Some Intelligant "Re"-designing.

Crossroads Inc. · Post by **Crossroads Inc.** » 2006-03-01 08:23pm

It is no small thing that a large group of whacks are trying to get us to believe that Evolution isn't just wrong, but Humanity was guided and crafted by some higher power...

Now, my own personal feelings on this are mixed, but none the less if the Lord Almighty actually "designed" us poor humans bit by bit... He(she/it) did a rather messy job...

The human body is riddled with flaws and errors that any engineering student could point out. So...

For the Engineers out there, what if YOU got to re-design the Human body? Say you got load the dice of Evolution to take another path... What parts of physiology would change? fix? edit?

nickolay1 · Post by **nickolay1** » 2006-03-01 08:24pm

Multiple orgasms for males.

Post by **Gandalf** » 2006-03-01 08:30pm

Teeth more resistant to the modern diet.

wolveraptor · Post by **wolveraptor** » 2006-03-01 08:34pm

Why the fuck do we have hair? Maybe head-hair for warmth, and nose hair for catching dust and bacteria, but in other places, what good is it? Get rid of that bullshit.

And why do I have a huge sausage (and I mean huge

yay penis-bragging!) that sticks out whenever I get horny? It gets in the way. I don't even get any equivalents to a dildo to help me masturbate. I want a vagina, pure and simple. It's so much more practical. And we should be able to willfully surpress the vas deferens from supplying sperm, so no more bullshit condoms or pills.

Oh, and total immunity or symbiosis with all pathogens. And everyone should be hot. And we should eat through holes that open and close in our cheeks, and the mouth should be exclusively for breathing and making out.

Crossroads Inc. · Post by **Crossroads Inc.** » 2006-03-01 08:54pm

Well I'd like to know whose bright idea it was to connect our mouth into the same pipe we breath from.

If I start choking on something I wan't to be able to actually BREATH, damn chicken bones...

And I agree on hair, ewe... On the head on in the nose are about the only places yo ucan justify it stil being. However...

Why would you complain about the functionality of a dick? It's a work of art! And don't complain about masturbating... Guys can use Dildos too

Molyneux · Post by **Molyneux** » 2006-03-01 09:13pm

Easy; I'd install a Debug mode. Anyone who's not smart enough to not mess with it self-selects out of the gene pool, and anyone who knows how to use it well will be much better off.

I'd fix that problem with the eyes, take out the wisdom teeth, and I'd probably make us hermaphroditic or, alternatively, capable of changing gender at will (as some fish can do).

Elheru Aran · Post by **Elheru Aran** » 2006-03-01 09:26pm

Re the penis/vagina thing...

Best of both worlds: dickgirl!

Redesign the genome so that from that point approximately fifty percent or so of males are hermaphroditic; they have tits (smallish) and a vagina (though nonfunctional). Testicles are where the ovaries were. And, the clit is resized; most of it hides under the hood normally, but when aroused it grows to a functional (if small) penis capable of stimulating women and delivering sperm.

Doesn't that sound great????!!! /chibi smiley/

(Addendum: This wasn't entirely serious.

)

Post by **Surlethe** » 2006-03-01 09:53pm

Two legs seems very inefficient. I'd spring for an extra two for balance and speed. Of course, we'd have to redesign the human brain, else we'd all be disgusted with ourselves for looking so ugly; and we'd have to redesign vehicles and buildings to accomodate the new design.

Jaepheth · Post by **Jaepheth** » 2006-03-01 10:09pm

1. gills
2. no allergies
3. compound and independant eyes
4. retractable claws
5. night vision
6. hawk eyes (both the super high resolution and clear set of eyelids)
7. 4 arms and 4 legs
8. two hearts
9. more sensitive hearing/smelling
10. ability to see infared
11. ability to drink and survive off of sea water
12. multiple stomachs to allow the eating of grasses if necissary
13. ability to regrow lost limbs
14. wings

Other than those simple changes, I'd probably keep humans about the same.

Stark · Post by **Stark** » 2006-03-01 10:22pm

Reporting and logging for biological functions: I want to be able to open the console and find out why I had bad dreams last night.

wilfulton · Post by **wilfulton** » 2006-03-01 10:27pm

Hmm... for a normal human:

better immune system (I'm biased because I'm sick right now and my abs hurt from coughing so much, on top of that I had to take a fucking PT test this morning...)

make it easier to gain muscle and harder to gain fat (godammit, I like my cookies and ice cream, and I'm trying to get bigger muscles and it's just not working).

The eyes being our primary sense organ, why the fuck do they always have to get worse over time? Why should we be going through this macular degeneration crap?

So there's three immediate advancements.

wolveraptor · Post by **wolveraptor** » 2006-03-01 10:53pm

Why would you complain about the functionality of a dick? It's a work of art! And don't complain about masturbating... Guys can use Dildos too

Maybe gay guys can use dildos, but it seems awfully cruel to make only a fraction of the horny half of the population able to take advantage of those.

And yes, dicks get in the way. So do balls. We guys can't ride on horses as easily, and we're more vulnerable in combat. And we can't just get a horny whenever we feel like it, especially in tight-ish jeans. I can't be arsed to find clothes my size!

Civil War Man · Post by **Civil War Man** » 2006-03-01 10:53pm

Jaepheth wrote:3. compound and independant eyes

I'd personally spring for more catlike eyes (vertical slit pupil). IIRC, that basically gives the eye a better response to bright light than the circular pupils.

As for night-vision, just go full catlike and give it the reflective coating.

I'd probably add a prehensile tail to humanity, as well.

...You know what, why don't I just say that I turn humanity into catpeople.

wolveraptor · Post by **wolveraptor** » 2006-03-01 10:59pm

Strange that tigers, also nocturnal animals, don't have slit eyes, unlike smaller felids. I never got that.

Molyneux · Post by **Molyneux** » 2006-03-01 11:17pm

Elheru Aran wrote:Re the penis/vagina thing...

Best of both worlds: dickgirl!

Redesign the genome so that from that point approximately fifty percent or so of males are hermaphroditic; they have tits (smallish) and a vagina (though nonfunctional). Testicles are where the ovaries were. And, the clit is resized; most of it hides under the hood normally, but when aroused it grows to a functional (if small) penis capable of stimulating women and delivering sperm.

Doesn't that sound great????!!! /chibi smiley/

(Addendum: This wasn't entirely serious. )

...why not? Sounds like a better arrangement than the one we've got now.
I still prefer 'change at will' between male, fem, neuter and in-between, though.

Keevan_Colton · Post by **Keevan_Colton** » 2006-03-01 11:23pm

Two words for you all...

Culture.
Genofixing.

DPDarkPrimus · Post by **DPDarkPrimus** » 2006-03-01 11:53pm

Keevan_Colton wrote:Two words for you all...

Culture.
Genofixing.

While that's the product of an Intellligent Designer, it's not a natural development.

Cyborg Stan · Post by **Cyborg Stan** » 2006-03-02 12:04am

Surlethe wrote:Two legs seems very inefficient. I'd spring for an extra two for balance and speed. Of course, we'd have to redesign the human brain, else we'd all be disgusted with ourselves for looking so ugly; and we'd have to redesign vehicles and buildings to accomodate the new design.

Supposedly, it offers better efficency over very long ranges - assuming a healthy person of the right shape, they can eventually outrun a horse. I'd have to look for this one though.

3. compound and independant eyes

Like an insect? They'd have to be huge in order to get a reasonable resolution.

Compound Eye Man, the Picture!

I'd leave the eyes with the blood vessels in the correct place. Possibly also have the spider variation of having part of the retina a strip that vibrates.

10. ability to see infared

IIRC, this would be hard in a warm-blooded creature. The analogy I heard was that it would be the equivalent of staring constantly into a spotlight.

Other things :

Ability to produce all the needed proteins, vitamins, etc from scratch.

12. multiple stomachs to allow the eating of grasses if necissary

Too much space. I'd prefer a much more efficent digestive system.

14. wings

Useless except for either wierd-ass courting displays or heat disspation. Even more so with the other enhancements adding mass.

Redesign the genome so that from that point approximately fifty percent or so of males are hermaphroditic; they have tits (smallish) and a vagina (though nonfunctional). Testicles are where the ovaries were. And, the clit is resized; most of it hides under the hood normally, but when aroused it grows to a functional (if small) penis capable of stimulating women and delivering sperm.

If you're going that far, why make it non-functional? Just make everyone capable of mating and producing children with everyone else.

For that matter, perhaps differences in birth, so babies aren't squeezed out of a pelvis. Perhaps a pouch arrangement, like marisupals. Or eggs. Or failing those, just have the baby come out a hole in the front of abdomen so they don't have to come out through a canal of bone.

Teeth more resistant to the modern diet.

I'd prefer teeth that just grow in when old ones give out. Besides, our teeth are one of the things that have been modified in humans.

Thag · Post by **Thag** » 2006-03-02 12:19am

I'd put in some work on the neck. You have your main breathing passage, two major arteries, and the spinal column running through a minimally protected area. Maybe shorten the neck a little more, or maybe some swiveling extensions of the collarbone just under the skin.

The Silence and I · Post by **The Silence and I** » 2006-03-02 12:21am

Staying, for the time being, within the general appearance of our current form...

I'd redesign the back, most people will experience back pain at some point in their lives; we simply are not well designed for bipedalism.

I'd also redesign the eyes, grant a wider focus range and allow enough redundancy in focus to prevent nearly all cases of eye trouble.

The immune system could use some work, a stronger self recognition system is in order, arthritis sufferers will agree with me here. An ability to recognize cancers with greater reliability would also have enourmous benefits. Preventing overreactions to harmless substances will prevent allergies, definately wanted. Infusing the blood with antibacterial agents as seen in crocodiles would have great practicality too. I could probably go on...

Redesigning our metabolism and heart structure and other systems to prevent heart disease, and while we are at it unwanted blood clots (stroke, anyone?) is in order.

Speaking of metabolism, unless environmental conditions require otherwise, the metabolism should adjust to food supply and body fat--unless food is scarce and/or the environment is very cold high fat content should trigger a metabolism increase. I'd also love to remove free radical production, but that might be a little much just for humans--IF I were starting over from the beginning I would modify this somehow. Hell, I could get more efficiency out of it too. But failing that a more powerful system of anti oxidants in the body can help prevent genetic and cellular damage, aiding health and long life.

And how about the male genetalia? Such heat sensitive sperm requires external placement, and that means lots of pain and the danger of irrepreable damage. I'd change the heat tolerance and mount the testes inside the body cavity somewhere.

Who can really claim our teeth are adequate? Are rot resistant teeth, or replaceable teeth, so very much to ask?

Many people have foot arch problems, this is silly and can be repaired.

The auditory hairs in our ears cannot be replaced. Add that to the list...

The appendix? What do we need it for? Let's remove the weight/possible infection place.

Sun sensitive skin really is stupid. I don't mind the ability to tan, but sun burn is just too easy for most skin tones.

On the subject of the skin, we have oily secretions on the face that only seem to serve to block pores and invite acne--a very emotionally damaging disease. It also makes frequent cleaning of the face required in modern society.

These are all basic fixes, I've not included super vision, hearing, strength, long life, flight (WTF??) tails, extra limbs or whatever. Think of it as human 2.0.

Ace Pace · Post by **Ace Pace** » 2006-03-02 12:28am

Stark wrote:Reporting and logging for biological functions: I want to be able to open the console and find out why I had bad dreams last night.

Hell yes.

brianeyci · Post by **brianeyci** » 2006-03-02 12:40am

A physical revulsion to killing your own species. Don't tell me it can't be done. We have a physical revulsion to things like blue or purple food, or insects, or certain colours, and I've read that it's a built-in defense mechanism.

A very strong physical revulsion, akin to nausea, or maybe sharp stabbing pains should suffice. It should work for direct and indirect killing... a guy pressing a button a mile away should feel it too. But even if that's not possible and it's only through hand to hand, it might have averted the worst parts of human history.

Oh yeah, a physical defense mechanism for women against rapists. Preferably something that chews off the guy's dick if the woman doesn't consciously turn it off somehow. If that's not possible simply make an overwhelming physical revulsion to being raped, some kind of nauseating smell women emit if they're afraid or pissed off or angry.

Brian

General Soontir Fel · Post by **General Soontir Fel** » 2006-03-02 01:02am

Gills, definitely. Not sure where to best put them, though.

An alternate cooling system, so as not to lose all that water by sweating.

A couple of tentacles in addition to the two hands would be useful. Or even a prehensile tail...

Skin that doesn't sunburn...

brianeyci wrote:A physical revulsion to killing your own species. Don't tell me it can't be done. We have a physical revulsion to things like blue or purple food, or insects, or certain colours, and I've read that it's a built-in defense mechanism.

Would telepathy accomplish that? Feeling the other person's thoughts as he or she is dying would definitely make killing in any form uncomfortable...[/b]

Crossroads Inc. · Post by **Crossroads Inc.** » 2006-03-02 01:11am

Thag wrote:I'd put in some work on the neck. You have your main breathing passage, two major arteries, and the spinal column running through a minimally protected area. Maybe shorten the neck a little more, or maybe some swiveling extensions of the collarbone just under the skin.

I'd like to give a big Second on this one.. I can't imagine how many health issues come from some sort of trama to the neck.

As far as other changes.. .Backbent legs, exactly how much more efficent are they to Human legs?

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2006-03-02 01:57am

Curtis Saxton pointed out to me once that the human body has reached an evolutionary dead end with regard to th development of brain size, because infants must pass through the female's pelvic bone on the way out. It limits the size of a baby's brain and skull, and we have already adapted as much as feasibly possible with soft floating plates in the infant's skull that allow it to temporarily "squeeze" on the way out.