The SDN Beard Challenge. Step up, Man-girls.

Chardok · Post by **Chardok** » 2006-01-03 09:57pm

This may involves some sacrifice on some of your parts. But, show you are a man, and DO IT.

I hereby challenge ALL comers in a BEARD-GROWING DEATHMATCH!

This will determine the ultimate SDN macho mountain manly man. All those MACHO enough to attempt this must meet certain requirements:

Rule #1.

You must start the competition clean-shaven. No facial hair at all. Like a baby's ass, people.

Rule #2.

No hair tonics/rogaine/etc. Maybe it works, maybe it doesn't, I don't care. No augmentations at all.

Rule the third.

The competition, if there is one, will begin Friday, January 6th at 12:00 AM EST (Late friday night, not early Friday morning.) You must commit to shaving by that time and be clean faced.

Rule #4.

The contest will end in roughly 2 months. March 7th, or until we drop out because we are sissies.

Rule #5.

Trimming is allowed. After all, some of us have to remain professional, despite our aspirations of mountain man-ism

Rule#6.

If you must drop out (Military requirement, professional obligation, etc.) Your most recently used picture will still be eligible in the final judgement to be held on March 7th in a vote by the general population

Rule #7.

You will post a picture every two weeks of your progress.

Winner will be declared SDN Manly macho mountain man and retain said title until someone else declares a challenge.

Interested?

A-Wing_Slash · Post by **A-Wing_Slash** » 2006-01-03 10:09pm

I'd sign up, but regrettably I will not be a macho mountain manly man for a few years now.

Temjin · Post by **Temjin** » 2006-01-03 10:12pm

I'd love to join up, but (1) I like my current goatee (2) Little eight year old girls have stronger facial hair than me.

Post by **Dalton** » 2006-01-04 12:25am

Sorry, I'd normally jump at the chance but my girlfriend loves the beard.

CaptainChewbacca · Post by **CaptainChewbacca** » 2006-01-04 01:34am

Dalton wrote:Sorry, I'd normally jump at the chance but my girlfriend loves the beard.

Dalton's got a girlfriennnnnd!

I'd participate, but I really don't want to shave right before I start work. Mid-growth beard doesn't look professional.

Post by **Lagmonster** » 2006-01-04 08:06am

I'd whoop all your asses and keep going, but I have little hair on top of my head, and bald men with big beards look like hillbillies, whereas bald men that are clean shaven or have tight goatees look like sexy badasses. Reputation, don't you know.

Chardok · Post by **Chardok** » 2006-01-04 08:38am

Buncha Slack-jawed @#$%(*'s in here! This contest'll turn you into a sexual tyrannosaur.

Just like me.

Scared of a little shave and regrow. BAH!

Oh, be careful on your way out to work, today, ladies, I don't want any of you to get your tutus dirty. Try not to break a nail and enjoy your lean cuisine savory herb and garlic chicken lunches. How about a Tab? Would you ladies like a Tab?How about we meet up for lunch and cruise the mall? Go window shopping? We can hit Bed Bath and Beyond and get some o' that purdy smelling body spray? Maybe Melon and Cucumber? Hmm? that pretty enough for you?

Me? Come with? Oh, no thank you, I have Beef Jerky to eat. Oh, and me and other men Are going to go hunting and dig a big hole. Also, we're going to build stuff. and grow a beard. And watch football. You little girls go play with your barbies, now. Buh bye.

Manus Celer Dei · Post by **Manus Celer Dei** » 2006-01-04 09:25am

I've been growing mine for almost a year now and don't really want to shave after that, otherwise I would certainly enter.

Mrs Kendall · Post by **Mrs Kendall** » 2006-01-04 11:15am

Chardok I think rule number 1 is killing all of your competition. If you haven't figured it out by now, Cpl Kendall will refuse until he's blue in the face to start all over again. Despite him knowing I don't like it

Try and change some of the rules and you may have people participating

Zac Naloen · Post by **Zac Naloen** » 2006-01-04 11:26am

i do it if i could grow more than a goatee.. unfortunately my facial hair growth is limited by my non-manliness

Spanky The Dolphin · Post by **Spanky The Dolphin** » 2006-01-04 11:49am

I just shaved off my Jesus Christ Superstar beard yesterday, and I generally shave every one to four weeks, simply because after a while I can't stand it any longer. So I will have to decline.

aerius · Post by **aerius** » 2006-01-04 12:06pm

I would love to join, but there's a slight problem, the problem being I CAN'T GROW A FUCKING BEARD AND I'M 26!!!! I thought I saw a whisker on my chin the other day but it was just an illusion.

That NOS Guy · Post by **That NOS Guy** » 2006-01-04 12:42pm

But I like my Gendo beard

Can't I just grow it out (it's kept pretty damn close for obvious grooming reasons) into something like Edward Bates?

Post by **Dalton** » 2006-01-04 01:03pm

Ya know, Chardok, you really are an asshole.

Temjin · Post by **Temjin** » 2006-01-04 03:10pm

Chardok, you do realize that most of the people saying they can't join already have beards, unlike some "other' people? Like the one running this contest for instance?

Chardok · Post by **Chardok** » 2006-01-04 03:15pm

Temjin wrote:Chardok, you do realize that most of the people saying they can't join already have beards, unlike some "other' people? Like the one running this contest for instance?

Oh, I'm sorry, Ma'am, did I ruffle your bonnet?

Temjin · Post by **Temjin** » 2006-01-04 03:21pm

Yes! And it took me hours to get it just right!

General Zod · Post by **General Zod** » 2006-01-04 03:37pm

Seeing that I can't grow much more than a goatee, and lack a digital camera, unfortunately I'll have to pass. Despite rigorously shaving facial hair sans the goat every couple of days, I've never been able to get anything resembling a thick beard going.

Gil Hamilton · Post by **Gil Hamilton** » 2006-01-04 03:58pm

I have to admit, Chardok, it really did sound like you channelled R. Lee Ermey there.

Civil War Man · Post by **Civil War Man** » 2006-01-04 04:31pm

Sorry, but my beard will only be removed, even with the intent of growing it back, when you rip it from my cold, dead face.

Tinkerbell · Post by **Tinkerbell** » 2006-01-04 04:56pm

Chardok wrote:Scared of a little shave and regrow. BAH!

Oh, be careful on your way out to work, today, ladies, I don't want any of you to get your tutus dirty. Try not to break a nail and enjoy your lean cuisine savory herb and garlic chicken lunches. How about a Tab? Would you ladies like a Tab?How about we meet up for lunch and cruise the mall? Go window shopping? We can hit Bed Bath and Beyond and get some o' that purdy smelling body spray? Maybe Melon and Cucumber? Hmm? that pretty enough for you?

Me? Come with? Oh, no thank you, I have Beef Jerky to eat. Oh, and me and other men Are going to go hunting and dig a big hole. Also, we're going to build stuff. and grow a beard. And watch football. You little girls go play with your barbies, now. Buh bye.

Sigged.

Edit: Well, as much as I could...

Mrs Kendall · Post by **Mrs Kendall** » 2006-01-04 04:58pm

Oops, you need to fix that sweety

Post by **Surlethe** » 2006-01-04 05:37pm

You know, Chardok, if you'd gotten this on the road last Tuesday, I might have joined, because I had a badass scruffy man-beard. However, I shaved it. Damn, though, back in the day, my beard, in all its glory, could hold up multiple pencils stuck through it. If I still had it, you'd worship the might of my man-beard.

2000AD · Post by **2000AD** » 2006-01-04 06:41pm

Dang it, this comes at completely the wrong time. I've already grown one over winter to keep the cold off.

This will require some pondering.

Joe · Post by **Joe** » 2006-01-04 06:57pm

I'd give it a shot but I may have to do job interviews.