If you were a starship...

[Brother-Captain Gaius]

If you were turned into a sci-fi starship, what would you be like?

Here's me:

JediNeophyte-class escort cruiser

Main Systems:

Powerplant: Low-power, sugar/water/carbonation-solution fed. Must be of lemon-lime variety. Sucks fuel rapidly, but capable of running on fumes for quite a while. Currently in its prime (13-21 years) running capacity, though prone to glitches.

Engines: Decent quality. Allows for excellent maneuverability, but subject to break-downs and malfunction. Capable of high-speed bursts.

Shielding: Very powerful, though slow recharge rate. Weak against emotional-based attacks.

Armor: Paper-thin. Very weak against emotional-based attacks.

Internal Structure: Same as above.

Internal Systems: Buggy and unreliable, but can take the knocks. No internal bracing beams have ever been damaged since maiden voyage. Only superficial fuel intake/loading bay damage until as of late.

Infrastructure: Good. Minor power conduit warping in outer shell, and unreliable heating/life support systems.

Ship Reactor: Not kept in prime condition. Glitchy.

Central Computer: Very powerful, but a fuel-guzzler and effective operation is limited to approximately 12 hours. Minor bugs with mathematical operations and direct area scanning/analysis. Most software in beta.


Weapons:
- Two Light Guns. Don't hit very hard, but strike fast and have good armor penetration.

- Two Light Cannons. Longer range than Light Guns, but use limited to one at a time, or else ship may lose stability.

- Loading bay internal mounts: More installed than intended, some had to be removed and retired from service. Presicion-strike, but moderate scoring to several mounts recently.

- Loading bay fighters: Slow and heavy, but can be propelled great distance from loading bay.

Auxilary systems:

Visual Scanners: Excellent, but degrading slowly.

Subspace Scanners: Poor, Central Computer has buggy interface.

Loading Bay/Fuel Intake Scanning and Fuel Injection Node Scanning: Poor, very buggy and hair-trigger.

External Ship Hull Scanners: Good. Minor damage amidship.

Emergency life support: Poor, 2x redundant.

[data_link]

Logic-class Destroyer data_link:

Main reactor: Phase-transition engines. High power output, requires no fuel. Works by harvesting the potential energy of existence over non-existence. Efficiency greatly compromised within an atmosphere or gravity well.

Secondary reactor: S2 Organ. Extremely powerful, but highly unstable. Malfunction could potentially result in catastrophic explosion.

Sublight engines: Fusion powered newtonian drive. Slow and nonmaneuverable, but due to using newtownian propulsion, can coast at any speed with no power consumption.

Hyperlight engines: Boson Jump Drive, capable of creating a jump field to any charted position in 3.82 seconds.

Shielding: Multilayered. Shields may be activated in any combination, although power consumption from running all of them at once is extremely high. They include:

• Fallacy shields: rated at 1.4 Wong. Does not automatically define incoming fallacies.
• Apathy shields: maintains complete protection from emotional attacks.
• AT-field: Protection from physical attacks up to 180 GW.
• Distortion field: maintains a gravitic distortion around the ship, repelling all incoming matter and energy.
• Adaptive shield: modifies it's properties to repel new types of attacks.

Armor: Moderate.

Internal structure: simple and robust.

Systems: operate at suboptimal efficiency when not used at full power.

Central computer: Highly efficient logic processor. Pattern-recognition abilities limited. Has difficulty processing undefined emotional data.

Sensors: Basic. Does not notice details on objects without heavy scan. Difficulty detecting emotions. Mostly passive - allows eavesdropping.

Weapons:
5 Heavy logic cannons - able to penetrate fallacy shields wihout power loss, can overload weaker walls of ignorance.
22 Medium logic cannons - able to penetrate loose fallacy shields without power loss, power loss may occour when passing through tight fallacy shields. Unable to penetrate Walls of Ignorance. Primarily defensive.
4 Medium evidence cannons - these fire slowly, and have a somewhat undersized capacitor. Used only when nessecary. Obviously, this ship is better at purely theoretical arguments.
10 missile lauchers - max. fire rate 1 per post per launcher.
400 extrapolation missiles - designed to penetrate walls of ignorance. Uses enemies own firepower against them. Success of attacks is uncertain.
1 Main Gravity Blast Cannon - Can defeat entire fleets of lesser vessels in one shot.

[Tsyroc]

What's the name of that trash hauler on Quark?

[Evil Sadistic Bastard]

Shikima-class Pleasure Cruiser ESV Hentai Hunter

Based off the ESV MasterVader

Main reactor: Stupidity Harvester. Absorbs ambient stupidity and fissions it repeatedly to relaes energy. Since stupidity is both incredibly dense and abundant it is a very efficient source of energy. A supply of idiots and trolls are kepy in the brig in case ramming speed is needed, or more power is needed to run the Hentai Search Engine.

Star Drive: Dimension Gate Generator. Generates planar and spherical space-time conduits, effectively creating a corridor of realspace from one point to another. Both planar and spherical portals are two-way, but spherical prtals envelop the totality of an area, while planar portals only provide coverage of a 2-D area.

Works off the captured Stupidity from the Stupidity Harnesser and uses the immense mass to punch holes in space.

Shields: Dimension Gate Generator can reflect most attacks back upon their firer. In addition, the Hentai Hunter possesses advanced holographic projectors, which are usually used to project erotic images out the side and distract enemies, but which can also be used for self-disguise or invisiblity purposes.

For use against fractional-c dust particles, nuclear missiles, discarded drinks cans and other everyday inconveniences of
space travel the Hentai Hunter carries Walls of Ignorance.

Armor: Light. The Hentai Hunter is a personal vessel, not a warship.
The hull, however, can make an unshielded re-entry and is made of living metal.

Central Computer: Sirius Cybernetics Corp. Android Brain, programmed for "fun and games". Also incorporates an "evasive preceptor" , allowing minor precognition of the future. The Android Brain also incorporates a Hentai Search Engine, which functions liek metal detector, except on a glaactic scale, and seeks out items and concepts which possess erotic potential.

Sensors: Highly advanced. The Hentai Hunter is always on the lookout for more Hentai and pr0n, as well as worlds to spread the gospel of Anal to. Thus it makes sense that it has some of the mostly highly advanced sensors in existence, as well as equipment to penetrate female clothing. Also includes an Playstation 2 whose Emotion Engine allows for the evaluation of the emotional states of others, as well as providing great entertainment.

Weapons: The Dimension Gate Generator can create spherical portals to parallel universes, which can be collapsed at will to cut off parts of enemy vessels or to eliminate incoming fire. Aart from that the Hentai Hunter carries no weapons, except for a pair of laser popguns which the computer fires when bored.


The Hentai Hunter flies under a flag of truce under most circumstances, proclaiming its mission to spread tasteful (or tasteless, depnding on what the other party's preferences are) pornography throughout the universe.

Iff atatcked, it will back off and repeat it's mission, if pressed it flees and does not come back. However, an assault force from the ESV MasterVader will be sent to eliminate any interlopers who can give chase.

The ESV contains shrines to all known objects of human male desire, electronic or organic, as well as high speed internet connection and a team os winged monkeys on crack, allowing the moral degeneration of a world to be completed in hours. It also contains a Temple of Anal, where the Assmasters of Wong conduct their rituals and prayers for the Gehanal the coming of the great god of anal, WONG.

It is the personal vessel of the Evil Sadistic Bastard, the highest-ranking member of the Empire of Ecchi.

[Captain tycho]

Blast Back- class

Powerplant: Old fashioned micro-nuclear-fusion reactor, power output
roughly 50000GW
Engines: Psi-Driven Multi-Dimensional Portal Drive
Armor: 8 layer emotional-resistant reactive armor, deals back damage
from emotional attacks
Weapons: 80 fast-attack robotic interceptors and 10 Phase-Disruption
Pulse Cannons
Sensors: Short range pinpoint targeting sensors, intercepts missiles, used for coordinating Phase cannons
Structure: One large hangar for interceptors and robotic lamding craft.
One personnel deck for officers.
6 droid storage decks.
One engineering deck.
Description: Fast-reaction defense vessel, not suitable for large scale fleet battles

I dunno.
I didn't really know what to put down for the rest of the stuff except for the armor ( I can get very mad), so I just put down some technical stuff.

[XaLEv]

LOL

Actually, one of the civilizations in my universe has a class of warships named XaLEv. And no, I did not name myself after them, or vice versa.

On topic: I don't feel like coming up with specs, so I'll just lay down some general capabilities:

Very good cloak and sensors. Capable of observing events and objects from far away in great detail. Powerful apathy shields. High resistance to emotional attacks, weaker against physical attacks but still strong. Emotional weaponry weaker than physical. Vast information storage capacity, though retrieval can be poor sometimes.

That's all for now.

[TrailerParkJawa]

In the world of Traveller by GDW there was a Scout ship that I thought looked cool. It was shaped like the lower half of a Star Destroyer. It was for small crews to explore new systems IIRC. Id be that just cause I liked the asthetics.

[SirNitram]

Everlasting Glory-class vessel Sufficiently Advanced Technology.

No stats for now, simply saying it's one of the heavy ships from my own sci-fi, heavily augmented with technology from the God-AI's, so it pretty much seems to be capable of magic. As for my sci-fi, I'll be posting it to fanfic's soon, once I clean up some chapters.

[Mike_6002]

The 6002 class Customs Corvette

Size: 180 Meters
Shields: Equal to a Carrack Class Cruiser
Engines: 4 (2*2 Stack)
Linear Accerlation: 500KM/sec
Armor: Equal to a Carrack Cruiser
Weapons: 2 Very Heavy Ion Cannons (1 Forward, 1 Aft), 12 Quad-Antistarfigher Lasers (SW), 2 Torpedo Tubes loaded with Mag and Ion Pulse Topedos
Misc. System: 1 Holodeck with everykind of Hentai, Porno type progam possible, and a pet Hentai Tentical Demon use for anal raping boarders <Worse than death>
Description: A Box with 2 huge bulges (Ion Cannons) Sticking out of the front and back, and a boxy engine configuration

[NecronLord]

The Nightbringers ship of mega-death...

*looks at ESB's ship*

So that's who took my living metal

[kojikun]

I'd be ship from Bajakverse. Probably a Graza Heavy Engineering quick assault gunship with a 99% weapons accuracy at a distance of over 100 lighryears and a target acquisition time of under a millisecond. Also has slipstream "recharge" speeds of 100 jumps per second and a transit speed of 500ly per second (other side of the galaxy and back in under 5 minutes

the GHE quick assault gunships can enter and exit hyperspace 100 times a second, making it quite the formidable opponent. imagine fighting a war against and enemy that can disappear and reappear somewhere else, fire, then vanish again before you can tell your men to fire at it. like that episode of andromeda with the interuniverse aliens. The only way to defeat such an enemy is to saturate space around you with weapons fire or explosions, but the 100ly weapons range (utilizing slipstream guns) enables them to keep out of weapons range with ease (unless your weapon works at FTL speeds).

The ship also has deep-submergence ability, which means it can hide in slipstream without having either entrance open, while still maintaining some sensor and full weapons ability (sensors and weapons both require opening small entrances into normal space however). Sensor bots would also serve as good means to maintain full sensor ability however they would be detectable by active scans.

Weapons and shields well.. lets just say that the small sub-100 meter ship could scrap a stardestroyer before the SD realized it was under sttack

against the culture im not sure about. but who cares? :p

[Evil Sadistic Bastard]

The Nightbringers ship of mega-death...

*looks at ESB's ship*

So that's who took my living metal

Well sorry, but I need it to have the walls eat beautiful strangers which I lure aboard and spit them out in "playrooms" minus clothing.

[Jawawithagun]

An asteroid. With rockets bolted on.

[salm]

a tie fighter, because they´re pretty much the coolest looking ships i can think of.

[Xon]

A 5ThI Terrian class Planetiod
Simply becuase well thought out tech & really fast computers are a very good advantage.

Plus a ship the larger than the Moon is just cool.

[Cpt_Frank]

a tie fighter, because they´re pretty much the coolest looking ships i can think of.

On the negative side, that might reduce your lifespan drastically.

I'd like to be either an ECS or a Retribution class BB.

Warhammer 40k ships have the advantadge they get many thousands of years old...

[The Dark]

Well, going back to the original basing the ship on ourselves:

Cougar-class Light Cruiser The Dark

Main Powerplant: Biomass pile, low output, high endurance.

Secondary powerplant: O2/CO2 exchanger, maximum output sustainable for ~30 minutes.

Main propulsion: Twin Pinar Industries CO1990 engines. Port engine slightly damaged, self-repair system continuing progress on complete repair.

Shields: None.

Armor: Light, depends on maneuverability for defense.

Sensors:
Visual: Very poor, roughly 10% normal visual range without corrective programming.
Sonic: Very good, in top 10% of normal.

Combat capabilites:
Weapons: Four light cannon, only three usable at one time due to frame/weapon incompatibility. Both port side weapons currently damaged, undergoing maintenance and repairs.
Programming: Trained in use both of own weaponry and absorption/redirection of enemy attacks to cause severe damage to enemy vessel. Moderately dangerous, undergoing continuing reprogramming.

Processor: Very powerful, roughly 1.4 times quicker than average starship processors. Somewhat "quirky" at times, but tends to get the job done in a satisfactory manner. Overly moral for many users, has occasional pout sessions.

[Exonerate]

Name: Upholder-Class Crusier
Main Powerplant: Zero Point Energy
Secondary Powerplant: N2 Engine.
Main Propulsion: 4 Sub-light Phase Engines; Capable of 35% speed of light, but fairly slow acceleration.
Interstellar Transportation: Reality warping thingy.
Shields: AT-Field
Armor: Organic Eternium Crystal.
Sensors: Gravity gradient, thermal emission, and electromagnetic sensors.
Central Computer: Sentient Trinary QC.
Weaponry:
9 Displacement Blasters: Projects mass to a specific point in space-time.
2 Gravity Shears: Is capable of ripping hull armor right off other ships. Can bend and distort shields and space-time
12 Railguns: Used as fighter defense, and to destroy incoming missiles. Fired at 70% speed of light
1 Tachyon Particle Beam: High energy attack, and can be focused at a single point or spread. Extremely powerful.
Support Craft: 4 Fighters, 2 transport ships, and 6 probes.
Special capabilities: Absorbs all electromagnetic emissions, then emits it to match the background. Effectively a cloaking device.

This would most likely be used as a medium strike craft, or patrol craft. Kinda like an VSD. Its primary purpose is to engage in ship-to-ship combat.

[The Nomad]

Culture military GSV... with escorts.

[Captain Cyran]

A 5ThI Terrian class Planetiod
Simply becuase well thought out tech & really fast computers are a very good advantage.

Plus a ship the larger than the Moon is just cool.

Why stop with a Terrian...Go to Imperial Terra Class! Hehehe *twitch* .

[weemadando]

WeeMadAndo a Pissed Off Person class Dreadnought.

Size: Bigger than you.
Crew: Lots and lots of cynics.

Primary power source: Anger/fusion reactor
Secondary power source: Grudgeholding

Primary shield system: Class1 Cynicism Generator
Secondary shield system: Rhetoric field

Armour: Rhino-thickness hide

Primary offensive system: Offensive remarks beam
Secondary offensive system: Bitchslap missiles

Central computer: Dwarven book of grudges mated with HAL and Shodan.