Grizzly Man documentary - bears are fucking DANGEROUS

[Adrian Laguna]

You know, I grew up with teddy bears (hell I still have mine, it's exactly 1 meter away from me) and Yogi Bear and stuff. However, one look at a real bear and it's "Dear God, I'm so glad there is a deep pit and a fence between us." Seriously, do people see the claws and teeths on those thing? Not to mention the muscles, a human can kill you using only his arms and legs. One look at a bear and it should be obvious that it can kill you with a one-handed bitch-slap.

[Elfdart]

I believe Kodiaks are the only ones bigger than grizzly brown bears and that polar bears are probably even worse.

Guess this guy could've done with that anti-grizzly suit.

The brown bears of the far north are the biggest. This includes the Kodiak and Kamchatka bears and the other giants. Polar bears are usually smaller (though they still weigh over half a ton). Then the other brown bears like the grizzly and the various Eurasian ones. Then the black ones.

As far as big cats go, I'm talking about when people encounter them in their normal habitats, not gay magicians who put their heads in tigers' mouths in Las Vegas, not drug dealers or others who regard them as pets or guard animals and not even zookeepers or animal control/ rescue-types. People who engage in any of these things are just asking to end up being turned into a big lump of lion shit.

Since only the last group (zookeepers and animal control/ rescue) have any legitimate reason to go near these animals, I say screw the others. Snake handlers, rattlesnake roundups, alligator wrestlers and others who play Russian roulette with Mother Nature also get what they deserve. Fuck 'em.

[Elfdart]

You know, I grew up with teddy bears (hell I still have mine, it's exactly 1 meter away from me) and Yogi Bear and stuff. However, one look at a real bear and it's "Dear God, I'm so glad there is a deep pit and a fence between us." Seriously, do people see the claws and teeths on those thing? Not to mention the muscles, a human can kill you using only his arms and legs. One look at a bear and it should be obvious that it can kill you with a one-handed bitch-slap.

Are you kidding? There are people who try to play with rabbits (wild or domestic) and act surprised when the little bunny rips them a new one with their claws. My older brother had a brown rabbit ("Thumper" -how original!) he used to carry around like a baby back when he was 5 years old. My uncle bought a grey one for my cousin. She wanted a brown one and my brother agreed to swap (since the real Thumper was grey anyway). My uncle made the mistake of not picking up my brother's bunny like a baby and that little brown rabbit seriously fucked him up. It slashed his arms, chest, forehead, and uniform. He was the laughingstock of the Navy in Norfolk.

[Mr Bean]

When I go fishing in Alaska, the guys at the weir always keep a shotgun loaded with buckshot to scare off any bears that approach their cabin. They used to be able to just fire them into the air, but now the bears have gotten to the point that they aren't scared of the noise, anymore, so they have to shoot the ground in front of the bear. Pretty soon they'll have to start shooting the bears--which won't kill them but it might scare them off.

Give them a strong hint to have something abit large on hand besides the shotgun if instead of scaring them off it pisses them off. Most cabins won't stop a 600 pound pissed of brown bear.

[Flagg]

You know, I grew up with teddy bears (hell I still have mine, it's exactly 1 meter away from me) and Yogi Bear and stuff. However, one look at a real bear and it's "Dear God, I'm so glad there is a deep pit and a fence between us." Seriously, do people see the claws and teeths on those thing? Not to mention the muscles, a human can kill you using only his arms and legs. One look at a bear and it should be obvious that it can kill you with a one-handed bitch-slap.

Are you kidding? There are people who try to play with rabbits (wild or domestic) and act surprised when the little bunny rips them a new one with their claws. My older brother had a brown rabbit ("Thumper" -how original!) he used to carry around like a baby back when he was 5 years old. My uncle bought a grey one for my cousin. She wanted a brown one and my brother agreed to swap (since the real Thumper was grey anyway). My uncle made the mistake of not picking up my brother's bunny like a baby and that little brown rabbit seriously fucked him up. It slashed his arms, chest, forehead, and uniform. He was the laughingstock of the Navy in Norfolk.

I got you one better, I had a nieghbor who actually managed to catch a squirrel with his bare hands that he wanted to keep as a pet. Before the dumbass even got 2 steps with the squirrel in his hands that little fucker actually pierced the webbing between his right thumb and forefinger and held on to his forearm with its claws while pissing all over him.

[Elfdart]

Some day people will realize that there's only a tiny number of animals that can be domesticated and they've already been domesticated. The others should be left alone when possible. I can't help but laugh when some rich putz decides to open a bison ranch, thinking he can handle them like cattle. They might as well hold a bonfire of $100 bills. The only ones who "succeed" are those who essentially turn their lands into game preserves like Ted Turner or Ross Perot.

[Alyeska]

Growing up in Alaska gives you a health amount of respect for Bears. Its a part of life, but you also learn how to deal with them and what to do. In the summer, the Bears are well fed and are not a threat to humans, usualy. When in the back country you stay in groups and watch the signs. Durring the fall, you don't travel in the back country unless armed.

Since moving to Montana, I've seen more deaths by bears. People down here are less accustomed to them and a lot of tourists get themselves into trouble. I know people who hike in Glacier National Park with guns. Better to be fined then killed.

I myself don't go hiking without arming myself. And if it was a pro-longed trip, I would carry my shotgun. I figure a .45ACP, .40S&W, and a 12 guage would be sufficent to make a bear go away.

Anyway, as to the size of bears.

Kodiak Bears, Brown Bears, Grizzlies. They are the same thing. Brown is the generic term given, Grizzlies is the name given for most Browns in North America, and Kodiak is a sub species on Kodiak island that is very well fed.

Of the three main bear types, they break down as follows.

Black Bears. Smallest, mostly black colored, but also brown or white. Most ill-tempered and kill humans more then any other bear. Most common, and these little fuckers can climb trees nicely.

Grizzly Bears. The most well known of the bears. Big, powerful, and not to be messed with. Though half their strength is designed for moving boulders and logs to get at grubs. Nice big back muscles.

Polar Bears. The ultimate hunter and the largest bear in the world (don't argue, I will explain further). Lives almost exclusively on seals and is a nasty fucker. Though also very predictable. Experienced people documenting Polar Bears can actualy handle Polar Bears without need of a gun, but only very experienced people.

Now, on the issue of size. Polar Bears are larger then Browns. However, Kodiaks are abnormaly large and rival the Polars for size. I think on average the Polar bears still edge out the Kodiaks, but the 4 largest bears ever killed and recorded have all been Kodiaks.

As for my own bear experiences. I've only seen grizzlies in the wild twice. They are fairly cautious buggers who like to avoid humans. Once I saw a family grazy on grass in the Denali national park. The other I saw grazing on grass in Glacier National Park. Blacks, I've seen somewhat regularly. Cubs, mothers, and the ones that liked going through our garbage. Scared the piss out of our cat 4 days before we were set to move to Montana, our cat was missing for 2 days before she came home. After that she wouldn't leave the house unless accompanied by a human. Also saw a poor Grizzly in the Sydney Zoo. Felt sorry for the poor guy, must have been an oven for him.

[Broomstick]

Black Bears. Smallest, mostly black colored, but also brown or white. Most ill-tempered and kill humans more then any other bear. Most common, and these little fuckers can climb trees nicely.

I think people get into trouble with these guys in part because they think "Well, gee, it's not like it's a grizzly!" only to find to their sorrow that a bear doesn't need to be a grizzly to kill you and eat you.

Black bears presently are also plentiful over wider range than the grizzly. There's still a good population in Appalacia, and when I visit the in-laws there are areas where they are of some concern and you don't leave your pets outside at night. Hillbilly porch dogs are under the porch in part to hide from the bears.

But polar bears are generally held to be the worst. Yes, blacks and grizzlies will kill and eat people, but for the most part they're as lazy as any other critter and would far rather eat piles of grubs or bushes full of berries than bother with all that huntin' business. Not to mention those funny bipeds have those nasty bang-sticks sometimes, what a bother. Make lots of noise when you hike so you don't surprise 'em, and stay away from the cubs, and you vastly descrease your chances of a Bad Event. Polars, however... they will actively track and hunt humans, even armed humans in groups As far as they're concerned, we're just funny-looking seals. Yum.

[Joe]

I haven't seen the movie, but what I heard reminds me of Into the Wild, about a kid who is in love with the romance of the wild and living off the land and winds up dying in an abandoned shool bus in Alaska

That was actually a book (don't know if it was made into a movie), it turned up quite frequently on high school reading lists when I was in high school. The kid (Chris McCandless) armed himself and had the good sense to stay away from dangerous fauna, but ultimately it was eating poisonous flora that did him in. There's no shortage of ways to die out there.

[Broomstick]

Correct, it is a book and as far as I know never a movie. Researched and written by Jon Krakauer, who is no stranger to wilderness adventure himself. It makes for an interesting dynamic, in that Krakauer has personal experience with some of the things that drove this kid to go out into the wild and take some of the chances he did, yet McCandless (the kid) carried a bizarre sort of naivite with him the entire time.

Actually, what the kid ate was not known to be toxic until after the investigation into his death. Specifically, the plant was H. alpinum. Krakauer said he couldn't find a single published text that described any part of the plant as poisonous. It now appears the seeds are toxic, and that's what the kid ate, but it's a little hard to fault him for an ignorance apparently shared by the entire human race.

Even so, the kid was asking for trouble, going into wild territory all over North America after delibrately refusing gifts of supplies, equipment, and money for more of the same. You get the definite feeling that sooner or later he was going to come to grief.

[Edi]

You know, I grew up with teddy bears (hell I still have mine, it's exactly 1 meter away from me) and Yogi Bear and stuff. However, one look at a real bear and it's "Dear God, I'm so glad there is a deep pit and a fence between us." Seriously, do people see the claws and teeths on those thing? Not to mention the muscles, a human can kill you using only his arms and legs. One look at a bear and it should be obvious that it can kill you with a one-handed bitch-slap.

Are you kidding? There are people who try to play with rabbits (wild or domestic) and act surprised when the little bunny rips them a new one with their claws. My older brother had a brown rabbit ("Thumper" -how original!) he used to carry around like a baby back when he was 5 years old. My uncle bought a grey one for my cousin. She wanted a brown one and my brother agreed to swap (since the real Thumper was grey anyway). My uncle made the mistake of not picking up my brother's bunny like a baby and that little brown rabbit seriously fucked him up. It slashed his arms, chest, forehead, and uniform. He was the laughingstock of the Navy in Norfolk.

I had pet rabbits from about 8 years old onward until I moved out on my own and my parents and my sister have had pet rabbits for far longer (my sister has two now), and you learn to respect those teeth early on. If the critter can chew an 18 inch stick the thickness of your thumb to kindling the size of matchsticks or smaller in five to seven minutes, it's a sure bet he'll chew your fingers and hands up in no time flat if he gets angry. I've had a small piece of my finger (just skin, mainly, and it grew back) chomped off when I gave one rabbit an orally administered antibiotic, my mom got her fingernail bitten through and everyone in my family has had quite enough rabbit bites. And these generally from the small ones.

But your story stil takes the cake, Elfdart.

Edi

[AMX]

Some day people will realize that there's only a tiny number of animals that can be domesticated and they've already been domesticated.

I think I have to disagree here.
I'm almost sure there are still a couple species left that could be domesticated, if anybody bothered to try.

'Course, that'd require quite a bit of effort and, most importantly, common sense - if it has a habit of killing and eating humans, it's obviously unsuited...

[GrandMasterTerwynn]

I myself don't go hiking without arming myself. And if it was a pro-longed trip, I would carry my shotgun. I figure a .45ACP, .40S&W, and a 12 guage would be sufficent to make a bear go away.

Gotta love .40S&W. It's probably a bit short on power for bear country unless one is using one of the high-velocity light or cruiser-weight bullets. Not sure about the .45ACP, though I'd imagine you'd probably load it with +P ammunition in that case.

Black Bears. Smallest, mostly black colored, but also brown or white. Most ill-tempered and kill humans more then any other bear. Most common, and these little fuckers can climb trees nicely.

Yep. There's a lot of black bears out there, and they attack people for different reasons than brown bears do. A grizzly bear will attack a person mainly out of self-defense or defense of cubs. A black bear who attacks people, on the other hand, is attacking a person with the intention of killing and eating them. This is why it's important to be able to tell the two apart. Grizzly bears have a big muscular hump over their shoulders and look stocky throughout. Black bears lack the hump of muscle, and from the side, look like pears, with big backsides and bodies that taper toward the snout.

The strategy for dealing with an aggressive black bear also differs from an that of dealing with an aggressive grizzly. With grizzlies you do whatever you can to convince the bear you're not a threat and that, no you don't really intend to kill her cubs. In cases where the bear isn't on top of you, it involves talking softly at the bear and moving very slowly away from the bear, and not in a direction that takes you closer to any nearby cubs. When the bear is on top of you, it generally means curling up to protect yourself and otherwise playing dead. For a black bear, your priority is to get away from the bear. If the bear attacks, fight back. Playing dead will only give you practice for the real thing with black bears.

[Alyeska]

Gotta love .40S&W. It's probably a bit short on power for bear country unless one is using one of the high-velocity light or cruiser-weight bullets. Not sure about the .45ACP, though I'd imagine you'd probably load it with +P ammunition in that case.

A little short on power for the .40S&W, but with 15 rounds and two extra mags, not a problem. Besides, someone else also has bear spray. The .45ACP would make nice backup for someone else to use in the same situation.

black bears out there, and they attack people for different reasons than brown bears do. A grizzly bear will attack a person mainly out of self-defense or defense of cubs. A black bear who attacks people, on the other hand, is attacking a person with the intention of killing and eating them. This is why it's important to be able to tell the two apart. Grizzly bears have a big muscular hump over their shoulders and look stocky throughout. Black bears lack the hump of muscle, and from the side, look like pears, with big backsides and bodies that taper toward the snout.

The strategy for dealing with an aggressive black bear also differs from an that of dealing with an aggressive grizzly. With grizzlies you do whatever you can to convince the bear you're not a threat and that, no you don't really intend to kill her cubs. In cases where the bear isn't on top of you, it involves talking softly at the bear and moving very slowly away from the bear, and not in a direction that takes you closer to any nearby cubs. When the bear is on top of you, it generally means curling up to protect yourself and otherwise playing dead. For a black bear, your priority is to get away from the bear. If the bear attacks, fight back. Playing dead will only give you practice for the real thing with black bears.

Yep, the primary strategy for making a Black Bear go away is to be agressive as possible. Blacks don't like things that fight back. Grab a stick, make yourself big, make loud noises, act agressive, but carefuly back away. Larger groups have a far easier time intimidating Blacks. If the Blackbear approaches you and doesn't have cubs, hit the thing with a stick or a rock. Let it know your serious and not easy prey. It should go away. This is provided you were fucking unlucky and got caught with no other means to defend yourself.

[Mr. T]

What always surprises me about these sort of fucked up things (spending 10 years living with bears in this case), is not how fucked up the person in question is, but the fact that fucked up people like this seems to always have a girlfriend What are these women thinking?

[RedImperator]

Some day people will realize that there's only a tiny number of animals that can be domesticated and they've already been domesticated.

I think I have to disagree here.
I'm almost sure there are still a couple species left that could be domesticated, if anybody bothered to try.

'Course, that'd require quite a bit of effort and, most importantly, common sense - if it has a habit of killing and eating humans, it's obviously unsuited...

There might be a few with no economic value, but there are no big undomesticated domesticable animals left. Bears, big cats, bison, the big African herbivores, all of them would have been extremely valuable animals (rhinocerous cavalry, anyone?), but they simply couldn't be domesticated.

[Mr Bean]

Some day people will realize that there's only a tiny number of animals that can be domesticated and they've already been domesticated.

I think I have to disagree here.
I'm almost sure there are still a couple species left that could be domesticated, if anybody bothered to try.

'Course, that'd require quite a bit of effort and, most importantly, common sense - if it has a habit of killing and eating humans, it's obviously unsuited...

There are a few species that can be domesticated but are not widely so. Foxes for example can be domesticated but there is little need as they don't track as well as dogs/wolves do. Nor do much anything else that a dog can't. Plus they are smarter mechanics wise and great climbers meaning your avarage doggy controls don't work on them.

[Joe]

Yep, the primary strategy for making a Black Bear go away is to be agressive as possible. Blacks don't like things that fight back. Grab a stick, make yourself big, make loud noises, act agressive, but carefuly back away. Larger groups have a far easier time intimidating Blacks. If the Blackbear approaches you and doesn't have cubs, hit the thing with a stick or a rock. Let it know your serious and not easy prey. It should go away. This is provided you were fucking unlucky and got caught with no other means to defend yourself.

I actually read somewhere that the best way to scare off a Black Bear is to bunch really close together with your party to give it the impression that you're larger than you actually are.

[Elfdart]

Kodiak Bears, Brown Bears, Grizzlies. They are the same thing. Brown is the generic term given, Grizzlies is the name given for most Browns in North America, and Kodiak is a sub species on Kodiak island that is very well fed.

Yes, they're the same species but subspecies vary widely in size. Wolves in Alaska and Canada are up to twice as big as the Mexican wolf and three times as big as the ones in the Middle East and India. Tigers show the same trend.

[Master of Ossus]

My uncle made the mistake of not picking up my brother's bunny like a baby and that little brown rabbit seriously fucked him up. It slashed his arms, chest, forehead, and uniform. He was the laughingstock of the Navy in Norfolk.

Run away! Run away!

Give them a strong hint to have something abit large on hand besides the shotgun if instead of scaring them off it pisses them off. Most cabins won't stop a 600 pound pissed of brown bear.

The guys at the weir do NOT play around. They also carry Desert Eagles, when they leave the immediate premise of the weir, and they have an armory with rifles there for bears, too. They just don't carry them around while they're doing their everday activities, and they always try buckshot first.

[SAMAS]

I believe Kodiaks are the only ones bigger than grizzly brown bears and that polar bears are probably even worse.

You believe correctly. Polar bears are the absolute worst, because despite being omnivores by evolution, they eat almost exclusively meat. They will kill anything they can catch, which includes the slow, weak, hairless bipeds that sometimes stray into their domain. It's not a question of whether or not they would attack you, they always will if they can.

Edi

So you're saying I wasn't wrong for imagining bloody massacre after that coke commercial with the penguins.

[LongVin]

Aside from the urban myth of a guy checking to see how much gasoline is in his car by opening the gas cap and striking a match, this is about the stupidest way to die I can think of.

You know there probably is someone out there who actually tried that.

[LongVin]

I've known people that had gone into bear country in Alaska on a fishing trip and they carried shotguns as protection. And as recommended by the locals loaded them alternately with buckshot and slugs. Buckshot to the face, slug to the chest when they rear up, rinse and repeat until the bear goes away, dies or kills you. That's how dangerous they were considered. They also had one shotgun loaded with what they called "firecracker rounds" to scare bears off so it wouldn't have to come to that. They were also smart enough to not actively seek out bears.

I know if you're hunting in Alaska in bear country you ALWAYS carry a high calibre sidearm with you get knocked down and cant use your rifle during a beer attack.

[RedImperator]

I know if you're hunting in Alaska in bear country you ALWAYS carry a high calibre sidearm with you get knocked down and cant use your rifle during a beer attack.

Why would I want to protect myself from a beer attack? Where in Alaska is this wonderful place where beer seeks you instead of the other way around?

[LongVin]

I know if you're hunting in Alaska in bear country you ALWAYS carry a high calibre sidearm with you get knocked down and cant use your rifle during a beer attack.

Why would I want to protect myself from a beer attack? Where in Alaska is this wonderful place where beer seeks you instead of the other way around?

Well from what I heard(from people who hunted in Alaska) if you are cutting up the animal you just killed and decide to bring the meat back with you the bears are attracted by the smell of the fresh carcass and may attack you along the trail.

So you are always supposed to carry your rifle and the sidearm just in case.