"Vs" debate commandments

[consequences]

Thou shalt maintain a calm, reasonable attitude, unless at some point you make it clear to others that you are just fucking around.

[Rob Wilson]

Can't believe no one's suggested,

THOU SHALT PROVIDE BACKGROUND ON OBSCURE AND NON-SCIFI CHARACTERS, RACES, AND TECH.


Seriously, when I see (name) vs. (name) and I don't know either of them and there's no background, it's irritating.

That one gets my vote, who knows it might just stop the 7000th posting of "Who are the Culture?".. Then again...

[Darth Wong]

Yhat one gets my vote, who knows it might just stop the 7000th posting of "Who are the Culture?".. Then again...

A sizable proportion of people who post in a "vs" thread don't even bother to thoroughly read the opening post and the scenario, so I doubt it.

PS. all hail Rob's first post since July! He sent me a private E-mail explaining that he'd been briefly kidnapped by a secret nymphomaniac clan of ninjas, hence his long absence (sorry about spilling the beans, Rob).

[Howedar]

I remember him...

[Rob Wilson]

Right then, so far the amended Laws should read as below (with the small change to Law 2).

1. Thou shalt not cop out by saying that party A will be on the attack while party B remains passive. Any attempt to justify such a cop-out must be punished by high-voltage electrodes applied judiciously to the groin area.
2. Thou shalt not concoct scenarios in which party A infiltrates, scouts, and plans out aggressive actions against party B while party B remains blissfully unaware of danger. Unless you can provide proof or acceptable reasons for this to happen. Such scenarios must be punished by forced viewings of Rosie O'Donnell reruns.
3. Thou shalt judge the effectiveness of firepower, shields, and other tactical systems on an absolute basis, not relative to other units in the same universe. Anyone too stupid to recognize the reason for this rule must be taken out and shot, in order to prevent gene pool pollution.
4. Thou shalt remember that firepower is best judged against inert objects such as rocks, not active objects such as fuel tanks in fighter planes. Those who do not understand this obvious fact are too stupid to live, and should be made to fight wild animals for public amusement.
5. He who asks "why would they fight anyway?" shall be stabbed with pointy sticks until he lays drenched in a pool of his own blood.
6. He who assumes that anything futuristic must be greatly superior to anything modern simply by virtue of being futuristic (with no other supporting evidence) must be tarred and feathered for being an idiot.
7. He who protests that he cannot contest the data or calculations but still wishes to contest the numbers must be anally raped with a two-by-four until his rectum is composed of at least 50% splinters by volume.
8. Thou shalt provide explainations of who/what the relevant Universes are as an end note to your post if they are not ST or SW. Offenders will be locked in a Room with a looped tape of an AOLer asking "Who are the Culture?" for 1 week or until their head implodes.
9. Plot Induced Stupidity is straight out. Character Induced Stupidity should also be a definite no-no, unless directly specified to be in effect, same for character shields. Offenders will be made to read Janeway Slash Fics non-stop until their screams make their throats bleed enough for them to drown to death.
10. Thou shalt not extrapolate known or implied abilities to infinity. Just because a Jedi can leap 100ft straight up doesn't mean they can jump over the Empire State building in one go. Offenders shall be made to jump from the Empire State building and see if because they can survive a 1 ft drop, they can survive a 700ft drop.
11. Thine characters shall act according to their previous actions and personalities unless you specified otherwise at the start of the thread. Valid reasons for these changes must be provided (this can be thought of as an expansion/corollary to the Character induced Stupidity law). Offenders will be torn apart by rabid Hamsters (specially raised and trined to the duty by Raven).
12. When thou art getting thou's ass kicked, thou shalt not be a pussy and utter the phrase "But thine series are only fiction!" If committith this crime, thou shalt be forced to masteurbate with thine's electric pencil sharpener.

Does this cover enough for now?

[consequences]

Why the hell did he escape then?

[Rob Wilson]

Yhat one gets my vote, who knows it might just stop the 7000th posting of "Who are the Culture?".. Then again...

A sizable proportion of people who post in a "vs" thread don't even bother to thoroughly read the opening post and the scenario, so I doubt it.

PS. all hail Rob's first post since July! He sent me a private E-mail explaining that he'd been briefly kidnapped by a secret nymphomaniac clan of ninjas, hence his long absence (sorry about spilling the beans, Rob).

You realise they're after you too now. Quick run before they force you into month long depraved sex sessions.... that's not really an incentive to run is it?

[Rob Wilson]

Why the hell did he escape then?

Escape? I finally wore them out, and am abusing their Net connection until they have the energy to recommence.

[Darth Servo]

You realise they're after you too now. Quick run before they force you into month long depraved sex sessions.... that's not really an incentive to run is it?

It is if you're married.

[Rob Wilson]

You realise they're after you too now. Quick run before they force you into month long depraved sex sessions.... that's not really an incentive to run is it?

It is if you're married.

Who said they wouldn't allow your wife to join in?

[Darth Wong]

It is if you're married.

Who said they wouldn't allow your wife to join in?

My wife likes lesbian porno; she might not be averse to the idea

[Rob Wilson]

It is if you're married.

Who said they wouldn't allow your wife to join in?

My wife likes lesbian porno; she might not be averse to the idea

Truly, you are the luckiest man alive. Maybe i shouldn't have worn these guys out so much?