her family follow their traditional culture and are forcing them to follow British culture by not treating their daughter like chattal.

I've never been a believer in the idea of "every culture is equal".

Every culture is 'equal' until the point where they actually physically or emotionally harm someone. At that point, the Brits show us that said culture is no match for a raid with machine guns.

Hats off to the Limeys.

[Edward Yee]

I personally think that it's being a tad bit too paranoid.

I've actually seen this story (excerpted) a while back, but not in this much detail -- meaning (in my mind) that the Brits have been at this for a while now! Good show!

Now if only we Americans had this...

(re: castes -- what the hell??? If the Pakistanis in question are I-assume Muslim and not Hindu, then how the hell is the dad even gonna say "the b/f is wrong caste"??)

[Edward Yee]

(SOMEONE PLEASE EDIT THIS OUT, but my first line was re: weemadando)