Who, What and where

[Capsaicin]

NAME: Capsaicin
TITLE: EXECUTOR

PLEDGE: To mercilessly crush insignificant peons with my iron fist.

BRIBES: Your souls.

[SirNitram]

Name: Sir Nitram.
Title: First among the Black Mages, Tyrant of Fantasy, Trollhunter.
Planet: Cybertron.

Pledge: CRUSH, KILL, BURN!

Bio: Survivor of Netheril, all those seeking more meet horrible deaths involving their skins being flayed off and their skulls being mounted.

Bribes: Ask my wife first. She gets annoyed when harem girls show up unannounced.

[LadyTevar]

Name: LadyTevar
Title: The WhiteMage, True Ruler of the BlackMages, Mother Confessor of ARSE
Planet: ... when'd we move the Manor to Cybertron?! NIT!

Pledge: To keep Nitram in line. Unless you piss me off, then you'll see why ALL the BlackMages fear me.

Bribes: Chocolate is my addiction. Imported from Belgium if you really want my favor. All Bribes to Nitram have to go through my approval first. Do not send harem girls, sex slaves, or other gifts of women. They'll just get you my Undivided Attention, and Nitram will never know they were there.

[Publius]

NAME: Publius
TITLE: Concerned Citizen
PLANET: Skaro

BIO: There are persistent rumors that this Senator is in some way associated with the Ubiqtorate. This is absurd, of course; the Ubiqtorate does not exist.

BRIBE: That's silly, of course. This Senator is Incorruptible.

[Stravo]

Name: Stravo
Title: Governer and Official SD.NET Teller of Tales
Planet: Fanfic Confederacy

Pledge: Keep the masses entertained with a tale without end.

Bribes: Women. Lots and Lots of women.

[Stuart Mackey]

Name: Stuart Mackey
Title: Drunken Kiwi editor of the ASVS Press.
Represents: Member for the Fourth Estate.

Pledge: To be the leader and trend setter in hack journalism and provide text book examples of media corruption and distortion of events to suit my own ends.

Bribes: You cannot bribe me. But if you do try I will take everything you own anyway, and your reputation, and make a fortune from the story of your corruption and manifestly immoral life.

[NecronLord]

NAME: The Lord of Necrons, NecronLord to associates, Necron to friends
TITLE: Imperial Praetor and Governor of the Occupied Territories of the Former-Romulan Empire.
REPRESENTS: The Emperor's Will and Authority.

PLEDGE: As a governor of a non-citizen province, my 'electorate' has no choice in my appointment, or how much I tax them, thus my pledge is a simple one. You will obey my dictats completely, or face a full punishment, under the wide discresionary powers available to Imperial Governors. You will find me firm but resolute - and perhaps ruthless.

BIO: Out of the tomb it crept...

BRIBES: Large business deals, exclusive development of industries in the occupied zones. Coutesans of both genders are of course, acceptable, subject to examination.

[fgalkin]

NAME: fgalkin
TITLE: His Most Drunken Highness Knyaz of the Vodka Bottle
REPRESENTS: The Motherland

PLEDGE: I will use the Senate to crush my enemies on the board, see them driven before me, and hear the lamentation of their women (and/or men, and /or right/left hands). I will do so nicely.

BRIBES: Women, booze, and cash.

Have a very nice day.
-fgalkin

[Surlethe]

NAME: Surlethe
TITLE: Big Badass Starship & Mathematician-in-Training
REPRESENTS: Knights Astrum Clades, non-Government Rep.; Grand Atheist Conspiracy, Christian Division; Jr. Imperial Senator from the League of Abstract Mathematics.

PLEDGE: I do hereby pledge to uphold those laws in which I have an interest, confuse the peons with abstract mathematics, and deliver bigger, more badass weapons to the military.

BIO: A starship the size of a star, my origins are lost in the mists of time, as all records have been thoroughly destroyed by ensuing cataclysms. I exist as a testament to bigness and badassery, not to mention wank-chafed technology.

BRIBES: I can't be bribed, but sex and money will never hurt your cause.

[Gil Hamilton]

NAME: Gil "The Arm" Hamilton
TITLE: Tispy Space Birdie and Robot Devil
REPRESENTS: The SD.net Clown College and Bordello

PLEDGE: I do solemnly swear to never have a stick up my arse and use my vast command of trivia to crush fools.

BRIBES: Sex, drugs, and rock n' roll. And more sex, but this time with delicious candy. Should someone use that chocolate shell stuff to make Hershey Kiss Nipples and flash their boobs at me, that would be super.

[Sonnenburg]

NAME: Chuck Sonnenburg
TITLE: Keeper of rules, Writer of things, Maker of funny
REPRESENTS: The Borg

PLEDGE: To faithfully uphold the needs of cyborgs, androids, robots, isomorphs, self-aware computers, and sentient instruments of mass destruction. Especially the women.

[Spyder]

NAME: Spyder
TITLE: Worst K1 Fighter Ever
REPRESENTS: The "Pew pew, I shot you, yes I did, NO YOU SHUT UP!" Brigade

PLEDGE: To ensure that all persons applicable come to the understanding that their place within our combined sphere of influence maintains a unique importance when viewed in the context one's own influences and in contrast to the influences of those in proximity. Important and influential aspects maintained by rigorous pragmatism can lead to an indivisible wealth of that which can be described in anyway orthodox.

There are some that may be hesitant, or possibly even resistant to the views expressed herein but let me remind you that change is part of a natural and inevitable process that can only be controlled for so long before certain values within the system become totally irrelevant. Lack of progress can be attributed to many issues resulting from anomalies (systemic in nature) that have developed through a process of rigorous, almost dogmatic, promotion of classical ideas and approxiations.

Instintually, one might consider the plight of those caught within the complex development of our higher ideals. Just when it seemed as though our standards could finally be set in stone, the psychological need for greater exposition has become clear. In other times, such needs would be admonished and dismissed by an otherwise generous target audience.

I can not stress enough, the dangers of magical thinking.

When we look back on what we have accomplished, one must begin to wonder; will any of this be remembered? It is now time to put our preparations to work. The foundations have been laid for what some might consider our finest moment, our greatest hour. The details evade most, this is by design.

The time has come to reveal the otherwise indescribible tennets of the unorthodox approach taken by many to solve the problems associated with the increasingly large base of undermined administrative issues that have arrisen within recent times.

We're at the end now. Thank you for your time.

[InnerBrat]

NAME : IB
TITLE : Great and Mighty Kittenfoot of Velvet*
PLANET : Terra-that-doesn't-ever-could-have-been-maybe

PLEDGE : To occasionally return to the board and lord it over everyone and act like I'm the greatest person ever. And post pics.

BIO : Once a child. Then a geek. Then a student. And then a geek again. And then Arr Pee ate my soul and now I'm a (dundunDUN) Fangirl *gasp*

BRIBES : Shinies. Underwear. And sexy pin-up models.


*never let your girlfriend choose your Imperial title

[Hotfoot]

Name: Hotfoot
Title: Avatar of Confusion, the Absent-Minded God.
Represents: Hideous perversions of Stargate that will scar your mind.

Pledge: To serve my God and our people. Without understanding, you will understand.

Bribes: If you embrace the madness, you know what to do.

[Noble Ire]

Name: Noble Ire
Title: Arbiter of Benefaction; Vice Chair of the Ministry of Justice
Represents: The Grand Atheist Cabal, North Galactic Division

Pledge: The law is meant to change. Let the innocent find shelter in mercy, and the guilty find nothing in precedent.

Bribes: The blood of my enemies. And the occasional Yoo-hoo.

[Simplicius]

Name: Simplicius
Title: Latecomer to Threads
Represents: People, mostly.

Pledge: To extend to my friends the limp, moist handshake of peace and to my foes the big, knobbly fist of war. Chickens in every pot and cars in every garage are optional - SEE Bribes.

Bribes: This Senator would love to be incorruptible, but just can't afford it.

[K. A. Pital]

NAME: Stas Bush
TITLE: Senator, Glamorous Commie, HAB Soviet Resident
REPRESENTS: Cyborgs of the Motherland

PLEDGE: Salus Homo Suprema Lex

BRIBES: Energy to run

[Tiriol]

NAME: Tiriol
TITLE: Senator, Most Esteemed Member of the Holy Order of the Karelian Brigade
REPRESENTS: All the downtrodden clerks, accountants and possibly even board members

PLEDGE: To faithfully follow the rules as laid down by the Emperor and his represantives and act in the finest capacity possible of a Senator; and if not possible, go out in a style.

BRIBES: One turnip (hang on, I don't want to price myself out of the market).