The SDN Beard Challenge. Step up, Man-girls.

YT300000 · Post by **YT300000** » 2006-01-04 06:57pm

Chardok wrote:Buncha Slack-jawed @#$%(*'s in here! This contest'll turn you into a sexual tyrannosaur.

Just like me.

Tell you what, I'll take up your challenge for one week. I tried growing it out not too long before, and it itched too much and drove me crazy, so I shaved it back off after one week. Also, I get the most brutal razor burn afterwards.

You're going to win, but I can't turn down a challenge, so here goes nothing. I can start the day after tomorrow (the 6th).

Losonti Tokash · Post by **Losonti Tokash** » 2006-01-04 07:30pm

Sadly, my family lacks the ability to grow beards. It's a trade off for not having wisdom teeth, I imagine. Now, if we were growing mustaches, on the other hand, I'd gladly embarrass myself for no good reason.

The Spartan · Post by **The Spartan** » 2006-01-04 08:01pm

I'm not shaving my beard to regrow it for a contest Chardok! Are you daft?

There's a little girl whose heart would be broken if I shaved it off! "Uncle Mawk! No go! Stay me!" will become, "NOWAAAYYYY!!" When I try to give her a hug.

Oh, and for the record I do get my cologne at that place in the mall that you misnamed (and it's actually a masculine odor not Melon Rain or whatever). I also hunt and watch football and can cook on my own damn self so that I don't have to eat beef jerky. Then I eat venison jerky just to be contrary. And grow beards on a nightly basis. I'm that manly!

Post by **Broomstick** » 2006-01-04 08:58pm

Chardok wrote:Buncha Slack-jawed @#$%(*'s in here! This contest'll turn you into a sexual tyrannosaur.

A sexy dead fossil???

Scared of a little shave and regrow. BAH!

Nope. Hand me that "Lady Bic Weedwacker for Legs", willya?

Try not to break a nail

Hey! You sexist pig!

and enjoy your lean cuisine savory herb and garlic chicken lunches.

I represent that remark. (Gotta watch that weight and balance, must be careful not to exceed maximum take-off weight

)

How about a Tab? Would you ladies like a Tab?

Actually, in my household it's the man who drinks the Tab...

How about we meet up for lunch and cruise the mall? Go window shopping? We can hit Bed Bath and Beyond and get some o' that purdy smelling body spray? Maybe Melon and Cucumber? Hmm? that pretty enough for you?

Chadok... I think you'd smell lovely in Melon and Cucumber. Or maybe the "Mixed Berry". Be sure to get the stuff with aloe and E, all that yelling is hard on the facial skin and you wouldn't want to wrinkle prematurely.

Oh, no thank you, I have Beef Jerky to eat.

That's for pussies. Try venison jerky or buffalo jerky. (Available at Gander Mountain. MmmmMMMMmmMMmMMMmMmmmeeeeeeat. YUM!)

You little girls go play with your barbies, now. Buh bye.

I believe my comments about Barbie wound up in the FUQ. You may wish to read them there.

You know, Chardok, I'd join your little contest, except:
1) You don't have a "Ladies' Category", you sexist pig

2) My sexuality is questioned enough, thank you.
3) It would be very hard to explain the goatee to my employer... although not for the usual reasons
4) It would make many of the men here feel inadequate

YT300000 · Post by **YT300000** » 2006-01-04 09:16pm

The Spartan wrote:I'm not shaving my beard to regrow it for a contest Chardok! Are you daft?

There's a little girl whose heart would be broken if I shaved it off! "Uncle Mawk! No go! Stay me!" will become, "NOWAAAYYYY!!" When I try to give her a hug.

Oh, and for the record I do get my cologne at that place in the mall that you misnamed (and it's actually a masculine odor not Melon Rain or whatever). I also hunt and watch football and can cook on my own damn self so that I don't have to eat beef jerky. Then I eat venison jerky just to be contrary. And grow beards on a nightly basis. I'm that manly!

Thank you, Chuck Norris.

And Broomstick:

Post by **weemadando** » 2006-01-04 10:23pm

Well, I shaved yesterday and made myself look as clean and nice as possible:

Then yesterday I watched 8 episodes of the first season of Miami Vice and Die Hard as well as cursing the name of god and drinking a four bottles of whiskey while playing a high stakes poker game. Result:

The Spartan · Post by **The Spartan** » 2006-01-04 10:33pm

YT300000 wrote:
The Spartan wrote:And grow beards on a nightly basis.
Thank you, Chuck Norris.

And Broomstick:

For what it's worth, the part I left above is the only bit I exaggerated at all.

Oni Koneko Damien · Post by **Oni Koneko Damien** » 2006-01-05 12:20am

Hon, I'm just this side of being female myself, growing a beard would kind of ruin the fun.

Metatwaddle · Post by **Metatwaddle** » 2006-01-05 05:09am

Okay, I vote that we FUQ Broomstick's entire post.

Post by **Surlethe** » 2006-01-05 12:29pm

Discombobulated wrote:Okay, I vote that we FUQ Broomstick's entire post.

And weemadando's.

Mrs Kendall · Post by **Mrs Kendall** » 2006-01-05 12:53pm

Yes they were both very funny

YT300000 · Post by **YT300000** » 2006-01-05 01:46pm

What really strikes me is that the only one who accepted this challenge - and even then only for a week - is me, a 16 year old. I guess that means the rest of us don't respect you enough, Chardok.

Col. Crackpot · Post by **Col. Crackpot** » 2006-01-05 02:04pm

and on the wierd comsic wavelength, the TNG episode where Data grows a beard just started on Spike TV as i read this thread. spooky.

omg! Chardok controls the matrix!

Chardok · Post by **Chardok** » 2006-01-05 02:12pm

Col. Crackpot wrote:and on the wierd comsic wavelength, the TNG episode where Data grows a beard just started on Spike TV as i read this thread. spooky.

omg! Chardok controls the matrix!

YT300000 · Post by **YT300000** » 2006-01-05 02:16pm

Ah, screw it, I'm starting today. Too much light for a proper photograph, but it shows off my smooth pearly skin.

EDIT: Your turn, "mountain man."

2000AD · Post by **2000AD** » 2006-01-05 02:19pm

Bugger it, tommorow i'll shave the beard off and join the challenge.

Chardok · Post by **Chardok** » 2006-01-05 02:33pm

SWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET!

Illuminatus Primus · Post by **Illuminatus Primus** » 2006-01-05 07:05pm

I'm Hispanic and can't grow thick facial hair. So a beard is impossible. Yeah fuck you.

Mad · Post by **Mad** » 2006-01-05 07:40pm

I'd probably look stupid in a beard. How about a Best Stubble contest?

YT300000 · Post by **YT300000** » 2006-01-05 08:47pm

Mad wrote:I'd probably look stupid in a beard. How about a Best Stubble contest?

Well, that's basically what I'm doing, since, as I've said, I'm cutting out in a week.

2000AD · Post by **2000AD** » 2006-01-06 08:58am

OK, here we go:

Pre-shave

Batman foils my plans again, GRRRRR!!!!

Post-shave:

Casualties of war:

EDIT: Is it me or does my face look chubbier without the beard?

2000AD · Post by **2000AD** » 2006-01-06 09:01am

weemadando wrote:Pic of ZZ-Top

YOu know the most ironic thing about ZZ-Top? The guy in the band whose last name is Beard doesn't have one.

Chardok · Post by **Chardok** » 2006-01-06 09:19am

Excellent, will post my piccys tonight!

Ace Pace · Post by **Ace Pace** » 2006-01-06 09:22am

I can't join, due to the fact my beard growing skills resemble a first timers, which I am.

2000AD · Post by **2000AD** » 2006-01-07 09:23am

Come on Chardok, you set up this thing.