Darth Vader: Mission Assasinate GWB

Hammer · Post by **Hammer** » 2002-12-07 08:09am

Darth Vader is has been dropped off on Earth. Lets say somewhere in the middle of Australia.

He has only the following equipment:

Lightsaber
Force Powers
Suit/helmet etc.

His mission is to somehow find/make his way to George W Bush, and then kill him.

Can he do it?

Post by **Mr Bean** » 2002-12-07 08:11am

His mission is to somehow find/make his way to George W Bush, and then kill him.

Can he do it?

Sits down, meditates, the Force Chokes Bush from across the Planet

Hammer · Post by **Hammer** » 2002-12-07 08:23am

Mr Bean wrote:
His mission is to somehow find/make his way to George W Bush, and then kill him.

Can he do it?
Sits down, meditates, the Force Chokes Bush from across the Planet

Proof that he can "find" an individual through the Force?

Post by **Vympel** » 2002-12-07 08:26am

Have people on Earth ever seen Star Wars in this scenario? Because I live here dude and if I saw the Dark Lord of the Sith walking down the street on the way to Sydney Airport to get to America ... I'd be freaked out.

Post by **weemadando** » 2002-12-07 08:26am

Hammer wrote:Darth Vader is has been dropped off on Earth. Lets say somewhere in the middle of Australia.

He has only the following equipment:

Lightsaber

Force Powers

Suit/helmet etc.
His mission is to somehow find/make his way to George W Bush, and then kill him.

Can he do it?

Middle of Australia you say? Right, depending on where in the middle of Australia...

1) Is attacked by a pack of dingoes.
2) Is attacked by CIA suits guarding a secure US listening post.
3) Is attacked by Australian troops guarding an Australian base.
4) Is attacked by a psycho on the highway.
5) Dies of heat exhaustion inside 30 seconds in that suit.

Post by **Vympel** » 2002-12-07 08:28am

weemadando wrote: 5) Dies of heat exhaustion inside 30 seconds in that suit.

I was wondering about that. I'd assume he has environmental controls to keep him comfy in that thing, don't you think?

Post by **NecronLord** » 2002-12-07 08:58am

weemadando wrote:
Hammer wrote:Darth Vader is has been dropped off on Earth. Lets say somewhere in the middle of Australia.

He has only the following equipment:

Lightsaber

Force Powers

Suit/helmet etc.
His mission is to somehow find/make his way to George W Bush, and then kill him.

Can he do it?
Middle of Australia you say? Right, depending on where in the middle of Australia...

1) Is attacked by a pack of dingoes.
2) Is attacked by CIA suits guarding a secure US listening post.
3) Is attacked by Australian troops guarding an Australian base.
4) Is attacked by a psycho on the highway.
5) Dies of heat exhaustion inside 30 seconds in that suit.

none of them are going to be a problem.

Eventually vader sits down, watches bush live on TV and chokes him (as he did Ozzel)

Post by **Vympel** » 2002-12-07 09:01am

NecronLord wrote:
weemadando wrote:
Hammer wrote:Darth Vader is has been dropped off on Earth. Lets say somewhere in the middle of Australia.

He has only the following equipment:

Lightsaber

Force Powers

Suit/helmet etc.
His mission is to somehow find/make his way to George W Bush, and then kill him.

Can he do it?
Middle of Australia you say? Right, depending on where in the middle of Australia...

1) Is attacked by a pack of dingoes.
2) Is attacked by CIA suits guarding a secure US listening post.
3) Is attacked by Australian troops guarding an Australian base.
4) Is attacked by a psycho on the highway.
5) Dies of heat exhaustion inside 30 seconds in that suit.
none of them are going to be a problem.

Eventually vader sits down, watches bush live on TV and chokes him (as he did Ozzel)

That's a good point. It'd be interesting to know how far away Ozzel really was when he did that. It could've been 17km away for all we know

Tsyroc · Post by **Tsyroc** » 2002-12-07 10:03am

Mr Bean wrote:
His mission is to somehow find/make his way to George W Bush, and then kill him.

Can he do it?
Sits down, meditates, the Force Chokes Bush from across the Planet

Heck, he mind controls Bush from across the planet and makes him choke on a pretzel.

Xon · Post by **Xon** » 2002-12-07 11:32am

Hammer wrote:Darth Vader is has been dropped off on Earth. Lets say somewhere in the middle of Australia.

He has only the following equipment:

Lightsaber

Force Powers

Suit/helmet etc.
His mission is to somehow find/make his way to George W Bush, and then kill him.

Can he do it?

In the middle of australia?

Eyeballing it, I'ld say he ends up in a desert, or atleast +400km from anything. Thus he would die of dehydrartion/starvation before he gets anywhere. Got to love +40 Degree heat, & vast open areas.

This ignoring force control @ +100km distance.

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2002-12-07 11:35am

Depends on whether he can find some kind of transportation, and how well his suit can handle temperature extremes. For all we know, he'd be completely comfortable in there.

HemlockGrey · Post by **HemlockGrey** » 2002-12-07 11:37am

You idiots! You'll call down the wrath of the Information Awareness Agency on all our heads!

Run! Run while you still can!

Xon · Post by **Xon** » 2002-12-07 11:58am

Darth Wong wrote:Depends on whether he can find some kind of transportation,

Best case senario, he appears near a town or house.
2nd best case, next to a road. But Australia outback roads arnt falling apart from over use, it could take days, posible a week even on a 'main' road. Given there is ~19.2 million people in australia(as of the census in 2000), and most people live in the cities, Vader really doesnt have a good change of finding anyone.
Worse case, middle of no were. Dies of starvation in ~14 days, even covering 20km a day (~280km in 14 days) really doesnt get you any were. Even if you know were you are going (which Vader could use the force to figure which direction to go)

Population Distribution:

Link to Population Distribution statistics

and how well his suit can handle temperature extremes. For all we know, he'd be completely comfortable in there.

True, also the suit probable reclaims water so dehydration probable isnt an issue, but we can safely assume he needs to eat. Thus he can afford to spend ~14 days with out food.
IIRC Doesnt he need a special enviroment to safely remove his helmet? And I'm not aware of any special foods he would need (probable baby food, since he had his guts replaced, or a UV drip of some type)
This would puts a time limit on how long he can stay on Earth.

Post by **Sea Skimmer** » 2002-12-07 02:23pm

Vympel wrote:Have people on Earth ever seen Star Wars in this scenario? Because I live here dude and if I saw the Dark Lord of the Sith walking down the street on the way to Sydney Airport to get to America ... I'd be freaked out.

More likely you'd think it was a just a fan.

The force would easily get him a plane to a major city and then a plane to Washington. Then ignite saber and storm the place. The middle of Australia does have people.

Zaku-chan · Post by **Zaku-chan** » 2002-12-07 02:41pm

If by 'middle of Australia' you mean that Alice Sprins place, Vader will easily use the Force to get a car to drive to Adelaide, which looks like the closes large city, and preseumably has an airport. If not, then on to Melbourne.

Vader again uses the Force to catch a plane to DC. He sits, watches the in-flight movie, declines the stewardess' offer of some soda and peanuts, and maybe gets the pillow and blanket out for a nap.

He arrives in DC, probably Dulles, and grabs a pamphlet with tourist info, using it to figure out where to go, and again uses to Force to order a cabbie to get him to take him to the White House.

Once there, he uses the Force to waltz right past the Secret Service and any visitors, and goes staight inside to confront Bush. After a few moments, he realizes he's lost, and joins a tour group. Once he learns the Oval Office is where the President is, he barges in and probably Force-chokes GWB.

consequences · Post by **consequences** » 2002-12-07 02:54pm

Hold on, its possible that GWB is too stupid to be affected by force powers. Midichlorians probably avoid him on the off chance that stupidity of that magnitude is contagious.

Zaku-chan · Post by **Zaku-chan** » 2002-12-07 02:58pm

Ozzel died just fine....

kojikun · Post by **kojikun** » 2002-12-07 03:44pm

Its common knowledge that nonliving things are more affected by the force then living things. And since midichlorians are in living cells, then any creature without midichlorians would be more easilly manipulated like nonliving things. :p

Post by **NecronLord** » 2002-12-07 04:15pm

"The force can have a strong influence on the weak minded"

kojikun · Post by **kojikun** » 2002-12-07 05:15pm

you have to have a mind before it can be weak.

Slartibartfast · Post by **Slartibartfast** » 2002-12-08 02:08am

Hammer wrote:
Mr Bean wrote:
His mission is to somehow find/make his way to George W Bush, and then kill him.

Can he do it?
Sits down, meditates, the Force Chokes Bush from across the Planet
Proof that he can "find" an individual through the Force?

Buys TV, waits for live speech, chokes thru screen. PROVED BY CANON

Post by **Vympel** » 2002-12-08 02:10am

Sea Skimmer wrote:
More likely you'd think it was a just a fan.

The force would easily get him a plane to a major city and then a plane to Washington. Then ignite saber and storm the place. The middle of Australia does have people.

Well, I'd think it was just a fan if Star Wars existed. If not, then my first reaction would be- "what the fuck are you wearin- ack ack I can't breath"

Zaku-chan wrote:If by 'middle of Australia' you mean that Alice Sprins place, Vader will easily use the Force to get a car to drive to Adelaide, which looks like the closes large city, and preseumably has an airport. If not, then on to Melbourne.

Vader again uses the Force to catch a plane to DC. He sits, watches the in-flight movie, declines the stewardess' offer of some soda and peanuts, and maybe gets the pillow and blanket out for a nap.

He arrives in DC, probably Dulles, and grabs a pamphlet with tourist info, using it to figure out where to go, and again uses to Force to order a cabbie to get him to take him to the White House.

Once there, he uses the Force to waltz right past the Secret Service and any visitors, and goes staight inside to confront Bush. After a few moments, he realizes he's lost, and joins a tour group. Once he learns the Oval Office is where the President is, he barges in and probably Force-chokes GWB.

Picturing Vader walking around the White House with a tour group....

TrailerParkJawa · Post by **TrailerParkJawa** » 2002-12-08 03:41am

2) Is attacked by CIA suits guarding a secure US listening post.

If he lands in the Alice Springs area, he might get attacked. But I think Vader can handle those guys.

I agree with others that he would force choke Bush through the TV. But a 6ft plus guy in a black suit walking around that area might attract attention!

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